Accidental Crush (15 page)

"Does he know you have feelings for Ryan?"

"Well, I did kiss him at Olives, that seemed to hint at it," she says sarcastically.

"Well
, I think a lot of people think that was an ‘I got caught up in the moment’ type of thing. I don't think people think you are as horrible as you think they do except maybe Gretchen." I look over at Gretch, they are deep in practice, but anyone could feel her glare from across the field. She is not happy Blythe is here; never mind talking to her boyfriend's sister. "Have you talked to Brian about it?"

"That's what I mean
, he's not really interested in ever just talking. Don't get me wrong, I've tried, but I also don't think he wants to hear what I have to say."

"Yeah
, that makes sense, I guess. I've known Brian for a long time and he's never really had a serious girlfriend. I mean, a ton of girls have wanted to be his girlfriend, but he's never seemed interested in them for more than a week or two. We always call it Brian's ‘Flavor of the Week.’"

Blythe
giggles. “Really? How long has he been like that?" I realize this is the first time I've seen her smile.

"Forever. Seriously,
since seventh grade, maybe. I think he likes that you are a challenge, but he can't handle that you don't like him as much as he likes you because that's never happened to him before." I know I should seriously stop talking, but I can't. I also know I’m not supposed to know as much as I do so I am trying to avoid regurgitating what I’ve overheard, but it is getting all jumbled in my head. I glance down at Sid who is still hanging out by the fence and Shane is next to her, I didn't even see him get here. Blythe and I must have really been engrossed in conversation for a while. I instinctually look out at the field and find Todd who is looking out of this world, as always.

"They're all really close, huh?"
she questions, noticing the direction of my gaze.

I
look back at her, startled, but hoping it reads as confusion.

"Todd, Ryan and Brian
," she answers the question she thinks my expression is asking. "Todd's been acting differently toward me since homecoming. I figured it's because he's so close with Ryan and Brian." She seems too caught up in her own emotions to realize there is something behind my gaze at Todd.

"Yeah
, they've all been best friends since they were really little, but I'm sure Todd wouldn't hold what happened against you." I try to make light of the situation.

"Thanks for listening
, Ash." She starts gathering up her book bag.

Wait
, are we finished?
I wrack my brain to figure out if there is anything else I want to ask her because I know I will think of something as soon as she leaves. "No problem, any time. Good luck with Brian." I can't think of one single thing to ask her and, before I know it, she is gone while Sid and Shane can't get up the bleachers fast enough. 

"What. Was. That
." Shane asks, gesturing in the direction Blythe just went.

"Nothing."

“What do you mean nothing, Ashley? Spill it now.” Sid crosses her arms with a scowl on her face.

“She's just upset about Brian.” I
give them details, but not everything. Something about the conversation makes me want to keep it private. After hearing her side of the story, I really like Blythe again. I understand how hard it is to like someone who doesn’t exactly like you back. I don’t, however, have the problem of one of the most popular boys in school liking me so I guess I can only relate to half of her problem.

***

The big game is exactly one week away and I’m getting nervous because Brian and Ryan still seem out of sync. It is only getting worse.

Of course, I
start my day by running into Gretchen in the bathroom. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but usually a quick smile is the extent of our conversation. She is always surrounded by her girls, yet this time, she is alone, rare
and
she actually speaks to me, even more rare.

“Hey Ash!”

I am in such shock that it takes me a second to respond. “Hi, Gretch. How’s it going?” I decide to play dumb. After all, this could merely be a courtesy hi since we are the only humans currently in the bathroom.

“It’s ok
ay.” She flashes her usual I’m-always-in-cheerleader-mode smile.

“Good.”
I’m not about to ask any other questions if she doesn’t want to talk. This is completely awkward,
just wash your hands and leave
, I keep thinking to myself. I pull out a paper towel and I am inches from being out the door.

“Actually, things aren’t good
,” she interrupts my deep concentration on hygiene.

I
look over at her and, for the first time, she isn’t wearing her plastered smile, instead she looks vulnerable, sad, real. I instantly feel bad for her. I’ve never really understood why Ryan likes Gretchen, but maybe it’s because I’ve never seen the real Gretchen.

“What’s going on?” I
question, not sure what part of ”things aren’t good” she is talking about. 

“I’m not sure if Ryan’s said anything to you about everything
, but I saw you talking to Blythe yesterday.” She nervously shifts her weight from side to side.

I nod, unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry. Never mind.” She shakes her head, it seems like she is second-guessing this conversation.

“It’s ok
ay, Gretch, I know there is something going on. I’ve seen Brian and Ryan at practice.” I figure that is safe and, if anyone else in the world—other than my parents and Todd—understands Brian and Ryan’s connection on the field, it’s Gretchen.

“Yeah. I mean
, I love your brother and I’m afraid things are changing. I’m not sure who to believe. Blythe just won’t leave him alone.” Gretchen suddenly remembers where we are and looks under the stalls to make sure no one else is here.

I
am shocked she is talking to
me
about this, she must really be desperate. “I would believe Ryan. I know he really cares about you. Honestly, even Blythe said Ryan told her he isn’t interested because of you.”

“Really? That’s not what Brian told me.” She quickly
covers her mouth with her hands. It’s obvious that she didn’t mean to let that slip by her shocked expression.

“What did Brian say?” I
try to be casual.
Brian! I knew it!
I knew he was causing more problems than there needs to be.             

