AD-versaries (6 page)

14

            “You idiot!  How could you blow the most important sales meeting of your life?  They don’t come much dumber than you, my friend.”

            Neville often spoke to himself to help work things out in his own mind.  Talking to himself was therapeutic, and relaxing.  It helped to verbally put it all on the table and sift through things that way.  It wasn’t very often, however, that he would berate himself.  In fact, it had never happened before.  His ego wouldn’t allow such behavior.  But this was different.  He didn’t know what else to do.  Pacing helped some, but the insults, even though aimed at himself, seemed to help more.  After all, he deserved it. 

            It’s a good thing the front door was unlocked.  Sammy didn’t knock and if it had been locked, he would have plowed right through, leaving the door in tatters behind him.  Neville had called Sammy nearly twenty minutes ago and was surprised that it had taken him this long to get over there.  Sammy was irate at the situation.  For an administrative assistant, he took every job personally, and, consequently, every failure as an affront to himself. 

            “I can’t believe you let this slip through your fingers like this.”

            “What, no hello?”

            Sammy was not amused.

            “Tell me what he said.  Why did he dismiss you?”

            “He said I wasn’t being personal enough.”

            “What?  Did you act personally interested?  Did you talk to him like a person, or just another client?”

            “I don’t know.  I just did my pitch like normal.”

            “Wow, you really are dumb.”

            “Hey.  You still work for me, remember.”

            “Not if you blow this account.  We’ll both be out on our rumps if we don’t find some way to salvage this.”

            “I don’t think there’s much hope of that.”

            “There’s a way.  There’s always a way.  We just need to think.”

            Both men plopped down on the couch.  Each was incredibly exhausted from the emotional expenditure it took to be so mad and so dejected.  Racking their brains, nothing came to them.  Sammy and Neville both liked to express their thoughts verbally, but neither spoke. 

            Then Sammy said, “Look, you need to attack this differently than a normal sales pitch.  You need to be more relatable.  He didn’t come to you, you went to him.  So you need to meet him on his terms.”

            “Ok.  Well how do I do that?  Just wait for his call and beg him to hear me out?  Beg him to take me back?”

            “No.  The damage is done now.  I think we need to do something a bit more drastic than begging.”

            “What’d you have in mind?”

            “You’re not going to like it.”

            “Oh no.  I’m not gonna let you do something to sabotage Victoria.  I think I’m falling in love with her and I don’t want to jeopardize that.”

            “But you’re gonna jeopardize your job?  Come on, man.  Are you really willing to risk everything for a girl?”

            “Yes.  Yes I am.”

            They both sat in silence again, neither one knowing which way to go next.  Neville wasn’t going to do anything to risk losing Victoria.  He had waited so long to find someone.  There was no way he was going to let an ambitious fool talk him out of his chance at love.  Then Sammy sat straight like he was just struck by lightning and his body went into a state of rigor. 

            “I’ve got it,” he whispered.

            “Got what?”

            “Me.”

            “I don’t follow.”

            “I’m the answer to this whole stupid situation.”

            “Still not with ya, buddy.  Want to clarify that a bit?”

            “You don’t want to lose Victoria by doing something to make her lose the account, right?”

            “Right.”

            “So, what if I do it?”

            “Do what?”

            “Anything.”

            Neville was skeptical, but Sammy could tell by his expression that he was at least receptive to the idea.  So he continued.

            “Check it out, Neville.  If I do something, say…to keep her from her appointment tomorrow at the country club, then you can take her place, claiming that you just happened to be playing a round at that particular club.  She won’t have any idea that you were even there and Niroki will count it as some kind of omen that you were there.”

            “I don’t know, Sammy.  What if she finds out.”

            “There’s no way that she will.”

            “How can you guarantee that?”

            “You’re just going to have to trust me.  I have an idea that can’t lose.”

15

            Victoria could not have been more excited if she was a ten-year-old girl on Christmas Eve who had just caught Santa in the act of leaving her the greatest presents ever and then offered her a bonus gift to forget she ever saw him.  She didn’t know a thing about golf, but after looking at some great golfers on YouTube, she went down to a local pro shop and charged up a couple of items that she thought would be great.  She headed over to the full-length mirror to admire her ensemble. 

