A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (10 page)

I talked to Luke today too about getting story ideas. He said that he would think about it and let me know if he had some. I told him my title idea. I thought I would call it “The Darkness of the Soul.” It sounds so dramatic. I don't know what it will be about, but Luke thought it sounded pretty versatile.

It actually sounds kind of like it could describe my dad a little bit. Luke said that his mom is really worried about my dad. It was weird. I guess I hadn't really thought about him. I mean, I know he's sad about my mom, but I didn't think that I had to worry about him. I mean, he's the grown-up. He should be more worried about me than me about him. Not that he has to worry about me. I have so many things to do I don't even have time to be sad all the time!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: February 14, 22:34

Hi, Arthur!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! Did you have a good day?? I had a wonderful day!! I got TWO roses at school! One was RED and the other was PINK!!! I have a secret admirer LOL!!

AND the impossible happened! Sandy came to my house after school, and told me that he had sent the red rose, and asked me to be his girlfriend again!!!!!!!! OF COURSE I said YES LOL!!! It was soooo romantic! It was like a movie or something!! I was starting to think that he didn't care anymore, but then I thought maybe his poem at the poetry reading was about me but I didn't want to seem conceited or anything but then it WAS about me!! It's so awesome!!! BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER!!!

And then there's still the pink rose! Kayla said that one of them HAD to be from you because you are SO into your role as Romeo LOL!!! I told her that there was NO WAY it was from you because the writing was SO MESSY on the card, and you seem like the kind of guy whose writing would be SO NEAT LOL!

ANYWAY, I just thought I would wish you a happy Valentine's Day!! OK, I will see you in rehearsal Monday! Oh, but I PROMISED Sandy that I wouldn't kiss Romeo until the real show LOL! Otherwise he would be so jealous LOL!!

Kennedy :)

• • •

February 14th

Dear RJ,

I hate her! I hate Kennedy and I hate Sandy and I hate Valentine's Day and everything!

Why would she send me an email like that? What's her problem? Does she think I want to hear about her stupid boyfriend sending her a stupid rose and showing up on her stupid doorstep? I hate him. He thinks he's so romantic but he doesn't see how awesome Kennedy really is. He doesn't understand her. Kennedy is amazing. She is kind and smart and super talented and Sandy Dickason probably just dates her because she's pretty.

I don't get it! What does she see in him?? Doesn't she realize that I'm her soulmate? I do all the same things she does, and I like the same stuff, and I'm always there for her. Why doesn't she notice that? I KNEW I should have sent her a rose for Valentine's Day, but I thought that would be lame, and I wanted to do something more. I was going to knit her mittens, but now STUPID Sandy Dickason comes back and ruins everything! Stupid Sandy. Or should I say Stupid Arthur. I can't do anything right. I'll probably be alone forever.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Cupid Misses Mark During Poetry Reading

By Arthur Bean

Mrs. Ireland's eighth-grade English class performed original works they wrote for Valentine's Day in a lunchtime poetry reading February 14th. The poems ranged from mushy to heartbroken to downright depressing. No one should be forced to sit through an hour of rhyming couplets that end with the words
heart
and
part
. I, for one, can think of one more word that rhymes with
heart
, and it smells about as good as most of the poetry at the reading. School events like this are excellent reasons as to why the lunch period should be shortened to thirty minutes.

Of course, there were a few poems that stood out in the sea of banality. Daisy Yau's poem “Grandfather Clock” was simple and moving, capturing the love between granddaughter and grandfather. Amaya Hazmeet wrote and performed a ballad called “Heartbroken Annie.” Although the lyrics were forced at times, her guitar playing was good and broke up the monotony of the poems. The worst poem award goes to Sandy Dickason for his poem titled “Love Is All Around My Heart.” It's possible that this was plagiarized, because it sure sounded like it was written by a six-year-old. It is expected that he will be suspended for writing terrible poems.

Arthur,

Ouch! You're being a little harsh on the eighth-grade class! Remember that chat we had during the last layout session? We talked about being objective and not letting our feelings get in the way of our work. I think you're very creative, Arthur, but your articles aren't up to the quality that I know you can do. I've asked Kennedy to write up something on the poetry reading that is more positive, and I need you to take a good look inside and decide if you really want to be part of the newspaper team. I'm happy to chat with you about anything you want, and I'm even here if you'd like to vent about something you didn't enjoy, but if you're going to continue with the newspaper, we need to work on developing objective writing skills (and biting our tongue when it's necessary).

