Addicted: A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance (33 page)

"Of course Julian," she said, closing the lid on her laptop. "Come in, have a seat. Is there something I can do for you?"

I came into the office and closed the door behind me. She looked at me with the same inscrutable eyes she always had as I collapsed into the chair across from her, and put my face in my hands. "Yuki, I think I've seriously fucked up."

I heard her sigh, and I looked up to see her pursing her lips and putting her chin in the cup of one palm. "How so?"

I laid it all out for her. My original plan, how I ended up fucking Gina in the library, and the entire aftermath. I even told her the truth about what caused me to go from Los Angeles to Chicago, and how Krystal had changed me. I told her everything, editing out only the parts that would be considered a bit too pornographic.

"Yuki, you've helped my Dad so often with advice. I don't really want to talk to him or Sandra, they're already skeptical about my relationship with Krystal. I don't know who I can turn to. What should I do?"

Yuki sat silently for a moment, then set her hands on the desk. "Julian, it comes down to one question, and one question only. Do you truly love Krystal?"

The first tears spilled down my face and I nodded. "More than life itself."

"Then you need to tell her. Tell her the truth."

I looked up at the ceiling of her office, and felt my heart tighten in my chest. "If I do that, she'll hate me. Yuki, I originally planned on fucking her just to get to my father. That's not the sort of foundation a loving relationship is built on."

Yuki nodded, but shrugged. "There have been stranger ones. You could be like me and Lizette."

Lizette was Yuki's wife, the two lesbians having gotten married in Massachusetts as soon as it was legal. "I've never met her, Yuki. You've never let me meet her, probably for good reason. The most I've ever seen is photos of her."

"Well did you know that Lizette and I met at a conversion therapy seminar?"

"A what?"

"Conversion therapy. It's the idea that through counseling and other psychiatric therapies, homosexuality can be treated, and we can become straight."

I sat there, shocked. Yuki, the entire time she'd worked for my father, had always been up front about her lesbianism, and never had seemed the type to be ashamed of it. It wasn't like she was some militant feminazi in your face lesbian, but rather that it was just a matter of fact of life about her, like her black hair or her left handedness. To think that this confident, intelligent woman had been so tormented about her sexual identity as to go to such a sham seminar was shocking. "Okay, I've heard of that, just in a different name. Isn't it all, well, bullshit?"

"It is, but when you've put up with ostracism and outright bigotry all your life, even bullshit can have a ray of hope," Yuki replied. "Either way, we met there, and both of us were desperate. Lizette had been abused in past relationships, and as for me, well, growing up in Japan which is so male dominated and conservative in general, I was at the end of my rope. My father had said he would disown me if I didn't find a husband and pronto, and my mother . . . well, my mother was just in total denial. Any picture she saw of me with a girlfriend was just friends, like many young Japanese have."

"Wow, I never knew. No offense Yuki, but you always have seemed to be pretty strong-willed."

"You were a very angry teenage boy at that time, Julian, I'm surprised you noticed anything. But in any case, there I was at the seminar, and as soon as I saw Lizette, I was smitten. I'd seen her glance at me a few times, and I knew regardless of what else was said, I was done. I was beyond hope. So that night, I climbed up to the roof of the center they were doing the seminar, and I planned to jump off the roof."

"Holy shit," I said, shocked. "What happened?"

"I found Lizette up there. When I approached, she turned and looked at me with those amber eyes of hers and she talked me out of it, and from then on, we've been inseparable.

"Jesus. I never knew."

It was hard to take in, the thought that Yuki the strong, wise, perfect house manager had once been a suicidal wreck. "So you and Lizette have lived happily ever after?"

"Hell no!" Yuki replied with a laugh. "We've had our share of ups and downs, Julian. We're a couple, and no couple outside of the fairy tales has a perfect relationship. I personally think that Cinderella probably gave Prince Charming a good smack upside his head more than once after their wedding. But we're still together because we're honest with each other. So tell Krystal. If your love is as strong as you say it is, then she'll stand by you. It may piss her off, it pisses me off to know what you did, but she'll forgive you in time."

