Abuse: The Complete Trilogy (80 page)

“Like cures like. Hippocrates, the father of medicine
stated, ‘By similar things a disease is produced and through the application of
the like is cured.’ I have found this to be true for mind, heart and soul. If a
beating has harmed you?
Eh bien,
be comforted, for
a beating, it
can cure you.”

— André
Chevalier

~~~

Grant
Wilkinson

Renata stands
up, hesitates for a moment then walks to my side.

“I think you’re
so brave to do this, sweetheart,” I encourage. “I know how frightening this
kind of thing might be for you. Do you want to spank me first?”

Her expression
incredulous, she laughs. “Are you serious?”

I stare at her
with a perfectly straight face. “Of course, I’m serious. I’ll do whatever you
need. Anything. Everything. There’s nothing I won’t do for you.”

Her face screws
up. Is she going to cry?
Jesus.
When she abruptly leaps on to my lap, I
brace myself for impact as much as for the emotional fallout I anticipate. She
barely misses my erection—thank God. Throwing her arms around me, she presses
her breasts against my chest.

Shit.
She
is
crying.

Renata never
hides her feelings with me. Her tears used to be disturbing. Now, I’m
flattered. I’m safe for her to cry on and it’s an honor. Not everyone merits
that special distinction.

I pat her back,
stroking her, waiting. Her breath hitches as she cries. “Are you all right,
darlin’?” I ask.

She sniffs, but
doesn’t let go. “I’ll be OK in a minute,” she rasps. Time passes, five minutes,
ten. Should I get her a drink or something? I continue to run my hands up and
down her back. Caressing. Soothing. Finally she pulls back to look at me.

“Sorry.”

“What for?”

“For crying all
over you.”

“You can do that
anytime.”

Our eyes lock. I
hate to see her cry, but she knows I mean what I say. Good times, bad times,
I’ll always be there for her—just as she’s been for me. Maybe that’s what love
is.

“Thank you,” she
whispers.

I know why she’s
crying. The passing of her mother and brother and the happy childhood she was
robbed of, left a dark emptiness deep in her soul. Renata needs to be needed
and I need her desperately. I’m her family now, her future. Knowing that makes
her happy.

Sometimes when
she’s really happy, it’s too much emotion for her to keep inside. That’s when
she cries.

“I love you,” I
say unnecessarily. She already knows this, but it’s good for her to hear the
words.

She sniffs
adorably. I pick her up off my lap, set her down on the couch and walk over to
the bedside table for a box of tissues, I bring them back and offer them to
her. She blows her nose, loud and long.

Not the most
ladylike thing she’s ever done, she sounds like a foghorn.

We both laugh,
it changes the atmosphere. The mood lightens as tension dissipates with our
laughter. Her face is blotchy, but her breathing has returned to normal.

“I love you,
too,” she says, in control of herself again.

I smile. “I
know.” I pat my thigh. “You still up for this?”

She nods.

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

She lays on her
stomach, arranging herself across my thighs, my erection at her waist. Her head
hangs upside down, her ass canted upward, ready for me. Molten desire fires my
blood.

Having this
beautiful woman spread across my lap is agony and ecstasy. My pulse quickens as
anticipation builds. I place a palm on her buttocks and one on her shoulder. I
have to put my hands somewhere, right? But my palms burn where they contact her
skin.

This is sexy
as all fuck.

I clear my
throat. “How does this feel? OK?” I ask.

She giggles.
“Not bad, a little disorienting. I definitely feel like I’m at your mercy. I
can’t see anything with all my hair hanging down, covering my face. I may as
well be wearing a blindfold.”

I snicker.
“Kinky,” I tease. “We can do that if you want.”

“Ha, ha,” she
says. Then, after a short pause she adds, “Maybe later.”

“OK.” Shit. I
was joking, but now she’s got me thinking about it.

I begin to
stroke her back and buttocks. Caressing and massaging, I skim her hips as well
as inside and outside of her thighs. Doing this feels natural running my hands
all over her, at least at every place I can easily reach.

“Mmm,” she
murmurs.

“You like that?”
I ask.

“Oh, yeah.”

“I do too,” I
say in a low voice. “Spread your legs,” I tell her, breathing in sharply at her
instant compliance. It’s such a turn on when she does exactly as I say. “That’s
right, good.”

I immediately
begin to finger her, to the sound of her muted moans. I could do this all day.
“Mmm. You’re so beautiful. I love playing with you.”

She mumbles
something barely intelligible, asking why I haven’t started spanking her.

“Because, I
think it’s better to go for pleasure, before we get into pain,” I tell her.

I'm following my
heart as well as gut impulse. I'm also using information I gleaned from my
research. Getting her excited will dull her pain to an extent. I know there are
ways to prepare her body as best I can to accept the punishment I'll be doling
out.

Plus, I don't
