Absolutely Unforgivable (8 page)

Jeromy started his new job on Monday, so I wanted to spend every minute of his last day of freedom together. I suggested we hang out by the pool and I put on one of my new bikinis that he got me and met him downstairs.

There was a large stereo outside so I turned it on. I couldn’t find any station that I liked and then I realized that it had a docking station so I ran inside to grab my iPhone. I plopped it in and flipped to the first song. It was Rick Springfield,
I’ve Done Everything for You
.

I had forgotten that I downloaded his greatest hits album after that night with Billy on stage. I couldn’t seem to get the Jessie’s Girl song out of my head.
Oh well
, I shrugged.
This song is as good as any I suppose.

I didn’t think anyone was around except Jeromy and me, so I danced around like a fool, mouthing the words as if I was really singing the song, trying my best to be seductive. I remembered seeing the moves in some movie and I tried my best to mimic them, to try and turn Jeromy on.

What I didn’t know is that directly above me was Brick, who ran the band’s website. He was in Billy’s office upstairs and had a bird’s eye view of the whole show.

After my little dance for Jeromy, I walked over to him. He was lazing on a lawn chair with a big smile on his face. I came over to him and sat on his lap. I threw all of my weight onto him, forcing him to lay all of the way back.

“Did you like my dance?” I asked Jeromy seductively.

But before he could answer I leaned in and began to kiss him. I ground my body against his as he pulled me into him even tighter, deepening our kiss.

After we made love in the lawn chair, I looked around, worried that someone might have been able to see it. But Billy’s yard was big and covered with swarms of trees so I felt like I was safe from prying eyes.

That night as I fell asleep securely in Jeromy’s arms, I must have had been thinking of Billy for some reason because the thought of his sinfully delicious body crept into my dreams.

In my dream I accidentally brushed up against him as he walked past me in the living room. Without saying a word he came up behind me and our bodies started swaying to the song that was playing only in our heads.

He briskly turned me around to face him, while his hips continued rocking into mine. I licked my lips in anticipation of his kiss -- A kiss that never came. He instead grabbed the back of my head and pulled it back as he started licking my neck lustfully, just as Jeromy had done before in the dressing room. I moaned in pleasure. A tide of tempestuous, erotic desire invaded my body.

Still holding my hair, he pulled my head back up, and then forced me closer to him. We didn’t say a word or make a move. We simply gazed at each other.

“I want you,” he muttered around my lips. My heart sped at his touch. “I want inside you,” he growled in my ear. My body desperately wanted that too.

“No, I can’t. I just can’t,” I said to him softly as I tried to pull away. He grabbed my arm forcefully and pulled me back to him. His eyes blazing with desire he huskily said, “I don’t recall asking.” And with that I melted into his arms. He flipped me over and kissed me from the nape of my neck down my back slowly. I wanted him to take me now, but he took things at his own leisurely place. I gasped, overwhelmed by pleasure.

The dream must have stirred something in me because I unknowingly put my hand on Jeromy’s crotch and squeezed. My hands bearing down on his private parts woke him up and as he heard me moaning, he just decided to go with it.

While my body was screaming for Jeromy to take me, somehow in my sleep induced haze, my mind replaced the image of Jeromy with Billy. I was technically awake but overcome with confusion and a desire I had not felt before.

The next morning Jeromy had to get up for his first day of work at his new job. He rolled over to kiss me good morning like he always did and as I opened my eyes I noticed he had the biggest grin on his face. My groggy mind was trying to recall what he could possibly be so happy about this early in the morning, when he whispered “Last night was great. You really know how to send a guy off to work on a good note.”

Oh God! Last night really happened.
I grimaced as I remembered the events of the night before. My face reddened as waves of shame and guilt poured over me.

I knew you couldn’t control what you dream about. Still I couldn’t help but feel guilty about it and I really didn’t understand why I was dreaming about Billy in the first place. I have a perfect boyfriend who is gorgeous, attentive, tender, kind-hearted, decisive and strong. Just thinking about Jeromy made my stomach fill with butterflies, so why was I having naughty dreams about his best friend?

I was so embarrassed by what had happened the night before I did everything I could do to avoid even looking at Billy over breakfast. I know that Billy had no idea what had happened and it was only a dream, but still I couldn’t face him.

I looked around the room while we were eating breakfast. This was a nice house, but a home it was not. It lacked a feminine touch. The walls were rather bare and boring, so I decided that would be my project for the day while Jeromy was at work.

After breakfast I made my way to a Target to pick up a few supplies. I was going to put the money I earned from Rowdy’s to good use. I found four blank canvases and some paints. I made my way over to the home decor department and picked up a clear, large plastic tarp. I didn't want to make a mess after all. Before heading back home, I picked up a handful of black picture frames as well.

When I got back I went to the band’s website and picked a few of my favorite photos and printed them out so that I could put them in the picture frames I had just bought. I hung them up in the living room and then took the canvasses to the backyard and laid them on top of my plastic tarp.

I didn’t want to ruin my clothes so I had changed into an old bikini that I didn’t mind getting paint on. I thought about throwing on an old t-shirt and some shorts but decided against it. While painting in the backyard, I could still be getting a tan.

I knew that Brick was there with Billy and Zander but I wasn’t sure what they were doing, and I quite honestly was doing my best to avoid Billy, so I was glad they were keeping him busy.

I put my iPhone in the docking station outside and cranked up my music and danced around as I splattered various colors of paint on the four canvases in my best attempt at being creative, Jackson Pollock style.

