Adrenaline (Speed #2) (4 page)

My heart ached at the mentioning of home. Sure, North Carolina was where I lived, but my true home was the three-thousand-acre ranch I owned in Crawford. This home was a four-thousand-square-foot museum for my mother to put shit in she bought while traveling.

“Texas was wonderful as always. The only reason I came back was for your chicken and dumplings.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure it was.”

Nancy lived in the guesthouse behind the main house. There had been plenty of times she has walked in on more than one naked girl in this house. And every single time she preached to them about walking around a man’s home naked. She even brought one girl to tears.
Damn what was that chick’s name?

“Who’s name?”

My head snapped over to look at her. “Huh?”

“You just asked, what was that chick’s name. Girls are not chickens, Malcolm.”

I grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and laughed. “I can’t believe I said that out loud. I was trying to think of the name of the girl who you made cry when you basically called her a whore for walking around my house naked.”

Nancy snarled her lip. “Oh. Her. Rhonda was her name I believe. Couldn’t have been but twenty-one.”

Placing the beer to my lips, I took a drink. “I like them young, Nancy. You should know that by now.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “All I know is when you come home I need to make sure I have Lysol wipes for my poor kitchen island.”

Laughing, I tried to remember the last time I fucked girl on my kitchen island. Oh yeah . . . Linda . . . the chick who does all the gardening.

“I ought to give Linda a call. See about some winter plants or something.”

Nancy glared at me and shook her head. “Get out of my kitchen and let me think clearly so I can make you some dinner, or are you going out tonight?”

“Actually, Emmit invited me over to dinner.”

Nancy’s mouth dropped. “Emmit? Emmit Lewis? Is this a good idea?”

I downed the rest of my beer as I kissed Nancy on the forehead. “I think it will be fine. He wants to show me his blissfully happy life and all that shit.”

“Or he found out you’re having sex with his sister and he is going to poison you.”

Tilting my head, I agreed. “There’s that too.”

My evening consisted of watching two people madly in love with each other exchange looks, kiss each other way more than needed and one over-the-top adorable baby who I couldn’t seem to give back to his mother.

Adaline sat down next to me and gave me that smile of hers. The one where she thinks she is going to have this great heart to heart with me and all the problems in my world will be solved.

“So . . .”

I held Landon and continued to make goofy faces at him. As long as he kept laughing, I was going to keep doing it.

“So what?” I asked.

Adaline leaned over to see where Emmit was. “You and Ashley still . . . you know?”

I completely ignored her which pissed her off. It was fun making Adaline mad. I really needed to do it more often.

“Don’t ignore me, Malcolm Wallace. I’ve carried your dirty little secret and I get to hear all the juicy details cause Ashley claims y’all are just . . . well you’re um . . . how do I say this?”

“Fucking?”

Adaline made a dramatic gasping sound. “Not in front of the baby!”

“Oh yeah, cause he totally understands what fucking is.”

“Oh my gawd! You did it again!” she cried out as Landon started laughing.

With a glance up toward the kitchen where Emmit still was, I shook my head. “I haven’t seen her in a few weeks. We decided to call it quits.”

Adaline fell back and clutched her chest. “Oh thank goodness. I was so afraid Emmit would find out.”

“Yeah well, no need to worry anymore; she found Jon.”

She leaned forward as she narrowed her eyes at me. “Does that bother you she found someone she likes?”

“No! I’m honestly happy for her. Surprised, but happy none the less.”

“Are you sure? Maybe the old Malcolm is getting tired of all the sleeping with women.”

Now it was my turn to gasp. Why did everyone think I was ready to settle down and be a one-woman kind of man? It was starting to piss me off. “Bite your tongue.” I handed her Landon and stood. “Speaking of.”

“Wait! Malcolm, seriously. You’re not ready to start looking at maybe settling down? Find someone who will be there when you fall asleep
and
when you wake up?”

An image of Casey flashed through my head as I tried like hell to make it go away. “I’ve got to go. I’ll show myself out. Tell Emmit I said thank you for dinner and I’ll talk to him soon.”

Her disappointed look made me feel guilty, but the last thing I wanted to talk about was my sex life.

“How about dinner on Sunday?” Adaline called out.

Lifting my hand, I gave her a wave. “I need to ease into this friendship thing with Emmit. Bye sweet, Addie. Thank you for dinner.”

As I opened the door, I heard Adaline laugh. “Bye, Malcolm!”

I spent the rest of the night trying to forget how I felt being around Emmit and Adaline. Trying desperately to ignore the pain in my chest as I longed for what they had. Trying to forget as I fucked some girl in the back seat of my truck who I picked up at a bar.

TREY HAD SLIPPED OUT OF
bed earlier and took a shower while I laid there and stared out my oversized window. The guilt of last night washed over me like a wave of nausea. I rolled over as the sheet slipped down, exposing me more than I wanted.

Trey turned and smiled. It was a beautiful smile and I wished like hell it did something more to me, but it didn’t. I read in all those damn romance books how your heart is supposed to fall or stupid butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Bullshit.

None of that had ever happened to me.

When he dropped the towel he had wrapped around his waist, something did happen. My lower stomach pooled with heat as I licked my lips.

“Good morning,” he softly spoke.

My eyes lit up at the sound of his voice as I pulled the sheet down, exposing my naked body to him. “Not yet it isn’t.”

