Adapting Desires (Endangered Heart Series Book 3) (16 page)

From the corner of her eye, the manor still burned, and if Kasper died, Emilia knew she would have wanted to be right there inside of it.

Chapter 14

Before anything else there was the beeping. Incessant and overwhelming, it was difficult to pinpoint the exact source of the noise. He attempted to locate the source, but was ultimately unsuccessful. Still, despite this frustration, there was something else that plagued his mind, something lingering just on the edge of his memory…

Emilia!

Where was she? Was she safe? Had she been injured in the fire? Was she on a slab in the morgue? Within an instant, his mind was flooded with the possibilities but couldn’t decide the conclusions. Only now did he start to become aware of the darkness that invaded his vision, of the inky black he seemed to be submerged in. Terrified, he tried to call out, but failed. After several attempts, he tried a different tactic, and when his efforts to move also failed, Kasper considered that perhaps he had died in the fire.

Perhaps he was in hell.

The mere thought was hardly surprising as he had always expected to end up there. Still, in all of his imagination, he had never anticipated the feeling to be so frightening, so downright horrific. Ironically, the more he contemplated it, the more intense the wretched beeping became, sending his mind into a frenzy of pain.

As intense as the hurt was though, Kasper could not help but become aware of the sound of voices. Combined with the shuffling of feet, it was now obvious to him that he was not alone.

“Mr. Zafar? Can you hear me, sir?”

Once again, Kasper tried to blink, this time at least moderately successful. Blurbs of gray contorted his vision, and his eyeballs stung with the onset of oxygen and light. He closed his eyes and tried again, and this time the blurbs of gray took the vague shapes of human beings.

Unfortunately, none of them resembled Emilia.

Even with this terrible knowledge, Kasper did not completely lose hope. Frantic, he tried to pull away from the cold fingers on his arms. As though they were made of Velcro, every attempt to blink felt as though his eyelids were being peeled from the lashes. For every second he kept them open, his stinging eyes felt increasingly worse. Regardless, the blurry human shapes began to sharpen to the point that he could make out a woman in nursing scrubs and two men in white coats. He tried to look beyond them, but still could see no Emilia.

“Hello, Mr. Zafar,” one of the bodies said. “I understand you’re very lucky.”

This time, Kasper did not struggle at the feel of something tight and plastic being taken off his face—the odds of him being in hell were growing steadily less likely. “Can you tell me how you feel on a scale from one to ten?” one of the white coats asked. “Just use your fingers to communicate your pain level.”

Pain
? What did his pain matter when Emilia’s fate went unanswered? With a dry and scorched throat, he found himself unable to ask. Maybe this would be hell then? Always wondering if his wife was alive or not and never knowing?

“Do not try to speak. You had to be intubated and your vocal cords are probably still swollen.” Aasif emerged from the corner slowly. Even with his disoriented eyesight, Kasper could clearly see the concern on his friend’s face.

Kasper shook his head despite the ache it caused him. One of the white coats was conversing with the nurse while the other white coat placed his attention to his beeper. Kasper would scream at them all if he could have, but the only alternative was to clench his fists and listen to the wretched beeping.

“Other than a lack of sleep, she is perfectly fine,” Aasif said, as if reading his mind. “If you get yourself worked up, they’ll sedate you”

No
, Kasper thought. None of that sounded right at all. If Emilia was all right, if she was safe, sound, and unharmed, then why wasn’t she with him?

“Em—” Sure enough, his effort to speak resulted in an immense amount of pain. He shuddered and closed his eyes, failing to subdue the haze of red that crashed inside his eyes.

Impatient, the remaining white coat put down his clipboard and spoke louder. “
Sir
, are you in any pain?”

Of course he was. Without Emilia he would always be in pain.

The thought alone inspired him to try to sit up. Instantly, he realized that more than an IV kept him tethered. He blinked hard and forced himself to reach for the plastic device attached to his face. Thick plastic straps assured it was fastened far beyond his reach, and he cursed to himself over and over.

“It’s an oxygen mask. Please don’t attempt to remove it.” The white coat opened his mouth to say more, but the sound of an alarm going off over the intercom pulled him and the nurse away. Kasper was immediately grateful to whoever it was dying down the hall, the mere absence of two strangers had him feeling absurdly better.

“You really need to calm down.” Aasif sighed and pulled a chair to Kasper’s bedside. “The fire marshal hasn’t concluded his report yet, but he and his team seem quite sure the fire is the result of arson. Needless to say,
every
precaution has been arranged.”

Kasper squirmed with discomfort and raised his heavy hands closer to his face. They were swollen but otherwise fine. A large thermal blanket covered his body as far as his sight would allow, but from what he could tell, he only had some mild first-degree burns on his arms and neck. The most selfish parts of him wanted to sigh in relief, but the majority of him still begged for answers.

“Where…she?” he managed to say.

Aasif sank into the chair and smiled freely. “Mrs. Levkin nearly dragged her out of here about an hour ago. It was her last attempt before slipping some Ambien into her tea and making her go to the hotel for a proper sleep.” The attorney laughed lightly to himself before yawning casually. “Apparently Emilia only agreed to go for a respectable shower and change of clothing, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs. Levkin slipped her something anyway.”

It sounded logical enough, but without definitive proof, without her hand in his, Kasper remained unsure. In a powerless body, he was forced to try and believe the answer.

Aasif continued talking. “I have already been in communication with the insurance company and the police. Iram is still technically a crime scene, but as long as the police are present they are allowing Mr. Rivas to look for anything salvageable.”

Kasper rolled his eyes. “Don’t. Care.”

