Adversaries and Lovers (12 page)

She put her arms around his waist and tucked her head against his chest and held onto him, as if she couldn’t let go. “I saw the photograph by your bed and read the newspaper clipping," she said in a ragged voice. "I know I shouldn’t have done that, Ben, but I did, and I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry. She was such a beautiful girl, and you loved her and... it’s so unfair.”

Ben couldn’t speak. He was holding in his arms a woman he was beginning to care deeply for, who was crying over a woman he’d loved and lost, and there weren’t words to describe the profound, heartfelt sorrow that welled inside him. For a long time he found comfort in just holding her. Then a numbness began to creep into him and he felt a deep, nagging uneasiness that his next words would be of enormous significance. After deliberating for some time, he said, simply, “Honey, that was six years ago. Time heals all wounds.” But he knew he was lying to himself, and to Kate. He’d been trying to shut Gayle out of his mind and it was becoming easier now, but he wasn’t yet ready to let her go and allow Kate’s love to fill that void. But, he couldn't let Kate walk away from him either.

As though she’d heard his unspoken words, Kate looked at him and said, “I don’t believe your wounds have healed, Ben. You don’t need a relationship right now, you need a friend.”

Ben said nothing, but in his silence he felt an overwhelming sense of loss for the warm, sensuous women he’d left waiting for him on the futon when his grandfather arrived, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to replace her with a
friend
. But looking at Kate’s determined face, and peering into a pair of resolute eyes, he realized he had no choice. He also knew it was unfair to expect more from her. She was not the kind of woman who could wander into his life, and into his bed, then move on again without looking back. She was gutsy and assertive and could put up a steely front when the occasion called, but she was also vulnerable, the kind of woman who would love unconditionally, and hurt deeply.

There was also something indefinable about Kate that he’d not been aware of when they’d first met, that raised intense male protectiveness in him, and he felt a strong need to shield her from his personal tragedy. He looked down at her, and said, “Some day we’ll talk about it.”

She stared at him with a blend of resolve and disappointment, and said, “But not now.”

He shook his head. “No... not now.” He dropped his arms from around her and went to stand in front of the illustrations. And Kate knew that the tiny portal in Ben’s wall was again closed to her. She walked over to stand beside him. “I’m glad you like my ideas,” she said, staring at the drawings, wishing Ben would hold her and kiss her the way he’d done before his grandfather had come. But when he started talking about his plans for the TV commercial they’d be shooting in the next few weeks, she knew the moment of their coming together had passed and wasn’t likely to return. Ben’s wounds had not yet healed. Perhaps they never would. He had, however, asked her to give him more time, and she’d told him she would. But the dynamics of their relationship, or whatever it was they shared, had changed. No more clever sexual innuendo, no more stolen kisses, no more passionate embraces.
Friends
didn’t do that...

“Are you with me, Katie?” Ben’s words caught her up short. He stopped his pacing in front of the illustrations while waiting for her response.

She looked at him. “Sorry. I was distracted. What were you saying?”

He started pacing again, and while he rambled on about the swim fin set-up, Kate began to wander around the room, hands clasped beneath her chin, trying to focus on what he was saying, but failing. It was while he was describing the difficulty of shooting underwater in the pool that she spoke over his words, saying, “Ben, take me back to Cooper’s Landing.”

Abruptly Ben stopped his pacing. “Now?”

“Yes now. I want to see it again. When I was wandering around the town before, I really wasn’t looking at it. I was too distracted. But now, I want to go back and see Cooper’s Landing through your eyes, and get to know it, and you.”

Ben braced his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her, and said, “I was distracted too. My mind kept jumping between a pair of angry hazel eyes and a hot woman in a Sealskin suit. I’m having trouble keeping my mind off the woman in the suit right now.”

Kate smiled. “Well, I don’t have the suit with me so you won’t be distracted by it.”

“But I could be distracted by the lack of it," he said. "The hot tub’s still a good place to explore ideas... and other things.”

