Aberrant (2 page)

“Comfortable?” I laughed, looking back as his legs stretched
out just past the shade, his feet in the sun. My fingers moved through the
blades of grass, playing with them as I spoke.

“I am, actually.” He nodded and though I couldn’t see his
movements I could feel them. It was strange and oddly calming.

“I’m not ready for today,” I whispered, afraid someone else
might overhear my fear. I knew no one else was nearby, but I still found it hard
to voice.

He reached for my hand, finding my fingers and giving a
tentative squeeze. “I don’t think any of us are,” he confessed. “I keep
thinking how everything is about to change for us.” He paused before casting a
glance at me. I could feel him staring, even as I avoided making eye contact.
"We could always refuse the match."

I scoffed at the idea, "And die in the
Gravelands?" I shook my head once. "No thanks." I wasn't looking
forward to getting married. It was the requirement of the government for those who
turned eighteen.

Joshua moved to sit up. Immediately, I felt the loss of his
body’s warmth against mine. "Maybe it won't be such a terrible waste,"
he suggested. "There must be a few guys you wouldn't mind being matched with?"
Sixteen boys and sixteen girls were part of the marriage ceremony: our entire
graduating class.

"Right," I sighed thinking it over. I knew the
boys in our class, but I couldn’t imagine seeing any of them every day, let
alone sharing a home with one of them. It was preposterous.

"You're telling me you've never thought about
today?" Josh asked with mild curiosity. We've always known the day would
come, that our match would be one of the sixteen from our school. It would be a
lie to tell him I never wondered who I'd marry. Joshua smiled brightly. "I
always imagined you'd be my match."

"Really?" I felt the slightest bit of warmth
spread across my cheeks that he would want to spend the rest of his life with
me.

He laughed nudging my arm. "No." I tried not to
hide the embarrassment coloring my face as I stared down at the grass.
"Come on, wouldn't that be weird?" Joshua smiled at me. "We're best
friends. It's not natural."

I bit down hard on my bottom lip to keep from crying. I
didn't quite understand what I felt, but I needed to keep my emotions from
surfacing. Ignoring Joshua beside me, I glanced up from the grass and across
the land at the graveyard, my father's home, just a few yards away.

I closed my eyes, feeling the ache in my heart returning.

"Mom, please you have to come with me," I
begged. My hands held purple and blue wildflowers I'd spent all afternoon
picking with Joshua's help. Today was the first anniversary of my father's
death, and I wanted to celebrate in a way of sorts.

"I'm not going there, I have too much to do." She
shook her head once and walked into the kitchen further away from me. She dug
through the fridge, but it was too early to make dinner. She was stalling. Even
I could see that.

I followed her, flowers in hand and placed them on the
counter. "What else do you have to do, Mom? What could be more
important?" My eyes pleaded with her to come with me to his grave. I
wanted to remember him as he was and shower his home with flowers.

"You wouldn't understand. You're a child," she
scolded me. "Now get the flowers off the table and go wash up for
dinner."

My hands ripped the flowers from the counter. I took off
running out of the house toward the cemetery. Tears burned my eyes and ran down
my cheeks as I stomped through the graveyard over dying grass searching for his
resting place.

Finding it, I dropped to my knees, the flowers spilling from
my hands. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I wanted her to come, but she couldn't. She
was too busy – you know how she is." I wiped the tears away as I fixed the
flowers on the ground and rearranged them properly. "I love you so
much." I sniffled once, shivering from the cold autumn air, but refused to
leave.

My body froze in place, feeling a warm gloved hand on my
shoulder. I glanced back surprised to see Joshua, his blue eyes staring down at
me as he sat beside me on the ground. "Hi, Mr. Parker."

"Olive?" I felt Joshua's voice in my head and
shook it once bringing myself back. The sun felt warm, and I realized now he’d
placed his arm around my shoulder. "You spaced out for a minute."

"I guess I did," I whispered, glancing from the
graves back down to the grass. I didn't want to tell him it was a welcome
escape from what he'd said just moments ago– that he’d joked about us being
matched and then seemed somehow repulsed by it.

