Accidental Crush (9 page)

"WOW
!" all three of us say at the same time. I can't help completely forgetting how angry I am at Sid as I continue to take it all in.

"This is better
than I imagined it!" Sidney’s eyes light up.

"Nice shoes!"
a sophomore says as she passes.

Sid
turns to me. "SEE! I told you. You never listen to me."

In all the commotion I totally forgot to scan the room to see if Todd
is here yet. Just as I start my search, I see the doors open as if they are in slow motion and there he is walking through them. Once again, the entire room freezes and only Todd and my heart are moving. Actually, my heart is pounding. As he turns his head, I can see his big, gorgeous smile and his hair falling perfectly into place. Every impeccable detail is magnified and ingrained in my memory.

"Earth to Ashley
," I hear Sid say from far away. "Who are you staring at?" Her voice is getting closer, which instantly pulls me back from Todd Heaven. Oh no!
What do I say?
Take a deep breath. Play it cool.

"No one
," I quickly answer back. "The decorations. The party planning committee did a really good job." I try to cover, but Sid looks at me like I’m speaking another language. Luckily, Shane comes back holding three glasses of punch and saves me from having to answer any more questions.

"Here you go,
perfectly-spiked punch." Sid and I look at him with shock and excitement. Maybe if Sid gets drunk she’ll stop asking questions. "Kidding. Geez, really? Do you think I could do that? I mean, I would if I could, but there's no way. That table is heavily guarded."

"Thanks
, Shane," Sid and I say together. Suddenly, Shane is being lifted from behind by Brian. 

"Shane! Looks like you guys already got this party started
," Todd says to all of us. RTS is holding his hand. Why does she
always
feel the need to do that?

"How was the limo ride over here? Oh wait, you didn't take a limo
," Brian says, finding himself hysterical.

"Oh
, come on, Brian; you remember our ride freshman year. It didn’t involve a limo, either.” I can tell Todd feels bad.

“Yeah, more like the good
, old, blue Volvo station wagon. Don't worry, limos are sort of overrated anyway. At least your ride was free,” Ryan says.

"And humiliating!" I quickly
add just to him. Ryan laughs, he totally understands.

Some older brothers would like to keep distance between their younger
, less cool sisters, but that isn’t Ryan’s and Todd’s style. It’s just further proof of what great brothers they are.

"Alright
, kids, I've had enough of this freshman party. Let's go check out the place.” Brian obviously doesn’t feel the same way. He starts to pull Blythe away by the hand. Of course, Ryan and Todd are still friends with him and since Brian is a bit of an ass, they all start to disperse. No one ever said they’re perfect.

"You look really pretty
, Ashley," Blythe whispers to me, staying behind from the group.

"Thanks! I love your dress." I really
do, she is by far the best-dressed girl in the room.

"Thanks! I made it."

"You what? Really?"

"Well
, sort of. I started with a typical dress and then made some revisions so it was wearable." Ever since detention, Blythe and I kind of have this connection. Most of the juniors and seniors share Brian's thoughts on freshman, but Blythe is different. That is just one more reason why I like her.

***

Shane, Sid and I hit the dance floor.
It seems like the entire school is dancing and the DJ is playing music that could have been straight from my ipod. We are out of breath and sweating like crazy, but our adrenaline is pumping and we can’t stop. After what feels like five hours, Shane and I need a break, but Sid wants to keep going, she is either amazing or insane, I’m not sure which one.

There
are chairs lining the wall around the entire room so Shane and I go to sit down. Sidney is right about her shoes, they’ve proved to be big attention getters; especially from Simon Clark. Simon is a freshman and I guess you could call him cute. He has dark, wavy hair, and I have no idea what color his eyes are; I'll have to look next time I'm close enough.

"Sid seems to have made a new friend
," Shane says as he wipes sweat from his forehead.

"Yeah
, who knew Sid and Simon? I just can't tell if she's happy or in pain?"

"I blame the shoes for the pained look." Shane
laughs.

"I keep looking for a signal she wants to be saved
, but so far I haven't seen anything."

"Hey
, Ash, twelve o’clock." He moves just his eyes towards the dance floor and there, smack in front of us, is Blythe dancing with my brother.

"How did that happen?" Shane
asks.

"I don't know
, but I kind of love it." They aren't just dancing, they look engrossed in conversation. It’s sort of a slow song that you can either dance close or separate to and they are dancing close. Very close. Shane and I have the same thought at the same exact time and we quickly search the room for Gretchen and Brian. We both find them and whip our heads back to look at one another.

"By the refreshments table." We
say in unison and we both start laughing at how ridiculous we are being.

"Is it me or does Brian look a little angry?" Shane
asks.

"I can't tell
; I think that might just be his usual face."

"Yeah
, he always seems to be giving people the stink eye," Shane agrees.

"Can you read Gretchen?" I ask.

"She seems clueless," Shane quickly responds. I can't help but laugh at his assessment.

"What else is new?" I
ask, trying to compose myself.

As the
song ends, the next one starts and it’s officially a slow song. Our eyes stay glued to them and they
keep
dancing;
very closely
! I try not to let my mind wander to how great it would be if Ryan starting dating Blythe. I mean, not that I want Gretchen to get hurt, but...

Brian
pulls Gretchen out on the dance floor and they dance their way over to where Ryan and Blythe are. Shane and I look at each other, "Let's go." I pull him up and we start dancing together as we work our way over to them through the crowd.

"Don't get any ideas
; this is all for the sake of hearing this conversation," Shane says as we continue to slow dance our way over.

