Act of Will (24 page)

Audra’s mouth tightened in annoyance. ‘I’m not planning on having children just
yet
, Mrs Crowther. What I would like to do is to return to nursing but that’s another problem between us, because Vincent won’t hear of me working.’

Eliza was aghast. ‘I should think he won’t!’ she exclaimed in a horrified voice, ‘how could you ever suggest such a thing to him? It would make him feel
small
, much
less
of a man, if his wife went out to work. Whatever would people think? And what would his mates say?’

‘I don’t know and I don’t care! Furthermore, we could really use the money I’d be earning as a nurse,’ Audra shot back, unable to suppress her irritation any longer. ‘Vincent and I had the worst quarrel we’ve ever had last night, it was very nasty really, almost violent. And it was about
money
. ‘I’ve discovered that we’re in serious debt, yes,
deeply
in debt, Mrs Crowther, and it’s Vincent’s fault, not
mine
, so don’t look so disapprovingly at
me
. He went off and bought things on hire purchase at Wigfalls in Leeds without telling me. He had no right to do that.’

‘What things?’

‘The leather sofa, the wardrobe and the bed.’

‘And why are you acting so surprised? You knew you had those things, they’re in your home, lass, aren’t they?’

‘Yes, but I didn’t know he’d bought them on hire purchase, I thought he’d paid for them outright, paid cash. And the reason I know he didn’t do so is because Vincent has missed some payments, and Wigfalls have written a nasty letter, which I opened when it came in the post yesterday. And apparently it’s not the first letter they’ve sent him either.’ Audra shook her head, her expression baffled. ‘We need the money so badly and yet Vincent goes out drinking and gambling as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. And he refuses to let me go back to nursing. It doesn’t make sense… his pride gets in the way of everything, and that’s very stupid of him.’

‘I’m sure there’s a right good explanation why he missed a payment,’ Eliza replied, instantly defending her favourite child, her Stormy Petrel. ‘Vincent has money in the bank, I know that for a fact.’

‘No, he doesn’t, Mrs Crowther. He spent his savings on new clothes for the wedding, our honeymoon in Robin Hood’s Bay and on other things for the cottage. I offered him my savings, and I said I would willingly sell a piece
of my mother’s jewellery to help clear up our debts, but he won’t let me do anything to help.’

‘That’s because he doesn’t need your help,’ Eliza exclaimed huffily. ‘He probably has a nest egg tucked away somewhere, and knowing my son he’ll only get angrier if you try to cut the legs out from under him. Let
him
deal with these matters, Audra, in his own way, and don’t interfere. He
is
the man of the house, after all.’ Eliza’s eyes narrowed slightly, and she went on in a sterner voice, ‘Anyway, I’m sure you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, it’s usually six of one and half a dozen of another in any marriage, and yours can’t be much different from anybody else’s. At least he’s not chasing after other women, and you ought to be grateful for
that
. Take my advice, try a bit harder, try to understand Vincent better.’

Audra stared at her mother-in-law in utter astonishment. The woman was apparently blaming her for all of their troubles and exonerating Vincent completely. She felt suddenly defeated, worn down and totally misunderstood. ‘I
have
tried… I know you don’t like me, but I’m not a bad person—’ Audra’s mouth trembled and she turned her head to one side as scalding tears stung the back of her eyes.

Eliza, startled by this statement, exclaimed, ‘Nay, Audra lass, don’t say a thing like that! I
do
like you, I always have, and I think you’re a fine young woman.’

‘
Do you
?’ Audra swallowed down the incipient tears. ‘But you haven’t acted as if you like me, really you haven’t, Mrs Crowther. You didn’t want us to get married, did you?’ Audra asked, stabbing in the dark now.

‘No, that’s true, I didn’t,’ Eliza admitted quietly. ‘But only because you’re from a different world to us. I was convinced you and our Vincent would end up wanting different things in life, and I wasn’t so far wrong was I?’

Audra bit her lip. ‘I don’t know, I’m a little confused.’

Eliza nodded. ‘Aye, you are, and that’s why you shouldn’t be doing owt hasty, like leaving Vincent.’

‘But if you feel our marriage won’t work, why do you want me to stay with him?’

