Addict Nation (42 page)
As you change, you’re likely to see everything around you change: your friends, your belongings, your social life, your goals, and your dreams. As they say of sobriety, the only thing that has to change is . . . everything.
Once an addictive behavior is given up, the recovering addict must always be alert to protect and guard their sobriety. The goal is to achieve and maintain constant serenity. This can be done by avoiding the state of HALT, something recovery programs recognize as a fast track to failure. HALT stands for Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired. If you are all of these—at once—you are likely to feel destabilized and your emotional sobriety is bound to dissolve to be replaced with anxiety, stress, resentment, and exhaustion. Eating right, sleeping enough, working through resentments by acknowledging your part in them, and avoiding isolation by making meaningful connections with other evolved people—these are the foundations of a balanced life.
Beyond Ego and Fear
The most crucial component of emotional sobriety is the surrender of ego and the acceptance and strengthening of what some people like to call God consciousness. The ego has always existed. Our ancestral cousins, the apes, display ego. And so do we. The problem is that we modern humans now have so many ways to indulge, bolster, and display our ego that the manifestations of our narcissism are threatening to destroy our physical world. From the big ticket items—houses, cars, boats—to the never-ending supply of disposable trinkets, toys, and conveniences (and everything they come wrapped in), we are now in danger of literally drowning in the debris of our insatiable desires.
In
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,
Eckhart Tolle brilliantly explains why we’ve become addicted to consumption, which he calls an insatiable hunger.
“Having
—the concept of ownership— is a fiction created by the ego to give itself solidity and permanency and make itself stand out, make itself special . . . No ego can last for long without the need for more. Therefore, wanting keeps the ego alive much more than having . . . And so the shallow satisfaction of having is always replaced by more wanting. This is the psychological need for more, that is to say, more things to identify with. It is an addictive need, not an authentic one.”
3
It stands to reason that, when you finally know who you are and feel that you
are
enough, you will no longer need to use
things
to solidify your identity and you will feel that you
have
enough.
I wrestle with my ego as much, or more, than the next person. There’s a reason I’ve been on television for most of my life. I like to be seen and I like to hear myself talk. Here’s a confession: when I’m alone, I often talk to myself. To my great embarrassment, I’ve been overheard giving speeches in the bathroom.
EGO: Edging God Out
I also struggle with overconsumption and, like most consumers, find myself lusting after shiny objects. But the other day, I had what I consider a breakthrough. I saw a beautiful luxury car on the street. It was painted an enticing baby blue and just glimmered. My first thought was,
Oh, I’d love to have that car.
But then I caught myself and wondered,
Why did I just have the urge to possess the car, as opposed
to just appreciating its beauty in and of itself?
After all, I live in Manhattan and don’t even need a car. Ego, of course. My ego desired to devour that car and make it part of my identity to bolster my sense of self. Some reptilian part of my mind calculated: Jane plus nice car is better than just Jane. But then I said, “No, that’s not true. The shiny, blue car is not going to make me any better.”
The moment I had this realization I suddenly became aware of another part of me that felt larger than my ego-based identity. It was as if I was invisible and melded into the sky, observing the visible Jane down on the street. This larger part of me decided to just stare at the car and appreciate its sleek design and polished chrome and try to let go of my ego’s desire to own it. For a few moments, I felt freedom from what I would call “little Jane” and felt the presence of “big Jane.” And then a dichotomy emerged. I got this marvelous feeling that the entire world was mine and everything in it belonged to me. Therefore, there was no need to technically “own” anything that I didn’t genuinely need. Put another way, I recognized within myself what you could call God consciousness. God consciousness is very hard to hold on to, but I keep trying. It’s like free falling, exhilarating once you get over your fear.
A Life of Service
So what’s the ultimate alternative to an egocentric/addict-centric life? When we finally get the meaninglessness of endless acquisition, when we finally understand the tired cliché “You can’t take it with you,” then we look around and say, “Well, now what am I going to do with my money, my time, and my energy?” Thankfully, there are millions of things that need doing. You don’t have to become a full-fledged activist to have a life of purpose. You can simply be of service to another person or creature in need. You can visit an isolated senior citizen, foster a neglected child, or exercise the dogs at the local shelter. Tithing a set portion of your income is an admirable way to purposefully direct those disposable dollars that used to go into a gaudy decoration or another outfit you don’t really need. For the cost of a cheap suit, you can enable doctors with Smile Train to repair a child’s disfiguring cleft lip and change someone’s life forever.
What would our society look like if we all became willing to transcend our materialistic values? What would our culture look like if we all evolved beyond our most hideous ego-based compulsions? It would be a completely transformed society: less focused on pride and fear and more focused on self-knowledge and caring for each other. It would be a society less interested in hate and war and more interested in love and peace, a society less inclined to ugliness and more to beauty. It would be a world less focused on punishment and more adept at preventing crime. It would be a culture with more “matriarchal” values, like compassion, protection, forgiveness, and unconditional love. We’d all enjoy a much more serene lifestyle.
Addiction brings out the worst in us. When we finally give it up, we experience a new, natural high as we’re freed from the bondage of craving. Some call it a fourth dimension.
Together, we can evolve. The promise of cultural sobriety is a safer, more peaceful America that will give all of us a better shot at the pursuit of happiness.
Before we can achieve a peaceful, joyous world, we first have to imagine it.
Introduction
1 “Bet You Can’t Eat Just One,”
The Atlantic
, March 29, 2010,
http://www.theatlantic.com/food/archive/2010/03/bet-you-cant-eat-just-one/38181/
.