He nodded slowly, keeping me close beside him. "There
are a few girls I wouldn't mind being matched with this afternoon," he
confessed, bringing us right back where we started. I wasn't sure I was
grateful for the conversation, but I also didn't want him to see he'd hurt me.
I was sure it wasn't intentional. He'd been joking. "I just keep thinking,
what if they refuse me?"

"What?" That caught me off-guard. It was unheard
of to refuse your match. It wasn't illegal, per se, but it might as well have
been. If you denied the match, then you were defying the government of Cabal,
which ruled our town of Genesis. The law stated someone could choose not to
marry, but then the government no longer had the need to represent that person.
As such, the unmarried were banished from any and all government cities and forced
to reside in the Gravelands. Anyone who was sent beyond the walls without food
or transportation would die. It was no secret that starvation and dehydration
would likely be the first to kill you.

"I'm worried one of the girls might look at me and not
want to marry me," Joshua repeated. He must have thought I hadn't heard
him. I had. I just couldn't fathom who would ever turn their match down. I'd
never seen it happen, but long before I was born, there were stories of it.

"Oh, come on." I rolled my eyes and nudged him. His
grip on my shoulders loosened, and I wrapped an arm around his waist. My head
came to rest on his shoulder as I let out a soft sigh. "No one would rather
seek death than marry you." I laughed softly. "You're not that bad of
a catch."

Joshua laughed under his breath. "Thanks."

"I'm serious." I smiled glancing at him from his
shoulder. "You're a really nice guy. Besides, marriage isn't like…" I
paused unwilling to finish the sentence.

"What?" Joshua waited for me to continue.

I couldn't very well confess I'd been reading illegal texts.
I chewed my lip anxiously trying to reconsider my words. "Marriage is just
about sharing a house and food together. It's not like it used to be."

Joshua stared, waiting for me to elaborate. I wasn't the
best consoler. “After today,” Joshua whispered, “You and me, we won’t be able
to do this.”

"I know." I sighed. Just thinking about it made me
miss him already. “It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong,” I reminded him as
much as myself. We merely spent time together.

"The government won't see it like that," Joshua
reminded me. "They'd charge us with adultery." It was an unwelcome
reminder of the perfect system.

I knew he was right. It was a dangerous game we’d been
playing for years. Although it wasn’t forbidden to befriend a member of the
opposite sex, it was frowned upon. I never quite understood why, until today.

Hesitantly, I pulled back giving Joshua a shy smile. “I
should head home before Mom worries.” If I left now, I could shower and be
ready in time for the marriage ceremony. “I’ll see you later.” I smiled, giving
a wave as I headed through the graveyard towards home. Already I missed Joshua
with his dark hair and eyes as blue as the sky, I felt my heart leap in a
strange unexplainable way. I hated to think that after today I would probably
never see him again.

I gazed into the mirror, saddened by my reflection. My hair,
though still damp after my shower, was a shade darker than its usual warm
honey. My eyes seemed a muted shade of green, duller and less intense, matching
my sour mood. I didn't feel pretty and I wondered if the boy I was matched to
would think the same of me.

I missed my father. It had been thirteen years since he'd
died. I'd come to terms with his passing, accepted his fate as no other choice
and that I was meant for new beginnings.

The only problem was the government officials had their own
minds made up about our fate. My stomach tensed with butterflies as I swallowed
my nerves as best I could.

I opened my closet, surprised to find a white gown staring
back at me. My favorite part of the dress was the bottom and sleeves covered in
lace. One of the Keepers must have brought it in while I was out. It took only
a matter of seconds for me toss my towel and slip into the dress. The white
cotton material reached just past my knees. In the corner of the room on the
floor sat a pair of white heels. I knew they were left for me, but I doubted
I'd be capable of wearing them. I slid my feet into the shoes, stumbling
slightly as I tried to walk the length of the bedroom. I glanced at my
reflection in the mirror, the gown fit perfectly and as I twirled, a faint
smile spread across my face.

