Adored: A Masters and Mercenaries Novella (1001 Dark Nights) (14 page)

Had that scared her?

She shook her head. “I’m not scared so much as confused. I don’t know what happened, Mitch. I got to the bottom of those stairs and I realized that I was pregnant and I don’t know what’s going to happen. Am I going to be up there getting tied up when I’m as big as a whale? Or is this temporary and I’ll only play while I’m still somewhat small and you won’t want to play with me when I’m huge. Maybe you’ll want another sub. One who can see her feet. Serena told me by the end of her pregnancy she couldn’t see her feet.”

Yep. He would rather face a team of lawyers in front of the Supreme Court with a no-win case than have to see her cry. He held her close. He was shitty at the tender stuff, but somehow Laurel seemed to bring it out of him. “You’ll only get tied up as long as you want to be, baby. I can’t imagine wanting another sub. Even one who can see her feet. I’m not all that into feet anyway. And if you want to see yours, I’ll hold a mirror up and you’ll be able to see them. Baby, don’t cry.”

That seemed to make her cry harder.

“Or you can cry. You can cry all you like.”

He held her and smoothed a hand over her back as he rocked to the music. There was something both sexy and comforting about the beat.

Until he listened to the lyrics.

Where did they go? From here, where the hell were they supposed to go? Should they simply move through life and play house?

He had to face the fact that he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married again. He also had to face the fact that he didn’t want to live without Laurel.

He didn’t even know what to think about the kid, and didn’t that make him the biggest shit of all time?

Somehow, they ended up lying together in the big bed as she slowly calmed. He cuddled her close, almost dreading the moment when they would have to talk again because he had no idea what to say. When he was with her, everything felt right, but she was utterly correct. Things were going to change. They would have to.

She sniffled and laid her head on his chest. “I’m sorry I ruined the evening.”

The song started up again and he laid a hand on her head. “You didn’t ruin anything, Laurel. We’re fine. You’re just emotional. Don’t you have hormones and stuff?”

She nodded against his chest. “Lots.”

They would ebb and flow and eventually go away. He simply had to hold on to her through the rough stuff.

And what about when the kid comes? That’s about the roughest stuff possible. No way you can control a kid. You don’t even know how to be a dad, and we all know what kind of a husband you make.

His arms wrapped around her almost as though rebelling against the logic of his brain. She was his. He didn’t have to give her up now. Not even for her own good. “You’ll see. We’ll be fine. And you’re going to be gorgeous when you’re really big… I mean further along.”

Her face was red but her lips had turned up when she looked at him. “I’m going to be big, Mitch. Really big. I’m supposed to gain at least thirty pounds, but when I’m not nauseous I’m hungry, so I might gain more. Unfortunately, this baby doesn’t get kale cravings. He wants ice cream. Or she. Either way, this tiny thing obviously has a sweet tooth.”

Well, Laurel certainly did. “The good news is I heard Macon Miles made a massive cake for tonight. The midnight buffet isn’t far away, but if you need something now, we can make it happen. Pregnant ladies get perks.”

Or he would steal some if he had to. He would do anything to keep a smile on her face.

“Mitch, do you honestly think you’ll still want to play with me? I don’t see a bunch of pregnant women running around here. I think I’m the only one.”

Was that what she was worried about? She’d been in the nursery for most of her time as a trainee, so she’d only seen the moms coming back after they had babies. “Laurel, it’s been a freaking baby boom around here. You feel alone because you haven’t seen it. Charlotte Taggart was playing up until a couple of weeks before she gave birth. They modified everything for her, but she and Big Tag weren’t going to give that part of their life up. From what I hear, Serena and Avery played long into their pregnancies, and so did Sean’s wife, Grace. And you won’t be alone. I happen to know Keith and Ashley are trying to get pregnant, and so are Jesse and Phoebe. Although they’ll probably name their baby after Harry Potter, so I’m praying for that kid. And you know one of these days Will’s going to give in and convince Bridget to have a kid.”

He feared for a world where Bridget Daley had pregnancy hormones running through her veins.

But he didn’t want Laurel to feel alone.

