Authors: Jennifer Lane
Lucia sidled up to me after I drank some water. “Have you eaten anything today?”
“Of course.” As I thought about it, though, I wasn’t sure. “I…” I’d skipped breakfast because I hadn’t been hungry, but I’d eaten lunch, right? I’d gone to microbiology lecture, then I’d worked on my lab report…
“Maddie.” Lucia’s voice rose as she blinked. “Have you?”
I winced. “I don’t think so.”
“I won’t stand by and watch you develop an eating disorder.”
I laughed. “You don’t need to worry about that, Rez.” When she didn’t crack a smile, I touched her arm. “I just haven’t been hungry lately. But you’re right, I need to eat. No wonder my blocks sucked today.”
“Ask Coach if you can go to the training room. Tina has some protein bars.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll grab something after practice.”
“Go
now
, Maddie.” She pointed to the training room in one corner of the arena.
Well,
this
was a role reversal. I’d forced her to visit Tina a few times in the fall when she’d been too scared to eat. I bit back a smile at the stern line of her mouth. It seemed my sweet Rez had grown a backbone. “Yes, ma’am.”
Her mouth relaxed. “If
I
have to eat, so do you.”
“Paybacks are hell.” I smirked.
I approached Coach, who was having a powwow with his assistants. “Uh, Coach?” The three looked at me. “May I go to the training room for a protein bar? Turns out I forgot to eat today.” I shrugged.
His shoulders lowered with what looked like relief. “So that’s why you played like shit today. Of course you can go.”
“Thanks.”
I headed to the training room but turned around when he added, “Don’t let it happen again.”
I nodded.
Tina’s eyebrows flew up when I told her why I was there. “
Lucia
sent you to get food?”
I hoisted myself onto one of the padded exam tables. “Ironic, isn’t it?”
“How’s she doing with her eating?” Tina’s dark blond ponytail swayed when she opened a drawer full of bars. I chose peanut butter-chocolate.
“Pretty good, I think.” I unwrapped the bar. “I watched her eat salmon, veggies, and rice a couple weeks ago at a restaurant.”
My nose wrinkled at the bar’s soy-protein smell, but I forced myself to take a bite. Once I chewed and swallowed, I realized how hungry I was. I polished off the bar in about two minutes, swigging water from my bottle between bites.
“So why’d you forget to eat today?” Tina busied herself with arranging the protein bars into neat rows in the drawer, but I knew her eagle eye still assessed me.
“It was stupid. I got caught up doing bio and chem labs.”
She shut the drawer and studied me. “You know, loss of appetite could be a symptom of depression.”
What?
“I’m not depressed. I’ve just been busy.”
“Okay.” She patted my knee. “I heard…”
I braced myself.
“I heard you were going through a tough time.” She patted my knee again, and I held my breath. “Breakups can be painful.”
My nose burned.
Don’t cry
. “Who told you about Jaylon?”
“That doesn’t matter.” She shrugged. “Athletic trainers, we hear things. I know you two dated for a while, so I wondered how you were doing. Want to talk about it?”
I hopped off the table. “No. I’m fine.” I rocketed from the room before yet another person witnessed my breakdown over my breakup. “Thanks, Tina,” I said from the door.
Time to stink up the gym some more
.
Following a quick shower after practice, I was almost fully clothed when Lucia entered the locker room. She tossed her shoes into her locker as I zipped up my boots. I watched a completely nude Nina saunter to the showers—she’d obviously been hitting the tanning bed. Shaking my head, I grabbed my backpack. “Have a good night, Rez.”
“Wait, don’t leave.” She unlaced her ankle braces. “I wanted to see if you’d come over for dinner. Will you wait for me to get dressed?”
The hopeful look in her eyes made me pause. “I have to write a lab report tonight.”
“Please? Dane’s playing at Ball State…” As the university’s name rolled off her tongue, she started snickering like the freshman she was. “And I don’t have anyone to eat with. No one to, you know, support me at mealtime.” She tilted her head and peered up at me.
