Abby and the Cute One (Backstage Pass) (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Nathan

N
athan had taken all of two steps off Abby’s bus before coming face to face with LJ. His eyes widened as his manager stared him down. Nathan couldn’t breathe.

He was caught. And so dead.

LJ shook his head, pulled out his cell phone and made a call. “He’s here.” He nodded once while someone spoke on the other line. “We’ll be right there.”

As soon as he hung up, he called someone else. “We’re by the busses and need a ride downtown.”

When Beau came by the bus to pick them up, LJ still hadn’t said a word to Nathan. Nathan squirmed, his mind racing with questions. What happened to LJ being out of town? How was this happening? Where were they going?

LJ gave Beau the name of a restaurant downtown and they rode there in silence. Somehow, Beau’s presence made Nathan feel a little better. Barely.

Once he pulled to a stop and LJ got out, Beau turned in his seat. “Be yourself, Nathan. They don’t own you.”

Which just showed how little Beau actually knew.

They walked into the restaurant, and the maître d’ showed them to a back table. At the table was a guy in a black suit.

Bossman.

It had crossed Nathan’s mind many times that the head of their record label was an actual mob boss—the kind that made you an offer you couldn’t refuse. The fact that he flew to one of S2J’s venues last month on a private jet and had a one-on-one meeting with Nathan about his new bachelor status in the back of a limo had only increased his suspicions. He’d worried the guys would find his head somewhere on the tour bus the next morning.

And now, here they were, face to face again. Nathan nodded to him and sat. He picked up his napkin. Underneath were pictures of him sneaking onto Abby’s bus earlier that evening. Beside it was an article with the headline: “New Pop Power Couple?”

Nathan swallowed and laid the napkin back down.

“Do you see how serious this is?” LJ asked.

He’d known they were playing with fire for a while now, but he hadn’t realized how badly they’d get burned. Bossman getting involved meant this was bad. Really bad.

Nathan nodded.

“I’m sure she’s a lovely girl,” LJ said. “She’s one hell of a singer, that’s for sure, but I thought we understood each other.”

“We do.”

He wiped his hands down his face and adjusted the collar of his suit. “The media have been asking questions. At first we could spin it that you were just friends, someone to talk to now that the rest of the guys were busy with their own girls and Will was still recuperating, but it’s gone on too long. They’re running that article tomorrow morning. It won’t matter how we try to spin it now. They have you going into her bus alone, at night. It’ll have a life of its own. Do you know what rumors with a hint of truth do to bands like ours? They squash them. To the fans, you’re going to be a cheater. Women
hate
cheaters.”

Nathan and the rest of the guys needed this band. This would devastate them.
He
would devastate them.

Worse, Abby would never have a chance like this again. Maybe the band could recover if this got out, but if Abby was fired, she’d lose her shot. Her
only
shot. All because of him.

He wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t steal another touch, another kiss, all the while knowing what it would cost.

“I understand.”

“We’re trying to buy them out, but if we can’t, Nathan, we’re done for. And if we can, you have some arenas to sell out in Europe to make up the money.”

LJ looked at Bossman and asked, “Anything you’d like to add?”

Bossman shook his head. “I have faith he’ll do the right thing. If he doesn’t, the girl will be fired immediately.”

With Bossman’s threat heavy on his shoulders, Nathan stood and exited the restaurant, his heart pounding and his stomach churning. He had to let Abby know they couldn’t see each other at all starting immediately and get real about his eligible bachelor status…and Marissa. Until the breakup, anyway. But he wouldn’t be the reason Abby—or any of the S2J guys—didn’t achieve their dreams.

Beau dropped him off and Nathan made a beeline for The One. Trevin intercepted him before he could make it to his bunk. “Where’ve you been? Bossman was in town for a meeting and LJ’s pissed.”

“I was around.”

“We tried to call you.”

“I had my phone off.”

Nathan tried to push past him toward the sanctuary of his bunk, but Trevin didn’t give up. “You okay?”

“Jesus. I’m fine.” He elbowed by him. The video game music stopped, and Will and Miles peeked their heads around the doorway.

“What’s going on, mate?”

