Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success: Discovering Your Gift and the Way to Life's Riches (13 page)

You are not a sellout if you expand your gifts and talents for wider appeal among a broader audience or a bigger arena. The more open you are, the faster you will realize your dreams. An expansive vision is necessary when reaching for your life's possibilities. We cannot allow small-mindedness to interfere with our rewards. Step outside your comfort zone and try something new, something adventuresome, when utilizing your gift.

The Bible says, “I've come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Nowhere in that Scripture does it say, “I've come that you might have a comfortable, safe, boxed-in life that makes everybody happy.”

Diversifying your gift presents you with the opportunity to reach people whom you wouldn't have been able to connect with previously. There are windows of blessings that God has just for you if you have the faith to take your gift to the next level.

When I first wrote
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
in 2009, I was diversifying my gift. We have to learn to dream bigger than our past and current circumstances to create a bigger picture that will inspire us to move forward.

One group of musicians that I'm really proud of right now is the Roots. If you're not watching the new
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
, you are missing out on the chance to see one of the baddest bands in the land do their thing every night. What I love about the Roots is that this is a band that started out as a live hip-hop group in Philadelphia. But when you tune in to
The Tonight Show
, they're playing with
everybody
, from Nas to U2 to Steven Tyler to Willie Nelson. The Roots is a band that is clearly steeped in hip-hop and the traditions of soul music, but these guys are not stuck there. This band clearly appreciates their roots (pun intended), but the band members haven't allowed their past to keep them stuck in one vision for the future of their career.

By all means, I don't want you to throw any of the traditions, legacies, and skills that came along with your gift out of the window. This unique set of traits is what makes your gift different from everyone else's. While you should take the time to accentuate your gift in all the rich techniques and tricks of the trades you have learned over the years, don't get stuck there. I don't want you to fall in the trap of only knowing how to bake a wedding cake the way your mother taught you when you first joined her shop in 1985. I know you play a mean guitar with your band on Saturday night, but don't miss out on the opportunity of learning how to play an acoustic guitar for a retirement party during the week. Who knows? That retirement party might be more live than your Saturday night gig if you pick the right song.

I love the late comedian Richard Pryor. I can probably quote most of the sets from his popular comedy albums, but getting stuck on Pryor is not the kind of comedic skill that would get me invited to host
Celebration of Gospel
. Doing something that makes a church mother laugh is different from rocking a crowd in a comedy club on a Friday night.

When I did my comedy special
Don't Trip . . . He Ain't Through with Me Yet!
in 2006, it was one of the first shows where I played to a predominantly Christian audience. I prayed to God that I wouldn't slip up and cuss in front of these good people. He blessed me with rich, humorous material that was well suited for that audience and beyond. My roots didn't change, just my material.

Don't let your background become a limitation. The smartest folks in business take the best of what they have learned from their parents, mentors, colleagues, and bosses, and use it to build from there. You will never hear an innovator such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, or Oprah Winfrey say, “We are doing it this way because that's how it's always been done.” Successful people appreciate where they have come from, but they don't let their past set the tone for their future. Successful people are innovators.

Take a moment to write down in your journal all the skills and talents that come along with your gift. It could be as small as knowing how to create an agenda for a meeting or as large as organizing a Labor Day picnic for your office.

List ways that you can diversify or expand your gift to a wider audience or a bigger arena. Don't be afraid to think BIG here. How can you really take your gifts to the next level?

M
any years ago, I owned a comedy club. One of the things I learned about myself after that business was that I would never, ever sell alcohol to another person. The worst experience I have ever had was talking to drunk people! I told God, when I got out of the comedy club business, I would never promote alcohol again.

It was easy to keep this promise, until Crown Royal became the official sponsor for the Kings of Comedy tour. I was hosting the show when the promoter gave me a list of positive stuff to say about Crown Royal to get people to buy it. I said no. He started telling me how much money we were making because of Crown Royal, which was true. And there is nothing wrong with the product when used in moderation, if that is what you choose to drink. But I had made a promise that I would not use my fame or fortune to promote the consumption of alcohol. I have other vices. I smoke cigars. I'm not perfect, but I do not choose to promote alcohol.

It became a huge problem. The promoter threatened to cut my money and pull the sponsorship. There were a few verbal altercations, along with the promoter standing by the side of the stage trying to make me sell alcohol. This battle went on for about six weeks. He did everything he could think of to make me promote alcoholic beverages. I really liked the people at Crown. They came to the show and were great sponsors. They helped us out in a big way. The Crown on the bag signified the Kings. It was a great tie-in. I explained to Crown Royal that I wouldn't sell the product because I didn't like what it does to people. Who doesn't understand that? Because I am famous, the star of
The Steve Harvey Show
, they realized that if I said it, it would carry a lot more weight. I'm not saying that you are not supposed to drink it. As a person of integrity, I'm saying that I will not sell to people something I won't use.

