Read Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch) Online
Authors: Jaclyn Hawkes
She mused almost to herself, “Sometimes when I think about it, it’s hard to even believe this is all real. A year ago I still felt like a child. Now I’m going to have one.” She picked at the edge of her cast. “If I think too much it scares me to death. How will I take care of a baby? How will I even know how to mother it?”
She could hear the worry in her own voice and he reached over to squeeze her hand. “You’re gonna do just fine. You’re kind and smart, and you’ve learned what you don’t want. There’ll be lots of people to help, and I believe our Father in Heaven gives moms special inspiration all their own to know what their children need. I think what some people call mother’s intuition is actually specific inspiration for their families. I’m sure He’ll send it to you if you ask.” What he was telling her sounded just like what Naomi had been trying to explain to her as they cooked that morning.
He continued, “I worry more about it being physically healthy, as thin as you are. Did you ever make your prenatal appointment?”
She was slow to answer and finally said, “I have no money for it and how would I get there?” She looked up at him, feeling troubled.
He glanced at her and back to the snowy driveway. “I thought we already talked about this, and you agreed to let me help you.” Pulling into his parent’s garage, he shut off the truck. When she didn’t answer him immediately, he quietly prompted her, “Talk to me Kit. What’s going on in that head of yours?” She looked up, but still didn’t answer. He went on gently, “Didn’t you already agree to let me and my family help you until you could get your feet under you?”
She nodded and said the faintest, “Yes.”
He put a finger under her chin and looked into her eyes. “So what’s bothering you then?”
With a stronger voice, she said, “It’s just hard. Sometimes I don’t feel like I should use your money and live here, and act like I belong when I’m not even in your family. Naomi talked to me yesterday about this and I know I need to accept your help. It’s just hard for me to feel like such a burden.”
“I know you feel that way, Kit, but what are the options? You can’t go back.”
He went on, “My family would rather die than have you go on welfare, but even if that’s what you wanted, it would still take documentation you haven’t got. Even a job would need ID and stuff, and I don’t think you should go anywhere near your foster father, at least until you’re eighteen and he would have no control over you.”
Shaking his head, he continued, “Even if you did get a job, it would mean a long commute or an apartment somewhere, and you’d be alone. It would still be hard to make ends meet, especially with a cast and getting further along with your baby. We’d all worry sick about you. My mother would never forgive herself.”
His voice softened, and he was almost pleading, “Wouldn’t it be better to stay with us? Let us help you. We’ll find a way to get your high school diploma. Once the baby’s here and your cast is off and you’re eighteen, we’ll help you get to college and make a living.” His tone changed, “What if we found something for you to do here to help so you didn’t feel like a burden at all? Or could you accept help now and help someone else in turn, once you’re established?”
She turned toward him. “You make it all sound so logical, but I’m still a little uncomfortable.”
He leaned back against the door thinking, and finally said, “Then do it for your baby.”
Only considering it for a second or two, she answered, “Okay.”
He undid their seatbelts. “Good! It’s the right thing to do. Good moms have prenatal care. It’s your first thing to do in raising her right.”
He came around to help her out. “How much have you driven in snow?”
Taking her hand, he tucked it around his arm to help her up the steps into the house as she answered, “I’m sorry, I’ve never driven, in snow or otherwise. I’ve never had a chance to.” She was embarrassed, but admitted, “Driver’s Ed was extra money and they wanted me home to work in the motel anyway. I’m definitely planning to learn though.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened, but his voice was kind as he said, “We’ll teach you, although snowy mountain roads are probably not the best start. For the time being, one of us will take you to the doctor. Go ahead and make your appointment. It’s important.”
As they walked into the house, she faced him. “You’re right, but can I take you up on finding ways to help so I don’t feel like so much bother?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter 5
That holiday week flew by in a flurry of family activities and outings. They had board game all-nighters and movie marathons. They went into a nearby town and rented ice skates and skated in the dark on the town pond while Kit watched from a bench to the side near a huge bonfire.
Sometimes they took snowmobiles out to check stock and then they’d play on them in the fields and hill climb. Kit had never been on a snow machine and at first had no idea how to lean to make them turn better. She rode behind Rossen and Joey and began to get the hang of it. Finally Rossen took her to an open meadow of deep powder and played so hard that she almost fell off behind him and he knew it. She could only really hold on with her right hand and as he made a hard turn she slid. Only his sudden grab saved her from toppling into the snow and her heart raced as she clung to him until he had her securely back behind him. Had she not been pregnant she would have reveled on riding wild, but she worried about the tiny person growing inside her and asked to be taken back home.
When they got there and Cooper mentioned what happened, Naomi put her hands on her hips and laid into Rossen, “Rossen Robert Rockland! Don’t you dare be so rough with her! She has to be extremely careful right now. Think how you would feel if something happened to her baby.” His face was so penitent that it made Kit laugh and it helped to ease the tension.
