Across The Divide (12 page)

I couldn’t tell Sprig we’d get another Pam because I knew she wasn’t merely a stuffed animal, something you could replace. She was his security, his comfort when he felt scared or lonely. There was only one Pam.

There was only one of him, also—not a monkey, but no longer a sprite.

I could relate to this as I was not exactly a fae, but not solely human either.

The lights assaulted my eyes not long after I closed them. It felt like grains of salt were stuck to them every time I tried to blink.

Right on schedule, the door opened and Delaney entered. Like when I was in the hole, each day an interchangeable nurse brought in shots to keep their patient’s abilities subdued and controlled. Delaney stepped in the room, her gaze drifting over my face as I sat up. “You look tired. Didn’t you get enough sleep last night?” Paranoia swarmed over.
Was she making a jab about my activities last night? Did they know what I did?

“No,” I said warily, rubbing my face.

“Why is that?” She cocked her head, appearing concerned. She wasn’t acting like they knew I broke into the top-secret floor. Rapava was too arrogant to think I could get away with anything locked in my room. This was his flaw. His overconfidence in thinking he was the smartest one here would be his downfall. My gain.

I dropped my hands in my lap. “Maybe because I’m still treated like a criminal.”

“You know how to fix that; simply continue to do what Rapava wants. He will eventually give you additional freedoms the more you prove yourself.” Delaney regarded me through her lashes. She set the tray down and picked up the syringe. “Until then, I can give you a sleeping pill to help you relax at night.”

“A pill?” I inhaled sharply as the needle dug into my neck vein, liquid burning icily into my bloodstream. “Because I don’t want more of this.”

“Yeah.” She took the out the syringe. “I can leave a couple of pills for you.”

“Thank you,” I replied gratefully. I had no intention of ever taking them.

The door opened again, and Rapava stepped through. I forcefully swallowed the bile which rose at the sight of him, last night’s images roaring through my mind.

“Good morning, Zoey.” He nodded at me, his blue eyes taking me in. “It looks like you did not sleep well.”

“No.”

He stared into my eyes. It felt he was looking into my conscience. “Night filled with activity?”

My muscles locked up, dread coating me like pancake batter. “W-What?” 
Hell. He knows.

“Your dreams.” He stepped to the bed, reaching for his pocket light. “The training must be overstimulating your mind and keeping you up. I presume you still have the active dreams like you used to?”

I always had violent dreams, but when I first started at DMG they got so bad Rapava ran some tests on me. It was a couple of months before I slept a full night. The headaches and nosebleeds began right after. Now I could see they were probably connected.

“Yes.” Air rushed down my trachea. “Yes. I keep waking myself fighting with my sheets.”

Delaney smiled, but Rapava watched me blankly before clicking on the mini flashlight, which looked similar to the one Croygen stole from him. “Look up.” He tugged at my bottom eyelid, peering into my pupils.

I tried to keep my breath even as he examined me. His detached manner always left me feeling as if I were in quicksand. I never knew what he was thinking, which was probably how he liked me to be.

He frowned, clicking off the light.

“What?”

Rapava picked up a clipboard. “Delaney, will you go prepare the examining room? I need to run more tests.”

“Yes, Doctor.” She nodded, her gaze meeting mine with soft, concerned eyes. She touched my shoulder before heading out of the room. She was sympathetic to me. I needed to act on and use that more. She might be a beneficial acquaintance to have, even if she was unaware of my true motive.

Rapava waited for her to exit before he addressed my question. “I really hoped for you to do more training today, but the tests I ran on your blood came back almost all negative for fae blood.”

“What does that mean?” I knew exactly what it meant. I didn’t have Ryker’s blood. But I played dumb.

“I am not certain. Most likely the blood was contaminated in the lab somehow.” He scribbled a few notes on the clipboard and set it down. “I don’t think it’s anything we need to be concerned about, but I want to run a few more tests today.”

I swallowed over the disgust caught in my throat. “Of course, anything you need, sir.”

His expression grew smug, a glimmer in his eyes. “I am happy you feel this way, Zoey. Your contribution is already making a huge difference.”

Severed primate parts floated behind my eyes and I nearly gagged.

“Glad to help.” The words slid off my tongue. “I was actually hoping I could do more.”

Rapava tilted hid head, his curious eyes never leaving me.

“I do not doubt there will be,” he replied. I waited for more, but he turned away. “Get dressed and have a quick breakfast. I will meet you in the examining room in twenty minutes.” He shut the door behind him.

I sat there a little stunned and surprised. 
Delaney isn’t walking me today?

I quickly dressed and checked on Sprig. He was still fast asleep or pretending to be. I patted him gently before heading out. He was my tiny anchor, keeping me grounded to what really mattered.

Though I rarely saw anyone when I went to the bathroom or walked to the cafeteria, my senses told me I wasn’t alone. Liam was somewhere in the shadows, watching and keeping tabs on me.