Kate caught the flash of wry amusement in his eyes. It seemed that sexual innuendo would be part of their passionless relationship, and she’d have to be satisfied with that for now. But with time, maybe it would blossom into something more. She could still hope for that.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Ben held out his hand for Kate to take. “Come on, babe. The mayor of Cooper’s Landing's going to take you on his exclusive tour, reserved only for intimate friends.”

Kate slipped her hand in his and walked with him to the boat landing. By the time they were aboard and ready to leave, heavy clouds had gathered, and the moist, dank air promised rain. Kate looked heavenward, and said in a worried voice, “Maybe we should do this another time. Those clouds look pretty threatening.”

Ben cocked his head and replied, as if it were an abstract consideration, “Don’t worry honey. If it rains, I’ll keep you warm and dry. That’s what friends are for.” As he slowly backed the boat away from the wharf, Kate leaned against the gunwales, watching him. She scanned the angles of his face, catching the laugh lines at the outer corners of his eyes. The strain she’d seen earlier had vanished, and he looked content, as if the burden of a relationship was gone and there was no pressure to be anything but what he was. She found that oddly appealing, because the pressure was also off her. Over the past few weeks her feelings for him had vacillated between being on the verge of hysteria, and wanting to crawl into his bed and stay there forever.

But she had also not lost sight of her goal to convince him to build his corporate office somewhere else. She held faith that, in the end, he'd do what was right and leave the old folks alone to enjoy their golden years, while continuing to meet at the Corner Café for as long as they were able. Ben could not be so cold hearted as to take that away from them.

By the time they reached Cooper’s Landing, the late afternoon sun was beginning to cast long shadows. Kate stood beside Ben, gazing at the town as if for the first time. During her last visit, between the scary motorcycle ride up the hill, and the episode with the ad layouts, she’d been so uneasy about what to expect from Ben that she hadn’t appreciated the exquisite beauty of the aged town and its weathered buildings. “Cooper’s Landing is an artist’s dream,” she said, musingly. “I wish I’d brought my paints.”

“Don’t even think about ads right now,” Ben said. “We’re not here on business this time.”

“I wasn’t thinking of ads," Kate said. "In fact, I never wanted to be an illustrator, or even an art director for that matter. I do it because it pays my bills. All I ever wanted was to be a traditional artist and paint with oils, which pays nothing.”

“You never told me that,” Ben said, looking at her curiously.

Kate shrugged. “You never asked. You said I was easy to read so I didn’t see a need to tell you anything more.”

“I said that when I was a cocky bastard full of myself. But you had me pegged from the start as a man on the make, a habit I got into to keep from—" he stopped short.

“Getting close?” Kate added. “I’m familiar with that pattern in your behavior.”

“Yeah,. Well, I’m working on that too. And you’re far from readable, Katie. You intrigue me and excite me. And you also make me want to be a better man.”

"I'm glad," Kate said. She was tempted to tell him that if he truly wanted to be a better man, he'd find another location for his project, but couldn't bring herself to do it. But maybe, because of her, he was at last seriously thinking about it. "Meanwhile, come show me your town.” She hopped to the dock, and he landed beside her and interlaced his fingers with hers and led her through the vacant streets, telling her all he’d learned about Cooper’s Landing and the citizens who’d once lived there. On the outskirts of the town, Kate stopped and gazed across a patchwork of abandoned houses. “What finally happened?” she asked.

“When the ferry stopped running, the cooperage shut down, and Cooper’s Landing just kind of faded away,” Ben replied.

“That’s sad.” For a long time, Kate stood staring at the derelict settlement, saying nothing, until finally Ben rested his hand behind her neck, and said, “So, what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

Kate shrugged. “A few years back I came up with this design for a subdivision—"

“So now the lady’s an architect,” Ben cut in. Then catching her look of mild vexation, he added, “Okay, what about your subdivision?”

“Well, I got the idea from watching all the old folks going back and forth across the street. Now don’t say anything—“

“I’m listening. In fact, I’m fascinated with what your subdivision might be.”