need any excuse to play with her. I simply love doing it. Doing it while being close
enough to bite her ass? Well, that’s heaven.

With one hand
fondling between her legs, I use the other to squeeze and massage her buttocks.
My breathing becomes ragged from all of the erotic images going through my
mind. I can’t help it. I just have a huge thing about her ass.

“Are you ready?”
I finally ask.

“Um… I think so.”
Her voice quivers with trepidation.

I frown,
hesitate. “Renata—”

“No, no,” she
cuts me off abruptly. “I’m ready. Go ahead. Spank me.”

Without further
warning, I spank one white buttock.

Slap!

It’s hardly a
tap, but it makes a nice sound. She shivers violently. Is her reaction from
fear or arousal?

“OK?”

“Yeah, do some
more. That didn’t hurt, not really. It felt… interesting.”

Slap! Slap!
Slap!

My palm
descends, landing on her butt cheeks again and again, alternating sides. My
palm begins to tingle and feel warm, so the more sensitive flesh on her
buttocks must feel the effects, as well.

I try to make my
slaps feel more like an intense massage, soft and rhythmic. I’m going for
erotic sensation. She squirms, panting and gasping. Anxious, I stop for a moment
to stroke her. She doesn’t ask to stop. Maybe she likes this?

Slap! Slap!
Slap!

What I’m doing
can’t possibly be painful—except for me. This gnawing ache! I need release.
Having her mighty fine ass right here in front of me isn’t helping.

Slap! Slap!
Slap!

The sound of my
hand spanking her bare bottom is sexy as hell. I love the way her flesh jiggles
with each impact. I keep thinking about how similar it would look if I was
pounding into her asshole repeatedly with my cock—as if I'd ever allow myself
that sick pleasure.

Raw desire
combined with self-loathing tear through me, tangled irrevocably together. I
wish those images and impulses would leave my mind and stay away. Yet, being
this focused on her incredibly irresistible ass, that’s not going to happen.

Her smooth, white
skin is turning pinker with every blow. Her flesh feels soft and warm, while
I’m hard as rock, an inferno of inner heat, burning with overpowering lust. I
want to touch and lick her all over. I long to watch my cum jet on and in every
part of her body. I want to fuck her ass, her pussy, her breasts, and her
mouth.

I imagine seeing
my semen ooze and drip from her every opening.
Fuck. So damn hot!
I need
Renata. I need to have her, to keep her, to consume her completely.

Slap! Slap! Slap!

Greedy for her
body, I continue to pleasure her. My hand is drenched from her arousal. I play
between her legs, parting her folds, entering her with two fingers and lightly
stimulating her clit with my thumb.

Whimpering, she
moans again and again in an unbroken song of bliss. Oh yeah, she likes this. I
bet I can make her come.

Slap! Slap!
Slap!

I begin to
strike her slightly harder, because I think that’s what she wants. The flat of
my hand hits her buttocks, first one side and then the other. Her breath is
ragged and heavy, her body shudders. Is this really arousing her? Or terrifying
her?

I stop and
stroke her pretty pink ass. She makes a sound, a quiet sigh, confirmation that
she loves my touch.

“Still OK?” I
ask.

“
Mmm
.”

Fuck. Is she
really getting off on this?

Encouraged, I
use both hands to explore her backside, her flank and the curve of her back. I
see why artists draw the female form; it has such a unique, enticing beauty. I
caress down her spine. With my fingers I spread her cheeks, drawn to that small
rosebud entry point that taunts me so completely. I squeeze, massage and stare.
Christ Almighty, she’s so fucking hot.

“OK?” I growl, a
rough, low sound. “Not scared?”

She moans.

“More? Should I
go harder? Or was that hard enough?”

“I need to feel
pain,” she says, tensing suddenly as if expecting a painful blow. “The sound
freaked me out, but I’m used to it now. I feel a kind of burning sting from
what you’re doing, but it’s not bad. Right after you strike me, it turns into a
kind of warm, pleasant glow. It isn’t uncomfortable. If anything it’s a huge
turn on. But I need it to hurt, so I can learn
not
to fear pain.”

I don’t want
to hurt her.

I take a deep
breath. “If that’s what you need, I can make it hurt.”

“For
erotically intelligent couples, love is a vessel that contains both security
and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time.
Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning. They know that they
have years in which to deepen their connection, to experiment, to regress, and
even to fail. They see their relationship as something alive and ongoing, not a
fait accompli. It’s a story that they are writing together, one with many
chapters, and neither partner knows how it will end. There’s always a place
they haven’t gone yet, always something about the other still to be
discovered.”

―
Esther Perel

~~~

Grant
Wilkinson

It’s my job to
help Renata as she's helped me, despite my misgivings and inner conflicts. Her
wellbeing comes before my own, even though the idea of inflicting pain on her
kills me.