What an obvious ploy to get me to come over. We both knew damn well she was recovering like a champ. My eyes narrowed.
“Please, Maddie?”
My dad’s ring tone blasted from my backpack, and I sighed. “Fine. I’ll wait for you in the hallway.”
“¡Gracias, amiga!”
What a manipulator. I jogged to the hallway to the beat of “Superfreak” by Rick James—my dad’s favorite artist—and managed to answer the call before it went to voice mail. “Hey, Dad.”
“Finally I catch you. Have you been avoiding me?”
I grimaced. “Sorry.”
“I thought today’s college students relied too
much
on their parents—calling them five times a day, asking them to write papers. But you I never hear from.”
My dad taught history at Cuyahoga Community College and often complained about overinvolved parents. “How many calls have you gotten from parents wanting you to change their kid’s grades?”
“Hmm, about five so far. But it’s only February—the semester’s still young. Are you going to tell me what’s been going on?”
“Stop pretending you don’t already know. I’m sure Braxton talked to you.”
He paused. “Well, we both know that boy can’t keep a secret.”
I shook my head, remembering when I was thirteen and got my period. Braxton had overheard me on the phone telling a track teammate about it, and to my horror, he’d ratted me out to Dad. I’d about died. Fortunately, Dad had enlisted Nana’s help. My grandmother had been discreet in her delivery of both the feminine products and the lesson on how to use them.
My dad let the line go silent, and I looked around to make sure the hallway was still empty. I backed up against the wall. “So you know Jaylon broke up with me.”
“Yeah, uh…sorry about that.” Dad’s voice hitched, like he was nervous. “You’ll be, um, you’ll be better off without him.”
Would I?
It sure didn’t feel that way.
“You meet any new men yet?”
“Dad.” I exhaled. “You’re not helping. I’m nowhere near ready to date another guy.” Though I had to admit I’d been thinking about Alejandro, or Jandro, as I’d been referring to him in my head. “You can’t make this all go away with the snap of your fingers, you know.”
“Sorry. This…this is probably something your mother would handle better.”
My face flushed. Why’d he have to bring her up? This was precisely the reason I hadn’t called him.
“Sorry,” he said again. “I know you don’t like me talking about her.”
Make it stop
. I tried to think of something to distract him. “What did Nana say?”
Dad snorted, and then sounded less anxious. “She said, ‘’Bout time Maddie dumped that dumbass boy.’”
The image of my feisty grandmother made me grin. She’d never thought Jaylon was my intellectual equal, and she’d been right that school wasn’t really his thing. But she’d been wrong about the rest: I hadn’t been the dumper. I’d been the dumpee.
“Jaylon’s not dumb—he just doesn’t care about school. At least he’s managed to keep his GPA above two point oh.” I pictured his muscular body sprawled out on the bed as he frowned at a textbook. But what he lacked academically, he made up for physically. He was one of the best athletes I’d ever known. He was going places. I frowned as I realized again he wouldn’t be taking me with him to said places.
Dad asked another question, but the chime of an incoming text distracted me. I held my phone out from my ear, expecting to see a text alert, but there wasn’t one. Huh? The
ding
had sounded so close. Was someone nearby?
“Maddie?” Dad asked.
When I crept around the corner, I froze. Jaylon was backing away, his phone in his hand, staring at me with big eyes.
Busted
.
“You’re
eavesdropping?”
I hissed.
He squinted. “You’re raggin’ on my GPA?”
My mouth popped open. He
had
been listening!
Dad spoke again. “Maddie, everything all right?”
I realized I still held my phone to my ear. “Gotta go, Dad—I’ll call you later.” Once I ended the call, I glared at Jaylon. “What’re you doing here?”
His eyes widened even more as he backed away.
“I told you I never wanted to talk to you again! Didn’t you get the message?”
“Got it.” He swallowed, drawing my attention to his Adam’s apple and smooth, solid neck. He wore the braided gold chain I hated—the one that made him look like a thug. “I’ll leave.”
Blood rushed in my ears at the thought of him walking out of my life yet again. “No, don’t.” A line creased his forehead. “How…” I took a shaky breath. “How could you think I didn’t love you?”