I nodded, and stood up. "Thanks, Yuki. How is it you're not working as some sort of quarter million dollar a year executive or something?"

"Because working in this house and for your father is better than an extra fifty percent to my paycheck," Yuki replied. "Don't think I haven't gotten offers. But some things Julian, some things are more important than money. Now get out of here and find Krystal before Gina gets here. She's supposed to arrive before lunch."

I started, shocked. "Wait, before lunch? Krystal said after lunch."

Yuki shook her head. "Before. She's flying in from Detroit, remember? And last time she flew charter instead of renting a car. She could have already landed."

"Shit. Yuki, do me a favor. If Gina shows up, try to delay her from finding Krystal. At least until I tell her the truth."

"Go on. I'll do what I can."

I ran out of Yuki's office, looking desperately for Krystal. The one disadvantage of having a manor is that everything is so damn BIG. Eight bedrooms, three wings, three dining rooms, acres of land, and the list goes on and on. Hell, someone could disappear if they wanted and never leave the main manor building.

I ran as hard as I could through the house, calling Krystal's name, but nobody answered. Desperate, I looked out the back windows of the main dining room, and saw Krystal sitting under a tree in the manicured portion of the garden, reading a book from the library. I tore through the hallways for the door to the outside, sprinting out and calling her name. "Krystal!"

"Julian?" she said, looking up and putting her finger in the book, closing it. "What's wrong?"

I was panting, I had been sprinting and running through the manor for so long, and I had to put my hands on my knees. The green grass swam in my vision while I gulped the cool late summer air, and I could feel Krystal's hand on my shoulder. "Krystal, I made a huge mistake," I said, but before I could continue, a voice I'd dreaded hearing interrupted me.

"I'll say you did," Gina said from behind me. I spun on my heel, nearly falling on my ass. "You didn't call me at all in Detroit, Julian. Now, is that any way to treat the future mother of your child?"

W
hen I was
in sixth grade, I'd gotten into a fight with a boy in class soon after the 9/11 attacks. With me being half-Turkish, the sentiment against almost anyone of Middle Eastern descent at that time was suspicious, but this boy was worse than most. I forget what the exact trigger for the fight was, but we ended up in a full on brawl, I was so pissed off about something he had said or done. I'd like to say I kicked his ass, but this was before I started jiu-jitsu, and he hit me in the side of the head with our math textbook. The shot had left me stunned, the entire left side of my face in a numb fire, the whole world seemingly muffled and half heard.

That was what it felt like watching Gina walk across the back lawn of the manor. Part of me saw Yuki come running out of the back of the manor, stopping short and her hand coming up to cover her mouth when she saw that Gina was already talking. Meanwhile, Julian stood there looking like how I felt, like the whole world had just detonated and we were flying through space, waiting for the end to consume us.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Gina said, looking just at Julian. "Well, I guess you should have been a bit more careful before dumping that huge load inside me at the wedding reception. I found out about a month ago, and I'm due right in the middle of January or so."

"Julian?" I asked, looking at him. "Is Gina . . . what is she saying?"

One look in his eyes and I knew. I didn't need an answer. She was telling the truth, at least in terms of them having sex at the wedding reception. The world grew blurry, and I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces. "Julian . . . how could you?"

"Krystal, I'm sorry. I was coming to tell you but . . ." he said, but his response was cut short by my slap across his face. Gina watched this in total silence, realization dawning on her face, followed by an almost wicked smile as I turned to go inside the manor. I had to get the fuck out of there.

"Well, it looks like the princess has finally had to live in the same world as the rest of us," Gina said to my back as I stormed away. Julian stood there on the lawn, his cheek starting to turn red as I went up the stairs, not even going into his room but instead into what had been mine, flinging myself on the bed and screaming my tears until I couldn't make a sound any longer.

I don't know how long I stayed that way, but the next thing I heard was a knock at the door. "Julian, I swear to fucking Christ if that is you I am going to kill you!" I hoarsely screamed. "Get the fuck out you fucking bastard!"

"It's not Julian," Yuki said quietly, opening the door. "He left Krystal."

