Adventures of a Cat-Whiskered Girl (21 page)

"Guess what," I said. "I'm for using the ordinary ladder. If we go up the other one they will probably dump buckets on us, or set off firecrackers, or try to make us buy pineapple hats."

"I agree," Molly said. "Let's start climbing. I bet it's only ten feet."

"I bet it's eight feet."

It was more like a hundred feet. I have plenty of experience as a mountain climber, and Molly as a dwerg can climb right up a smooth wall, but it was still a long, hard climb. The ladder was dirty and dusty, and went up a narrow wooden shaft. We figured we had been lowered into a mine after all.

"I hate those Mystic Brothers," Molly said.

"Oh, I hate them too," I said.

"Why are you climbing with the Sacred Snooker Stick?" Molly asked me. "Doesn't it make it harder for you?"

"It's mine," I said. "They gave it to me."

"They gave it to both of us," Molly said. "But you may have my share."

"I am not going down in the earth and stumbling around in the dark and having Mexican peppers thrown at me and getting squirted and not even get a Sacred Snooker Stick out of it," I said. "Thanks for your share. I need this Snooker Stick." I had no idea why I said that or what I needed it for.

"De boom is de sleutel," Molly said.

We got to the top of the ladder and clambered through a little door in a wall to find we were looking at a really big flying saucer! It was huge, and glowing—sitting on the ground in what looked like a park, with an enormous metal man standing in front of it. He was glowing too, and he was close to us, just a few feet away! Our mouths dropped open. We were too surprised and scared to move.

Then we heard a very loud voice—it was a woman's voice—saying, "Klaatu barada nikto." I felt chills down my spine. I felt amazement and awe. I felt ... recognition.

"Wait a second," I said.

"Yeah, I saw this movie too," Molly said.

"Do you realize where we are?" I asked.

"We're on the back side of a movie screen," Molly said. "The movie is being projected on the other side. It's
The Day the Earth Stood Still.
It's been playing at the Panopticon in Poughkeepsie."

"Which would make sense, because this
is
the Panopticon in Poughkeepsie," I said.

"You think?" Molly asked.

"It's easily tested," I said. "Let's go through that side door with the red Exit sign over it."

We went though the door and found ourselves in the alley next to the movie house. We walked to the street, and there was good old Poughkeepsie as we knew it. And as if to prove we were back in our old time and space, who should come walking along, carrying a gallon jar of beet borscht from Adams's Farm Market, but Professor Tag!

"Professor Tag!" we shouted.

"Hello, girls," the professor said. "What have you been up to? Would you like to come to my house to enjoy some borscht?"

"We swore an oath not to," Molly said. "But we have a lot to tell you. Would you come with us to Chicken Nancy's house?"

"Of course," Professor Tag said. "I'll just take the borscht along as a present for the old lady. That's a nice Sacred Snooker Stick—where did you get it?"

"We'll tell you everything when we get to Chicken Nancy's."

I checked my reflection in store windows as we passed. I had lost the enhanced pussycatness that had happened while we were on the semi-Poughkeepsie plane. This caused mixed feelings—I was happy to see the more familiar me, but I thought I had looked better with fur all over.

When we got to Chicken Nancy's little house in the woods she was outside, mixing sugar and yeast into a big tub of cornmeal mush.

"I brought you borscht," Professor Tag said.

"Pour it right in here," Chicken Nancy said. "It will give it age. Hello, girls. Did you learn things on your trip with the Wolluf?"

"We certainly did, and we have questions to ask you," Molly said. "For instance, is it true that you and the Wolluf are secretly Audrey's parents? Are you a leprechaun? Is there a pot of gold buried under the floor of your little house? Do you come from Venus? Am I actually a princess from a magical realm? Has all this been a dream?"

"No," Chicken Nancy said. "Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to have something to say," Molly said. "Once Audrey gets started, she's going to do all the talking."

"Understood," Chicken Nancy said.

"Oh, there is one thing," Molly said. "I was thinking I would just live here with you for a few years and learn to be a wise woman. Is that okay?"

