Absolution (12 page)

Fritz!

Yes, do you need me?

Yes and no
. Luc relayed his fragmented understanding of his connection with Allana. Too dazed to think clearly, he tried to focus on a crisp request for Fritz, but suspected his fury at what Allana had endured overlaid his attempt at reason. He wanted the father of her children brought before him. Screw King Raziel and his manipulation. Allana deserved justice.

And he wanted to dispense it.

I’ll see if I can arrange for the guilty Seraphim to show himself tomorrow evening
.

Relief filled Luc. With a soft exhale, he tried to loosen his tight grip on Allana but couldn’t make himself release her. “When the Seraphim used his essence to create Sophie and Kate, he changed you, didn’t he?”

At her nod, he brushed his lips against hers then lay back and sighed. Even Fritz’s brief explanation of the physical changes required for Allana to carry a Seraphim baby didn’t ease the tight grip on his heart. This gentle creature, his soul mate, had been altered and put through hell. While he wasn’t about to show her his anger, there was a Paladin somewhere who would receive the full brunt of his rage.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. Tomorrow’s going to be a rough day.”

CHAPTER 11

Hands fisted at his side, Luc stared at Allana, curled into a ball on the bed, before he shifted his attention to the window and the clear night sky. Tomorrow, they headed for Farley’s camp. His mission required he return with her in tow. He couldn’t do it. She wasn’t a job. She was his heart. Over the years, he had lived his life responsible for every loss and hurt that occurred to those he loved. With Allana any hurt to her would be without question his fault.

A small shuffle on the bed announced she wasn’t sound sleep.

With a slow count to ten, he returned to the bed, crawled under the covers, and pulled Allana’s naked body against his. “Sweetheart, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

“I’ve failed you.”

His hand cupped her breast, and he nuzzled the curve of her neck. “How could you possibly fail me?”

“Retribution still consumes your heart. I thought if we made love, you might...”

“I might what?”

She rolled onto her back and faced him. Tears streamed down her face and saturated the pillow. “Love me as I love you. Realize we are not only soul mates, but soul bound. I hoped you would set aside your need for revenge and focus on our bonding.”

“I love you, Allana. I’ve accepted you as my mate. I did last night when we made love—both times. And again when we meet with Raziel. It is me, your mate—” His fist thumped his chest. “—who will face him.”

He eased out of the bed and retrieved his jacket. He withdrew the worn and creased copy of the picture of her from the secret compartment and handed her the pastel. “From the moment I saw your picture, I’ve searched for you.”

“To soul bond, you must let me into your soul as I have you.”

“You don’t want to be in my soul.”

“Yes I do. Without it, I am incomplete. Yet you drive me away. Anger consumes you. It taints even the tenderness you show me.”

She pushed herself onto her knees, the sheet and blankets pooling around her. She faced him as stood beside the bed. Reaching up, she held his face between both hands, and stared into his eyes. “The more people you kill, the darker your soul becomes. Even the most gentle soul can be lost to violence.”

“War demands things from people that we might not otherwise do. I kill to protect innocents.” His hand slid behind her head and fisted his fingers in her hair. “The three most recent ones were for you. To protect you. They had long since lost their humanity. Lust and the desire to inflict pain controlled them. One of the men, Crocker, used his sister and niece in a lure to trap you. If that causes me to lose my soul, so be it. But I won’t allow you to be tainted by it.”

He tried to avert his gaze, but she refused to release her hold. “You don’t understand. I’ve bonded with you. You hold a part of my soul. It is entwined with yours.”

“I felt what happened the first time we made love. It was—”

“What? What was it like, Luc.” She stared up at him. Her eyes swam with unshed tears. She licked her lips and swallowed convulsively.

“You felt it. We bonded.”

The shake of her head was a small movement, one that told him she was barely hanging onto her composure. “You didn’t bond with me. You fear I’ll reject you because of your actions. I won’t. Until you accept that, I live a half existence. Instead of strength when I meet Farley, I will be weak. Easily drained.”

Luc stretched out beside her and pulled her into his arms. “I’ve given all of me. You have my heart. I’ll protect you from Farley.”

“Fate won’t be denied without cost. If the bonding is not completed within a week of initiation, it dissolves and cannot be resurrected.”

“What in the Abyss are you talking about?”

She rested her cheek on his chest. “What you call a soul mate is different from a hIfreann soul bond.”

“How?”

“I told you, our souls join and become.”

“And if we don’t fully bond?”

She shrugged beneath his hand caressing to her shoulders. “Should the bonding not take, we will remain soul mates.”

“Allana—”

“Shush, rest. Fritz is due in an hour.” A small shudder rippled through her and she squeezed her eyes closed. Bonding was voluntary, done with love and acceptance. Should the bond fail to lock into place, Luc would lose the part of her that brought him peace, made him whole. It would feel as if she had died along with a piece of him. Every time he would look at her, he would remember what he had forfeited due his fear.

No, she refused to allow that to happen. She would return to hIfreann and not allow him that pain. Others would find her daughters. She wouldn’t stay here on Earth where he could find her. Better he deal with the hollowness and belief she had died rather than she be forced to witness his soul wither by the minute, locked in an endless mourning over what should have been.

***

Allana glanced at the clock over the fireplace. Luc said Fritz would arrive at eight. It was now nine-fifteen. “Could you contact Fritz? I know you did only a few minutes ago but…” She shrugged. “I’m worried.”

Luc looped an arm around her and pulled her to him. “I’ve tried. He was going to hIfreann to speak with King Raziel. Raziel and your girls’ father were to be with him when he returned. When Fritz makes a promise, he keeps it.”

“I have met a few of The Ten, as the gargoyles are called in hIfreann. They carry themselves and act like Paladins. But of course, they aren’t.” She rested her head on his chest. “They always meet in private with Raziel and Azreal, the King’s messenger and assassin.”

