Accidentally Yours (17 page)

On and on, an endless river of rippling ecstasy. It was as if she’d spent the past ten years storing up
for this moment and she was going to get every drop she was owed.

After nearly a minute, Kerri became aware that maybe she was carrying this on a little too far. After a few more seconds, she told herself she could stop, but it all felt too good. As long as he touched her, she kept on coming. Could a person actually die from too much sexual pleasure?

Awkwardness battled selfish need and awkwardness won.

“I’m, ah, you can stop now,” she said, trying to hide the fact that a delicious contraction continued to rip through her.

Nathan raised his head and smiled at her. “I don’t think so.”

“What?”

He slipped two fingers inside of her, filling her, stretching her, making her gasp and bear down on him.

He moved them in and out, mimicking the act of love, forcing her over the edge again. With his other hand, he rubbed her swollen center. She probably could have handled that, but then he leaned in and licked her nipples and she had no choice but to come again, clutching at him, pulling her knees back, wanting everything he could give her.

“I can’t stop,” she breathed.

“Then don’t. Dammit, Kerri, do you know how much this is turning me on? I want to be inside of you. I want to feel you coming while I’m there.”

“What’s stopping you?”

He stared at her for a long second, then shifted back and reached for the belt on his slacks.

It took him about three heartbeats to get his pants and briefs down and pull a condom out of his pocket. Then he was protected and thrusting inside.

His erection felt a whole lot better than his fingers, she thought, as he pushed his way inside. He was large enough to stretch her, to fill her, to hit all the right spots.

He grabbed her hips. She arched into him, taking his thick length and then surrendering to another wave of release. He took her again and again, and she came and cried out and held on for the ride of her life.

At last her exhausted body gave up. The ripples trickled away as she held on to him. Then he pushed one last time and groaned. She felt his body stiffen as he came.

Five minutes later they were facing each other across the sofa. She’d pulled on a robe, he’d pulled up his pants. As they stared at each other, she had the feeling this was going to be a defining moment in their relationship. Which could be really interesting, because Nathan actually looked…sheepish.

“You probably want an explanation,” he said.

For what? The sex? Hadn’t they both wanted it? “Okay,” she said cautiously.

“It was that first kiss. I didn’t know what the deal
was. Were you playing a game because of the money or was it real? I couldn’t be sure. I just knew how sexy I found you. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted you. I was hopeful more than anything.”

Even though he was speaking English, Kerri would have appreciated some subtitles. Or at the very least, a soft-voiced announcer explaining that what Nathan really meant was…and then fill in the blank.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said.

“The condom. I had a condom with me because I’m an optimist. I wasn’t expecting anything.”

Oh. Was that all? “I’m glad you planned ahead.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Do I look mad? Mad would require more energy than I’ll have in the next five years. I’m totally drained. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life.”

He grinned like a proud male and moved closer. “It was good.”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“I know it was good.”

She’d just experienced the longest orgasm in modern history. Who was she to be critical? “It was amazing.”

He cupped her face and kissed her. “We could do it again.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Instead of answering, he bent down and drew her nipple into his mouth. Then he reached between her legs and lightly touched her.

Instantly jolts shot through her. She found herself wanting to pull him close and beg to be taken.

He drew back. “What do you think?”

She looked into his amused eyes. “That maybe I might have a little more time to make up for.”

“I figured.”

“Did you bring more condoms?”

“Yes.”

“Thank God.”

K
ERRI HOVERED
outside of Cody’s room. She rubbed her hands on her jeans, then smiled and walked in.

“How you doing?” she asked. “Is the game going well?”

Cody paused his video game and looked at her. “I’m fine.”

“Good. Good. I was thinking of maybe making cookies or something. Would you like that?”

Cody stared at her as if he’d never seen her. “Mom, you’re acting weird.”

“What? How?”

“You keep coming in here and checking on me. Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect. Really. Just terrific. I’m not checking on you that much.”

“You’ve been in here three times since I came home.”

Had she? Guilt was a powerful force in the universe. Too bad she couldn’t use it for good.

“I, um, guess I missed you while you were at
Brandon’s,” she murmured, knowing she hadn’t actually thought about Cody once in those few hours. She’d been too busy having hot monkey sex with Nathan.

“Go back to your game,” she told him. “I’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay.” While he didn’t sound as if he believed her, he did return his attention to the space creatures on the TV screen. She backed out of the room and vowed to quit acting like an idiot.

Once she was in the kitchen, she started emptying the dishwasher. Maybe housework would distract her. There were always a thousand things to do at home. Cleaning, dishes, laundry. She could change her sheets and—

Kerri squeezed her eyes together. Thinking about the sheets reminded her of the bed and the bed reminded her of Nathan.

She straightened and crossed to the window. It wasn’t that she
wanted
to regret being with him. She liked him and respected him. He’d been good to her and Cody. He was a friend. He mattered. Not to mention the fact that he’d made her feel things that were beyond anything she’d ever experienced before.

She brushed away a whisper that Brian was supposed to have been the best. In truth they’d been young and inexperienced together. He’d been with one other person and she’d been a virgin. Sex had been fun and, given more time, they would have
figured it all out. Nathan had time and practice on his side.