"I assumed we had already agreed about that," Chicken Nancy said.

"Cool," Molly said. "I just wanted to make it official. I'll be quiet now. Audrey, you go."

Of course, I had to bring Chicken Nancy and Professor Tag up to date, telling them about all the things that had happened since we went underground with the Wolluf. "By the way, what was with the Wolluf running out on us like that?" I asked Chicken Nancy.

"He's the Wolluf," Chicken Nancy said. "He's wild and unpredictable—but you must admit, no
harm came to you. I think you have to give him credit for knowing that was how it would be. But what I am waiting to hear is whether you learned anything or figured anything out."

"I was coming to that," I said. "It's all about Elizabeth Van Vreemdeling. First you show me a picture of her, and it looks just like me. Molly thinks I actually am Elizabeth Van Vreemdeling. You say maybe I am. Professor Tag says I definitely am—"

"I do say that," the professor said.

"The trolls on Bannerman's Island think I am, and so it goes. After a while, I started thinking I am ... only I know I'm not ... only I have the feeling I am. It gets all confusing. And then I started feeling that I am and I am not. I am me, Audrey, and I am Elizabeth Van Vreemdeling too, and also a girl I saw in a crowd on the semi-Poughkeepsie plane."

"Are you saying you are one of those multiple personalities?" Professor Tag asked. "I was just reading about those—people who have several different imaginary persons within them."

"I am saying I am a multiple person—not just personality," I said. "I don't have it all worked out. Maybe it's that there is one of us, or of me, on this plane—that would be Elizabeth—and one on the plane I came from—that would be me—and one on
the quasi-Poughkeepsian plane Molly and I just visited—that would be the girl I saw. And there's the time thing—that's confusing. Maybe there has been a whole string of Elizabeths, or Audreys, over time.

"But here's the thing I am sure of—I have to do something for Elizabeth. Maybe the whole reason I came to Poughkeepsie was to do this thing for her."

"And do you know what that thing is?" Chicken Nancy asked.

"Not exactly. I almost know it. It's right on the tip of my brain, so to speak. What I do know is that it has something to do with the flying pussycats."

Molly was grinning. So was Chicken Nancy.

"Flying pussycats?" Professor Tag asked.

"They're not flying saucers. They're not spaceships like in the movies. They're not machines. They're alive, and if they're not pussycats, they're something pretty close to pussycats."

"What are you saying? That there are pussycats capable of interplanetary travel?" the professor asked.

"What day is this?" I asked.

"Wednesday," Professor Tag said.

"Come with me to Spookhuizen tonight, and I'll show you," I said.

"I'll come along," Chicken Nancy said. "Not only is it Wednesday, but this is the day of the year when a great ball would be held at Spookhuizen. I used to attend those balls. It will be pleasant to visit on this night, and remember them. In fact, let's dress up fancy tonight."

"Dress up fancy?" Molly asked.

"Yes! Call it an old woman's whim," Chicken Nancy said. "I have a couple of ball gowns you girls would look lovely in."

"I can go home and put on my kilt and regalia!" Professor Tag said.

"You have a kilt and regalia?"

"Oh, yes. The Royal Scottish Accountants—I am a member."

"It will be fun," Chicken Nancy said. "Do you agree?"

"I'll bet one of the gowns belonged to Elizabeth Van Vreemdeling," Molly said.

"As a matter of fact..." Chicken Nancy said.

"We can fix up our hair too," I said.

"Take naps!" Chicken Nancy said. "Then we'll dress, and have an elegant meal, and all go to Spookhuizen, just as though we were going to a ball in the old times."

Before we took our naps, which we needed after being initiated all night long, Molly asked me, "What do you plan to show us at Spookhuizen tonight?"

"It's going to come to me," I said. "I'm going to have an idea, and something will happen. It will all be made clear."

"And how do you know all this?" Molly asked. "I just know it," I said.

"Well, you're practically getting to be a dwerg for knowing things," Molly said.

"I learned from the best," I said.