"Good. Fucking bastard! What the fuck?!?! First my aunt, now me? Is he trying to fuck my entire family?"

"That was his original plan, yes," Yuki said, sitting down on the chair next to my bed. She spent the next ten minutes telling me about the conversation she had with Julian in her office, including his original plan to have sex with as many women in my family as possible just to get at his father. "But he abandoned his plan."

"What? He seems to have moved on with it quite well, I'd say. Or did you miss the part where it's become common knowledge that he's fucked me three ways from Sunday?" I said, fresh tears streaming down my face. My sobs intensified, and I heard Yuki get up to pat my back. Another presence was in the room, and I turned my head to see Mom standing there. "Oh Mama . . ."

"Shhhh, it's all right," Mom said, coming over and hugging me. "I already sent Gina home, telling her she's not welcome here right now. Oh baby, if I'd known . . ."

"I suspect that Miss Aksoy wanted to surprise you with the knowledge," Yuki said quietly. "In some of the things she said after she became aware of Krystal and Julian's relationship, she sounded vindictive."

"Gina's never been the nicest of people, but she's never been like this before," Mom said. "Yuki, what's this about you knowing about Julian's actions?"

Yuki explained it again, starting from when Julian knocked on the door of her office. She ended it with Gina dropping her bombshell on the back lawn. "I know this is hard to believe, Sandra, but I believe him. Julian may have started with evil intentions, but he did truly fall in love with Krystal."

"And how would you know?" Mom replied. "Yuki, you are talking about one of the most deceitful, lying men I've ever known."

"I've known him longer, and spent more time with him than you have, no offense Sandra. I've seen him scheme, scam, and screw up time after time, each time walking away without a care in the world other than causing more trouble. And I also saw his face in my office today, and again on the back lawn. I know it seems strange, I know I sound crazy, but it is true. Julian fell in love with Krystal, and didn't mean to hurt her."

"Then why didn't he tell me?" I wailed, fresh tears coursing down my cheeks. "Why?"

Mom went to hug me again, while Yuki stood quietly in the middle of the room. When my sobs had calmed down again, she looked at me with tenderness and affection. "This may cost me my job at the manor Krystal, but I must say it. If you were in Julian's shoes, what would you have done? How many of your former lovers have you told him about?"

"Yuki, get out," Mom said. "I'll speak with my husband when he comes home, but consider yourself on two weeks notice."

Yuki nodded, a tear trickling down her cheek. "As you wish, Mrs. Castelbon. I shall be in my quarters if Mr. Castelbon wishes to contact me."

Yuki left, leaving just me and Mom. I cried some more, wiping at my cheeks, until I was hollowed out, my eyes burning and my face puffy. "Mama . . ."

"Shhh, it's okay baby," Mom said, holding me close again. "You relax, or at least try to. I'll talk with John; we'll take care of all this. We'll get through this somehow."

I stayed there, lying on my bed with my head in my mother's lap, until the sun went down, and the pain in my stomach was replaced by a deeper pain in the black space that was my heart.

I
knew
I shouldn't have been on the line. I'd just gotten back to Chicago the night before, hadn't slept in two days, and had barely eaten as well. I was bleary eyed, running on fumes, and my mind was not in the right place it needed to be to keep up with the pace and the pressure of the line at Alinea. I should have called off, regardless of whether Horst and Shannon would have been slightly upset or not.

Instead, there I was, in my whites, trying to work the meat station. Prep had gone okay, after all slicing six ounce steaks and tying strings around fillets is stuff even a child can do. Even the start of service wasn't too bad. While it was a Friday night, we were in a rare period where there wasn't much going on in Chicago. The Cubs and White Sox were on road trips, basketball hadn't started, and the Bears were still in the preseason. Most of the universities were still on summer vacation, and even the business cycle was down. Everyone was resting up before the push into fall.

Also working in my favor was the Alinea menu cycle. Shannon liked to change menus on the seasons, and we were still a few weeks out from the change from the summer menu to the fall menu. As such, most of our regulars had already eaten what we had to offer, and so the start of service was slow.