I didn’t defer my walk to the cafeteria; the secret eyes kept my path straight. It was hard when I passed Croygen’s hallway not to want to sneak a glance, but I forced my head straight. The key card rubbing against my lower back was a silent reminder I would see him tonight. The thought of leaving the card behind to be discovered overrode my fear of getting caught with it. It was a gift I didn’t want to part with.

Kate was nowhere to be seen in the cafeteria, which disappointed me. Even if she were there, she probably wouldn’t risk talking to me again. But she was the olive branch I needed. The only other turncoat in this war.

Eyes watched me as I ate my oatmeal alone. No one dared to even sit at a table near me. 
Wow! I actually haven’t left high school
. I snorted, shoving another spoonful into my mouth. Except in high school people sought me out, usually for protection. All the way through school, my round, sweet face made me have to prove over and over why they should fear me. I always did. Soon, even the biggest and toughest were trying to associate with me. I ran with a rough crowd during the week and an even wilder one on the weekends.

“Rapava told me we have to cancel our session today,” a voice spoke above me. I looked up to a tall blond. Peter’s stern gaze met mine. His arms were crossed.

“Yeah. More tests.”

“Too bad,” he replied. “Your roundhouse kick is shit, and your arm strength is pathetic.”

“Not my decision.”

Peter frowned. “It simply means I go harder on you tomorrow. Be prepared to get your ass handed to you again. And maybe you should cut back on the sugar.” He pointed to the pile of honey packets on my tray, then whipped around and sauntered away.

A grin tickled my lips. That was the closest to approval and acceptance Peter would ever show me. This was how he treated me before the “incident.” A surge of confidence and optimism pushed me off my seat. I threw away my dish and headed out, snatching the extra honey packages and stuffing them in my sports bra.

My plan to re-establish myself, become one of them again, was slowly working. Peter was one of my toughest opponents. If I got him, the rest would follow.

Even Rapava.

When I walked from the cafeteria, my confidence fell away the nearer I got to the lab. Every hour, every minute of being stabbed, cut, examined, drugged, and prodded wore me down. Whatever Rapava was trying to figure out, he was being obsessively thorough.

Every tube or syringe he brought near me and shoved in my vein or down my throat, I bit back my tears and repeated: “Whatever I need to do to help.” My will was slipping; I could feel it. Every day the injections tore my powers from me, while the testing challenged my resolve. The only thing keeping me going was my determination to ruin the man doing this.

When underground, I only knew time by the lights turning off or on. A couple of times Rapava’s wristwatch faced me, so I caught the gap in hours passing. When I last looked it was well past four in the afternoon.

“It’s good to see you being yourself again.” Dr. Rapava stared at me over his clipboard, gauging my reaction. His eyes were always scrutinizing and critical, staring at me as an experiment rather than a person.

Blood dripped down my arms from the abundance of needle jabs. Exhaustion and pain lowered my defenses, and I didn’t trust myself to speak. A big
fuck you
lay on my tongue, seeking release.

“I know you are working hard
to return to your former station here, to earn the respect back from your peers. Me.” Rapava set down the chart. “I feel the more progress you attain here, the less those dreams might keep you awake at night.”

Quicksand. It was under my feet again.

“You were always more intelligent than Daniel. I could see you would soon outgrow him. You were a quick study, understanding dangers Daniel never could.” Rapava’s voice and face were expressionless, never clearly revealing if the threat I sensed was real. “You remind me of me when I was young. You came from nothing, but you bucked the system, climbed out of the gutter and became something. You are a fighter and survivor, Zoey, no matter the odds against you. I am enormously proud.”

I chomped down on my tongue, keeping myself from rejecting our comparison with abhorrence.

He clasped his hands together, a pinched grin on his face. “Because you have been good, I want to give you more incentive to keep on your path.” Rapava strolled to the internal phone and spoke quietly into it. 
What was he up to?
My eyes tracked him as he came back, untying the straps around my arms. The blood from my wounds was clotting. I missed the fae powers; with them I would be able to heal a lot faster.

“I understand your need to keep the fae contained and under control, but don’t you need their powers? Their powers and willingness to fight against their own kind?” I shifted to the edge of the seat, too weak to stand yet.

“Yes to both,” Rapava replied, leaning back against the counter. “I am working on one so the other can follow. It is going slower than I hoped. Until I can fully control their minds, I will have to keep their powers from being used against me.”

“Control their minds?”

“It’s another formula I am working on. You will be meeting one of my test subjects soon.”

This man’s god complex multiplied every day.

“You might be able to help me.”

I forced myself to breath in and out evenly. “How could I possibly help?”

“I’ve heard rumors that you and your fae companion were in possession of a certain stone. A stone which holds great power, enough to control every fae.”

Don’t react, Zoey
.

Quickly my mind tried to gauge Rapava. He wouldn’t mention it unless he knew for sure of its existence and my proximity to it.

“Yes. Like the others searching for it, I tried to discover its whereabouts. I thought the fae’s and my connection would shed some light on the location.” I twisted the fib out of my mouth. “I was never able to learn anything except it’s hidden somewhere between China and Magnolia.”