Thanks, Arthur. I really do appreciate your sense of humor and creativity, and you've got a great work ethic!

Mr. E.

PS What kind of flowers are the worst gifts on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!

• • •

Romeo and Juliet—
a Star's Reflection

By Romeo

Act 1, Scene 4

In this scene I have to be devious. It's important that I get into the party at Juliet's house, but they can't know that I am not invited. So I have to come up with a plan to sneak in. It's very sneaky. I don't know if it's the right idea or not, but I am pretty desperate to get into the greatest party of the century. We all have to do things that aren't morally right sometimes, to get ahead, and maybe Juliet is dating someone else right now, but I'm sure once she sees me at the party, she will fall in love with me instead of that other guy.

I know that it will all turn out right in the end. I'm sure of it. Because it has to, right? I am the hero, so things are going to work out for me, I think.

Your reflections are getting stronger, Arthur. Next time try focusing on something specific in your life, rather than being very general. Find the poetry in the everyday emotion… I think you will find it easier to fully immerse yourself in Romeo that way, rather than focusing on the action of the scene.

Believe!

Mr. Tan

• • •

February 20th

Dear RJ,

What a terrible week. All my teachers hate me. Even Mr. Everett, who is always super nice to me, was mean to me this week. It's his fault though. I'm just trying to be honest, and all he wants for the newspaper is puppies and kittens and sunshine. It's not true to life, RJ. I'm just telling it like it is.

I've been thinking about it all week, and I'm still so mad about Kennedy getting back together with Sandy. She's the one missing out. I'm smart. I'm nice. I'm fun. I'm going to be famous one day. I think she was trying to hurt me because she knows that I should win the story contest. I
should
win the story contest.

But I won't, will I, RJ? Because you need a story to win, not just a couple of ideas or a title. You know, I'll probably come in last place. Even Robbie will beat me, because his story ideas are good and he'll illustrate it or something. He'll probably win even though he said that he wouldn't enter the competition.

That's how much my life will suck then. As if it doesn't suck right now.

You know, RJ, other people don't understand what it's like to lose something really big in your life. People like Kennedy. She's one of those people where everything goes right in her life all the time. I HATE those people! And now I'm going to lose the contest and I guess I'll just add that to my list of lost things: my mom and my potential girlfriend and my future.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: February 22nd

Worked On:

neither artie or me didnt want to do anything today so we didnt. then artie went home early anyway

—Robbie

• • •

Assignment: Conflict

This week we studied conflict in short stories. There are different kinds of conflict:

1) Person versus Person: a conflict between your characters

2) Person versus Him/Herself: your character has an internal struggle over what is right or wrong

3) Person versus Nature: your character struggles against natural forces, such as an animal or the weather

4) Person versus Supernatural: your character struggles with forces outside our earth, like ghosts, aliens, or werewolves, etc.

Think of a conflict that you have dealt with in your life and describe it. If you decide to use a conflict that is ongoing, create a good ending for your story from your imagination. Please underline the climax of your story, as we did for the other short stories we read in class.

Due: March 7

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: March 1st

Worked On: Conflict

Artie helped me alot with my conflict assignment for next week he said that it was good he thought but hear it is anyway in case I should change it.

—Robbie

My mom has a job. She travels alot for work. She goes to the States alot and leaves me and my brother at home with my dad who can only cook omelets. One day my mom comes home and says that she has a trip to North Carolina for two weeks. She leaves for work but then her sister (my aunt) gets into a car accident. My dad tries to call my mom in North Carolina but she is not staying at the hotel. She doesn't call back and finds out about her sister (my aunt) when she comes home. My dad and her sister (my aunt) are suspicious when she has a tan. My dad and mom fight alot more.

