Accidentally Hers (Sterling Canyon #1) (14 page)

Avery held her breath, her heart rate reaching its maximum training zone. Grey kept his head bowed, his focus on the tattoo. She was about to reach out and touch him when she heard heavy footsteps approaching.

“Grey, you back here?” Trip’s deep voice called out.

Grey snapped out of his trance, his eyes murky. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said, just as Trip entered the small office.

“Well, hello there, m’ lady.” Trip smiled when he saw her. “What brings you by after hours?”

The glint in his eye might have been charming at another time, but the mood in the room swallowed everything. He apparently sensed his misstep. “Everything okay?”

Grey stood, mindlessly twisting the bracelet. Without really looking at either Trip or Avery, he said, “Sorry. I’ve got to get some air.”

Before anyone uttered another word, he shot out the door.

“What just happened?” Trip cocked his head. “Did you give him bad news about his knee?”

Avery shook her head. “Who’s Juliette?”

Trip whistled and folded his arms in front of his chest. “How’d she come up?”

“That’s not important. What do you know about her?”

Trip sank into Grey’s chair and scrubbed one hand through his glossy, black hair. He scowled, apparently debating with himself, while drumming his fingers on the desk. “Juliette’s his story to tell, not mine.”

Trip’s surprising loyalty made her happy even though it meant she’d have to work harder for the story. At least Grey’s trust in his friend wasn’t misplaced.

“You interrupted us just when he was about to tell me.”

“Sorry.”

“She was the big love of his life?” Avery wanted confirmation of her assumption.

Trip held her gaze and nodded.

“So, why aren’t they together? Why can’t they reconcile?”

“He doesn’t like to talk about it. I’m not comfortable being in the middle of this discussion, Avery. Sorry.” Trip stood and Avery followed suit.

“Wait. Why? Is he embarrassed? Did she cheat on him or something?”

“No. Don’t even suggest something like that unless you want to see him go ballistic.” Trip started to step around her. “I think it’s time for you to go home. Talk to him tomorrow.”

Avery followed him down the hallway and to the front office. “Hold up, Trip. I’m not out to hurt Grey. I’m just trying to understand him. Why isn’t he with Juliette anymore?” She grabbed his arm. “Please, tell me.”

Trip’s expression—normally a mash-up of flirtation and devil-may-care glibness—turned stony. Avery released his arm and moved toward the door, defeated.

Just as she stepped outside, Trip stepped into the doorway. “Tread lightly.”

Avery spun around, hopeful he’d changed his mind about talking. Nope. Trip shook his head to indicate he’d say no more. He locked the door and disappeared up the interior stairwell.

She stood on the sidewalk, unable to move. A light spring breeze rustled the branches of trees budding with new leaves. Yet the cool evening air offered no relief from the pressure building in her lungs.

Was Grey upstairs, or had he gone off to walk and think? She turned and looked around. The sky had grown dark, blanketing the sidewalks in shadows, so she couldn’t see beyond the block.

Dragging herself to her car, she replayed everything from the discussion about Richard Donner, to their heated kiss, and finally the agony in Grey’s eyes when reminiscing about his beloved Juliette.

She shouldn’t have stormed his office demanding answers, and she sure shouldn’t have presumed to accuse him of being some kind of playboy.

Her eyes stung as she put the car in reverse. When she pictured Grey twisting that bracelet around and around, her throat ached.

The devotion in his voice when he spoke of Juliette had forced Avery to acknowledge an uncomfortable truth. At thirty, she’d still never experienced that level of commitment—of love—not even with Matt, with whom she’d been considering a future.

Perhaps she was incapable of loving that deeply. Maybe Kelsey had a point about her not understanding squat about romance. Had Matt sensed these deficits? Was that why he strayed? All these years she’d blamed men for the fact she couldn’t make a relationship work without losing herself. Now she had to consider an alternative.

Maybe men weren’t the problem. Maybe
she
was.

When she arrived at home, she sat in the car for an extra minute, her fingers pressed to her lips. Lips that had been burning up less than thirty minutes ago, but no longer tasted like grape-flavored sugar.

Grey had been open and honest with her tonight about his feelings. Since they first met, he’d treated her with the same direct respect, despite the fact she’d done nothing to really earn it.

And how did she reciprocate? By protecting her own interests and downplaying her feelings. Her hand slammed against the steering wheel several times.
I’m a coward.