“So no one’s going to think it’s weird or irresponsible?”

“To play with the father of your baby?” He’d almost slipped and said husband.

She shrugged as though it didn’t matter when it so obviously did. “Just to play. Maybe I should only think about the baby.”

“Laurel, you don’t have to give up your sexuality because you’re pregnant. No one here would ever want you to do that. You’re beautiful and nothing makes me prouder than to show you off, but if you’re uncomfortable, then we’ll play privately.”

“Do you mean that?”

He would miss coming here, miss the camaraderie. “Yes. My place is with you.”

At least he knew that much.

“You love this place.”

“But I need to stay with you.” There was something else, something he couldn’t even think.
I love you more
. “I need to look out for you and the baby. If I can’t do that here, then I’ll do it where I can. But Laurel, you don’t stop being a woman because you become a mom. I’ve seen it happen, though more on the other side. My mom didn’t stop being a woman. Ever. She wasn’t much of a mom, but even I know you’re different. You can be both because I know you’ll never neglect your child. You’ll find a balance.”

He hoped they would both find it. Somehow, he couldn’t see himself being a father and if he couldn’t manage it, then he wouldn’t be able to keep Laurel. Unlike his mother, she would choose her child’s needs. Even if it meant giving up the child’s father.

She buried her head in the curve of his neck. “I can’t believe I did that. I burst into tears. How am I ever going to walk back out there?”

“Why wouldn’t you walk back out there?”

“Because of how embarrassed I’ll be.”

Now that the storm had passed, it seemed like a good time to take control again. “What would you be embarrassed about? Because everyone here knows you’re pregnant. And almost all subs cry at some point. It’s expected. No one will think less of you. Now tell me what happened. What really made you cry?”

She sat up and her eyes slid away from his. “It was the thought that I’ll be a mom soon and…it’s not like I’m thin now. Everyone would see me. You would see me.”

What the hell did that mean? It was definitely time to take charge. He sat up beside her. “Laurel, I’ve seen you naked many times. I see you naked every single night, so you’re going to have to explain how my seeing you naked could possibly cause you to cry.”

“You haven’t seen how your friends might react. Maybe they have prettier subs.” She frowned. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m trying to be honest with you. I might be all right now, but everything is going to change. I’ll gain weight, and even afterward I’ll have stretch marks and I’ll breast feed so my boobs will likely sag, and it’s really hard because you keep telling me to live in the moment, but I can’t.”

“Laurel, I’ll still want you.” He wasn’t sure she would want him. He wasn’t sure she wouldn’t figure out exactly how many men there were out there with whole hearts and easy tempers.

“How can you know that?”

“I know.” It was the one thing he was certain of. “If you’re worried about the future, you know what to do.” He was also certain that marriage would be best—even if he found the entire idea unsettling. “I’ve already asked you to marry me. We can get on a flight to Vegas and be married tomorrow.”

She stared at him, her eyes wary. “Is that what you want?”

“I think that would be best for our baby.”

Her eyes turned down and she seemed to shake something off. When she looked back up there was a smile on her face, though a hint of sadness permeated her being. “I think our baby is going to be fine. And you’re right. Living in the moment is for the best. Marriage isn’t a promise of permanency. Let’s make a pact. Whatever happens, we’ll respect each other and be friends.”

He didn’t want to be her friend. And he didn’t want to be her ex. He didn’t want to only see her or hear from her when she needed money or wanted to take him back to court. “We’ll always be friends.”

It was why he hadn’t wanted to get involved with her in the first place. Laurel had become essential to him. She was the bright spot in his days, the reason he wanted to get up in the mornings. He truly would have stayed in the background. He would have watched her date and find a good man and get married. He would have watched over her and counted himself lucky to have her in his life.

Friends stayed. Friends stuck it out.

He was almost certain they could never be friends again.

“Sweet Child o’ Mine” started up again and there was a banging against the wall. Rhythmic and loud.

Laurel laughed suddenly, her whole face lighting up.

At least it proved a point. He gestured to the wall. “Proof positive that there is sex after children. And hey, we’ve only got one in there. We’re better off than Big Tag and Charlotte, but they seem to have found a way around it.”