My mom's company gets downsized and she loses her job. She cries alot but then she still goes to North Carolina, and my dad gets really mad about it.
My parents take my brother and me to Hawaii to tell us that they are getting a divorce.
My mom is now in love with a salesman in North Carolina and is moving away. My dad cries alot, even though my dad never cries. My dad puts the house up for sale, but no one will buy it. We still live there, but my dad gets really nervous about finances and paying for stuff alone. We eat alot of omelets.

Ms. Whitehead: Robbie still doesn't believe me that a lot is two words. You have to tell him. Other than that, you should probably give him an A on this. I think it's pretty dramatic.

—Arthur

• • •

Conflict in My Life

By Arthur Bean

Arthur Bean goes to junior high and is surrounded by a bunch of new people. Arthur meets a girl in his gym class. She is awesome at playing volleyball, but she is also nice to the people who can't play volleyball. She is very competitive too, and she swears at the other team when she loses her first game. Then she gets really embarrassed and apologizes to the class. Because she is honest, the teacher doesn't report her for swearing.

Arthur is paired with the volleyball girl for a city-wide writing competition. The volleyball girl wants to spend more time with Arthur, but his busy schedule doesn't allow him to see her very often. This upsets the volleyball girl, but Arthur has to do what he has to do for his art. The volleyball girl goes away at Christmas on a ski trip, but writes Arthur long love letters.
Arthur feels conflicted about entering the story contest because the volleyball girl's story will also be in the running for the best story.
However, he also knows that she is pretty nice, and shouldn't have to feel bad when he wins.

The volleyball girl falls madly in love with Arthur while rehearsing
Romeo and Juliet
and decides not to enter the competition so that Arthur can win the story contest. Instead, she decides to focus on becoming a famous actress and volleyball player.

Arthur is touched by the volleyball girl's generosity in stepping aside for his career. Since both of them are happy, Arthur gives in to her love for him and marries her.

Dear Arthur,

You failed to identify a real conflict
between
your characters. In a short story, the conflict should happen quickly to engage the reader. When we work on our short stories for class, try and make the inciting action the beginning of your conflict. I'm certain you have better real-life examples of conflict than this one!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

Romeo and Juliet
—
a Star's Reflection

By Romeo

Act 2, Scene 4

In this scene I am considering changing my name, because then I will be happier with my true love. This is our first meeting where I get to speak to her, and it is both exciting and terrible. It is a happy encounter because I learn that Juliet feels the same way about me as I do about her. This reminds me of a time Kennedy wrote me an email telling me she was excited to be my partner in a writing group. I knew then that the universe had linked us to be soulmates. But it is also torture, because we can't be together.

This is kind of like the disappointment I feel when my cousins come to town, and we have a really fun time together, but then they leave. So I really like it when they visit, but then I'm really sad that they don't live closer to me so that we could hang out all the time. It's not romantic at all, but it definitely sucks in the same way that it sucks for Romeo that he can't be Juliet's boyfriend because their parents hate each other. Lucky for me, I don't think Kennedy's parents have ever met my dad. Not that they would hate him. He's a nice guy, but he's really quiet and doesn't do much. Maybe they would hate him for that. I doubt it though.

Beautiful work, Arthur. Such true emotions will be a powerful beacon for dramatization as we run through the scene…the best actors are able to direct their emotions through someone else's words. Now that you have tapped into something tied to your soul, try and use these things as your motivation to get to the end of the scene.

Mr. Tan

• • •

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: March 9th

Worked On: Stuff

notheing to report

—Robbie

Ditto.

—Arthur Bean

• • •

March 10th

Dear RJ,

BIG NEWS! It turns out ROBBIE ZACK was the guy who sent Kennedy the secret admirer rose! AS IF!

He told me today during tutoring! He kept making comments about this girl he liked and how she totally led him on and stuff. So finally I asked him what he was talking about, and he totally spilled the beans to the Bean (ha-ha-ha, that's a little name humor for you, RJ). So then he tells me about how his dad finally sold their house and they'll be moving, and Kennedy is too busy with her
boyfriend
to notice that he's moving to a whole other neighborhood. Then he told me about sending her the rose but how his romantic gesture was lost because Sandy came back. It made me so glad that I didn't send her a rose too—mine would have been the same! Then he actually asked ME for advice. I didn't have any advice. I just told him that she was really nice and didn't mean to ignore him or something. But no WONDER he was upset about not getting to be Romeo!

