About Sisterland (23 page)

“So, we have consensus? Good. Unity of purpose is always more seemly.”

Her gaze landed on Constance like a scalpel. Constance let her hands fall. A sense of dread hovered.

Innocence said, “Honour 19’s memory, along with that supplementary sting in its tail, undermines Sisterland. Sisters would be distressed by its contents – their wellbeing compromised. Our only concern is for their welfare. This memory must be erased permanently for the higher good. Constance 500, our judgment is that you be sent to MUM.

Chapter 19

Constance unwound her feet from around the legs of the stool where she sat, needing to plant them firmly on the ground. Judgment? The Nine had sat in judgment on her, without indicating she was on trial? And then her mind skipped forward, to lock on the verdict – she was ordered to MUM. The Memory Unmapping Manufactory.

She stared at the semi-circle. How benign the Sisters looked. Perhaps she had misunderstood. But Innocence’s words rang in her ears. 
Our judgment is that you be sent to MUM.
 She tried to bring to mind what she’d heard about memory-unmapping. It was said to cause a drastic change in anyone who underwent it.

Into the stillness, the Shaper Mother cleared her throat: a sound like cloth tearing. “Is it possible the Nine might consider deletion rather than unmapping?”

“Indeed, Shaper Mother,” said Innocence, “as you remind us, we have the expertise to isolate a set of memories and detach them. But why take the risk? Memories are leaky: they colour each other, one memory tipping over into another. Deletion isn’t foolproof. Unmapping is the prudent course. Especially in circumstances so keenly related to Sisterland’s best interests.” 

“Naturally, Sisterland should be the primary consideration,” said the Shaper Mother. “However, there’s a fact I ought to alert the Nine to: you should know that Constance 500 is in a sacred state. She is babyfused.”

Every head swivelled to regard her, while Constance’s alarm ratcheted up. If the Shaper Mother was using babyfusion to argue against unmapping, did that mean it could hurt her baby?

“Her condition makes the need for memory-unmapping still more regrettable,” said Innocence. “But this interchange is explosive. If made public, it could have undesirable consequences. Social cohesion can never be compromised. Not even for babyfusion. Isn’t that so, Sisters?” The insistence of her gaze swept the horseshoe of seated sisters.

This time, the murmurs were troubled. Gracious made a bridge with her hands to rest her chin. Constance trained her eyes on her, in a concentration of appeal.

The Shaper Mother persisted. “Naturally I appreciate the Nine’s position. But before you authorise unmapping, there’s another fact I ought to draw to your attention.”

“The Shaper Mother tries our patience,” said Innocence.

“Let her speak, Innocence,” said Gracious.

“Thank you, sister. Perhaps I should have made this known to you earlier, but I was concerned it might influence your response to the memory interchange. Constance 500’s other died in unusual circumstances – at the Hope Bridge.”

The Platinum Sister tensed. “She was other to the sister called Silence 1999?”

“She was.”

The room was transformed into a beehive.

“Do I have the Nine’s permission to give a briefing?” asked the Shaper Mother.

“Proceed, please,” said Gracious.

“As no doubt you know, Silence’s action has generated a chain reaction. A group of supporters has sprung up calling themselves the Silenced. It’s my understanding they regard her as a martyr. Clearly –”

“We’ve been monitoring the Silenced,” interrupted the Platinum Sister. “They exhibit hysterical tendencies. As my sisters know, I believe we’re showing them too much tolerance.”

“Temperance, allow the Shaper Mother to continue,” said Gracious.

Constance scanned the semi-circle. Her babyfusion had diluted some of the antagonism caused by Honour’s criticism of the Nine. How many of the sisters could be swayed to show mercy? Not Temperance or Innocence. But some of the others, perhaps?

“Clearly, sisters, this is an extremely delicate situation,” said the Shaper Mother. “The Silenced might presume unmapping was ordered because of Constance’s connection with her other. An unmapping could be interpreted as a way of suppressing information about Silence.”