“Are you
sure
you’re sure?”

“Yes. André
thinks this will help me. I do too, so go ahead.” Her body tenses again.

I clear my
throat. I’m
so
not ready for this. I never want to cause her pain. Not
now.
Not ever.
But if she wants this, if she needs it… I’ll do it,
for
her.

“I’ll give you
plenty of warning before I hit you harder, so just relax, for now,” I say
reassuringly.

I decide to put
the whole pain thing off for now. No hurry, right? Instead I focus on bringing
her close to orgasm again and again through finger fucking and gentle,
rhythmic, spanks. She enjoys this and I do too.

Impulsively, I
bend forward and use both hands to grab her butt cheeks, spreading them apart
enough to fully view the puckered ring of her anus. I groan with need. I want
to, but I could never touch her there. Instead I kiss, lick and nibble her
gorgeous ass. Her skin radiates heat wherever I’ve hit her. She’s salty, sweaty
and so, so soft.

“Lord, you’re
beautiful,” I tell her in a husky, lust-filled growl.

Slap! Slap!
Slap!

I tip her bottom
closer to me and tilt it to a more accessible angle, unable to resist tasting
her. With my nose and mouth—in fact, my whole head down between her legs, I
suckle her pulsing clitoris, moaning from the intensity of my delight.

“Grant,” she
screams.

It dawns on me
that the vibrations from humming must feel similar to her as when she hums with
my dick in her mouth. Fucking hell, that's hot.

I pull back
before she climaxes, but clearly she’s in the zone. We’ve been doing this for at
least forty minutes by now. That's not even including the time we spent
torturing each other with the "Stop, Stop" game.

Trembling, she
writhes and squirms on my lap. Almost anything will send her over at this point.
Her entire body has been transformed into one big, throbbing, hungry clit.

Good.

A peculiar sense
of power, anxiety, excitement and arousal runs through me. I can’t put it off
any longer. It’s time for the pain part of this crazy exercise. Lord, I hope
she can take it.

I hope I can
too.

I take a deep,
fortifying breath. “OK, darlin’, this is going to hurt. Ready?”

“Yes, God yes!”
she gasps.
“Please!”

Slap!

I slap her ass,
hitting both cheeks at the same time
hard.
She tenses, her whole body as
taut as a board—it’s an instant, convulsive reaction.

“Ahhhhh!”

The shocking
scream that shrieks from her mouth astonishes me. Is it the sound of agony or
ecstasy?

Oh, it’s ecstasy
all right. She climaxes with a scream so loud, I worry my neighbors will call
the police.

Renata explodes
into a mind-blowing orgasm. It crashes over her. Shuddering and trembling, she jerks
with convulsions as though she’s touched a live wire.

I throw myself
upon her, embracing her so she doesn’t fall off my lap. I’ve never seen
anything like it. I didn’t expect her to come, not from pain! Abruptly, her
entire body relaxes, she collapses over me, draped across my lap like a limp
rag.

Jesus, have I
killed her?

I stare at her
observing her with fear. After brief seconds, I know she’s still alive. I can
feel her breathing.

That was
spectacular! Shit.

Yet, as I look
at her lying there practically lifeless after such a violent physical display,
I can’t help but be concerned. I gather her up in my arms, walk her over and
lay her down on the bed. Her eyes are closed.

“Renata?” I
gasp, anxiously shaking her.

Lips parted, her
eyes open slowly. Hooded, dark, dark, blue, they are super dilated. She’s looks
drugged. Dazed.

“Are you all
right?” I ask.

“Mmm… best
orgasm I’ve ever had,” she slurs.

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah.”

I’m strung out
with roiling emotions from confusion and anxiety, to awe and pride, yet one
primal impulse overtakes everything. My poor, neglected cock reminds me that I
have to bury myself inside of her
now.

“I need to fuck
you, sweetheart. God, I have to fuck you hard and fast. Do you mind? Can you go
again?”

“Knock yourself
out,” she murmurs in her hazy afterglow. “I think I owe you a kidney or some other
vital organ… definitely
something.
" Smiling, her eyes half-mast,
Renata’s face is flushed. She looks more relaxed than I've ever seen her. “I’m
up for anything… after that,” she says, as her eyes close in bliss or
exhaustion.

“I’m going to
pound you so fucking hard,” I warn her.

“Mmm,” she
breaths.

Good.