It was getting hot by now and I wanted to cool off so I walked over to the diving board. I wondered as I approached it if I could still do the back handspring into the pool that I used to be able to do when I was younger. It had been years since I had tried but since nobody else was around, I thought
what the hell
and gave it a try.

I nailed it but as my head came up out of the water I was met with cheers from the band, who had all gathered at the open window in Billy’s office upstairs.

I tried to hide my embarrassment as I grabbed my towel and covered my body but really there was no hope of that. I went inside to shower and clean up as my artwork dried outside in the hot Houston sun.

I tried to waste time until Jeromy got home so I painted my nails pink and then my toenails and then messed with my hair some more, but eventually I was running out of things I could do to avoid leaving my room. Finally I decided to just suck it up. I was going to have to face them all eventually so I found an old pair of cutoff jean shorts to put on and a large t-shirt that hung loosely on my body.

When I walked out of my bedroom I could hear that they had made their way downstairs. There was a lot of noise so I figured they were in the game room which was next to Billy’s studio.

Still not wanting to face everyone, I made my way outside to check on my artwork. Since it was finally dry I hung it up in the living room near the photographs I had put up earlier. While I was admiring my handiwork the noise from the game room was getting louder and my curiosity finally got the better of me. I had to see what they were doing in there.

At hearing the clink of balls hitting each other, I glanced over and saw Mindy was playing pool with Darla and Starla. There were also a few others near them that I didn’t recognize. I made my way to the crowd and realized the entire band was there now and by band I mean, the band plus the sound guy Patrick, their webmaster, a handful or girls, including Mindy, Darla and Starla and their self-appointed publicist / manager named Trista who had been with the band for years now.

Billy told me that one day she approached them after a gig and offered her services, saying she would work for free because she could use the experience. It was like her own self-created internship. She was a very serious, organized person and made sure everyone else's lives were just as together. She screamed anal retentive. I remembered what Billy had told me about her before. He said that Trista was a very intense, highly focused person, who wanted everything and everyone in her life to fit into neatly organized little slots.

When I walked into the game room Trista, who was talking to Bran, stopped what she was doing and looked up at me with her mouth wide open. She stared at me and then after a moment of extreme awkwardness she leaned back into Bran. “So that’s her, huh? Damn, damn, damn, damn.”

“Yep. That’s her in all of her perky glory. Have you seen the video yet?” Bran asked Trista.

Perky? I’m not perky. At least I don’t think I am. Mindy, she’s perky. I’m far more subdued than that. And what video were they talking about?
They spoke about me like I wasn’t standing right there, in the same room. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with them. Why were they treating me like this?

“Yeah, I checked it out on my way over. This girl is going to be trouble. Big trouble,” Trista said. She was attempting to be quiet, but I was close enough to still hear every word.

I started to walk over and say something to them; but then Billy caught my eye. He was behind Trista sitting on a bar stool strumming an acoustic guitar. He played a few chords and then looked up at me with a sort of sexy half smirk. I had to catch my breath. He extended his arm, calling me over to him.

While I stood next to Billy listening to him play, I heard Trista still talking to Bran. “That one is going to be the death of him.”

I don’t think they meant for me to hear that. But I did and it kind of hurt my feelings.
What the hell was their problem?
I turned to glare at Bran in disgust and heard him say, “Well if ya gotta go, that’s one hell of a way to go,” as he eyed my ass in my cut off shorts.

I rolled my eyes at his comment. I decided not to confront them. They weren’t worth wasting my time on. Instead I turned back to give my full attention to Billy but I still couldn’t help but wonder what video they were talking about. Something about that stuck out in my mind.

And then Travis, who just seemed to have noticed my arrival, gave me a nod and a big smile “Yeah! There’s our little superstar.”

Everyone in the room stopped to face me, which caused me to blush. I wasn’t used to being the center of attention.

Mindy let out a loud squeal, ran over to me and threw her arms around me. “I’m so glad you are finally here. Ya! I missed you.” She dragged me over to a laptop sitting on a table near the back of the room. “I want to show you something. You are going to love it,” she exclaimed. “Don’t get mad, okay?”

I looked at the computer screen cautiously. “Ummm okay.” Why would I get mad? I had no idea what she was about to show me on the computer but I was pretty sure that if she had to preface it with
don’t be mad
then I probably wasn’t going to like it.

As she pulled up the band’s YouTube page I read the title of the video, ‘
Our Little Superstar ... Stacy Keller
’. Then she pushed play and I could have died, right then and there. I felt so violated. How could they do this?

The band’s webmaster had pieced together a video montage of me and just uploaded it to their YouTube page. I know he had just finished it because the video started off with a shot of me doing my back handspring off of the diving board into the swimming pool earlier today.

I cringed watching every second of the video.

After the opening shot of me doing my back handspring off of the diving board, which they played back in slow motion, the video cut to a shot of me painting in my bikini, prancing around the back yard covered in different colors of paint and then the video flashed to my dance number I had done for Jeromy the other day by the pool, when I thought we were alone.

Oh God.
Did they see everything?
I began to panic as I watched the rest.
Was this going to turn into a real life sex tape?
I pushed pause and turned to Brick demanding to know how he got this footage.

“You guys are jackasses!” I shouted as my face reddened with an angry blush.

Billy came up beside me giving me a reassuring look. “It’s not what you think,” he said softly while grabbing my hand and stroking it in an attempt to calm me.

I frowned at him and sighed as he continued. “After he recorded your dance while hanging out the window,” his eyes looking upward for just a moment as if he was showing me where they were, “I pushed him away and made him give you some privacy. I promise. He left right after. I told him it wasn’t cool that he was spying on you like that.”