AAAARGH!!! (12 page)

this way. And

that way, until . . .

Chad was suddenly

by himself. Talk about weird. One minute he held the pirate in his hands. The next he held only air. He looked around, blinking, then slowly sat up.

Students began climbing back into their seats. Some were crying; others were sobbing. TJ was still standing, looking all around. And Miss Grumpaton?

She started to clap.

“Excellent, my dear!” she said. “I don’t know how you did it, but your extra credit report was superb!” Then, turning to the class, she said, “And that, boys and girls, is why she will do so well in writing her essay this weekend. Imagination, creativity, and all of that hard work will someday make her a great writer!”

It was Friday night, which meant another one of Dad’s attempts at
Hey let’s have some quality family time and go out for pizza.

(Good ol’ Dad, he just doesn’t give up.)

Of course Dorie was all for it. Dorie was all for everything—give her a fingernail clipping and she’ll play with it for hours.

But Violet (who’s never all for anything) had her usual
I’m a health nut so everyone has to suffer because of me
conditions. “I’ll go,” she said, “but only if no animals were hurt in the making of the food substance—”

TRANSLATION:
Kiss the pepperoni good-bye.

“and there are no dairy products used—”

TRANSLATION:
Kiss the cheese good-bye.

“and no chemicals or artificial flavors are added.”

TRANSLATION:
Kiss the taste good-bye
.
(Unless you wanted to eat the box, which ALWAYS had more flavor than the pizzas she ordered.)

But as exciting as it all sounded, TJ decided to pass.

Dad was disappointed, and Dorie begged her to come (and Violet asked if she could have her extra pieces). But TJ had more important things on her mind. She had to make a decision.

And the best place for making important decisions was where she was now . . . walking alone on the beach at sunset.

It was hard to believe that one little bit of cheating could cause so many problems. It seemed like every time she turned around, it got worse. And this time it had nothing to do with Tuna and Herby’s attempts at spying or their trips into her future or their fritzing Swiss Army Knife.

Instead, it had everything to do with Hesper expecting her to write her history report, Elizabeth threatening to tell the school she was some strange weirdo (as if they didn’t already know), and Miss Grumpaton expecting her to write some amazing essay for some national contest.

Maybe Tuna and Herby were right. Maybe she should put a stop to it. Maybe she should tell Miss Grumpaton that she cheated. Sure, it would mean getting an F, but at least things would get back to normal (well, as normal as possible with two boys from the 23rd century haunting her life).

Maybe the old saying really was true. Maybe honesty really was the best policy.

These were the thoughts spinning through TJ’s brain until she looked down at the sand and froze. Because there, with everybody else’s footprints, were holes spaced evenly apart.

Holes that could only be made by someone with a peg leg!

Or . . .

“Hey.”

She looked up and was startled to see Chad Steel just ahead. He was walking on the beach with his crutches. Immediately, her hand shot up to her hair to smooth it . . . or cover her face . . . or both. There was also the sudden pounding of her heart, so loud she barely heard her own voice croak back, “Hi.”

He waited for her to catch up. She ordered her legs to move and someway—she wasn’t sure how—they obeyed. A moment later they were walking side by side.

After a few seconds of deathly silence (which felt more like years of deathly silence), Chad finally cleared his throat. “That was something today in English class, wasn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.”

More deathly silence.

He tried again. “I mean, whoever that actor was, he was good.”

“Uh-huh.”

Repeat in the deathly silence department.

“Talk about a fast exit. It was like he disappeared right out of my hands.”

“Uh-huh.” TJ was sure she knew other words, but at the moment she couldn’t think of any.

He turned to look at the sun setting over the water. Purple and pink bands spread across the sky, so vivid it was like it was on fire. “Sure is pretty,” he said.

All right, it was now or never. She would go out on a limb. She would say something deep and profound. Something that would impress this incredible guy with her incredible intelligence. Taking a deep breath for courage, she went for broke and croaked, “Yeah.”

(So much for incredible intelligence.)

They continued down the beach.

Once again he tried to make conversation. “I come here this time of night when I have things to work out.”

She turned to him, amazed. Of course she wanted to tell him that’s exactly why she was there. Unfortunately, that would involve opening her mouth and sounding like a human being, which she knew was out of the question, so she let him continue.

“Doug Claudlooper has been building this fancy surfboard that he wants me to use in Sunday’s competition.”

TJ returned to her old habits. “Uh-huh.” (Better safe than sorry.)

“I mean, it’s supposed to help me win and everything—even with this stupid cast, which no one would notice under my wet suit.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But using a nonregulation board is definitely cheating, and I just don’t know if I want to do that.”

If TJ’s jaw had dropped any lower, it would have hit the sand. Was it possible? He was struggling with the very thing she was! Unbelievable. Here she was, feeling so alone and cut off, absolutely positive that nobody would understand what she was going through . . . and then, out of the blue, this incredible guy showed up and said he was fighting exactly the same thing. Amazing. She
wasn’t
alone. She wanted to say all this and more, but her throat was already closing up with emotion. She cleared it and tried to speak, to blurt out all these feelings and more, but of course nothing came . . . unless you count tears filling her eyes.