            Her checked knickers were neatly tucked into argyle knee socks.  A black polo shirt hung loosely from her torso and she finished the outfit with a tam o’shanter cap.  She thought she looked a little silly, but it was what she saw in the video and she wanted to look as professional as possible for Mr. Niroki.  He already knew that she wouldn’t be able to play well, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t look the part.

            Satisfied that she was as put together as possible, she left her apartment and headed for the staircase at the end of the hallway.  She always liked taking the stairs in lieu of the elevator.  After all, it was the small things like taking the stairs that helped keep her young and stress-free.  Life was too difficult to let stress pile up to the point of bursting.  If a day was particularly stressful, she would run up the stairs and back down again, as many times as it took to sweat the stress right out of her.  She had taken Karate a few months ago, but after getting overwhelmed at work one night, and the dojo being closed, she found the joy of the stairs.  There was something almost magical about the results of thirty or forty minutes running on the stairs. 

But that day, she was not running to relieve some daily stresses, she was running from shear excitement.  She couldn’t wait to get to the country club and meet with Niroki.  He had been such a joy to talk with in his office the previous day.  He seemed almost delighted that she was talking like a bumbling idiot.  After he poured her a cup of tea, he told her a charming story about his daughter.  She still lived in Japan and was married to an upstanding man who ran a restaurant.  His eyes got a little misty when he retold the story of her wedding day and how beautiful she had looked. 

            After that, she felt a kinship to Niroki, and she was sure that he saw a little of his daughter in her, the thought of which filled her with such a sense of humility and honor that she couldn’t wait to see him again and show how appreciative she was of his kindness. 

            Walking out the door, she turned to her right and pressed the button on her key fob.  Her car made a light chirp that let her know it was unlocked and ready for her.

***

            If Neville knew what he was up to, he would fire him for sure.  Sammy crouched down beside the staircase that led to the front door of Victoria’s apartment.  Neville had given him permission to stall Victoria, but Sammy planned to mug her.  Not actually mug her, but convince her to hand over her keys and leave her stranded.  She would never make it to the country club, fifteen miles away, in time to see Neville stealing Niroki out from under her.  He had never committed a crime before and therefore had no idea what to wear for the occasion.  Not wanting to be recognized, he donned a black ski mask.  The only other all-black clothes he had were a pair of sweat pants and a spandex biking shirt.  He was sure that he looked ridiculous, but he was fine with that, hoping that the silliness of his appearance would lend credence to the fact that he was a crazed maniac that should be heeded and not fought back against.

            The door above him opened.  He heard the faint chirp of a car unlocking on the other side of the stairs.  He ventured a peek and saw what appeared to be a weird cross between Payne Stewart and a newsboy from the New York of a hundred years in the past.  But it was still her. 

Not wanting her to make it to her car, he ran at her as fast as he could, colliding with her a bit harder than he had intended.  The force of the blow disorients her and surprises him.  He backs off for a moment and then demands her purse and keys.  She raised her keys, but not to give them to him.  She pointed the little container of mace directly at his exposed eyes and pressed down on the top. 

He had never felt so much pain.  His eyes watered uncontrollably, and when he opened his mouth to scream, another stream of mace landed on his tongue.  A gust of wind redirected the mace back into the face of his attacker.  Sammy seized the moment and went back on the offensive.  He grabbed the keys from Victoria and stood back for a moment to relish his victory.  He still couldn’t see through the deluge of tears pouring from his eyes.  Victoria was still impaired as well, but not impaired enough to miss her mark when she swung her foot up.  It landed right between his thighs, doubling him over in pain. 

It took everything he had to remain upright.  Wincing against the pain, he could see that Victoria was leaning against the car, trying to rub the mace from her own eyes.  If he was going to get away, that was the moment.  Holding tightly to the keys, he hobbled off down the road.  In his mind, victory had been his.  But to the rest of his body, he was leaving the undisputed looser.

16

Neville grabbed his golf clubs from the trunk of his car and ran towards the first hole.  Mr. Niroki was already there, swinging his driver back and forth, trying to loosen up his shoulders. 

“Hey, Mr. Niroki.  I made it!”  Everyone turned to look at him with wonderment.  “Alright, we ready to get started?”

