Absolution (4 page)

Darkness pulled me in the direction of their bedroom. Splintering fear shot through my body. I reached for the doorknob.

“What’re you doing?” Luke whispered, following me.

I held my hand up to silence him. Luke still didn’t know I could see evil. Now wasn’t the time to drop that bomb. I wanted to help my parents if I could, as carefully as I could.

Dad’s voice was low and hard, mixing with Mom’s high pitch, the two tones reeking of sarcasm, and snapping with ugliness, specific words muffled through the closed door. Flushed with fear and frustration, I blew out a breath, turned on my heel and marched to Abria’s room.

“I just put her to bed, don’t wake her,” Luke hissed over my shoulder.

We both knew putting Abria to bed didn’t mean she actually went to sleep. I opened her door.

Abria jumped on the bed like a gymnast, glee on her face. Matthias stood ready to catch her.

My breath caught at the sight of him: radiant purity. A vision of beauty and peace that stilled my worried soul and lifted me on eyesight.

Behind me, Luke stuttered, “Oh, wow…it’s him.”

Luke’s milk-white face and open mouth reminded me that he still wasn’t used to seeing Matthias. At least he hadn’t passed out like the last two times he saw him. I tugged Luke through the door, shut it and faced the man I loved.

“Zoe.” Matthias smiled.

“Hey.” I didn’t care that my voice sounded insipidly happy to see him.

You’re beautiful, I thought knowing full well Matthias would overhear. My love for him was no secret.
I feel so much better knowing you’re here.

That’s why I came.

Abria giggled, jumping higher. And higher. Her head nearly hit the ceiling. Matthias swept her into his arms and hugged her. “You little monkey.

Careful.”

“Man, this is so wild,” Luke murmured.

“Plenty wild,” Matthias said, tapping Abria on the tip of her nose.

“Wild little monkey.”

“Monkey,” Abria said, clear and crisp.

Luke and I exchanged glances of surprise. Any time Abria spoke coherently was a time to celebrate; most of her communications a garbled mess of sounds without clarity. Matthias’ touch not only comforted me and Luke, but from Abria’s consistent reaction to being in his presence, something about him loosened Abria’s tongue, enabling her to speak.

I almost forgot why I was there. This time, I’d get rid of Albert by myself.

I headed for the door. Matthias blocked it. How he moved so fast was part of the miracle of who he was. I didn’t question or doubt, but was still amazed by his angelic powers. His clear blue eyes looked earnestly into mine.

You weren’t kidding when you said Albert was relentless.

Matthias nodded.
He is powerful and dangerous.

“I know. But I got rid of him twice already. I can do it again.”

“Bearcat.” The corner of his lip lifted.

Tempted as I was to let him kick his father out, I didn’t want Albert thinking I was a pushover. I had respect for forces both evil and good, but I relished the opportunity to force Albert out of our house. Even knowing he’d come back.

“Where are you going?” Luke eyed me.

I opened the door. “To kick some seriously wicked butt.”

I took off down the hall, adrenaline pulsing courage through my veins.

“Can she do that?” Luke’s query brought a grin to my lips in spite of the fear jangling my nerves at the thought of confronting Albert.

“She’s a sassy little sheba,” Matthias replied. “She can do anything she wants.”

Exactly.

My parent’s voices boomed from behind the closed door, like an angry pianist taking his frustration out on the keys, inharmonious chords belting into the air.

“We trusted her!” Mom.

“We can’t be sure she’s still drinking.” My heart plummeted to my feet.

They were talking about me.

I came to an abrupt halt. Why didn’t Mom trust me? How could they think I was still drinking? I thought we were miles past that.

“I can look at her and tell you she’s on something,” Mom hissed.

I thrust open the door. Mom and Dad stood facing each other at the foot of their four-poster bed. Mom’s arms were crossed tight over her chest; Dad’s hands set immobile on his hips. Albert lay in the middle of their bed propped on his side, as if watching a sick reality show on TV. A grin split his lips upward. Every frustrated, confused thought I had about my parents’

perception of me flew out of my system at the sight of him.

The instant I entered the room, his grin widened. “What? No Abria?”

My speeding heart caught on my breath. I ignored him.