Chapter Twelve

Grey managed to avoid bumping into Avery for the next several days—making it the shittiest week he could remember since the accident.

A dozen times or more he’d thought to call or stop by the clinic. But he’d made a fool of himself when he’d run off after getting choked up over Juliette, and he didn’t know what to say about that. He’d come off as a lunatic if he confessed to the complicated mishmash of guilt and desire, fear and need. Yet with each passing day, desire and need were winning out.

He exited Richard Donner’s clinic following his first serious therapy session with the older man, cutting through a narrow alley to get to the center of town.

He turned the corner onto Main Street and yanked open the door to Higher Grounds, where he found Trip waiting at the corner table.

“Bought you one of your girly coffees.” Trip pushed a salted caramel mocha toward Grey.

“Thanks.” Grey let the girly comment pass, seeing that Trip had picked up the tab for the seven-dollar beverage. A small luxury for some. Huge for him lately. He stretched out his legs and took a sip. Sweet Jesus, that tasted wicked good. “You said you had some good news?”

“Yeah. I’m hoping it will break this downward spiral you’ve been in lately.”

“That’d be a welcome change.” Grey leaned forward, waving a “
come-here
” signal with both hands. “Lay it on me.”

“Earlier today I convinced the Western Colorado Council of Boy Scouts to use our outfit for weekend camping and rock climbing leadership-development programs for their Majestic Mountain District troops. That’s over one thousand kids—huge pool of potential customers.” Trip grinned. “Since I’m sure we’ll kick some ass with those boys, I bet we can count on repeat business in upcoming years. I think you’ll be able to afford to hire Jon on a part-time basis to help manage those trips.”

For the first time in days, Grey felt a burden lifting off his shoulders. “That’s the best news I’ve had in weeks, Trip. You’ve really gone above and beyond.”

“I know. I’m awesome.” Trip chugged his black coffee. “You really couldn’t have hired a better employee. Oh, but please, don’t grovel.”

“Okay, I won’t.” Grey snickered. Yet he couldn’t deny how Trip had really been pulling through for him since the accident. “At the risk of increasing your oversized ego, you’ve been a great friend this year.”

“I know how you can repay me. Come out on Wednesday night.”

“What’s Wednesday night?”

“
Ladies
’ Night at On The Rocks. Sure to attract a nice crowd.” Trip outlined an hourglass shape with his hands then settled back in his chair. “Maybe Avery will show up.”

“I doubt she wants to see me.” Grey sighed at the memory of how he’d bolted from his office a few nights ago. That, and the fact he’d switched therapists.

“Do you want to see her?”

“Doesn’t matter what I want.” Grey absentmindedly stirred his coffee.

“I guess with that shitty attitude, you’re right.” Trip then leaned forward. “I’ve no idea why you’d want to saddle yourself with a girlfriend, but apparently you do. It’s pretty obvious she’s attracted to you. So get your head out of your ass and man-up. Nothing can be worse than this mopey thing you’ve got going on. Better to have it fall apart than to never take a shot.”

“This from the love guru?” Grey quirked his brow and finished his drink.

“Just one of many names women have given me over the years.” Trip’s gaze followed a cute young woman from the front door to the counter. He returned his attention to Grey and flashed a big smile. “And not even the best one.”

Grey laughed aloud.
“Your modesty must be the big attraction.”

“Not the biggest, if you catch my drift.” Trip winked at the cute girl as she walked past their table. “So are you in on Wednesday?”

“Sure, I could use a night out.” Grey’s phone vibrated on the table. He looked at the screen. “It’s my lawyer. Mind if I take it?”

“Not at all. I think I’ll see if I can catch up to the filly who just walked out the door.” Trip stood and nodded. “See you at home.”

“Hey, Warren.” Grey stretched his neck from side to side, hoping for more good news. “What’d you find out?”

“Got the evidence we needed.”

“So, it’s fair to hold the OS responsible?” Grey straightened, hope coursing through his body.

“It’s not frivolous. But for its bartender’s reckless disregard, Andy wouldn’t have been as intoxicated when he left the bar, and probably wouldn’t have hit you. That’s the whole point of the Dram shop law.” Warren cleared his throat. “I sent a claim notice and hope to hear from its insurance company fairly quickly.”

