Abiding Love (15 page)

Adam, clearly at a loss for a response, turned his hands palms up and looked at her. “Ball’s in your court,” he muttered, and paced to the fireplace at the other end of the room.

“We’re not running off to Vegas, Mark. We’re taking in a play together because we enjoy each other’s company. Neither your father nor I can predict the future. We don’t yet know where our friendship is headed. But I can tell you this, I would never turn away from you because of something that did or didn’t happen between your father and me. He’s been alone for a long time. Do you really want me to walk out that door?”

Mark cast a quick glance at Adam. There was si
lence for a grueling length of time, although it was probably only a few seconds. Then a grin broke out on Mark’s face. “Nah. You two kids go have fun. And don’t be late. It’s a school night,” he said in a teasing voice three octaves deeper than his normal one.

“Okay, then,” Adam said, just a bit breathlessly and obviously more than a little taken aback by Mark’s quick turnaround. “Don’t give Sully any grief. I’ll see you in the morning.”

X
andra flipped her calendar past the coming weekend to ready it for Monday morning. She grinned and wrote a tiny number “3” between the two ones of the eleven. Then, as an afterthought, she picked up her red pen and encircled the number with a heart. Three weeks had passed since Adam had called with that lovely edge of desperation in his tone.

After her solitary existence she felt as if the Lord had opened up her world, even possibly given her a family. She spent all her free time with Adam and Mark and even sometimes Sully. Last Sunday before evening services they’d taken advantage of the warming weather with a barbecued dinner on the stone terrace. Adam had overdone the steaks, Mark had underdone the baked potatoes, the corn on the cob tasted like the frozen variety it was, but Sully didn’t have to cook, and the meal was the best she’d ever eaten.

Everything in life wasn’t perfect, of course. Adam
was on what could only be called a theological quest. Unfortunately, he was trying to understand the gift of salvation with his head and not his heart. She told herself everyone had to listen for the knock of the Lord in their own way. It was frustrating, however, to watch him worry over every decision that came his way when he could experience tremendous peace were he able to put his future into God’s faithful hands.

She had opened her top drawer to lock away the few files left on her desk when her gaze fell on the wedding album Michael had sent her. Michael and her shame over the way he’d treated her during their marriage was the biggest shadow on the horizon. What would happen if he showed up? And how would Adam react to her past cowardice? She still hadn’t found the courage to tell Adam the full truth about the reasons for her divorce, though they had talked about the abuse she’d suffered at her brother Jason’s hands. There had been a few times when she had nearly told him about Michael, but she’d retreated, convincing herself the time wasn’t right.

“Xandra,” her co-worker, A.J., said as he knocked on the door frame of her open door. “Someone dropped a piece of your mail in my in-box. Sorry. I didn’t notice it until just now.”

She stood and put her hand out. “Thanks. I’m sure it isn’t important if it was from outside the building,” she said, noticing the stamp in the upper right corner.

“Well, here it is, anyway. I’m heading home. Have a good weekend,” A.J. told her.

“You too,” she said, but the smile froze on her face as her eyes focused on the handwriting. Her heart started to thunder just knowing she was still in his thoughts.

It was Michael’s.

Oh, Lord, please help me.

Adam checked his watch. Xandra was really late. And that was completely unlike her. “Mark, you’re sure it was her car you just saw in the back lot?” he asked his son.

“Dad, Ms. Lexington has a white convertible. It’s unique. Believe me. It’s there.” Mark’s eyes strayed to a group of students talking under the flagpole. “Why don’t you just go up and check on her? I’ll find something to do.”

Adam noticed Mark’s gaze follow one particular female student as she moved through the crowd.

“So,
that’s
the girl? She’s kind of cute. I guess you’d like your old man to disappear and quit cramping your style, huh?”

Mark sent him a crooked smile. “It couldn’t hurt.”

“I’ll go hurry Xandra along, but be ready to roll when we get back.”

“Don’t hurry on my account,” Mark tossed over his shoulder as he slid from the car.

Adam chuckled and went after the woman he was quickly coming to see as his future. He could no longer imagine life without Xandra. Luckily, he didn’t think Mark could, either. As he walked through the nearly silent halls, he thought back to his own
days in that very school. He’d been Mark’s age when he’d seen recruitment literature in the guidance office. It hadn’t been there for students in his upper track, but that hadn’t mattered to Adam. He’d altered the idea of the Navy to include Annapolis and seen freedom from the demands of his parents as well as the life he’d wanted. And now he’d come full circle. He was back walking the same halls.