His smile grew as he crawled onto the bed and kissed me sweetly. I wasn’t used to guys hanging around the morning after. Not like I had a revolving door of men coming and going. I’d slept with about six different guys my entire life. None of them I shared any kind of relationship with.

All men wanted the same thing.

Sex.

Of course I had had plenty of fun with plenty of guys. If they were willing to get me off in the corner of a club, or in my car, I was more than up for it. Anything to numb the emptiness I felt in my heart. Sex was saved for when I really needed to forget life.

Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him on me and quickly forgot about my guilt as my legs hooked around the back of his.

“Condom,” I spoke against his lips as he grabbed one off the side table and sheathed himself.

He pushed in as we both let out a moan. Slowly he made love to me. It was different. It was nice. It was something I could learn to like. And that scared the hell out of me.

With his forehead leaning against mine, our breathing slowly returned to normal.

“I need to tell you I don’t normally go home with women like this.”

With a smile, I chewed on my lip. “I don’t normally bring guys home like this either.”

His amber eyes shinned a bit brighter as he kissed the tip of my nose; a sweet gesture that did nothing. I was positive it should have made me feel some kind of swoon moment.

Trey pulled out of me and removed the condom before lying down next to me. “Will you have breakfast with me?”

Pressing my lips together, I had to keep the panic feeling rising in my chest down as I rolled over on my side to face him. “Breakfast?” I asked with a smile.

“Yeah. And maybe after practice, dinner?”

My fingers moved lightly over his huge arm. Damn this guy was built like a rock. “What kind of practice?” His face pulled back in shock before it was replaced by a look of sheer bliss. His grin caused me to chuckle. “What’s with that smile?”

“You don’t know who I am?”

My heart dropped.
Oh shit. Am I supposed to know him? Oh hell. Shit. Shit. Shit. What have I got myself into?

“Um . . . should I?”

He pulled my body closer to his as my hand went to his massive chest. “No. You have no idea how happy you just made with that simple answer, Paislie.”

I liked how Trey made me feel. Not many men made me feel like I was wanted for something other than money or sex. “So are you going to tell me why you thought I knew you?”

His smile faded for a brief second. “Promise it won’t change anything?”

Lifting my pinky finger up, I replied with, “I pinky promise.”

“Trey Rogers. I play for the Dallas Cowboys.”

My smile dropped and I pinched my eyebrows together as I let it sink in that I just had sex all night, and then again this morning, with the star running back of the Dallas Cowboys. “Does this mean I have to be a fan of the Cowboys now, ‘cause I’m more of a Texan’s fan,” I said as Trey let out a roar of laughter and pulled me on top of him.

“I like you, Paislie.”

As much as I didn’t want to say it . . . I forced it out as to not hurt Trey’s feelings. “I kind of like you too, Trey.”

Pushing the large doors open, I made my way into the old church. Dipping my fingers in holy water, I made the sign of the cross. My heart felt light and free as I walked further in. Bending on one knee, I slid down the wooden pew and quickly went to my knees.

Crossing my hands, I rested my forehead.

Please forgive me father for my weakness. Forgive me for desiring the needs my body selfishly craves.

“I thought I saw you walking in.”

Her voice pulled me from my prayer. Turning to look over my shoulder, I smiled when I saw Sister Elizabeth.

“Elizabeth,” I said as I pushed myself up and made my way to her. Dropping to my knees, I let my head fall.

“Child, why are you dropping to your knees before me? Stand up, Paislie.”

Doing as she said, I stood, took her hands in mine and kissed the back of them. “I’ve missed you, Sister Elizabeth.”

My eyes took in the only woman I’d ever had in my life as a mother-figure. She was a young, beautiful twenty-year-old when she first held my eight-year-old hand in hers and led me into Saint Patrick’s Orphanage. Now she stood before me as an even more beautiful thirty-seven-year-old woman, who also happened to be one of my best friends.

With a smile, I shook my head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the fact you don’t wear a habit anymore.”

With a chuckle, she wrapped her arm with mine as we made our way to the front of the church.

“I see the heaviness in your eyes, Paislie. Do you want to talk?”

At one point in my life, I told this woman everything. Every hope, desire, and dream I had floating in my head, even my wish to follow in her footsteps and become a nun.

“I was asking for forgiveness.”

“Hmm . . . for?”

My eyes closed as we sat in the front pew. “My ways.”

“I see,” she said as she looked at me. “Paislie, you’re a young woman and your
ways
as you call them are normal feelings that every woman has. Even me.”

Pressing my lips together, my chin trembled. “I’m not as strong as you, Elizabeth.”

“Strength has nothing to do with it. I had a calling . . . your calling is not the same as mine.”

“Do you ever wish your life was different?”

She lifted her brow as she stared intently at me. “Let’s go for a walk outside. I need to check and see how my winter garden is doing today.”

Lacing my arm with hers, we made our way out to the garden tucked behind the church.

I inhaled a deep breath of air as I let the familiar smells of this place fill my senses. After walking in silence for a few minutes, she finally spoke.

“Paislie, you let guilt fill your heart when you follow your human nature. Sex is not a bad thing and something you certainly shouldn’t feel the need to drop to your knees and ask forgiveness for.”

I swallowed hard. “What if I’m using it for all the wrong reasons?”

She lifted a brow. “You don’t have feelings for him?”