"You look beautiful." My mother grinned as she watched
from the door. Our school uniforms were usually muted gray. Work attire was
provided by the government-based on job position, but white was never a color. It
was reserved for the marriage ceremony. I felt incredibly awkward in a dress. However,
I knew the other girls would be wearing the same and took comfort in their pain.

My blonde hair was down past my shoulders and my mother
ushered me into her bathroom, grabbing her hair dryer and curling iron.
"Are you excited?" she asked as she dried my hair and then curled the
ends, barely leaving me time to speak. "I bet you're thrilled. I remember
my marriage ceremony like it was yesterday. Your father looked so handsome when
he came up on stage. All I could think about was how lucky I was to have the
government choose him for me." She let large curls hang several inches past
my shoulders before nodding in approval when she was finished. "Oh, one
more thing. Almost forgot!" She held up one finger to tell me not to move.

"Mom?" I called back, wondering where she went. She
rushed back to me, bringing a bobby pin and purple wildflower into the bathroom.
It took only a minute for her to clip it into my hair.

"Perfect." She admired her work before ushering me
out the door. "You can't be late!" I rolled my eyes and groaned in
protest. I knew I shouldn't be mad at her, but it was hard not to be. I dreaded
what the afternoon would bring.

Walking outside, our neighbors did the same. Those with
children in the graduating class joined the front of the stage, and their
families were just behind them in the city square. Those not participating
stood farthest back and watched with great admiration. Gradually, I approached
the front and walked up the stairs as I took my place on the stage. The girls
from my class all gathered, one by one. My eyes searched the crowd for a
recognizable face to calm my nerves. I spotted my mother standing proudly
alone. My eyes scanned the front row of potential candidates. They were all
dressed the same in midnight black suits. It took less than a second to find his
dark brown hair in the crowd. Joshua's blue eyes pierced through mine and I
wondered if he was as nervous as I felt. He looked good. I wanted to give him a
smile or a brief wave, but all I could do was lock eyes on him as we stared at
one another.

I knew I should be happy, but all I could feel was
nauseated. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. I felt as though I'd been
tossed on a ship in the middle of a hurricane, swaying violently from
side-to-side. On one side is Governor Craynor and the other is the husband I'm
forced to marry. My stomach shifted in waves, and my skin grew ashen and
clammy. My hands trembled as I tried to stay strong, but I felt as though I was
failing miserably. I let my mind wander as I did my best to calm my nerves. If
I had the choice, who would I choose to marry? Glancing towards Governor
Craynor, the thought vanished as he studied the list of names on the sheet in
front of him. I was the fourth in line – the fourth to be chosen and married
off today. I knew I shouldn't be nervous, but not knowing what awaited made me want
to vomit. I studied the sixteen faces in the crowd of familiar boys. I was
sickened to think I could be married to Levi Keller, the most obnoxious and
gross boy in school.

I grimaced as my teacher Ms. Steiner informed us we would
be reading in pairs. We had just learned our alphabet last year, and I wasn't
the strongest reader. I didn't even like reading, but Mom would occasionally
sit me down with the Genesis Times to read what our government told us was
going on in the world. In Ms. Steiner's class, we had textbooks. I sat beside
Levi trying my best not to be repulsed. His hair was dark and matted down to
his skin. Though I knew his natural color was blonde, it had been a long time
since he'd bathed. Dirt licked his face and hands. I raised my hand, hoping Ms.
Steiner would call on me. She ignored me. I would have played sick, asked to go
to the nurse because I wasn't feeling very well. I didn't think she'd believe
me, but I didn't want to sit next to Levi. He reached towards me, poking me in
the arm

"Why's the hand up, Olivia?" Levi's eyes
narrowed tilting his head studying me. "Afraid I have germs?" He
laughed and the rest of classroom erupted in nervous laughter. They all must
have felt it, too, didn't they? No one wanted to ever be paired with Levi
Keller. Today I was the unlucky chosen one. I felt my cheeks redden in
embarrassment. He scooted his chair closer to me and the putrid stench only
made my stomach somersault. Maybe I really would get sick and go home.