The door to Xandra’s office was open just as it had been the day he’d approached it for their second meeting. He stopped, standing in the same spot where he’d stood back then, trying to size her up before she noticed him. He frowned. Today, as that day, she looked upset and incredibly vulnerable. Concerned, he started forward. Today he wasn’t an intruder. The woman he thought might very well be his future needed his comfort.

“Xandra, what’s wrong?” he asked, not even pre tending that something might not be.

She looked up at him, guilt written on her features. “I’m so sorry. I never thought it would go this far.”

His heart stopped. “Us?” he asked, unable to move farther into the little airless room. He already felt as if he were choking.

“Yes.” Tears coursed down her face. “No,” she corrected, and shook her head hard, whipping her long straight hair across her face so that several strands stuck to her wet cheek. “I lied. All this time, I’ve lied. I was too much of a coward to tell you.”

“What are you saying? That you never wanted me
in your life? That we shouldn’t see each other anymore?” Was that raspy voice really his?

Her face crumpled. “I don’t think that’ll stop him now. My mother must have told him all about you. I knew you could take care of yourself, but I didn’t think of Mark. I’m so sorry.”

Air flowed back into his lungs. She didn’t regret their relationship. Something else had her literally shaking. Adam was through the doorway and kneeling at her side in a second, smoothing the hair off her face. “She told who about us? Xandra, try to make some sense, honey. I can’t fix what’s wrong if I don’t know what it is.”

“You can’t fix Michael. I don’t think anyone could. And now my mother told him we’re seeing each other.” She held out a moist, crumpled piece of paper.

Adam took the paper from her damp hands and read.

Everything that had remained a mystery about Xandra from the first moment he’d met her was now crystal clear. He looked up and she turned away, shame replacing the apology in the soft gray of her eyes.

“He abused you.”

It hadn’t been a question, but she nodded as if it had. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pitching his voice to keep any hint of censure out of it. He was disappointed that she hadn’t trusted him, but not angry. Not at her, anyway. But Balfour had better stay out of his way!

“I never thought he’d go after you or Mark,” Xandra whispered as she stared down at her hands where they lay balled up in her lap.

He took her gently by her chin and got her to look at him. “I’ll take care of Mark.
And
you. I meant, why didn’t you tell me about what your ex-husband did to you?”

“I couldn’t.” She bit her lip and looked away, breaking his heart in a new way that flooded him with tender feelings for her. “I just couldn’t make myself tell you. How could I tell a man who spent a major portion of his life facing untold dangers that I was such a coward I let Michael hurt and terrify me for nearly two years?”

She didn’t understand what courage meant. “You left. That took courage.”

She shook her head. “No. The son of our new housekeeper rescued me. He gave me clothes and a bus ticket, then he snuck me away from the vineyard. He sent me to San Diego.”

That took him back a step and he grimaced with regret. “You were so close to Coronado. If only I’d known you then. Why did he choose San Diego?”

“They have a wonderful domestic abuse program. They put me in touch with an attorney named Virginia Talmadge. She filed for a protection order and forced Michael into agreeing to the divorce.”

“And so you came back here to live with your parents?”

“No. At first I didn’t intend to come here. When the papers were filed, I was still at one of the women’s shelters in San Diego. Someone saw a man hanging around. She thought he was following me. The police got rid of him, but within a week another one showed up. It really freaked the other women and their kids. I snuck away one night. I knew my divorce was in the works, so I kept in touch with my attorney as I kept moving, heading this way, thinking my parents would help me.”

She chuckled but it wasn’t a happy sound, it was one of disgust. “It sounds like a soap opera. Especially when you add that I went through all that to get here and then my mother wouldn’t let me stay with them. After a lifetime of having her believe Jason over me, you’d think I’d have learned. But she said helping me would only encourage me to remain
separated from Michael. Then she called him as soon as I left.”

“Where did you go?”

“To Beth and New Life Inn. I walked there from my parents’ house, and Beth took me in. That was a year ago last November. I still live there and help Beth run the place. I’ve stayed there partially because the location is secret. I’ve felt relatively safe and thought he’d eventually move on with his life. Now I know he knows where I work and that he hasn’t moved on at all.”