2 See “1,000,000,000 Live in Chronic Hunger and I’m Mad as Hell,” Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations,
http://www.fao.org
.
3 On war profiteering, see “The SIPRI Top 100 arms-producing companies, 2008,” Sipri.org.,
http://www.sipri.org/research/armaments/production/Top100
; “Top 100 Defense Contractors,”
GovernmentExecutive.com
, August 15, 2007,
http://www.govexec.com/features/0807-15/0807-15s3s1.htm
; and Adam Levine, “Halliburton, KBR sued for alleged ill effects of ‘burn pits,’” CNN, April 28, 2009,
http://www.cnn.com/ 2009/US/04/28/burn.pits/index.html
.
Chapter 1: The Stuffers
1 Robert Frank, “Millionaire Says Money ‘Prevents Happiness,’”
Wall Street Journal
, February 9, 2010,
http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2010/02/09/millionaire-says-money-prevents-happiness
/.
2 Eviana Hartman, “Wrapping Paper: Using It Is Bad, Burning It Is Worse,”
Washington
Post
, November 23, 2008,
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/20/AR2008112003358.html
; and Waste Facts and Figures, Clean Air Council,
http://www.cleanair.org/Waste/wasteFacts.html
.
3 “Tops in 2008: Most Popular Consumer Goods,” NielsenWire, December 18, 2008,
http://blog.nielsen.com/nielsenwire/consumer/tops-in-2008-most-popular-consumer-goods
.
4 Packaging on Seventh Generation brown paper towels, accessed on Facebook,
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=16518050343
.
5 Amy Cassara, “Ask EarthTrends: How Much of the World’s Resource Consumption Occurs in Rich Countries?” blog entry, World Resources Institute: EarthTrends, August 31, 2007,
http://earthtrends.wri.org/updates/node/236
.
6 Nancy Gibbs, “One Day in America,”
Time
, November 15, 2007,
http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1674995_1683300,00.html
.
7 Anxiety Disorders Center: Compulsive Hoarding, Hartford Hospital,
http://www.harthosp.org/InstituteOfLiving/AnxietyDisordersCenter/CompulsiveHoarding/default.aspx#Q
A.
8 See
Hoarders
on A&E TV (
http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/about
/) and
Hoarding: Buried
Alive
, on TLC network (
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/hoarding-buried-alive
/).
9 Oskar Garcia, “Body of Las Vegas woman found in clutter at home,”
Associated Press,
August 27, 2010,
http://www.fox12idaho.com/Global/story.asp?s=13055966&clienttype=printable
.
10 Bureau of Economic Analysis National Economic Accounts, U.S. Department of Commerce, June 2010,
http://www.bea.gov/newsreleases/national/pi/pinewsrelease.htm
.
11 Louise Story, “Home Equity Frenzy Was a Bank Ad Come True,”
New York Times
, August 14, 2008,
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/15/business/15sell.html?_r=1
.
12 Ellen Bowman, “Where All the Retirees Are Above Average,” The Motley Fool,
http://www.fool.com/personal-finance/retirement/2007/04/19/where-all-the-retirees-are-above-average.aspx
.
13 Martin Lindstrom,
Buy•ology: The Truth and Lies about Why We Buy
(New York: Crown Business, 2010), 20.
14 Ibid., back cover.
15 Ibid., 11.
16 Ibid., 32.
17 Anup Shah, “Poverty Facts and Stats,” Global Issues, March 28, 2010 (updated September 20, 2010),
http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats
.
18 Paco Underhill,
Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping: Updated and Revised for the Internet,
the Global Consumer, and Beyond
(New York: Simon and Schuster, 2008), 24.
19 Ibid.
20 Enoughism.org,
http://www.enoughism.org
/; and see “enoughism,” Wikipedia,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enoughism
.
21 Sloan, “What’s Still Wrong with Wall Street,”
Time
, November 9, 2009.
22 Intentionally omitted.
23 Annie Leonard,
The Story of Stuff: How Our Obsession with Stuff Is Trashing the Planet, Our
Communities, and Our Health—and a Vision for Change
(New York: Free Press, 2010), 99.
24 Ian Urbina, “BP Used Riskier Method to Seal Well Before Blast,”
New York Times
, May 26, 2010,
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/27/us/27rig.html
.
25 CNN Wire Staff, “Oil inspectors took company gifts, watchdog group finds,” CNN online (U.S. edition), May 25, 2010,
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/25/oil.spill.interior/index.html
.
26 Charlie Savage, “Sex, Drug Use and Graft Cited in Interior Department,”
New York Times
, September 10, 2008,
http://topics.nytimes.com/topics/reference/timestopics/people/s/charlie_savage/index.html
, accessed May 25, 2010.
27 “Everyday Uses of Oil,” Paleontological Research Institution,
http://www.priweb.org/ed/pgws/uses/plastic.html
.
28 Brian Handwerk, “Giant Ocean-Trash Vortex Attracts Explorers,”
National Geographic
online, July 31, 2009,
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/07/090731-ocean-trash-pacific.html
.
29 Tim Jackson,
Prosperity Without Growth: Economics for a Finite Planet
(London: Earthscan Publications, 2009), 184.
30 Anup Shah, “Poverty Facts and Stats,” Global Issues, March 28, 2010 (updated September 20, 2010),
http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats
.
Chapter 2: The Pharmers