The warning registered with the Nine. Significant looks went winging round the horseshoe.

“You do well to alert us, Shaper Mother,” said Gracious. “We’ll give it careful consideration. Sisters, I believe we ought to retire to reflect on this matter.”

They bowed and withdrew, veils floating behind them – as elegant in their departure as in their arrival.

When they were gone, Constance leaned towards the mother. “I don’t know anyone who’s gone to MUM. Could it hurt my baby?”

The Shaper Mother avoided her eye. “Unmapping is rare.”

“But what would it do to my baby?”

“We’ll talk about that later, if it comes to it. Pleading the belly should have been enough. But it wasn’t. The Nine has grown –” The mother pressed her hands into prayer peaks, and laid them against her mouth. A pause followed, during which she regained her composure. “Still, Silence may tip the Nine in your favour. I made the best case I could. Now, we have to wait.”

Constance burst out, “How can I just sit here and wait?”

“You can because you must. I’ll wait with you. You’re not alone.”

“This isn’t fair! I was sent to Honour – I didn’t ask to go. I did the interchange, just as I was taught. How is it my fault if her memory is unwelcome? Co-keepers can’t be held responsible.”

The mother sighed. “It’s not just the interchange. It’s what Honour said about the Nine. It wasn’t prudent of you to share that.”

“What choice did I have? They dragged it from me!”

“Constance, I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position. Especially in view of your babyfusion. We must hope for the best now.”

“Mother, please tell me. Now. Not later. If I’m sent for unmapping, will my baby discontinue?”

The Shaper Mother’s eyes were unfocused. She didn’t answer.

Constance’s throat tightened. “Mother? I have a right to know.”

“No unborn child can survive MUM.”

Constance half-stood but her legs gave way beneath her. She crashed back down, skidding the stool backwards.

A Sistercentral attendant approached them, and the mother waved her away. Under her breath, she said, “You must steady yourself, Constance. Remember where you are.”

Constance saw anxiety pooling in her eyes. And something else, too. Guilt, perhaps?

“If the worst comes to the worst, wouldn’t they wait until after my baby is born?”

“I’m afraid not. Once a memory-unmapping sentence is passed, it’s carried out immediately. Within 24 hours.”

“Monsters!” Face crumpling, Constance jumped up and walked to the furthest point of the room – burrowing into the only corner without one of those serene-faced goddesses standing sentinel. Didn’t people pray to goddesses in PS days? None of them looked as if they’d listen to her prayers. They were indifferent to her fate. Just like the Nine. Constance rocked on her haunches, her back buffeting the wall.

The mother hunkered down in front of her. She took Constance’s head between her hands, holding it with a steady pressure. “Sweet child, you must practise restraint. There might be a reprieve. The Nine is not without compassion.”

“The Nine is scared stiff of Honour’s memory. And even more petrified by her criticism,” Constance ground out.

“You must understand, Constance. It’s not about what we want, it’s about Sisterland. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made for the common good. Sisterland is a community: the group matters more than any individual. We learn that from the earliest age: 
Not the self but the State, not me but Us. To the greater good: to universal sisterhood.
”

“Why must I understand? I won’t understand! I refuse to!”

“Constance, Constance, collect yourself! Moe is unbalancing you. The Nine is wise, it knows what’s best for all of us. You must have faith.”

“Faith in a group of women who’ll gladly murder my baby, and justify it on the grounds of protecting Sisterland? They’re not wise, they’re unnatural!”

Scorched, the Shaper Mother dropped her hands. “Stop that! You’re giving way to moes!”

“Yes! Because I’m human first, and a Sisterlander second! The same as you. The same as all of us. Only we’re taught to deny it.” Constance hunched over, cradling her stomach, her head almost touching the floor. “I need air,” she moaned.

“I’ll send for water.”