That night as Kit was heading to bed, he caught up with her in the hall and said, “Kit, I’m sorry again for being too out of control today. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. We’re fine.” She smiled shyly. “Actually, it was really fun. I just sometimes forget I’m somebody’s mother now and it brings a whole new set of rules. I’m sorry Naomi got upset with you.”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “She was right, and I deserved it. I’m just glad you’re both okay. I’ll do better. I promise.”
****
The next day was Sunday and this time Kit went with the family to church. Joey helped her decide what to wear and styled her hair, then she just loaded in with them all and they headed out. She'd never been inside a church in her life and had no idea what to expect, but she'd come to love and respect the Rocklands. She'd already decided that whatever it was they believed that made them the happy, honorable, good people they were, was great with her.
She wanted the values they lived in her life and her child’s life, and she knew much of what she appreciated about them stemmed from their religious
beliefs. The stark difference between the lifestyle she was living here with them and the world she'd known before, was to her a no-brainer. What they had was so much better than the rest of society, that she was thrilled to have the opportunity to be included.
Although Kit had often been timid in the past around others, her self esteem had blossomed so much here in Wyoming because of Rossen’s family, that she walked into church that morning with confidence and curiosity, rather than trepidation. And even though everything was completely new to her, she knew she was a quick study and that it would all come together for her eventually. In the meantime, she intended to soak it all up like a sponge.
They were on their way back out of the church headed for the car, when she asked Rossen, “So what do I have to do to become a member of your church?” Slade and Isabel were walking with them and when Rossen stopped in his tracks and was all but speechless, Slade elbowed him and laughed.
Slade turned to Kit and said, “Isabel and I got just about the same reaction when we asked him that, too!”
Rossen was still staring at Kit. “How do you know you want to become a member? This is your first day. You just told me you’ve never been inside a church. How can you even make a decision yet?” He was looking at her like she'd lost her mind.
Kit calmly asked him, “Is there a problem with me becoming a member?”
“No. Of course not, but Kit, this is a big decision. It can’t be taken lightly. You have to know what you’re getting into before you decide. You have to base your decision on something.”
“I have based my decision on something. Fruit. This is a fruit thing. You know. By their fruits ye shall know them thing. I don’t have to dissect the tree to tell if it has good fruit. This church has good fruit and I want to be a part. As soon as I can, so my baby can enjoy the fruit too.”
Rossen still hadn’t even closed his mouth by the time they reached his truck. Slade and Isabel were silently watching, both of them smiling from ear to ear. Rossen didn’t say a thing as he tossed his keys to Slade and began to help Kit up into the rear seat. He climbed up in beside her and helped her buckle her seat belt. Then in turn, buckled his own. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again three times before he finally just left it closed.
Fully five minutes into the drive he asked, “How do you even know the whole ‘by their fruits ye shall know them’ thing. Where did you even hear that?”
Kit answered, “It’s in both the Bible and in the Book of Mormon in several places each, but it’s a relatively simple concept. It just makes sense.” Rossen’s eyes narrowed, questioning, before he turned to look out the window in silence for a minute.
Finally, Slade spoke from the front seat, “You never answered her question about becoming a member.” His eyes met Rossen’s in the rear view mirror.
“You’re right, I guess I didn’t.” He turned to Kit. “I don’t even know what to tell you. Usually you either have been raised in the church or have been meeting with the missionaries when you decide to be baptized. I don’t have a clue what the bishop will say about someone being baptized because of fruit.” At that, he smiled at Kit, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m going to guess he’s still going to want you to take the missionary lessons first, but I’m not sure. We’ll have to call and ask. At the very least, maybe you should study a little about the basics so you’ll know what you’re in for.”
Kit replied, “I’ve read the
Book of Mormon,
the
Doctrine and Covenants
, the
Pearl of Great Price,
Our Search For Happiness,
and several other pamphlets your mom has lent me, and I‘m almost finished with
Jesus The Christ
. And I’m slowly picking at the Bible. It’s a bit intimidating. What else should I be studying?”
This time all three of them turned to stare. Even Slade didn’t look back at the road until he hit the rumble strip.
Rossen looked shell shocked. He finally answered, “It sounds like my mom has it all under control. Maybe you’d better ask her what she has in mind next.” After a second he asked Kit, “You’ve been here what, fifteen days, three of which you spent mostly asleep in the hospital, and you’ve read all that, including most of
Jesus the Christ?”
She nodded. “Holy cow! I couldn’t do that in three months! That’s unreal!” He was looking at her like he’d never really seen her before. After a pause he asked, “Why?”
She shrugged. “I wanted to find out what you guys knew that the rest of us didn’t, that makes you so good. I know it has to be something about the church, so I’ve been trying to figure it out.”
“And did you find the secret?” Rossen finally broke into his usual smile.
“More like lots and lots of little pieces of the secret.” Kit smiled back. “Mostly I just understand the simple stuff like fruit.”