Trevin shook his head as Nathan climbed into bed and shut the curtain. They could give him shit all they wanted, but who was trying to keep the group together?

L
J woke Nathan early the next morning with the news they were able to buy off the paparazzi and article writer. He wouldn’t tell him how much money it took, but Nathan knew it had to have been a lot. Instead of going back to sleep like the rest of the guys, he went to see Mama Lee in Kiss This. She did all the guys’ wardrobes, and since Nathan was trying to think of his role as an opportunity instead of a setback now, he might as well see Mama Lee for a wardrobe update. Something more like Miles and Ryder and less prep school boy.

Mama Lee was hunched over some fabric, a needle between her teeth. When she saw Nathan, she stuck the needle in a pincushion and then gave him a big hug. “What’ve you come here for? Do you have a date with Abby? I hear you two have been hanging around a lot.”

She elbowed him in the ribs, but it did the exact opposite of improving his mood. “No, Abby and I aren’t anything. I’m here to…change my look, I guess.”

Eyebrows raised, Mama Lee studied Nathan’s usual white shirt and jeans. “What’s wrong with your look?”

“I need something more Miles and less me.”

She frowned. “Is this someone else’s doing?”

Nathan wanted to scream that of course it was. Would he be here for any other reason? Instead, he forced a smile. “Just feel like a change. I’m growing up, you know? I want to look more mature, I guess.”

She fretted over her lip. “More mature. Sexy?”

Nathan nodded.

In two hours, Mama Lee had picked out all new outfits for Nathan. He looked more like Justin Bieber than himself, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

He strode out of the bus with jeans low on his hips, his button-up shirt open to the middle of his chest. Sure, he wasn’t showing as much skin as he was on the side of The One, but it was drastically different than what he normally wore.

He had interviews in five minutes, so he headed to the pressroom. Though his pants felt like they might fall down, the clothes weren’t uncomfortable and they were cool. They just…weren’t him. He felt like an imposter.

Abby waited outside the pressroom. She smiled when she saw him, and her eyes dropped to his chest. “Hot today, are we?”

His heart squeezed at the way she stared at him. He would have to say something to her soon. “Yeah, listen, I’m late. Can’t talk, sorry.”

She frowned as he walked past. He was being a jerk, but he had to be. Saving both of their careers was his top priority.

Just his luck, the press gave him many opportunities to do just that. They asked him about his relationship with Abby, which was a perfect segue into saying what he’d rehearsed in his head all night.

He laughed into the mike. “I’m not sure where this all came from. Everyone knows I’m dating Marissa—she just flew into Buffalo a couple weeks ago to see me. We’re…happy, and Abby and I are friends like the rest of the guys are friends with her, too. Right now I’m focusing on Marissa and on making each and every show perfect for the fans. I’m just working hard and having fun.”

Will backed him up by saying the rest of the guys were big fans of Abby’s, too. Hopefully that would satiate their hunger for a story for now. The fact that there wasn’t a story, none they would ever know anyway, would only help S2J.

At the end of the session, Nathan stood. Abby waited in the back, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked so small and fragile as she turned and walked out. His heart broke for her, for everything they were and everything they could be but never would be.

Ryder pulled at Nathan’s shirt when they got into the hall. “Nice outfit. I know you’re not trying to show off any chest hair.”

A button flew off and pinged off the wall next to them. A rush of heat swamped Nathan. “What the hell, Ryder? Leave me alone.”

Ryder’s face went still, his throat working. Trevin stepped in between them. “Eyes everywhere you two. Let’s go.”

Trevin tried to lead Nathan toward an empty room, but Nathan shrugged him off and went in the opposite direction. He made it to a room, shut the door behind him, and leaned against the door, eyes closed.

A sniffle broke the quiet. Nathan’s eyes flew open. Abby sat on a couch on the other side of the room, her knees pulled to her chest.

She lifted her chin. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I just got into a fight with Ryder.”

“Oh. Did you blow him off, too?”

Nathan shut his eyes and swallowed. He’d known all along this part would hurt. “Yeah.”