“That’s great news.” Perhaps this could help clear the way for him and Avery. “Keep me informed.”

“I’ll get back to you soon.”

Grey set the phone on the table and finished his sweet drink, which had turned a bit cold. As he stood, the text message tone went off.

Meet me at our bench at five thirty.

Grey’s heart pumped a little harder upon reading Avery’s message. God, he missed seeing her.

“In the park?” he wrote, confirming where she meant.

Yes.

He checked his watch. Fifteen minutes. He had no idea what to expect from Avery, or what he would say. Should he apologize, pretend the kiss never happened, kiss her again? Naturally that last option sounded best.

He strode out the door and walked several blocks, arriving at their bench ahead of schedule. Stretching out his bad leg, he rubbed gently behind the knee. Each day the pain receded a bit, but occasionally a tightness or sharp ache flared. White clouds rolled across the sky. A squirrel dashed up a nearby tree, birds chirped, spring flowers were blooming. A damned Disney movie going on all around him, taunting him with the promise of a fairy-tale ending.

Within five minutes, Avery arrived carrying a large manila envelope. Grey couldn’t help but smile. Although she still sported her black-and-white work attire, she was wearing a lime-green Windbreaker, blue-and-banana-yellow sneakers, and a fuchsia-and-green headband.

She took the seat beside him. The breeze ruffled her hair, carrying the minty scent of her shampoo through the air.

“Thanks for coming, Grey.”

“
No problem.
” His gaze dipped to her mouth. A bolt of energy shot through him as he remembered their kiss. Had she relived it twenty times a day like he had? “What’s up?”

“I understand why you’ve decided to work with Richard. Given
all
the circumstances, I can’t honestly argue it’s the worst decision.” She crossed her ankles, looking at her feet. Then she turned and looked him in the eye. “Still, I’m concerned about your recovery.” She handed him the packet she’d brought with her. “I’ve written out the rest of the program I’d put together for you, including depictions, timelines, and so forth. Supplement Richard’s therapy with them. And if, at any time, you change your mind or you have any questions or concerns,
please
call me.”

“Thanks, Bambi.” Grey smiled at her thoughtful gesture then held the envelope up. “This goes above and beyond the call of duty. Told ya you were a good friend.”

“I owe you at least that much. I’m not very proud of my recent behavior.” She shook her head, waving her hand in the air to brush the past aside. “Why don’t you read through those papers quickly in case you have any questions?”

Grey folded the envelope in half and shook his head. “I’ll look at it at home.” He didn’t want to read in front of Avery, Miss PhD, and have her watch him struggle with a skill she took for granted. Plus it would take him forever if he tried. “If I have any questions, I’ll give you a call. And you don’t owe me anything, by the way. In fact, I owe you an apology. A couple, actually.”

“Me? For what?”

“For starters, the way I treated you the last time we sat on this bench. I should’ve thanked you for that information instead of shutting you down—and by the way, I’m filing a claim against the OS. And the other apology is for throwing myself on you the other night and then taking off like a two-year-old. That was badly done, and I wouldn’t blame you for being uncomfortable.”

“I’m okay. Let’s call it a draw. Maybe now that we’re not working together we can be friends.” She bounced her knee for a minute in awkward silence, avoiding his gaze. Her infamous backbone seemed to melt like hot butter the instant things got personal. “And I realize this thing with the OS doesn’t clear Andy, or mean that you won’t still press your claim against him.” Avery sighed and shrugged. “Who knows, though? Maybe everything will work out for both of us.”

“I hope so.” Grey meant it. He wanted it so much. Wanted her. Wanted everything to be settled so he could move forward without making promises he couldn’t keep.

“Grey?” Avery chewed on the inside of her cheek, as if she was debating whether or not to continue. “I’m sorry about stereotyping you. And I’m really sorry it pushed you to recall painful memories.”

Instinctively, he gripped his bracelet. He glanced at Bambi and saw her pretty gold-and-blue gaze home in on his wrist. No doubt she was chewing off her tongue inside her mouth, which made him chuckle. “Go on, ask.”

Her gaze snapped to his, eyes wide and wary. “Really?”

“You want to know about Juliette, right?”

“Only if you want to tell me.” She bit her bottom lip.