“Zoe!” Dad’s body tensed. “Your mother and I are in the middle of—”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I dug deep for the calm I’d felt seconds ago in Matthias’ presence. “I heard you guys arguing. I wanted to help.”

“You don’t barge into a private conversation, I don’t care how much you want to help. You knock first,” Dad boiled.

“Okay, you’re right. Sorry.”

Their taut faces stirred with wariness, unasked questions and frustration.

“I know I’ve been acting weird lately,” I said, stepping forward. “I need to tell you something.”

Albert shifted on the bed.

Fear flashed on Mom and Dad’s faces. As if their minds raced with the worst news, a truth they hoped had only been yet another nightmare neither wanted to experience over again their bodies seemed to brace.

The mood in the room had a definitive shift from high burn to rolling boil. “I’m not drinking.”

Mom folded her arms over her chest. “You were listening to us?”

“I couldn’t help it, you guys were yelling.”

“Since when is it okay for you to listen at our—”

“Let her say what she wants to say, Debbie.”

Mom’s eyes blazed. She stiffened, arms tightening across her chest.

I took a deep breath. Noticed that Albert’s brows now drew in a line across his face. The day had been long, rough and it seemed as though conflicts would never end.

“I’m not sure why you think I’m drinking again, but—”

“How about the fact that you randomly talk to yourself,” Mom said.

“Like you have countless times lately. You think we aren’t going to notice?”

“Debbie,” Dad broke in.

“What? You told me she was in the living room talking to the couch just a few minutes ago.”

I scrubbed my hands down my face. “Okay, okay, I have been doing that, yes. But I haven’t been drinking or using or anything like that.”

“Then what is it?” Mom cocked a hip. Her arms remained folded.

Would they believe me? I had to tell them something. They waited, their stares cutting into me.

Albert sat upright, his face paling.

“I…”

Weston had believed me. Luke, too. But he’d also seen Matthias. How would they take news of their daughter telling them that she saw spirits? Not only saw them, but interacted with them?

Was in love with one?

I didn’t need to share that little piece of information.

“Okay. This is… hard for me to express, so hang on. I… something happened to me before the accident. I… saw…”
They’ll never believe me. They’ll
think I’m a freak. I can’t do this to them. Yes you can. You can do this.

I sucked in a long breath. “I saw a heavenly being in the car with me before the accident.”

Mom’s eyes widened. Her arms gradually loosened from the tense grip they had around her body since I’d burst through the door. Dad blinked, but his expression remained steady and I knew Dad was close to understanding and believing what I was telling him.

“He was there to comfort me.” Speaking of Matthias shifted my nervous tone to awe and respect. “He was real. As real as you and me. He’s… I know it sounds outrageous, but… he’s a guardian angel.”

Silence.

Thinking of Matthias sent an extra measure of strength into my being, a palpable comfort I felt from head to toe. I closed my eyes, overcome.

When my eyes opened again, I found Mom and Dad focused on my face, their expressions stunned. Did they see the change? The light? Neither spoke for a few long seconds.

Albert was gone.

Relief and hope filled me.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Dad’s voice was barely above a whisper. I was sure he believed in such things as guardian angels. He had a firm belief in God. Maybe it wasn’t too much to hope that he believed me.

Another deep breath. “Well, before the truck hit me, I saw him. Sitting in the seat—the passenger seat. He told me not to be afraid. And I wasn’t.

You have to understand that you can’t be afraid when he’s around because it’s impossible. He radiates this… this comfort and peace and joy and it’s the coolest most powerful feeling in the world and it takes you over. I mean, not takes over but the power is so real there’s no denying it. There’s nothing like it in the world. It’s absolutely—”

“Zoe,” Mom blinked hard. “Are you sure this didn’t happen after the accident? Maybe you had a near death experience or something.”

I’d definitely had a near death experience. “Mom. Yes. I had a near death experience. I died. This happened before the accident.”

More silence. Not heavy, not angry. Ponderous.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dad’s voice was soft.

Now, their expressions were wounded. “I wasn’t sure you’d believe me. What happened to me was so miraculous, I…” My heart swelled and tears filled my eyes. “It’s special to me. I’m sorry. I was dealing with a lot.