“It’s just that, well I figured, if the fronts of the houses faced each other, and the occupants looked out onto a sidewalk instead of a street, then neighbors could visit each other by walking up and down the sidewalk and chatting over the fences in the front yards. The streets would run along the backs of the properties where the garages would be. I plotted out eleven houses for each five-acre parcel. There would be benches off the sidewalk, and a small park midway where everyone could gather to sit and talk and maybe barbecue." When Ben made no comment, Kate glanced at him and saw his far-away look. “Ben, we’re you even listening?”

His eyes sharpened. “I’m listening. Do you have it laid out, or is it in your head?”

“It’s laid out. In fact I approached a contractor at one time, but it was too expensive and complicated a venture to get into, so I dropped it. That, and the fact that I had no money at all.”

“Maybe you’ll show it to me sometime?”

“Only if you’re really interested and not just trying to humor me. Meanwhile, it’s starting to rain,” Kate said, holding her palm up, “and I want you to show me again what you have planned for your pub.”

They entered the cooperage, and what instantly caught their attention was the plaintive meows of a kitten. They followed the sounds, which took them to the room with the hot tub. High on a beam above the big vat, a gray kitten, not more than a couple of months old, peered down at them from his perch, then let out a series of frantic meows. “Poor little kitty," Kate said. "You’ve got to get him down, Ben. We can’t leave him here.”

“I’ll get him down," Ben said. "But what do you intend to do with him then?”

“I don’t know. Just get him down and we’ll worry about that after.”

Ben balanced on the edge of the vat and reached up and grabbed the kitten, cradling him against his chest as he climbed down. The kitten crawled up Ben’s arm and crouched on his shoulder and nuzzled his ear. Ben turned his head toward the purring kitten,. and said, “Don’t get too comfortable, buddy, we’ll be parting company soon.” He lifted the kitten off his shoulder and put him on the floor. The kitten amused itself by scurrying under a stool and playing with its tail.

Ben stood on one side of the vat, Kate on the other, and for the first time since they’d entered the room they looked at each other across the water. The unspoken words were almost tangible and the desire to act on them was so strong, it was almost palpable. Ben edged around the cask to where Kate stood and looked at her, his eyes intense with suppressed desire. He raised his hand above her head and finally let it touch her hair. After a beat of silence, he said, “You know what I want, and I think you want it too.”

Kate looked up at him, the feather light touch of his hand on her hair sending tiny tingles coursing through her. When his hand settled on her shoulder and she could collect her thoughts, she said, “If you mean a relationship, it can’t be now. Not yet.”

Ben studied her soberly for a few moments, saying nothing, then placed a kiss on her forehead and said, “When?"

Kate caught the flash of expectation in his eyes. “Only you can answer that. But it’s not now.” Trying to dismiss the tight, breathless feeling in her chest and the dangerous thoughts that accompanied that feeling, she reached down and gathered the kitten in her arms. “I think we’d better be getting back.”

"Yeah, I suppose," Ben said, and followed her out the cooperage.

At the boat, Kate put the kitten in a box and closed the lid, then rejoined Ben on the dock. The rain had stopped and the waning sun glowed like polished copper. Kate stood at the head of the wharf, gazing at a town framed by fall colors, and she vowed to return with her paints and capture the scene on canvas. Her back to Ben, she said, “Look how beautiful Cooper’s Landing is. Everything the sun’s rays touch is burnished and red. It’s like an enchanted city.”

Ben came up behind her and curved his arms around her waist, holding her tight against him. “Can friends do this?” he asked against the top of her head.

Kate nodded, and placed her hands over his arms, then tipped her head back. He rested his cheek against her head, and together they watched the changing colors of sunset.

It came to Kate then that, standing in the circle of Ben’s arms, her hands on his, should she look at them in a mirror, she’d see a reflection of the two figures in the framed photograph on Ben’s bed table, the first thing Ben saw in the morning, and the last thing he saw at night, and she wondered which woman he was holding right now. The thought that he might not be holding her hovered in her mind like a ghost in the mist that refused to go away.

***

They arrived back at Kate’s grandmother’s house to find Henry’s old truck parked out front. Ben shut off the motor and stared at the truck for a few moments, then said, amused, “I think Gramps has come courting. I didn’t think the old boy still had it in him, but when I passed on to him your grandmother’s regards, about fifteen years dropped from his face and his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy shop."