‘We’re respectable people, and one divorce in this family is enough,’ Eliza muttered and looked through the corner of her eye at Laurette. She cleared her throat. ‘Marry in haste, repent at leisure, that’s what I told our Vincent. But he wouldn’t listen, and I don’t suppose you did either, to your friends, I mean. Well, there we are, the two of you have made your bed so you must lie in it, regardless of whether the mattress is lumpy or not.’ Leaning forward, giving Audra a sharper look, she finished, ‘It’s always the woman who makes a marriage work, never the man. Just you be remembering that, lass.’

‘But that’s not fair!’ Audra cried, her indignation surfacing.

Eliza laughed hollowly. ‘Whoever said a woman’s life was fair? Certainly not women from my walk of life, at any rate.’ She laughed again, shaking her head. ‘Anyway, Audra, I expect things’ll get better between you and Vincent once the babies start coming along and you have the little ones to love and look after.’

‘But I want to do something more with my life, to achieve things, and I want to be happy—’

‘
Happy
,’ Eliza spluttered, looking at Audra as if she had uttered an obscenity. ‘That’s a word you’d better erase from your vocabulary, my girl, and right sharpish. Just you be thankful you’ve got a roof over your head, food in your stomach and a good husband to provide for you. Happiness is not for the likes of us, Audra, it’s for the gentry, for the rich, them as have time for happiness and can afford it. We can’t.’

What a bleak outlook she has, Audra thought, and turned to Laurette. They exchanged knowing glances and Laurette shrugged her shoulders. Then she stiffened slightly and sniffed. ‘Mam, is there something burning?’

‘Oh my God, the Christmas cakes and the pie for your dad’s tea!’ Eliza leapt to her feet, grabbed the oven towel and yanked open the oven door. She began pulling out her baking tins, exclaiming to Laurette over her shoulder, ‘Well, don’t sit there gawping, lass, get another towel and help me. And Audra, make a bit of space on the set-pot, please.’

Laurette and Audra sprang to her assistance and within seconds the Christmas cakes, the date loaves and the bacon-and-egg pie had been spread out to cool. Eliza’s critical eyes roved over them and she nodded happily when she saw none of them had been ruined. ‘We saved them in the nick of time,’ she murmured, sounding relieved.

‘It’s only me, Mam!’ The door burst open and Vincent came barging in, pulling off his cap as he did. When he saw Audra his brows shot up in surprise. ‘What are you doing here, love?’ he asked in the pleasantest of voices, smiling at her warmly.

Last night might never have happened, Audra thought, staring back at him mutely, marvelling at his ability to shrug everything off. His nonchalance at this moment was quite remarkable. It annoyed her.

‘She’s having a cup of tea,’ Laurette said quickly. ‘We ran into each other in Town Street and I invited her back to visit for a little bit.’

‘Oh, I see.’ He started to shrug out of his coat, swung to the cupboard.

Laurette hurried over to him. ‘Here let me hang this up for you, Vincent,’ she said, taking his overcoat. ‘You
get over to the fire and warm yourself up. You look frozen.’

She doesn’t want him to see the suitcase, Eliza thought, watching her children closely. But he’s bound to see it sooner or later. She sighed, turned back to her cakes.

‘Thanks, Laurette,’ Vincent said, rubbing his cold hands together, striding across the room. ‘I wouldn’t mind a spot of tea meself.’

‘Coming right up,’ his sister said, and went to the Welsh dresser. Bringing a cup and saucer to the table, she lifted the teapot and poured for him.

A moment later the door again flew open and Danny ran into the kitchen, followed more sedately by Maggie, who was feeling very grown up and important this afternoon.

‘We got the parts! We got the parts!’ Danny cried to the room at large, throwing his cap and scarf onto the sofa. His overcoat followed, and then he scurried over to the birdcage in the corner. ‘I’m home, Flyaway,’ he cooed to the budgie sitting on its perch. ‘Come on, sing a song for me.’ He gazed lovingly at the little bird, which Vincent had bought for him and also named.

‘Danny, hang up your things at once,’ Eliza called to her youngest.

‘I will, Mam, in a tick.’

Maggie, who was taking off her own coat, said, ‘Oh, I’ll do it, Mother.’

‘And what part have you got, Tiddler?’ Vincent asked when the little boy came and stood at his knee a moment later.

Danny looked up at his handsome eldest brother and smiled sweetly. ‘I’m going to be a page boy. I don’t get to say owt, but I do get to carry a luvely red velvet cushion with the glass slipper on it.’

Vincent rumpled his hair. ‘That’s grand, lad.’