“I must say, you are far more pleasant to be around when you are prevented from speaking.” Aasif laughed lightly before continuing with his explanation. Kasper closed his eyes, hoping that Aasif would think he was trying to absorb it all. But in reality, Kasper lacked the ability to think or want anything else but Emilia.

Surprisingly, the world faded away easily, tinted by dreams of Emilia and images he couldn’t quite reach. His body was absent from the rest of him, his limbs stuck beneath a sea of something dark and deep. Every now and then Kasper would try to make them cooperate, but failed time and time again. Amazingly, after all his attempts, the only thing that finally did get through was the sound of her voice.

“They told me you ran into the fire.”

Emilia! She was alive and well, but more than that, she was right there with him, the smell of her perfume and the soft tone of her voice unmistakable. Kasper implored his limbs and senses to work overtime, but like so many other times in his life, his body failed him.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, sniffing. “Don’t you know you could have died? The doctors say you should be all right, but I—I won’t be able to believe it until you wake up and talk to me. Oh, Kasper, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never buy another Christmas tree again, I’ll curse poinsettias until the day I die, just be okay. Please?”

With a final leap, he hurled himself into consciousness, flinching at the invasion of bright hospital lights on his sensitive eyes.

“Kasper!” As before, the image of her was blurry and gray. Still, she was the most beautiful thing he had seen in a long time. “I’m sorry.” She laughed nervously and made a movement across the room he couldn’t identify. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I mean, I’m happy that you’re awake, obviously.” As his eyes focused, Kasper watched her wipe her face with a fresh tissue. In spite of how swollen and red they looked, Kasper couldn’t help but stare into them.

“I am glad it was you,” his attempt at a smile turned into a grimace, “who woke me.”
At least they took that damn oxygen mask off
, he thought. Now, however, large uncomfortable tubes had been placed inside of his nose, spilling air into his system. Newly motivated by the sight of his bride, Kasper reached for them easily, resisting the urge to pull them away when he saw Emilia frown.

“Aasif said you were awake a little while ago, but I didn’t believe him.”

Kasper struggled to sit up, reaching for the plastic cup of water on the shelf, the taste of it not unlike liquid char when it slid down his throat. Regardless, he felt considerably better.

“Are you all right?” he croaked with his new found strength. “W-Where were you?”

Frowning, she put a finger to his lips to silence him. “I took Nefertiti riding. I didn’t even know what was happening until after I smelled the smoke.”

His expression immediately relaxed. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” Emilia smiled, and the entire room seemed to light up. Why should she have been surprised that his focus remained solely on her? At any rate, her smile did not last for long. “Did Aasif explain to you what happened?”

Kasper shook his head. Even if he had, the details had been lost on him.

“I—I think it’s better to tell you this while you’re,” she smiled nervously and gestured to his body, “incapacitated.” Kasper watched her every move as she struggled to find the words, the twiddling of her thumbs to the way she bit her lip making him feel a form of gratitude he was sure he had yet to experience. Several times over the years, Kasper had put both of their lives in danger, and somehow they were alive, moving, and still in love.

It was nothing short of a miracle.

“Cyrus was desperate, out of money, completely obsessed with getting
revenge
on us,” Emilia scoffed and used air quotes for emphasis. “H-He tracked down my mother.”

The incessant beeping increased tenfold and Kasper saw red. “
What
?”

Emilia nodded, glancing at the machine at his side before resting her hand on his leg. “Apparently cutting the brakes on your car was her idea. Can you believe it? The woman can’t manage a checkbook but she thinks she can be some criminal mastermind?

For the briefest of moments, Kasper was amused by Emilia’s obvious anger. When he realized just how much this revelation disturbed her though, he placed his hand on top of hers and tried to focus.

“How do you know?” he asked

“Frankford has friends at the police station. They let him sit in on the interrogation. It only took twenty minutes before my mother told them everything. Cyrus told her that with you gone, I would inherit everything and could pay off her debts. Obviously, Cyrus would get what he wanted…”

Kasper cringed at the repeated use of his enemy’s name, but miraculously managed to hold it together. He clicked his jaw against the sound of the machine that he now realized was monitoring his heart rate until it slowed to a normal rate.

“Where—?”

“Back in prison,” she said hurriedly. “Maximum security this time. Solitary confinement.”

Of course Kasper knew that wouldn’t be an efficient long-term solution, but considering he could barely sit up, now was not the ideal time to make the necessary phone calls that would end his cousin.

“He started the fire,” Emilia continued quietly. “Surveillance cameras got him buying gasoline on Christmas Eve. Between the Christmas tree, curtains, and books—”

Kasper threw his hands up in a mock explosion. “Poof.”

“Apparently poinsettias are also very flammable. I swear I’ll never buy them again! I’ll never even look at one! I’m so sorry, Kasper. You were right about everything.”

“No,” he insisted. “Not everything.”

Kasper smiled at the look of confusion on her face, admiring it greatly prior to reminding himself how essential it was to get his feelings out before he lost his nerve to do so. “When I was in the fire—”

Emilia flinched at the mere mention of it, but Kasper only tightened his hold on her hand and caressed the inside of her wrist with his thumb. “When I was in the fire, I had somewhat of a revelation. I realized my efforts to protect you were a means to an end. If you don’t have a life of your own, then it won’t matter how much I love you. You’ve sacrificed more for me—”

Her eyes went wide. “You’ve sacrificed for me too, Kasper! I’m not oblivious to that.”

Kasper shook his head as if he hadn’t heard her at all. “I’ll never be the person you deserve. I doubt I’ll ever be outgoing with strangers or good at social events, but I’m willing to try—with or without improved looks.”

“You don’t need to do that, Kasper. I love and accept you just the way you are.”

“Yes,” he said, smiling. “But someday you might want more, and I can’t risk that.”