“Mr. Neville.  What a surprise.  I was expecting Ms. Gaccion.”

“Yes.  Well…She wasn’t able to make it today, so I came in her place.”

“You two…are…working together?”  There was something in his voice, or maybe it was just his thick Japanese accent that seemed to have already figured out what Neville was up to.  But Neville stayed the course and stuck to his plan. 

“We are.  Uh…You see, her firm was struggling so much that PMZ offered to buy them out, but only if we were able to retain Victoria.  After all, she is an amazing ad exec.”

“That she is.  I’m just a little surprised that she would sell out.”

“Oh…Well…”

A woman’s voice came over the intercom:
Niroki twosome, you’re up on the first hole.
 

“You heard the lady.  Mr. Niroki, would you do the honors?”

Niroki, still eyeing Neville, placed his ball on the tee and smacked it with his driver.  Neville’s eyes widened as the shot flew straight and true, landing dead center in the fairway.  Neville enjoyed golf, but he was no pro, and he just got the unmistakable feeling that he was playing way out of his league.  Still undeterred, he teed up and gave it a swing.  His ball didn’t go as straight as Niroki’s, nor as far, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. 

Such were the events of the first nine holes.  Niroki didn’t seem to be able to make a bad shot.  His poise was unshakable.  Every tee shot landed in the fairway, far beyond Neville’s.  Although he must have been irritated at having to wait for Neville to shoot twice for every one of his own, Mr. Niroki showed the patience of a teacher gently waiting for his pupil to catch up. 

Neville was much more talented at golf than he was able to show on that day.  It wasn’t his nerves or that fact that he hardly took a breath between shots as he talked non-stop about the benefits of advertising with him
and Victoria
.  But his conscience was stabbing at his brain, injecting doses of guilt that threatened to completely undo him.  It was not an extraordinarily hot day, but Neville sweat through his under-shirt and designer polo, looking more like he had just finished swimming laps fully clothed instead of playing a round of golf.

As Mr. Niroki gently tapped in his final put on the ninth hole, he stepped aside as Neville’s ball soared through the air and landed with a gentle
thud
on the short green grass surrounding the hole.  Seconds later, he ran up the gentle slope, his bag slung over his shoulder.  He trotted all the way over to Mr. Niroki and tossed his bags down, doubling over; he put his hands on his hips and tried to catch his breath. 

“Are you ok, Mr. Pearson?”

“Yeah…Great…Just getting…A good workout.”

“Perhaps we should be done now.”

“No, no.  Just let me knock this putt in.  Give me two seconds.  I’ll be right back.”

He pulled his putter from his bag and headed over to his ball.  His strokes were no smooth and well-calculated, but jerky and hurried.  As a result, where three putts would have sufficed, he put it in the hole in five. 

“Alright.  Now we can go.  After you, Mr. Niroki.”

Mr. Niroki led the way while Neville followed a few steps behind, trying desperately to find his breathe once again.  The trip up to the clubhouse and parking lot was a short one from the flag on the ninth, and as soon as he arrived, Mr. Niroki went to his car and opened the trunk.  Neville came up behind him to try and close the deal, to save the disaster that was his day.  As Mr. Niroki bent over to remove his golfing shoes, a figure appeared at the entrance to the parking lot and then stops and stares at the scene in front of her.  Neville sees her and stops in his tracks. 

Victoria looked as if she was carried away by a pterodactyl and had to crawl her way out of the monster’s nest.  Her hair was matted with sweat and a couple of twigs protruded from her head.  The walk from the city was a long, hot one, and it had clearly taken its toll on Victoria.  But it wasn’t the dirt on her face or the shabby way her shirt hung down over her ill-advised knickers that disturbed Neville the most.  It was the look of shock and disappointment that crossed her face.  She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

Neville knew he had to go and smooth things out.  Forgetting all about Niroki, he started over to where she was.  But it was too late.  A tear rolled down her cheek as she turned to leave.  A knot formed in his stomach as he realized what had just happened.  She knew.  He had no idea what Sammy had done to delay her, but she knew it was him behind it all.  His worst fear had happened and he had lost the one girl who had the best chance at making him happy.  She knew.