Maggie joined Laurette and Vincent at the table, sat down between them and grinned. ‘
I
have a speaking part though, a big part too. I’m going to be one of the Ugly Sisters.’

‘What perfect casting!’ Vincent cried and laughed uproariously.

‘You are awful, our Vincent!’ Maggie screeched, punching him hard on the arm. ‘And if I’m ugly then so are you, ’cos everybody says we look exactly alike.’ She punched him again.

He grabbed hold of her wrist, held her tightly.

‘Now then, you two, stop all this rough housing!’ Eliza cried, ‘your dad’ll be home any minute and he’ll be wanting a bit of peace and quiet after his hard day at work.’

Eliza walked over to the Welsh dresser and took down two of the largest serving platters. ‘And you’d better stop to your teas, Audra and Vincent. There’s plenty for all of us. There’s the bacon-and-egg pie, and I made a lovely jellied tongue yesterday.’ She peered at Audra over her shoulder. ‘You will stay?’

‘That’s up to Vincent,’ Audra murmured.

‘Yes, of course we’ll stay, Mam, why not?’ He pulled out his Woodbines and lit one.

Audra sank back into the wing chair gratefully and gazed into the fire, her face abstracted.

She preferred to be here rather than alone with him at the cottage, where they were bound to quarrel. In a few minutes his brothers Jack and Bill would return from work and the atmosphere would probably turn boisterous, as it usually did when they were all together. But as rough-and-ready as the Crowther clan sometimes were, she knew they were good-hearted.

Often Audra did feel overwhelmed by them, and occasionally she saw them looking at her oddly. She sensed they thought she was standoffish and a snob, and frequently they seemed wary with her. But not Laurette and Mr Crowther.
They
were her real friends in this family and she was quite certain they truly cared about her, just as she cared about them. They were the ones she would miss when she was back in Ripon. Despite what his mother had said, Audra was still planning to leave Vincent. She would go tomorrow.

***

‘How could you do it? How could you go blabbing to our Laurette and me Mam?’ Vincent demanded furiously, the minute they arrived at the cottage in Pot Lane.

Glaring at Audra, he went on heatedly, ‘I couldn’t believe it when Laurette took me up to the sitting room after tea, and told me how she’d stopped you from running off and leaving me. It’s bloody
embarrassing
, that’s what it is!’

‘I didn’t go blabbing to them, as you put it,’ Audra said evenly, holding herself very still. She was determined not to let him goad her into losing her temper as he had last night. ‘Laurette told you what happened. If I hadn’t run into her at the tram terminal, and quite by accident, neither she nor your mother would know anything.’

‘Well, they
do
know, and you’ve gone and humiliated me again!’

‘What on earth do you mean?’ she demanded, drawing herself up to her full height and glaring back at him.

‘First you diminish me in front of Gwen, what with all your talk of getting a job, going out to work and behaving as if I can’t support you, and now you’ve been complaining about me to my mother and sister. Anybody would think that I’m the devil incarnate the way
you
bloody well
carry on.’ His sudden laughter was harsh and there was a sarcastic edge to his voice as he added, ‘And I thought
I’d
be the one to embarrass
you
, seeing as how you’re so very much the lady. But the boot’s on t’other foot it seems to me.’

‘Please don’t worry, Vincent, I won’t embarrass you any more. I won’t be around to do so. I’m leaving you tomorrow. For good.’

‘Suit yourself.’ He marched across the little parlour-kitchen to the front door and picked up his cloth cap.

‘Where are you going?’ Audra demanded.

‘To the pub,’ he replied and slammed out of the cottage without uttering another word. The door crashed behind him.

***

But Audra did not leave the following morning as she had threatened to do. She could not even leave their bed. Her throat was sore, her eyes were watering and she had a raging fever.

By eleven o’clock Vincent was so worried about her he sent for Doctor Stalkley, the local physician who had brought him into the world.

‘Influenza, I’m afraid, Vincent,’ the old doctor pronounced, after he had examined Audra. ‘There’s a lot of it going around in Armley just now. See that she stays in bed and give her plenty of liquids. Not much else you can do, my boy, it has to take its course.’

Irène Bell paused on the threshold of the dining room at Calpher House, catching her breath in surprise.

Always a handsome room, with its cranberry-coloured wallpaper of flocked velvet and English Regency antiques, it had a special kind of beauty this afternoon. This was due in no small measure to the Christmas decorations which were now in place, and which had been created by Audra in her absence.