Limp and
boneless, I place her exactly as I want her. I spread her legs, bend her knees
up and position myself between them. After drenching my cock with her slick,
silky arousal, I tease her folds and circle her clit.

I can tell she
likes that as she whimpers and arches toward me, but I know what she’ll like
even more. With one quick thrust, I slam inside of her with a grunt of profound
pleasure.

As I enter her
welcoming heat, she makes a soft cry of enjoyment.

So swollen,
so tight.

Balls deep, I
freeze, allowing her time to accommodate me. My entire body hardens, every
muscle straining as I force myself not to move. The sensation of having her firmly
stretched around my dick almost makes me come. I ache, but I withhold myself,
resisting the urge to rapidly and repeatedly hammer myself into her.

I need to fuck
her
hard
, and
fast,
and
right the fuck now.

“Look at me,
darlin’,” I pant, struggling to concentrate.

Her dreamy eyes
open, they focus on me. She raises one languid arm, runs her hand through my
hair… and smiles.

“Christ, you
feel so good,” I rasp.

“You do too.”

She’s OK—there’s
no reason to hold back.
Thank, God.
My cock feels as though it’s swelling
further, pulsing hot with blood. My balls are so damn tight. It won’t take long
for me to climax.

“I’m going to
fuck you so hard, darlin’. Your legs are going to be jelly. I’m going to have
to rent a wheelchair for you to use for the rest of the week, because you’re
not going to be able to stand.”

She snickers
joyously at this threat.

Enflamed beyond
arousal, I grip her hips tightly as I begin to ravage her. She cries out each
time I pound into her. My hips slap against hers and her body lifts off the bed
with the impact from every punishing thrust.

I used to be concerned
over the sensual, yet savage demands I make on her body. I don’t worry anymore.
Renata’s up for down and dirty.

She loves quick,
rough sex.

To my surprise,
her back arches. Her fingernails claw my forearms. A cry of intense arousal
escapes her lips as she begins to strain and buck, her muscles trembling.

Sweet baby
Jesus, she’s right there with me! My horny little slut is every bit as feral an
animal as I am.
God, I love that about her.
She's going to climax,
again!

I
do this
to her,
I
make her feel this way.

It’s
extraordinary. I’m so glad I’m a man. I’m glad I’m alive. A powerful sense of
purpose fills me. I’m here
for her.
Renata is
mine.
Mine to love,
cherish and to fuck into oblivion and beyond.

I reach my thumb
down to massage her clit—it’s slick and swollen, as hard and erect as my cock.
As I tease, tap and masturbate her sensitive flesh, her gasp of delight
ratchets my need.

Tight and hot,
her inner channel begins to pulse along my shaft, squeezing and milking my
dick.

“Fuck,” I shout,
slamming into her as deep as I can. “Fuck. It’s too good.”

Her body is
trying to make me come, it wants my seed. Renata feels complete when she sucks
in every drop of my cum. Not only that, by gripping me, I know it won’t be
long. She’s going to come again,
very soon.

Shutting my
eyes, I think about her beautiful ass—its shape, its softness and the
handprints I left, marking her as mine. I visualize spreading her butt cheeks
and pressing the head of my cock against her rear entry. With each powerful
thrust, I imagine taking her
there
, driving myself deep into her dark,
forbidden hole.

“Oh, shit, oh,
God...” she wails in a broken sob.

“Come for me,” I
growl, pressing my thumb down on her swollen nub. “I want to feel you squeeze
my cock,
right
now.
”

Instantly, we
both explode into orgasm.

I throw my head
back as I slam into her, shuddering with pure pleasure. Her tight channel
clenches, bearing down on my shaft almost to the point of pain. Her frenzied
cry of completion excites me further.

My mind is
filled with images of her perfect backside. I see her round, white buttocks
moving with my every thrust. She cries out with pleasure, louder and louder
each time. Her ass is marked pink with handprints from my own hand.

I imagine I’m
coming, pounding inside of her tight, hot asshole.

Squirming with
need, in my mind I swear I can hear her begging for it. She’s on her knees, her
face pressed against the sheets, her soft breasts bouncing. Desperate for my
cock, she holds her butt cheeks apart with each hand.

I imagine her
screaming,
‘Fuck me, Grant! Deeper! Harder! Yes! Yes! I love your thick cock!
I love you filling my ass!’

Fierce and
unrestrained, savage with need, in my mind I
am
taking her
there.

My hips jerk as
I jackhammer into her, shooting my seed deep inside of her. With a feral growl,
I snarl her name as the orgasm continues to tear through me. My groan of
release is long and loud.

Mindless with
pleasure, blind with ecstasy, I pump my cum into her again and again and again.