Accidentally Perfect (14 page)

I cannot believe I never saw how Michael interacted with the girls.  I thought they liked him well enough.  I never saw Michael as the forever type.  I didn’t see him as a potential
stepfather
to my girls, but he was a warm body to keep my cold bed occupied at night.  It’s amazing how intuitive kids are.  They see things that adults just gloss over. 

“Nathan isn’t your new daddy girls,
”  Brad speaks up.  “He
is
your mom's new husband, but I will always be your daddy.  There isn’t a reason for you to have a new daddy when there isn’t anything wrong with me, right?  I don’t think I’m broken, am I?  I thought I was a pretty good daddy.”

“Yous our daddy; yous
are.”  Amanda sings.

“Our friend Becca
and her brother Aaron have two daddies.  They get to have two daddies that love them and take them to play games. 
Becca
said it’s great because no matter where she goes she always has a daddy with her.  When we are with
momma,
we never have a daddy around because you don’t live with us.  But now me and Bug will be like
Becca and Aaron.,
When we are with you daddy we will have you and now when we are with momma we will have Nathan.  We will have two daddies. 
Yeah, two daddies.”

“Yeah daddy, and one day we willf have two mommies, and then we willf be like Alex, cuz
he lives with two mommies.  But we won’t live
withf two mommies or two daddies, we willf
just have two mommies and two daddies.”  Amanda says holding up both hands showing two fingers each.

The girls are taking this all really well, but they are kids.  They roll with the punches.  They just want to be happy, have fun, wear their tutus and play with their toys.  I think as
long,
and the adults are happy in their lives then they will be happy as well.  “It sounds like you like the idea of two mommies and two daddies.”

“Yes momma, it seems super fun.”

“Then I guess we will give it a try with two daddies.”

“Yay!”
  The
y yell in unison.

I smile at them because as long as they’re happy then that’s all that matters to me.  I’m sure Brad is hurt, but this is the life we live now.  There
have
always been possibilities of bringing in other people to parent.  I was very supportive of Brad’s relationship with Emily.  I wanted to make sure that she was right for my
girls,
and I never had the feeling that she was less than great with them. 
But, of course, she could have been a complete ogre to them,
and I wouldn’t have known it, seeing as though the saw Michael as ‘Ugly Michael’.  “Laney, I think we need to discuss this more before we get the girls involved.  Don’t you?  I think things need to be worked out a bit more and clarified.”  The girls look
between us.

“Why don’t you and Brad take a walk before he heads home for the night?
  I’ll stay here with the girls.”  I’m sure Nathan saw the apprehension written all over my face because he gave me a slight nod and
winked
letting me know he’s got this. 

“Alright.
  Daddy and I will be right back, okay babies?  Nathan will be with you so nothing will happen.  We won’t be long.”  I give both of them a kiss on the forehead and hold the door open for Brad to follow me out.

Once we were out of the room,
I could feel the anger radiating off of Brad.  He was really holding it back while we were in the room with the girls.  “Why don’t we head outside, get some fresh air.”  I try to keep my voice light so I can try to control the mood this conversation starts in.

“You think that’s wise with all the damn cameras out there?  We won’t have a moment of privacy, not to mention I don’t need to read our conversation all over the tabloids tomorrow, Laney.”

“Okay.”  I try to think.  We pass a nurses station.  “Excuse
me,
”  I
say to get one of the nurse’s attention, “I would appreciate it if there was somewhere private my ex,
and I could talk.  My husband, Nathan Whitmore, is sitting in with our girls and their
father, and I need a moment.”

“Oh no problem, Mrs. Whitmore, you can go to the first floor and ask for the staff lunch area.  It’s a pretty large area so you shouldn’t have any problems.  I’ll call down and let them know to expect you.” 

“Thank you so much.”  I give her a smile and walk the rest of the way to the elevators.

We are silent as I push the button and wait for the car to reach our floor.  I stepped in and as soon as the doors shut, Brad let his feelings known.  “You did not just throw his name around to get what you want.  Damn it hasn’t even been that long and the power of that last name is getting to you.  It seems the apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree.  Like mommy like daughter.”  We stand there shoulder to shoulder as he throws the one thing in my face that he knows I cannot stand. 

“Don’t you even go there with me, Bradley.
”  I spin
around,
so I’m facing him, pointing my finger at him trying to bring my point across.  “I am doing what I need to do for my daughters.”

“Our daughters.”
  He looks over at me, still keeping his body facing forward.

“It would be nice that you remember that Brad ,the next time you try to be a one show parent making decision without so much as my thoughts on the subject, especially since I’m the one the girls have had to count on day in and day out since we split.”

“Not by my choice.”

“That is so god damn laughable because how I remember it;
I wasn't the one banging one of my co-workers. You aren’t the one who got the cute little note stating said fact on the front of your windshield.  So don’t you dare tell me about
choices.
  It was you who made all the bad ones.” 