Recovering—”

“I understand.” Dad held up a hand. “You’re right.”

More silence dragged by.

“I know it’s a lot to think about. But it’s real. It happened. Since then, I’ve seen him again. He’s… he’s Abria’s guardian angel.”

Mom’s hand flew to her mouth. Her blue eyes grew wide with—shock?

Did she think I was lying and had gone too far? Dad didn’t move. His even expression only became more alert, his eyes piercing me as if probing for a lie.

I could go off on a tangent, trying to prove what was true, but I remained silent. Waiting. Hoping their hearts were open enough that Matthias’ presence could work its way in, that the undeniable, tangible feeling would leave them as convinced as if they could see him for themselves.

“You’re serious,” Mom whispered.

I nodded.

When neither of them said anything, panic scratched its way up my spine. If they didn’t believe me, I’d be seeing a psychiatrist at the very least, sent to a mental hospital at the worst.

I kept my gaze on my parents, but turned my head toward the open door. “Luke!”

“Yeah?” His voice came from Abria’s bedroom.

“Come here, will you?”

“K.” I heard Abria’s bedroom door close.

“Luke knows about this?” Mom gasped through her fingers.

Luke appeared, his gaze flicking from me, to Mom and Dad.

“I told Mom and Dad about Matthias,” I said gently. His eyes grew to saucers. The dense air surrounding us became prickly.

Luke shoved his hands into his front pockets. “Um… yeah. She’s telling the truth.”

Another gasp from Mom. Her fingers closed over her mouth, sending the skin on her face around her hand white.

“Luke’s seen him too,” I said.

Chapter Four

____________________

“Well done, Zoe, well done.” Matthias’s glowing countenance lit the dark hall outside Mom and Dad’s bedroom.

My limbs sagged, drained of the last bit of energy. Admitting to my parents that I saw Matthias lifted a weighty load from my shoulders, leaving me deeply relieved. I wasn’t sure how things would be in the morning, but I was pretty sure they’d have plenty of questions.

I dragged myself to my bedroom, more than ready to say goodnight to the longest day of my life. Matthias’ face grew sober, his blue eyes steady on mine. “I’m sorry.”

“For?” I flicked on the light and entered, wobbling from exhaustion.

Matthias’ strong hands braced my shoulders. His strength filled my being, racing through my arms, core and legs.

“My father…” He studied my face, a crease forming between his brows.

“His efforts are wearing you out. Zoe, you’re a brave, sassy bearcat.” His lips lifted in a slight grin. His finger tapped my chin. “But he’s very powerful.”

“I’m getting that. But he can’t overcome a mortal, right?”

Matthias’ fingers tightened on my shoulders. His eyes crinkled in a smile. “Smart and sassy, a deadly combination. You’re ab-so-lute-ly right. Evil can’t overcome you unless you allow it to.”

“So, I have nothing to worry about, because I will never let that loser take me. Never.”

A shadow crossed his face. I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his wrists. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called him a loser.”

His hands slipped down my arms. He sighed, and slid his hands into the front pockets of his lightweight linen-white slacks. A dull ache echoed from my heart out into my limbs. Matthias’ pain. I was still getting used to our deep connection that enabled me to feel his hurts, see his memories, feel him as though we were one.

I took his hand and shut the bedroom door. I had hopes of him staying with me, and the vision flashed into my head of him holding me in his arms while I slept. My heart pattered.
Uh-oh.
The drawbacks of your guardian angel being able to hear your thoughts could be humiliating, embarrassing and recklessly human.

I was beat and was about to collapse from fatigue. Could I help it if I wanted to cuddle with him until I fell asleep? Matthias’ amused gaze shifted for a moment, meeting mine, and my bouncing heart lodged in my throat.

Cuddle?

Don’t listen to me. I’m loopy right now.

As if bricks weighted my arms and legs, I crossed to my bed and flopped, stomach-down, onto the bedspread, my limbs spread like soggy noodles. My eyes closed the minute I smelled my pillow.

“You’ve had a day.” Matthias’ voice poured over me like an invisible blanket. I closed my eyes.

The bed shifted when he sat beside me. His light caress on my head soothed any residual anxiety from the day into sweet nothingness.
Thank you.

You’re welcome.