She closed her eyes as she remembered the feel of his hands on her body. The way he’d touched her, she’d had no choice but to surrender. But it wasn’t just about the pleasure. In his arms, she’d felt safe for the first time in a long time. She’d felt as if she belonged. As if they belonged.

Which was the problem—she wasn’t supposed to have a life. It wasn’t part of the deal. So after making love with Nathan, all she could do was wait for whatever bad thing that was going to happen.

She knew that, logically, there wasn’t any punishment lurking. Life wasn’t that tidy. But she couldn’t shake the feeling. She had to give everything to Cody. She’d always accepted that, embraced it even. Giving willingly because there was nothing else she wanted. Only now she wanted more.

She wanted her son to be well and she wanted something for herself. A chance to be happy with a man. And not just any man—she wanted a chance with Nathan King.

As the truth settled into her bones, she sucked in a breath against the pain. Because Nathan wasn’t up for grabs. Not only was he rich and powerful and he moved in a different world, he wasn’t interested. Hadn’t he told her that he didn’t allow himself to care? That no one got in? She had a feeling he hadn’t been lying.

Even if she was allowed to have more, Nathan was the wrong man to have it with.

A
BRAM STOOD
in the center of the lab, his fists clenched, his body tense. The evidence of failure sat before him, a few typed numbers from a report. How could so little information mean so much?

“Dr. Wallace, we’ll get it right next time,” one of the other scientists told him. “We’re close. We can all see that we’re close. We’ll try again. Vary the levels.”

The woman kept talking, but Abram couldn’t hear her. He could only see the failure and remember how Kerri Sullivan had brought her son to the lab. When the boy died, it would be his fault.

He walked away from the still-talking woman and went into his office, where he closed the door and sank into his chair.

He’d been so sure, so confident. He’d believed in his gut that they were on to the solution. That they were close. And now there was nothing but failure.

Linda knocked on his door, then entered. “I have requisitions for you to sign,” she said. “More lab equipment. It’s nice to have the money to buy new—” She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“The experiments failed. I was so sure. Now there’s nothing. I keep thinking about that boy. Cody. I can’t save him.”

Linda crossed to him and crouched in front of
him. “You don’t know that. You’re not going to give up. You’re going to review the experiments and look at what you can change, what you can get better.”

She was so beautiful, he thought as he stared into her blue eyes and saw the total faith blazing there.

“I have nothing left,” he told her.

“Bullshit. You’re not allowed to give up. We’ve been through this before.”

He nodded slowly. “I’m not giving up. I’ll never give up. I know it takes time, but I feel the weight of that small boy with me everywhere. I have to save him. I promised I would try. But will it be enough? Time is my enemy.”

“Cody’s, too.”

Her hand was on his thigh. He took it in his, looking at her long fingers, the painted nails. Bright pink, he thought. A ridiculous color. Yet so right on her.

“They talk to me now,” he said. “The people in town. They talk to me. I know it’s because of the lab. The jobs, the opportunity. If I fail, I fail them all.”

Linda pulled her hand free and stood. “First, you’re not going to fail. I refuse to believe that. Second, they’ve always talked to you. You just never noticed before. You were too busy feeling sorry for yourself.”

He stood and faced her. “Is that what you think of me?”

“Not anymore.”

“But before?”

She shrugged. “You were mopey.”

“Then why did you stay?”

“Where else was I supposed to go?”

She’d been with him nearly twenty years and until these past couple months, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her before. Emotion crashed through him—unfamiliar and terrifying. He wanted to pull her close and hold on like he would never let go. He wanted to beg her to stay. He wanted her to tell him again how she believed in him, because her belief had power.

“Don’t leave me,” he said, his voice low and hoarse, his hands clenched into fists to keep from dragging her to him. “Please, don’t leave me.”

She smiled. “Abram, I haven’t left yet. Why would I leave now?”

His throat tightened. “You are too good to me.”

“That’s true. You don’t appreciate me enough. Always the absentminded scientist. Always thinking of your work.”

“Not always,” he told her, and lightly touched her cheek. “I haven’t been there for you. Not the way I should have. I’ve taken you for granted. You could have left a thousand times. No one would have blamed you.”

“Where else would I go?” she asked again.

He hadn’t realized how he’d been living in darkness until there was suddenly light. “My ex-wife complained that I loved the work more than her. That I wouldn’t notice when she was gone. She was right.
It’s not like that with you. I can’t survive without you. I am a selfish man who gets lost in what he does. You have no reason to care about me. I accept that. But I love you, Linda. Perhaps I always have.”

He dropped his hand. “Why would I tell you that today? When I’ve failed? I’m a fool.”

“You’re not,” she told him, then raised herself onto her toes and pressed her mouth to his. “Today is the perfect day. I love you, too, Abram. Moping and all. You’re brilliant and I have complete faith in you.”

She loved him? Why? What chain of events, what quirk of fate, would allow him to be so fortunate?

Energy swept through him, filling him with ideas. In a nanosecond, there were possibilities where there had only been failure.