The elevators come
to the stop and the doors open.  I immediately see the signs for the staff
lounge,
and I make my way over.  I just want to get this conversation over with so he can get his ass
home,
and I can get up there with my girls.  “Mrs. Whitmore, you can go ahead right on through, you should have as much privacy as needed.”  Before I could even address who I am and what
I need. I was ushered through with Brad following closely behind.

“Damn, it’s happening already.  The world is going to fall at the feet of Mrs. Nathan Whitmore.”

“Enough,
”  I demand as we make our way to a quiet spot in the corner of the outside lounge area.  “I don’t want to argue with you.  I don’t want to throw our mess-ups from the past in each other’s faces, Brad. Not tonight; not anytime soon.  I just want what’s best for the girls.”

“I agree, but I’m not certain we’re on the same page when it comes to what’s best, Laney.”  He
takes
a seat across from me.  “I have always taken a back seat when it’s come to the decisions which pertain to the girls.  I have sided with you when it comes to their interests and hobbies.  I
had
even sided and agreed with you when you wanted to enroll them in private school instead of public.  I’m not talking about the money factor in that little tidbit either.  But now things are different.  This isn’t about who takes piano and who doesn’t.  This is about another man coming into my, into our daughter’s lives and being a full force presence within their lives.”

“I love him, Brad.”

“Christ, Laney, you don’t even know the guy.  How are those three words that you just said supposed to make me feel better when it comes to the welfare of the
girls.”

“I know how it sounds. 
Don't you
think I have thought about that?  I thought about it the entire flight back home.  I am not the one to believe in love at first sight.  That is not how I operate, but there is just something about him Brad.  Something that I haven’t felt since my father was alive.”  I see the hurt flash through his eyes.  “I know that hurts Brad, I’m sorry, I really am.  You and I
were
over before we started.  We both know if I hadn’t gotten pregnant then we wouldn’t be together today.  We want different things
Brad,
we want different lives I think.  I want to be someone other than a wife, other than a mother.  Why do you think I fought so hard to get back into school, to get my degree, to get my career on track?”

“Yeah Street I know, I think you plowed over me and my feelings in the process.” 

“I know Brad, how I hurt you when I cut you out.  I know I didn’t act as a wife should have.  I completely blocked you out and concentrated on my studies and my girls.  But don’t you think there was a reason for that?  Don’t you think that if I truly loved you and really wanted the life that I was living that I would have done that to you?  Do you think that if you would have really loved me and was truly happy that you would have done what you did?” 

“The past is the past Laney.  It doesn’t matter how I felt
about you back then; it doesn’t matter how I may feel for you now because I can see you’ve moved on. The problem I have with that is you have moved on with a
man who you barely know, who is digging his way into our children’s lives.  They are completely enamored with
him, and they’ve known him for two seconds.” He throws his hands up in frustration.

“He has that effect on people, Brad.”

“Women, Lane.   He has that effect on women because I could care less about him, his good looks, his money, or how well he’s hung.  That information has no bearing on the fact that you are letting a total stranger get too close to the most important people in my life.” 

“Do you really think I would put the girls in a situation other than a healthy one?”

“Well, you do let you mother in their lives. 
That choice right there is one mark against you.”

“Come on Brad, do you honestly think the girls not
knowing any of their grandparents is healthy for them?  Your folks are gone
Brad;
my mother is their only living grandparent.  Believe me, if I had my way, I would have kept her away from them their whole lives. But they need the roots Brad,
and, unfortunately, she is the only option we have.”

“I know, Laney.  I know she loves them, she just has a really fucked up way to express her feelings.”

“Boy don’t I know it.”  I give him a small smile.  I reach out and take his hand from across the table.  “I know you weren’t around when my father was alive.  I know that I‘ve spoken about him enough for you to know how my life was then.  How I felt like I could conquer the world, and how all that died right along with him.  I know I don’t need to tell you again how awful and cold my mother was growing up.  The only thing that I’m grateful for when it comes to my father’s passing was when it happened and my age.  I know I wouldn’t have survived my mother if he died when I was a child.”  I try to compose myself.  “I admit
,
the way I met Nathan is something I will not rave about.  My
actions and my spontaneity are
very questionable.  But drinking or not Brad, I believe that I knew what I was doing, ah, I may not remember it, but  I believe Nathan came into my life that night for a reason.  I believe that my father is that reason.”  Brad rolls his eyes at my confession.  I clear my throat and carry on.  “I believe
that
because I have not felt this amount of peace and unconditional love since my father was alive.  I have a connection with Nathan, and it’s one that is not going to be easy to
break
if at all.  You need to trust me. You need to trust my instinct when it comes to him and when it comes to our girls because I would fight Satan himself if it meant keeping them safe.  Don’t you ever doubt my loyalties when it comes to my, our girls.”  

I watch as Laney and Brad leave the room.  Once the door clicks closed, it feels as though the room shrunk in size. 
These two little girls with hair as red as their mother's stare back at me blinking their brown eyes.
   Seeing the two of them now at the age of four almost five, just about
to enter
into school makes me wish that I was there from the beginning.  They may be identical, but seeing them now, you can tell they are their own person.   "
Yous like pwinecesses Nafin?"