“I have to get outside. I can’t breathe!”

“Constance, you must be calm, I beg you. You can’t leave – you need to be here when the Nine returns.” 

“Am I a prisoner?”

“Of course not. But we don’t know how long the
Nine will be at its deliberations. You must be waiting when it comes back.”

“Why should I wait for a group of talking statues to troop back in and tell me my fate?”

“Stop questioning everything, Constance.”

“Mother, I’m babyfused. Have you ever been babyfused? Wouldn’t you want to protect your baby? Wouldn’t you resist having it discontinued?”

“All this moe pouring out of you! It’s uncivilised!”

Constance went still. Through clenched teeth, she spat, “I’m the uncivilised one here? Me?” A flash of unease crossed the Shaper Mother’s features, and Constance seized her chance. “Let me go outside. Just for a few minutes. Please. I’m not hard to find, with a sig on my right hand and a comtel on the left. I’m not going to run away – how far would I get?” She raised her voice. “I just want some air!”

The Shaper Mother knelt forward and gathered her into her arms, speaking into her ear. “Do you want the Sistercentral scrutineers to use a stifstat on you? That’s the way you’re heading. And it won’t help your baby, either. You must control yourself. Do you hear me? Do you?”

“Yes,” Constance gasped.

“All right, go outside, but Modesty stays with you. I’ll let go of you when I count to three. Can I trust you not to make a scene? Can I? You’re sure?
One . . . two . . . three
.” Gingerly, she disengaged.

Constance panted, reining back the moes.

The Shaper Mother examined her, before straightening and tapping an instruction on her comtel.

Modesty bounced through the door.

“Modesty, take Constance out for a quick walk. Don’t leave the grounds of Sistercentral. And don’t let her out of your sight.”

Chapter 20

“I brought your skin.” By the Sistercentral entrance, Modesty handed Constance her mask. She looked at it blankly.

“Better not go bare-faced,” Modesty added.

“I can think of riskier things. Don’t you ever wonder about skins, Modesty?”

“I wonder about a lot of things. But unlike you, I keep my head down. And my skin on.”

Constance clipped it on.

She and Modesty passed between the eternal flames, emerging into the terraced grounds. Constance rested a protective hand on her stomach. Already, her clothes felt tight across it. Her body was changing shape. Today, for the first time since learning she was babyfused, the baby felt real to her. Did she feel real to her child? Could the warmth of her palm be felt through her body, to where the cells were growing? 

Modesty watched Constance, but held her peace.

The air was clammy without Sistercentral’s temperature controls. Even so, Constance was able to breathe more easily. By and by, she spoke. “Do you know anyone who’s been sent to MUM, Modesty?”

“Not personally. Just on the grapevine.”

“It doesn’t happen often?”

“No, you really have to get up someone’s nose.” She chewed the ball of her thumb. “I hear the Nine intends sending you there, Constance.”

“News travels fast.”

“My job is to know what’s going on. I know you’re babyfused, too – any data the mother sees, I see. Look, I don’t mean to butt in, but someone ought to tell you this. Just so you know where you stand. Of course you’re worried about the baby. But unmapping doesn’t only lead to babydefusion. It changes everything about the person they unmap. Every last memory is snuffed out. You forget anything you ever knew: from your name, to how to do your job, to the way you take your ocean tea. Today could be your last day as Constance 500. Tomorrow, if the Nine gives the word, you’ll become a version of her nobody recognises. Not even yourself.”  

Constance stood still. A premonition of emptiness hurtled towards her. She wouldn’t remember how to read, or count, or talk. She’d no longer recognise people she once knew. And how could she earn a living if she recalled nothing about her shaper training or her co-keeper lessons? But these skills could be regained. What troubled her most were the important memories that could never be retrieved: her childhood, the year with Silence, those five nights with Harper. What if she didn’t even know she had once babyfused?

“The Nine would do this to me?”

“You better believe it.”