“She was right,” he said more to himself than Linda. “Varying the levels could change everything. I must get back to the lab.”

He turned to leave, then hesitated. “Should I say more to you? Do you want me to stay?”

Linda smiled, brightening the room and causing his old, nerdish heart to flutter. “I want you to find a miracle.”

“I’
M NOT SURE
about this,” Kerri muttered as Nathan led her through the downtown Nordstrom. “It feels borderline icky. Cheap even.”

He took her hand and pulled her along. “We’re looking in the designer section. It won’t be cheap.”

“That doesn’t help.” She pulled her hand free and stopped in the middle of the aisle. “I’m not comfortable.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

He was far better at power plays than she would ever be, she discovered as he simply stared at her.

“You’re buying me clothes,” she said, her voice low.

“I asked you to go to a charity event with me. It’s formal. Your lifestyle doesn’t lend itself to dressing for events like that. The deal is you help me out, not that you incur expenses.”

Now he was talking like an accountant, she thought with a sigh. Even though he was telling the truth. There was no way she could have afforded a suitable dress. Nathan’s logic made perfect sense, but she didn’t have to like it.

Maybe what she really hated was the reminder that there were too many differences between them. When they were alone, it was easy to pretend they might have something in common, but here…not so much. Not in an elegant store surrounded by pricey merchandise. While she’d never actually been in the designer department, she had a feeling the clothes there went for a whole lot more than she paid in rent. Possibly more than she’d paid for her car.

“I know a couple of great thrift stores,” she muttered. “Or we could have gone to a consignment store.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“Not your style,” she said.

“Not my style. Come on. We have an appointment.”

She blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

He took her hand again. “We have an appointment with one of the shoppers. She’ll help with coordinating shoes and an evening bag. Whatever you need.”

Kerri had never made an appointment to shop. The most organized she ever got was being at Target at five in the morning after Thanksgiving to pick up a couple of bargains for Cody for Christmas. She had certainly never used a shopper.

The “she” in question was a tall, slender beauty in her forties named Antonia. She was graceful, well dressed and spoke with a slightly foreign accent. Kerri immediately wanted to be her.

Antonia introduced herself, shook hands, then stepped back and studied Kerri. Kerri pressed her lips together to keep from apologizing for the worn jeans and T-shirt.

Either Antonia was used to badly dressed clients, or she was too polite to notice. She smiled at Kerri and said, “I am familiar with the event in question.” She wrinkled her nose. “Very expensive dresses and jewelry, but they are a little short on good taste, yes? You have a beautiful face and wonderful figure. You will be a goddess. They will all whisper, wanting to know who you are. It will make for an excellent evening. What do you think?”

“That if you can make that happen, it will be amazing.”

Antonia laughed. “I have so much to work with. Your excellent genetics and Mr. King’s credit card. Both make my job very easy. Come. This way. I have picked out a few dresses. We will see how they look on you. That will give me an idea for direction.”

As they walked toward the dressing area, Nathan leaned close. “Good trick,” he murmured in Kerri’s ear. “She put both of us in our places.”

“At least you have value because of your business success. I’m nothing but good genetics.”

He grinned at her. “I’ve always admired that about you.”

“Don’t let my excellent bone structure fool you. I know how to throw a punch. I could have you doubled over in pain and gasping for breath in about three seconds.”

“Tough talk.”

They stared at each other, both smiling. Kerri found herself getting lost in his eyes, in the humor there, and something else she wanted to call affection. She knew he liked her, so it wasn’t a huge stretch. What she didn’t know was how much he cared. Was it friendship or something more?

She started to tell herself it didn’t matter, when suddenly she realized it did. It mattered a lot. She wanted Nathan to think well of her, to like her. But why? He was a means to an end. At least he had been.

Panic swelled up like a blowfish, making her stomach hurt and her chest tighten.

Don’t think about it, she told herself. This wasn’t the time. They were shopping. She needed to focus. She would panic later, when she was alone and could think things through. Tonight she would wrestle with the fact that she’d been so busy being sure no one could possibly touch her heart that she hadn’t noticed someone had.

“Mr. King, I have the
Wall Street Journal
here for you, along with the remote.” Antonia motioned to a comfy-looking leather chair in front of a flat-screen television.

“Would you like me to order you coffee or something to eat?” she asked.

Nathan shook his head. “No, thanks.”

“If you change your mind, let me know.”

“I will.”

Kerri leaned close. “It’s not like this at the discount store, although you can certainly go stand in electronics and catch the game.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He gave her a push. “Quit stalling and go find a dress.”

“Yes, O great leader.”

She followed Antonia into the biggest dressing room she’d ever seen. There was a full three-way mirror against one wall, a love seat and five dresses hanging on hooks on the walls.

Each was more beautiful than the one before.
There was a midnight-blue strapless gown with a draping skirt, a pale pink slip dress with exquisite lace and beading at the bodice and tulip hem. A simple black dress seemed out of place until Antonia turned it, exposing the plunging back.

“I don’t have a bra that will work with any of these,” Kerri said.

“Not to worry. Someone from our lingerie department will be by shortly to fit you with an assortment of bras. Everything is to be perfect.”