“Nothing.
Don’t worry about it." She shrugs it off. "Thanks for telling me that, it means a lot.” I can see the relief on her face; her entire demeanor has changed. This talking to girls about my brother thing is still really new and uncomfortable.

“Gretchen, my brother likes you.
He wants to be with you. He’s just friends with Blythe.” I feel it needs to be said for Ryan’s sake. I don’t want her to believe whatever Brian is telling her. I also feel I should leave out the part about Blythe really liking Ryan; that’s the last thing Gretch needs to hear right now.

“Thanks
, Ashley.” Gretchen wraps her arms around me.

“No problem.”
I hug her back. I didn’t see that one coming, but I can't just stand there and not return the hug.

“Thanks again. Talk to you later
,” she says as we both walk out of the bathroom together. Ryan is already waiting for her at her locker. He seems shocked to see us walking out of the bathroom together, smiling and talking.

“Your little sister is pretty great.” I overhear her say as
she kisses him on the cheek. Ryan looks down the hall and smiles at me.

***

All
is good, at least for this afternoon. Ryan and Gretchen are pretty much back to normal and I’d like to think I deserve some of the credit. Ryan and Brian even seem to be a little more in sync today, almost back to their usual inhuman-like osmosis.

Blythe
even comes to practice and Brian spends the entire water break talking to her. She seems happy, as she looks up at me on the bleachers and smiles. Brian is only concentrating on her; I’ve never seen him like this with a girl. He grabs her hand from over the fence and pulls himself up to kiss her, which isn’t lost on all the other cheerleaders who are visibly irritated.

During the same break,
Ryan is holding Gretchen's hand and their foreheads are pressed together. They are so deep in whatever it is they are doing that they don’t even notice Brian and Blythe. This is how it should be,
finally
. An even better bonus, RTS and Todd are still at Sour Lollipops rehearsal so I don’t have to watch them “talk”. I have been so caught up in Brian and Ryan this week that I barely have had time to really think about the Todd, RTS situation, which is slightly irritating but it’s kind of nice to have something to take my mind off of it.

Just as I realize I
am awkwardly staring at Ryan and Gretch, I see Todd jogging onto the field in his pads and uniform. The sunlight dreamily bounces off his hair as he glides across the field. I have a new appreciation for his football uniform, it accentuates his every perfection; his arms are tone, his thighs look amazing, even the shoulder pads perfectly offset the side sweep of his hair. It is like I am watching a movie. How is it possible that I could have known someone so beautiful my entire life and not have realized how incredible he is until now? I now fully and truly understand his nickname at school, "God Todd".

Whoever came up with that
is a genius.

“Hi, Ashley, it’s nice to see you, too. “ I hear from far off in the distance. The voice
sounds really familiar. I turn in the direction it is coming from and Shane is standing there with his hands on his hips and an irritated look on his face.

“How many times did you say my name?” I
ask, ashamed.

“At least ten." He
looks out at the field. "He does look pretty hot in his uniform.” He smiles as he sits down next to me.

“I know, right! See, I couldn’t help it. It’s like your eyes are drawn to him.” I’m so happy Shane and I have yet one more thing in common and we can both finally be totally honest with each other.

“Where’s Sid?” I ask, realizing she is usually here when Shane comes back from rehearsal.

“I guess the band is on an
extra-long break today,” Shane says as he gestures toward the side fence with his head.

Sid and Simon
are in their own deep conversation. She really does look happy. I’m glad she’s found a boy who likes her for her. Seeing Sid and Simon makes me realize that this is exactly what Blythe meant yesterday.

Shane
leans in and lowers his voice, “But since she’s not back yet, I have to tell you, I had an interesting talk with RTS today before rehearsal.”

“Really? What did she say? Was it about Todd?” I
ask, getting excited.

“No, it
was about the weather, but I thought you’d be interested. Of course it’s about Todd.”

“HA. HA. You’re so funny.”

“I asked how things were going with Todd,” Shane says matter of factly.

“You did?” I smack him on the shoulder.

“Well, I was curious and you were never going to ask. Anyway, she said things were good, but she was getting a little frustrated because he didn’t seem to want to even hold hands at school.” 

“Are you sure he’s not on your team?” I
question, only half joking.

“Ashley, I’m sure." Shane
looks out at the field to watch the team running drills. "She started talking about the tension between Brian and Ryan like it was a given and everyone knew about it. She said it’s really bothering Todd.” 

“Has Todd said anything to you?” I figure they
are at practice together every day, so maybe he’s mentioned it to Shane, too.

“No. Nothing.” Shane
shakes his head.

“Well RTS is
besties with Gretchen, so I’m sure she knows about everything.” 

“True, but do you think Todd's just using this whole thing as an excuse to avoid getting more serious with RTS? I mean, you can see Ryan really likes Gretchen. It’s not like
that with Todd and RTS,” Shane says, theorizing. 

I
feel a surge of joy race through my body. I’ve been thinking the exact same thing since they "officially" started dating, but I thought it was just my wishful thinking. 

“You were thinking the same thing, weren’t you?” He
tries to hide his smile. He knows me too well. 

“Well, I’ve thought that from the beginning, but I think I just want it to be true; I’m not sure it really is.”

“I think you're right. “ Shane smiles.

“Really? You do?” I
can’t contain my excitement. “Wait. About what part? It being true or me wanting it to be true?" 

"That Todd doesn't really like RTS as much as she likes him."