“It’s not me, right? You just told the world you’re having fun with Marissa. It’s stupid, and I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. I know I shouldn’t want you, but I do. And every time I hear you say something like that about Marissa, I know it’s not true, but it makes me feel like you’ve already put the idea of ‘us’ behind you.”

Put the idea of “them” behind him? He wished it was that easy. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but he knew he couldn’t have it. LJ and Bossman were serious. Nathan had already screwed up, and refusing to acknowledge that would make things worse than they already were.

Nathan shook his head. It hurt to look at her. He couldn’t do it anymore. “I’m only trying to do the right thing.”

Abby bit her lip. “No, you’re a coward. And an asshole.”

He winced.

“I thought you and I”—she shook her head—“we were something. We could’ve been something. We could’ve made this work. What happened?”

Nathan glanced away, and his voice became groggy. “The real world.”

“Stop being cryptic.” She shook her head. “And to think, last night I was so worried about you. Have you checked your phone? I left you a ton of messages to tell you about my new plan. About how maybe we can get Reeta involved and LJ would listen to her if he won’t listen to you. About how you and I could maybe both go to LJ. It’s possible if he saw us together we could convince him, but you never answered.” She frowned. “We can still get through it together.”

Nathan shook his head. “Not this we can’t.”

Abby bit her lip. “I can’t accept that. I’m falling in love with you, Nathan. I won’t give up on us.”

Her words were like a punch in the stomach—Nathan stumbled a step back. Falling in love? Sure, he sang about it all the time, but did he know anything about it?

He thought about Abby sitting at the food tent next to him, her head thrown back in a laugh. Her giggles as they snuck onto The One. How nice her body felt next to his yesterday. All the conversations they had that he’d never wanted to end.

His gut clenched. His eyes burned with held back tears. Abby was right—he was a coward. An oblivious one at that.

But it wasn’t just the two of them he had to worry about. There were four other guys, and his mom and his sister, and four other guys’ families. He couldn’t let them down, not even for this.

And there was Abby and her mom. Hadn’t they both wanted this for her, too? He couldn’t have that on his shoulders along with everything else.

“I’m sorry, Abby. I can’t do this with you. I have commitments.”

And like it or not, they’d gone too far to just be friends. Even the paparazzi knew that. All it would take was another picture of them together for people to put things together. He had to cut her off completely.

She sniffled, tears streaming down her red cheeks. “I’m not asking you to give up your commitments. I’m just asking you to let me in. Let Reeta try.”

He shook his head.

“I don’t understand. Why won’t you even consider it?”

Nathan took a few steps toward her, his hands clenched. “LJ made it clear to me last night that I can’t be with you right now. Not in any way.”

“Even as friends?”

His face tightened, and it was all he could do just to speak. “Yeah. Even as friends.”

She wiped at her face. “But why should we take LJ’s word for it? He can’t possibly know for sure. He just wants to do things his way.”

Nathan nodded. There was no use denying it. “Yeah, but it’s not just LJ. The president of the record label paid me a visit before you even got on the tour. He told me I have to be the fantasy. As much as I want to be, I can’t be the fantasy when I’m with you.”

“But you were
my
fantasy.”

He made a move for her hand, but she jerked it away. Nathan sighed. “Just know I don’t want to lose you, Abby.”

Abby glared. “You don’t want to lose me? If that’s really true, then prove it. I’ve given you an option.”

Nathan hesitated. “I…just trust me. It’s for your own good.”

She rubbed her eyes again. “No. You’re not doing this for me. You’re doing this for yourself.”

Nathan’s heart clenched and his throat ached with unspoken words. But he couldn’t say anything to encourage her, not now. He didn’t have a solution that let him hold on to her and let her keep her career at the same time.

Abby shook her head. “Fine. Good bye, Nathan.”

Watching her walk away felt like that time he landed a front flip flat on his back onstage. Air knocked out of his lungs, muscles locked in a painful vise, unable to breathe. Think. See.

Nathan stumbled back onto the couch. The fabric smelled like her. She hadn’t been gone for more than a minute and he wanted her back. He needed her back. But wanting and needing didn’t matter, not in the face of reality.

Nathan pressed his face into the cushion and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

But apologizing where she couldn’t hear him wouldn’t make her forgive him.