Adam was so angry he felt as if his head would explode, but he refused to let Xandra see. Instead he put his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know how you can see yourself as a coward. Balfour was the coward. I, for one, am proud of the woman you are. Your housekeeper’s son might have encouraged you, helped you when you needed it. But you walked out the door, climbed into his car and onto a bus to freedom. You rescued yourself. And then you left the relative safety of that San Diego shelter to strike out on your own because Balfour’s lackeys were upsetting the other residents. You came back here and built a good life for yourself. You started dating me even though your own mother was keeping tabs on you for Michael.” Then it dawned on him. “This was the other thing you were concerned about that day at the café.”

“I was still so afraid. Even of you. Pastor Jim helped me see that my fear of you was irrational. That was why I came to see you that day.” She sighed. “I knew he’d probably found out I was back here in
Pennsylvania but I’d hoped he’d just stay away, especially with the divorce final. Our dating has set him off just as I tried to warn Mother it would. She clearly didn’t listen. It’s his need to control me. I guess he thought he still had some power until I found someone else.”

He touched her shining hair. “I’ll have to thank him.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t. Your son wouldn’t be in danger if I’d just stayed away. I never thought Michael would bring either of you into this. Why aren’t you angry?”

“Oh, I’m angry, Xandra. But not at you. Balfour, however had better stay on the left coast if he knows what’s good for him. I’ll take care of Mark. And I’ll take care of you, if you’ll let me.”

She straightend her shoulders, her fighting spirit returning. “I told you I’m not afraid. Pastor Jim told me the Lord doesn’t give us a spirit of fear.”

She looked as dangerous as a spitting kitten. “Honey, I don’t think he meant you should
never
be afraid. There are times when fear is a pretty bright thing to feel. I imagine Jim Dillon meant you shouldn’t be afraid when you have no reason to be. But that doesn’t mean Balfour isn’t dangerous.”

“Believe me, I know how dangerous he is.”

The muscles in Adam’s stomach knotted at the knowledge of danger and remembered pain on her face. He would not let that man hurt her again. “The first thing I think we need to do is call the police. In my book, this is a threatening letter. Jack’s brother-in-law, Jim Lovell, is a detective with the state police.
He’s actually a lieutenant so he must be pretty good at what he does and I’ve been in his company several times with Beth and Jack. He’s a nice guy. Let’s go collect Mark. I’ll call Jim on the way to the car. He can meet us at my house.”

She looked at her watch, only then becoming aware of how much time had passed. “Oh! Mark isn’t with you and everyone’s gone. He shouldn’t be alone.”

“He’s with a group out front near the flagpole, but I’ll feel better when he’s with me or Sully. Let’s roll, honey.”

On the way to the car, Adam had the mobile operator contact Jim Lovell, then they picked up Mark. When they reached Boyerton they found Jim out front leaning against a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang. She’d met him once at Laurel Glen. A big Nordic-looking guy, he was always with his wife, Crystal, Jack Alton’s sister. Today, unfortunately, he was alone and he was on duty.

Mark had taken the news in stride, though he was furious that someone had dared to hurt and frighten Xandra. Now all he wanted was permission to crawl all over Lovell’s car. Jack’s brother-in-law waved him on and followed them inside. Jim read the letter, and his reaction made Adam wonder if Michael Balfour knew there was a line forming for the chance to teach him a lesson.

“Not a dumb man, unfortunately,” Lovell said. “This is couched in terms general enough that any lawyer could argue successfully that he is just passing on concerns and hoping to save you heartache.”

“We’re divorced. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Lovell leaned forward in his chair. “Look, we know what he means but we can’t prove it. I’d never be able to get him extradited to face harassment or threat charges. It’s what I’d like to do, but I have to operate within the law.” He shrugged, clearly frustrated to have his hands tied.

“But what about Mark? Can he threaten a child and get away with it?” Xandra demanded.

Adam had to hand it to her. She wasn’t cowed by Balfour popping up like this. And she was mighty angry at the threat to Mark.

“It’s frustrating. We can get a protection order, but it would have to state where you live so he knows where he can’t go. And I still can’t touch him unless he comes near any of you. And then he’d know where the shelter is.”