I had to stand my ground. Crown Royal understood what I was talking about. They understood that they couldn't make me promote their brand. I stood for something. I have always thought it was important to stand for something, and I stood proudly.

“No” is a powerful word. I risked being fired by standing up for what I believed in. Being able to say no will help you become confident in setting personal standards, as well as being comfortable setting boundaries, both of which are critical in your journey toward success.

Saying no gives you a set of powers that I like to call “The 5 E's.” They are as follows:

THE POWER OF ENERGY
.
Saying no gives you the energy to focus on the things in your life that move you closer to your destiny.

THE POWER OF REDUCED EGO
.
Saying no is also being strong enough to admit that you can't do everything. Even when we are trying to be the best, we have to realize we are not God. Don't try to do it all. The plan that you have for your gift will guide you.

THE POWER TO EMPOWER
.
Saying no gives you the ability to let someone else shine. Recommend another person for the honor. Your no will open the door for others to rise.

THE POWER TO END ENABLING
.
Some people say yes all the time in order to save other people—to cover for them when they won't step up to the plate.
Stop
. Your no forces someone to step into the place he is being called to. Even if you let him fail once . . . you are helping him in the long run. Your yes is only delaying the inevitable.

THE POWER TO ROB YOUR ENEMY
.
People may want to steal and manipulate your gift. Saying no allows you to use your gift and power in the right place at the right time for the right purpose. Stop giving your gift to those who want to use you for the development of their legacy, at the cost of yours. Do not let anyone distract you from focusing on your vision.

Maximizing this power will help you avoid all kinds of situations that take you further and further off the path to your success.

When I talk to people about saying no, one of the questions I get most often is, “How do you know what to say no to?” And that is a good question. Because not every opportunity, relationship, or experience that comes your way—even if it's something that you want—is good for you. Have you ever thought you wanted something and when you were presented with it, said yes, and shortly after wished you had said no? Me, too. Well, let me give you a list that will help you determine what offers warrant a no.

        
•
     
Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., move you closer to one or more of the items on your vision board?

               
YES
            
NO

        
•
     
Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., support your gift?

               
YES
            
NO

        
•
     
Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., conflict with a task you are doing—or something that you need to get done—that is in line with one or more of the items on your vision board?

               
YES
            
NO

        
•
     
Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., mutually benefit both you and other parties involved (regardless of whom it benefits more)?

               
YES
            
NO

        
•
     
Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., conflict with a moral belief, even if it benefits you in other ways?

               
YES
            
NO

        
•
     
Are you being fairly compensated (as you see it) for this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc.?

               
YES
            
NO

Does this help you get closer or take you further from that which you have defined as the goal? Saying no now will reward you with victory later.

T
he Bible says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”

In your quest to become successful and to be more, have more, and enjoy more, there is going to be opposition. Sad to say, but opposition is not always just circumstances; a lot of times it's other people, and those people show up as haters. Every time you make a decision to do more, be more, want more, here comes opposition. The good news is that there is no progress without it. There's no need to address the opposition, because it will be ongoing. The only cure for enemies is success. Your first thought may be, I could really set them straight. Yes, you could. But in order to set them straight, you have to interrupt your climb to do so.

My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was kicking at me. When I did that, I would no longer be climbing. While they are kicking, my father told me, I should keep stepping. They can kick only one time. If I continued to climb, they would be left behind. In trying to hurt me, to impede my progress, they would get left behind because they allowed themselves to get sidetracked from their agenda.

Look at success as being on a ladder. Every time you step up one rung on the ladder, you have to lift one foot higher than the other one. If you stop to address a foe, you're not raising your foot to the next level. You're now spending time with a person who is not a decision maker, a power broker, a shaker, or a mover. They are merely a hater. Their one goal is to impede your progress, and the moment you stop to address them, you have helped them accomplish it. You cannot afford to spend a single day engaging with that kind of energy.

No one I know who is serious about business addresses the opposition. They don't have the time. In all of this space, enemies have no significant value anywhere. No advertiser says, “Wait a minute, we're going to advertise here, but let's check what the haters say.” No one who prints books says, “Hey, we're about to publish this book, but uh-oh, before we do, let's check and see what the haters are reading.” No one who's looking to fill a position says, “Hey, we're looking for haters. We've got a high-paying hater position available.” If you understand people of power, decision makers, power brokers, shakers and movers, you know that they don't even know the haters exist. So why should you? My daddy used to always tell me, “Son, don't give 'em a pin to stick you with.”

One time I was going through something, and Tyler Perry called me. Tyler said, “Steve, when they blog about you, it's just a blog. If you respond, it's a press conference.”

You don't have time for small people. You don't have time for the opposition. Any way you want to look at this, the only way to heal a hater is through success. And at no point in time does it serve you any good to address a hater in any shape, form, or fashion. You are merely putting a spotlight on a dull person. You are giving shine to a person who has no brilliance.