She stood up and walked over to the closet. He watched her cautiously, unsure of where she was going. She opened the door and he heard her rummage around inside. When she turned, she had a length of rope in her hand. “Mitch, I know I screwed up the demo.”

“You didn’t screw it up. You had an emotional reaction. It’s fine. Alex can handle it.”

“Maybe we could at least show off your skills. Maybe you could make me a dress for the after party.”

His dick jumped at the thought. “Come here.”

She stepped toward him, offering him the rope. “Do you think that’s a good idea? I love the patterns you can make. They’re beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful, but we have something we need to take care of first.” He patted his lap. They wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer. When she started to show she wouldn’t be able to lie on her belly, but he wanted her across his lap while it was still safe. He usually disciplined submissives on spanking benches or in some fashion where he had the most control and the least amount of intimacy. He tended to use crops or paddles. Canes if the submissive was amenable.

But he wanted Laurel over his lap, wanted her dependent on him, needed to feel her squirm and writhe under his hand.

“I thought you didn’t care that I ruined the scene.”

“This isn’t about the scene. You disobeyed my direct command that you wait for me outside the locker room. You’re not allowed to run around the dungeon without me.”

“Bridget was up there without Will.”

“That’s Will’s problem. Not mine. You’re my sub and we have our own rules. So let’s get the punishment over and I’ll make your top. I won’t do a complete dress because I want you to be able to move.” He would have to go easy. Though right now there was absolutely no sign that Laurel was carrying a child, he wouldn’t bind her tightly. He would form diamond patterns around her torso, force her breasts out, but he would bind her in deference to her comfort. And if she simply couldn’t stand it, he would run the ropes over her clothes.

She couldn’t know how much he was bending for her. She couldn’t imagine how rigid he’d been before. If she ever knew how much power she had, it would all be over. It was better to let her think this was the normal way his relationships went.

“You haven’t punished me before.”

“You haven’t misbehaved before.”

A sweet grin lit her face. “You have no idea how unlike me that is.” She took a deep breath. “Okay. I did the crime. I can do the time. It’s twenty-five, right?”

“Yes. Twenty-five. Take off your clothes. Punishment requires nudity. That’s a new rule, too.” He went to the closet. The room had been prepped for him and had everything he’d requested, including the item he found waiting with a nice bottle of lubricant. “And you’ll take a plug in addition to your dress. That’s not punishment though. That’s preparation.”

“I can handle a plug, Master. You’ve been making me wear one every night.”

“You haven’t been spanked while wearing a plug. I believe you’ll find the experience stimulating.”

When he turned, her eyes had gone wide. “That’s a much bigger plug than normal, Mitch.”

“Master here, Laurel. I don’t require formality anywhere but the club. And yes, it’s large, but I fully intend to take your lovely ass very soon, and this will make things so much easier.” He brought the prepped plug and lubricant back to the bed and sat down, his cock already straining.

This was what he needed to banish the unsettling feelings he had about the future. He needed to play with her, to reassure himself that at least for now she belonged to him.

It was all he could really ask for. She belonged to him now.

“Yes, Master.” She drew the shirt over her head and he let go of his cares.

She was all that mattered now.

Chapter Seven

Laurel pushed the skirt off her hips and let Mitch help her lie over his lap. Vulnerable. She was so vulnerable in this position. The room had gone quiet, the music ending. She heard a low chuckle and then a door opening and closing. The Taggarts, it seemed, were satisfied. They would be going downstairs to host the party that was soon to come.

The party she would be attending wearing nothing but Mitch’s rope over her chest and likely the skirt.

Unless he chose otherwise. She’d promised herself she would give Mitch the rest of the night. He’d already given her so much. She wasn’t foolish. She knew his reputation. All of his D/s relationships had been in California, but he’d played with many subs here and they’d all said the same thing. Mitchell Bradford didn’t bend. He was uncompromising as a Dom. If she’d been asked what Master Mitch would do if his submissive threatened to ruin a scene he’d prepared for, she would have told anyone that he would simply find another sub for the scene and then punish his own sub.