Grey rolled his shoulders once and sat back. He hated talking about Juliette, especially when it wouldn’t clear all the obstacles between him and Bambi. However, he needed to prove he could be trusted with a woman’s heart. If there was one promise he
could
make right now, that was it.

When he finally started speaking, he stared at a distant tree and let the memories rush to the forefront, playing like a movie montage of his early life. “I met Juliette when I first moved to Truckee, during the fall of seventh grade. We shared the same bus. I noticed her right away because she was cute, but I didn’t talk to her at first. I was kind of a shy, scrawny kid, and I had trouble in school.”

He felt himself scowl at the memory then decided to trust Avery with the truth. “I had . . . have pretty serious dyslexia, so I didn’t do real well in class, or reading aloud, and so on. Unlike the kids who liked to pick on me, Juliette befriended me. We started sitting together on the bus, and she’d try to help me with homework. One thing led to another, and by Christmas we were ‘going steady’.”

Grey smiled at the recollection of how nervous he’d been when he’d asked her, and of all the awkward and exhilarating firsts that followed throughout the years: holding hands, kissing, “I love you’s,” and sex. “She was gentle and kind and everything good. That was it for me. We spent the next six years dating—were pretty much inseparable. After high school, she went to a local college hoping to become a teacher, and I started working half the year at Squaw Valley as a ski instructor, and the other half year as a waiter.”

Grey glanced at Bambi, whose rapt expression momentarily made him grin.

“So you broke up when she went to college?”

“No.” Grey twisted his bracelet, frowning. “I saw her every weekend during the school year, more often in the summer. When we turned twenty, we talked about getting married, but decided to wait until she finished school, mostly because we didn’t want her parents to freak out. They thought she should date around. Guess they believed she could do better than me—find a guy with a good education and less risky future. My parents loved Juliette and would’ve been supportive.”

Grey sat back and let the heaviness fill his chest as the worst moments of his life came rushing forward. Avery waited patiently, which surprised him. He looked at her, his throat tightening. “Juliette was with me at my parents’ house one weekend. My folks had gone to visit my aunt in Reno. Anyway, we’d watched a movie and gone to bed. Fooled around. Nothing unusual. Then she suddenly complained of a sharp pain in her chest and between her shoulder blades that radiated down her back.” Inadvertently, his own hand began rubbing his sternum. He envisioned her blond hair against her cheek, the pained look on her face. Remembered the gut-wrenching sound of her concerned whimper. “She wasn’t one to make a big deal out of nothing, so I took her to the emergency room. By the time we got there, she was dizzy and disoriented. I called her parents, but it was too late. When they’d arrived, she’d already died from a burst aortic aneurysm. No one even knew she had one until then.”

He heard Avery gasp yet he couldn’t look at her. He bent over, elbows on his knees, and looked at the ground. “The doctor said it wasn’t my fault, but it haunted me for a long time. Had I been too aggressive that night in bed? Had I pushed her too hard to be active on the slopes and hiking trails over the years because that’s what
I
loved to do? How had we missed the symptoms? So many questions. So much grief. But nothing—no answer—would bring her back.”

A gentle breeze wafted through the air, lifting the edges of Gray’s heavy bangs. He traced her name over his wrist. “After we buried her, I couldn’t stand to be in Truckee anymore. So I took off for Utah, then kept running. Kept moving.”

“I’m so sorry, Grey.” Avery’s eyes were teary. “That’s devastating.”

Rolling his shoulders to ease the tension, he straightened up and sank back into the bench.

“It was. For a long time, I had no interest in women. Of course, eventually I realized I couldn’t live the rest of my life without them either.” He grinned when Avery blushed. “I got the tattoo to remember Juliette and the love we shared, but I hide it because the loss still hurts even after all these years. I’ve dated around, met one or two women I remember more fondly than the rest. But, as you know, it’s not easy to fall in love.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Anyway, that’s my story.” Grey rubbed his forehead and sighed. Retelling—no—reliving that nightmare always wiped him out. He peered at Avery, who looked flushed. He’d come clean, now it was her turn. “So, how about you? Are you going to give your ex another chance?”

“No.” Avery shook her head, looking a bit surprised by his question. Grey was thankful to hear her certainty. “I’m not interested in ‘Matt and Avery 2.0.’ Our relationship was nothing like what you shared with Juliette. I’ve never had anything like that, actually. Never felt so connected or certain or . . . or loved. You’re lucky.”