“Mads.” His gentle voice made me want to run to him and curl up in his arms. “Don’t put this on me. You didn’t let me in.” He pushed his lips out as he shook his head. “You don’t let anyone in.”
As I tried to make sense of his words, a flash of blond streaked past me.
“Jay Jay!” Nina called as she bounded up to him.
My heart stopped.
Nina?
He was here to see Nina? No wonder he’d been tucked around the corner, hiding from me. Had he been sneaking around after other practices, too?
“Aw, fuck,” Jaylon muttered.
Nina appraised me. “Thought you’d left already.”
My legs shook. This wasn’t happening—Nina was dating the star quarterback of the football team, right? I reached for the wall to hold me up. “But, but Nina’s with TJ Tinton.”
Her nose wrinkled. “We broke up over a month ago.”
Oh, God. Jaylon cheated on me with my teammate.
I splayed my hand out on the wall as my mind raced.
I’m not good enough. He doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough to keep him here
.
Jaylon looked away, and I studied his profile—his strong nose, the ripple of muscle working at the base of his jaw. I’d believed we might get back together, but now I knew that belief was a delusion. Between panicked breaths, I finally spoke. “You’re with
her?”
I hated the tremble in my voice, but I hated even more how Jaylon wouldn’t look at me. “You cheated on me with Nina?”
“No, girl!” He whipped his head to look at me. “Don’t you pin that on me.” He took another step back. “We didn’t hook up till you and I ended things.”
Right.
No wonder he’d acted so distant. “You cheated on me with a teammate.”
His jaw went slack. “Don’t you
listen?
I said—”
“Maddie?”
I turned to see Lucia. She inched toward me and clasped my arm, like she knew I was about to collapse. “What’s happening?”
“Maddie thinks Jaylon cheated with me,” Nina said. When she leaned into him and rubbed her cheek on his shoulder, I wanted to hurl. “But she’s wrong.”
Lucia gasped. “You’re with Jaylon? You don’t waste any time, do you, Nina?”
“This is none of your business.” Her blue eyes narrowed.
“Actually, it’s none of
yours
,” Lucia said. “Maddie and Jaylon dated for three years. They need time to work this out.
Ven acá
.” She curled her fingers toward her open palm, beckoning Nina. “Let’s give them some space to talk.”
“Hell, no.” Nina shook her head. “He’s been wanting to leave her for months!” She looked at Jaylon. “Right?”
A sob caught in my throat as I sagged against Lucia’s hold. Had he ever loved me?
Lucia launched into a Spanish diatribe—I had no idea what she was saying but her fury was obvious.
Jaylon didn’t speak the language, but he was savvy enough to know when he was being insulted. Or when his girlfriend—I felt bile in my throat as I thought of Nina that way—was being disrespected.
He took a step toward Lucia. “Listen, freshman, you don’t know jack—”
“Party’s over,” Allison said, appearing at Lucia’s side. I hadn’t even seen her, but of course she was there. “Let’s go, Lucia.” She kept her gaze trained on Jaylon as she pulled Lucia back.
“Not without Maddie!” Lucia tugged my arm. “C’mon. Let me get you out of here.”
Weak and numb, I surrendered to being swept off by Secret Service. As I touched wetness on my cheek, I knew why she’d looked so alarmed.
I was crying. Again.
Chapter Six
I G
AZED
O
UT
T
HE
T
INTED
W
INDOW
of the SUV. When I saw the Washington Monument, I knew we were close to my parents’ house. This would be my first visit to their new residence, and to prepare myself, I’d studied up on the stats: one hundred thirty-two rooms and thirty-five bathrooms centered on eighteen acres of land. The recent exterior paint job had taken three hundred gallons of paint. White paint.
At a stoplight, a woman crossed the street in front of us. She wore tall, black, high-heeled boots, and her swagger said she knew she commanded men’s attention. But I knew a girl who looked even sexier in tall boots. A girl whose legs went on for days, not even needing heels since she was over six feet tall.