“Assassin?”

She shrugged. “Father said Azreal carries out Raziel and the Goddess’ orders. But he never touches a human norm. The Dark Lord’s minions are his only targets and objects of his wrath.”

A pulse of energy filled the room. Allana pulled free and faced the epicenter. “Can you feel it? They’re coming.”

“How do you know?”

“A hIfreann portal is opening there.” She pointed at the window next to the front door.

A second later, Fritz and a male Seraphim stepped into the room.

Allana glanced at Luc. His look of open-mouthed shock said it all. He’d never seen a Seraphim. Before them—with a much put upon glower—stood a tall male who always left her momentarily speechless. His black wings seemed to occupy half the room, absorbing all the color and light around them. Unlike Earth pictures of angels, he had three wings on each side, blended into a massive whole that brushed the ground and arched over his head.

She bowed her head, then raised her gaze to glared at the Seraphim before them. “King Raziel, I thank for agreeing to this meeting, but where is the father of my daughters?” He seemed to grow in height. Her eyes widened. She knew it was an illusion. A simple stiffening of the spine, a lift of his wings off the ground, and he gained half a foot.

“He stands before you.”

“What? How? Why?”

“You know the situation. I was called to the Abyss and forced to watch that creature fill your egg with his essence.” He arched an eyebrow and looked down his nose at her. “It was easy enough to destroy what he implanted. As we left, I replaced his with mine and created your twin daughters.” He snorted. “Beliar has forgotten that while he may rule the Abyss, he is not my equal.”

Luc moved her behind him. “Beliar?”

“The Dark Lord, my former second in command until he decided to usurp my power.”

Allana tried move to Luc’s side. When he refused to allow her beside him, she teleported to six inches from Raziel’s face. “I have a great many questions. How did the Dark Lord, or one of his minions, exchange me for that Saraph infant? Why did you lie to me about my daughters? If you could rescue me, why not my twins with me?”

Luc grabbed her hand and yanked her back to him.

“Let go, Lucan. Raziel is here, and he will answer me.” She jerked free of his hold. Fists on her hips, she leaned forward. “You are not a god, King Raziel. You are a Seraphim, a Paladin to the Goddess. How dare you play with my life and those of my kin?”

“It is a long story.”

“I have the time,” she snarled.

Raziel strode up to her. He hands rested on her shoulders. His wings enfolded her. Silence descended. In that moment, she knew whatever he said was for her alone, her burden to bear.

The king’s voice whispered across her skin, yet the tone reverberated inside her brain. “Beliar captured one of my pregnant Saraphs. Adriane and her mate were on Earth on a mission for me when she went into early labor. A Raksasha killed her mate and captured her. She gave birth to a girl named Moira. My oracles foresaw this, but not soon enough. To save the child, I suggested an exchange of infants. We did not see you with child. However, once you were captive and Beliar’s intent was clear, I did what was necessary.”

“Why?”

“Many reasons. The foretelling of the new Cáidh Arm, Moira, your daughters. You were born in Otherworld and your daughters in the Abyss. Therefore, you are not bound by the Goddess’ edict that no one born of hIfreann may attack the first Cáidh Arm. She will rise again with the aid of a human mage. Destruction will rain upon all dimensions if she is not stopped...permanently.”

“And you expect me to do what?”

“You and daughters will join forces with two others when the time is ripe.”

“How was I exchanged—surely you didn’t enter Otherworld.”

He shook his head. For the first time she saw genuine regret and sorrow on his face.

“The Dark Lord captured a young Fae couple. These innocents managed to send their infant daughter to safety before they were dragged to the Abyss to serve as slaves. They were forced to switch the babes. To keep them from refusing and dying, I promised rescue once the exchanged infants reached their power. When you have completed this journey and return to the home of your birth, inform your mother, Queen Graciela, that Cathal ó Conchobhair and his mate Biledia still live, trapped in the Abyss.”

Raziel’s wings retracted, and Luc’s yell of “Allana!” assailed her.

Luc’s hand seized her shoulder and clutched her to him before he moved her behind him. “You and I need to talk,
King
Raziel. Now. Outside.”

“Children.” With a sneer, Raziel vanished only to reappear outside with a posture of bored impatience, his feet hovering above the snow.

The door slammed behind Luc, and Allana faced Fritz. “How did you get him to agree to leave hIfreann and tell me the truth?”

“He owed you that at a minimum.”

She looked out the window and saw a stoic Raziel and an outraged Luc. Warmth stole into her.

Maybe there was hope for them.

***

Luc had known rage and fury before, but never anything like this. It pounded beneath his skin with a need to destroy. Every fiber, every nerve, every neuron pulsed, maddened, and out of control. This being could squash him like a beetle, but it wouldn’t stop him. “I know what it’s like to lose people you love. The hollow emptiness. Believing if only you had done one thing differently, your family or friends would be alive. How could you subject a gentle healer like Allana to such torment?”

“Allana understands and will perform her duty.”

“Screw duty, understanding, and forgiveness. You,
King Raziel
, played God with her life and those of her children. You sent them to Earth and forgot about them. Lost track of them. And now Deva’s teams spend precious time they don’t have scouring the world for them.”

“You know nothing.”

“I know enough to realize no self respecting man impregnates an innocent virgin. I know enough to realize you could have destroyed the Dark Lord’s essence without implanting yours. Shit, you could have rescued her, Iasan, and taken them to hIfreann. At the very least, you could have told Allana the girls were alive and well. Instead, you forced her to live with the guilt of delivering the Dark Lord’s offspring and the relief they hadn’t lived. Consequences no mother should suffer. Yet, you allowed her to agonize and long to hold and nurture her daughters.”