Tears?!
she thought.
Oh, brother, what’s that about?
She turned her head. If she was lucky, he wouldn’t see them. (Then again, we all know about her luck.)

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

She angrily swiped at her eyes.

“Are you crying?”

She shook her head, refusing to look at him.

“You are, aren’t you? What did I say this time?”

And then, before she could stop herself, she turned and bolted away. She wasn’t sure why. All she knew was she had to get away before he thought she was a total mental case—which, she figured, he might already suspect.

“Hey!” he shouted.

But TJ didn’t turn back. She just kept running.

“I’m sorry!”

Tears spilled onto her cheeks and ran down her face.

“Whatever I said, I’m really, really sorry!”

She didn’t answer, just kept running.

TIME TRAVEL LOG:

Malibu, California, October 21—supplemental

Begin Transmission:

Uninvited guest dropped by. Subject not home, so we entertained. Had great time—except for the ghosts.

End Transmission

As TJ was busy having her little meltdown with Chad, Elizabeth was having her little break-in at TJ’s.

Actually, it was pretty easy to break in through TJ’s bathroom window. Her dad always left it open because he figured no one was small enough to climb in. Normally, he’d be right. But he’d forgotten they now lived in . . .

Malibu, California—the stick-figure capital of the world.

Malibu, California—where everyone tries to imitate the walking skeletons they see in fashion magazines.

Malibu, California—where every sickly-looking, starving girl starves herself so she could look like every other sickly-looking, starving girl.

So, needless to say, it was a breeze for Elizabeth to slip in through the window. Once inside, she began pulling out the tiny surveillance cameras Hesper’s TV producer had loaned her. They were barely the size of a pack of gum, which made Elizabeth’s plan all the easier. She’d simply stick them up around the house, turn them on by remote control, and record TJ casting spells, doing voodoo, or communicating with the mother ship.

And once she had the proof on tape, she could force TJ to do whatever she wanted for as long as she wanted.

The plan was flawless . . . except for the strange and creepy voices she heard as she entered the upstairs hallway.

“Zwork!”
a voice whispered from behind her.
“What’s she doing here
?”

Elizabeth gasped and spun around. But nobody was there.

“It’s Hesper’s best friend
,
”
another voice whispered.
“The one since forever.”

Again Elizabeth spun around. And again it was nobody. And seeing two nobodies meant the same as seeing no nobodies, which meant that the nobodies really had no bodies and were actually . . .

“GHOSTS!” Elizabeth screamed.

“WHERE
?” the first voice screamed back.

“HIDE ME!”
the second voice cried.

But Elizabeth was in no mood for a conversation . . . especially with two nobodies who had no bodies who . . . Let’s not do that again. Instead, let’s just say she had three choices:

A)
Scream and faint in fear

B)
Run for her life

C)
Escape into the nearest room

The good news was she chose C (and a little bit of A, so she could still work in the screaming).

The bad news was the nearest room was TJ’s.

Elizabeth raced into the darkened room and slammed the door behind her.

Everything was very quiet and very still . . . except for the voices whispering right beside her.

“Are they gone
?”

“Who
?”

“The ghosts!”

Elizabeth caught her breath, trying not to scream.

“How should I know? I can’t see a thing. Turn on the light.”

Elizabeth’s heart raced as the lights blazed on. Frantically, she looked about the room, but no one was there. She took a deep breath for courage and then another. Finally she called out, “Who . . . who’s there? Who are you? What’s going on?”

“How are we going to get her out of here
?”

“Good question.”

Elizabeth tried to swallow. “I . . . I’m not going anywhere.”

“Perhaps the Reverse Beam Blade
?”

“Good thinking.”

“Who are you?” Elizabeth took a step forward. “What planet do you—?”

Suddenly Elizabeth felt her body spinning around and her feet walking. But they weren’t walking forward. They were walking backward. In fact, everything about her was moving backward. Including her words:

“?—uoy od tenalp tahW ?uoy era ohW”

No matter how hard she tried to walk and talk normally, she couldn’t.

“.erehwyna gniog ton m’I . . . I”

She continued backward toward the door exactly as she had entered. Except for one minor detail.

“She’s off angle, dude.”

“What
?”

“She’s going to miss the doorway; she’s going to hit the wall.”

And that’s exactly what she did. But instead of hitting the wall and stopping, she kept right on going . . . right up the wall.

“Turn it off, Herby. Bring her back down.”

“I’m trying.”

Along with the voices, Elizabeth heard a strange

followed by more

which ended in a pathetic little

Unfortunately, her human fly routine wasn’t quite over. Because once she reached the ceiling, she took another corner and started upside down across it.

Elizabeth was definitely not having a good time. In fact, she was trying really hard to pass out, but it’s hard passing out when you’re standing upside down and all the blood is rushing to your head.

Fortunately, after a few more

and one or two more

she finally heard a slightly reassuring sound.

And just like that, she