"Oh please!" I
say, reminding him how insane he sounds and how lucky he'd be if I did feel that way. Now that I think about it, this is the closest I've ever been to Shane except when we used to play house as little kids and he always wanted to be the mom. I forgot all about that. Anyway, we are on a mission and we’re finally close enough to hear without seeming completely obvious. Thankfully there are a ton of people on the dance floor at the moment.

"Hey guys! We seem to have switched dates." Brian
is sarcastic, but there are definitely some serious undertones. Blythe seems more disappointed by the interruption than Ryan, though.

"There's my gorgeous date
," Ryan says to Gretchen, "and here's your gorgeous date back." He holds Blythe's hand and gently gives it back to Brian. He should seriously go into politics; he can smooth over any hostile situation. Gretchen giggles, she seems to completely trust Ryan. I do admire that; someday I hope to trust a boy that much.

Brian and Blythe continue to slow dance next to Ryan and Gretchen
and, although Blythe is subtle—if I wasn't watching her, I'm not sure
I
would have noticed—she is definitely eyeing Ryan. I don’t think he even realizes, though.

"What do you think?" I whisper to Shane. My arms
are wrapped around his neck as we continue slow dancing to blend in with everyone else.

"I think Blythe likes your brother more
than Brian," he whispers back.

"I think you're right.” I bit
e my lower lip to try to hide my smile; I don't want to get too excited. I’ve been so caught up in what is happening with Blythe and Ryan that I completely lost track of Todd. "Hey, have you seen Todd and RTS?" Shane smiles at the reminder of my nickname for Rebecca and his eyes quickly scan the room.

"Actually
, I do see them. Look to the right." I quickly turn my head. "Your other right and this time try to be a little less obvious."

"Sorry
." I’ve never really been good with my left from my right or being subtle. As I slowly turn my head in the other direction, I spot them getting punch at the refreshment table. Sadly, they are laughing and seem to be having a good time. Not that I don't want Todd to be happy, I just want him to be happy with me.

"A little more subtle
," Shane whispers. I glance back at him, confused. "You’re staring," he mouths to me as he over enunciates each word.

"What do you want from
me? I'm not good with subtle."

"Obviously
." Shane laughs. "Okay, I can't take it anymore. Here's what I know. I mean, Rebecca swore me to secrecy, but we've been best friends for forever so I'm going to tell you. You can't tell anyone, though." I can tell he's been struggling with this, which really irritates me. How long has he known what he is about to tell me? And why is he keeping secrets for RTS? The more I think about it, the angrier I get, but I desperately want to know what he is going to say, so I just have to bite my tongue.

"Rebecca really likes Todd. When we were rehearsing for the pep rally she confided in me.
I feel bad for telling, but anyway, she talked about him. A lot. She's liked him since they were freshmen. Not just as friends. She likes, likes him."

Well
, we have that in common
, I think, but I’m not about to interrupt this confessional. Shane is on a roll.

"She's not sure if he likes her
, though, because she's had to make every move." Shane makes eye contact with me for the first time since he’s started talking and it seems like he is contemplating whether or not to say the next thing. He takes a deep breath. "She said she wonders if maybe he's on a different team." Confusion must be written all over my face because Shane continues, "You know, like maybe he likes boys more than girls."

"What?" I
say louder than I intended, making a few people turn to look at us. "Sorry," I lower my voice. "I mean, he's had girlfriends." Then I think about it;
has he?
No one really serious. "Wait, do you think?"

"I'm pretty sure it isn't true." Shane
seems fairly confident. "I honestly think he's just shy."

"Todd shy? Why? I mean
, what does he have to be shy about? He's gorgeous."

"I don't think he thinks so
," Shane says in all seriousness.

"How is it possible for him to look in the mirror and not see that?" I
think about it, it’s impossible to comprehend. He’s so perfect at everything, and girls are always practically throwing themselves at him. I need more information. "What else did she say?"

"Well
, she said they've been friends for a long time and he has never really talked about girls, at least to her. And he sends mixed signals. Like he'll hold her hand if she grabs his, but he won't ever take the lead and grab her hand."

"This
is making me really happy, but also sad.” I lower my voice, “What if she's right? What if he likes boys and not girls? I mean, he's never really had a serious girlfriend, he’s beautiful, he's a good dresser—Oh, no," I say as realization sets in; I seriously start to think she might be right.

"Ashley
, he doesn't like boys," Shane says, even more sure of himself than before.

"How do you know?" I
am convinced RTS has some valid points.

"He's
doesn’t."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know." The way he says it catches my attention. I’ve never heard Shane use this tone before, he seems so sure.

"Shane?"

"It's nothing. Never mind."

"Shane Michael Thomas, tell me how you
know
." I've heard Shane's mom use his full name my entire life whenever he was in trouble. I've never had a reason to use it before, but I feel—deep down—Shane is hiding something from me and I don’t like it at all. Maybe he knows who Todd really likes, or maybe something more than Roger and his parents’ divorce has been bothering him lately.

Shane
won’t make eye contact with me, "Just forget it, Ashley."

I pull his face toward
mine, our faces are so close I can feel his breath on my lips. I hate seeing pain in his eyes and I want to fix it. My hands are resting on either side of his chin and I am so caught up in the moment that I kiss him. I mean,
really
kiss him; not just a peck on the lips. He kisses me back, but it feels wrong, like I’m kissing my brother. This is my first official kiss and I keep trying not to ruin the moment with the flood of thoughts running through my head, but I can't help it. I can’t believe Shane and I are kissing in the middle of the dance floor in front of the entire school! He pulls away first and just stares at me.