You know, RJ, I can't tell if I feel bad for Robbie, or if I feel good about him feeling bad. I mean, I guess I should be more mad at him, because now we're in competition for the same girl, but there's no way he has a shot. I mean, he said he lived next door, so of course you're nice to the person who lives next door to you.

I bet Kennedy thinks of him more like a brother.

I actually think I maybe feel a little bit bad for the guy. I definitely know how he feels, but it must be worse for him, since he doesn't have any chance with her.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Assignment: Short Story

It's time to put together all the elements that we have studied lately and exercise our creativity by writing short stories! This major project is not due until June, so feel free to talk to me throughout the process. You can use any element of a previous assignment as your jumping-off point if you wish.

A few reminders:

Choose your protagonist and your point of view. Who is telling the story? Who is the story about?

Develop your characters. Make them real people with real problems.

Use dialogue. This helps develop your characters, and moves your story forward.

Pick a conflict. What is your character trying to achieve? What obstacles are in his or her way?

Resolve your story. Don't leave your reader hanging. Choose a plot line that is short enough to fit into a short story; I don't have time to grade thirty novels!

The hardest part about writing is getting started. Don't be daunted by a blank page; you can go back and fix things after you've started. Don't think; just write!

Don't leave your story until the last minute! I've given you a lot of time to work on it, and I hope you will use your time wisely and write an outline and a few drafts. A piece that is thrown together the weekend before the due date is easy to spot in a sea of polished stories.

Due: June 6

• • •

MS. WHITEHEAD

We are sorry to announce that Ms. Whitehead has broken her hip in a skiing accident this weekend and will not be at school for a few weeks. She is recovering comfortably at home and is in good spirits despite the accident.

If any students would like to sign a get-well card for Ms. Whitehead, please visit the office before Thursday.

• • •

March 14th

Dear RJ,

I can't believe Ms. Whitehead broke her hip! I knew she was older because only old people break their hips. But she can't be that old—she was skiing! She must be very fit for her age.

I feel bad for Ms. Whitehead. I'll write something nice in the get-well card. I'm sure that will cheer her up.

I wonder if this means we don't have to turn in that short story assignment we just got.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Romeo and Juliet
—
a Star's Reflection

By Romeo

Act 2, Scene 3

In this scene I am debating whether Juliet really wants to be with me. I mean, REALLY wants to be with me. It seems that I am making all these plans for our future together, and all she does is talk to her nurse about stuff and occasionally say nice things about me from her balcony. It's very infuriating. So I am sitting back and taking stock of what is really important. I know I love her, but does she love me back? She seems to be really into Mercutio instead. I mean, maybe she loves me in secret and that would be okay, but at some point she has to commit to being my girlfriend.

I think you misread this scene, Arthur. This is not quite what Romeo is doing in the play, and I'm not sure that he really ever questions Juliet's love in this manner. If you have any questions about the language Shakespeare uses, we can discuss it after rehearsal. I find it's best to read it with your heart, not your head. Trust in your soul!

Mr. Tan

• • •

Assignment: Reading Comprehension Worksheet

We will be continuing our active reading by discussing different techniques that can be used to keep the reader's interest. Please read the first short story in your anthology. After you're done, fill in some of your own reflections about the story on the worksheet and hand them in to Mrs. Carrell by the end of the period.

There will be no extensions given on this assignment. It is imperative that you use your class time effectively.

• • •

Arthur Bean

7A

“The Lake” Worksheet

1. Who is the protagonist of the story? How do you know?

The protagonist is the main character of the story. I know because he is the one the author talks about the most.

2. Where does the story take place? What is the time of year?

The story takes place on a farm, because all of the most boring Canadian stories take place on farms. This one is different because it takes place in the summer and Canadians normally only write about winter.

3. What is the mood of the story? How do you know?

The mood is quiet and sleepy. I know because I fell asleep reading it.

4. Describe the plot of the story in 3 to 5 sentences.

The main character Johnnie goes to the lake. He drops a ball in the lake and cries about it because his father is mean. Johnnie gets the ball out after thinking about it for a long time. He decides to leave the farm but he leaves the ball on his bed.

5. What is the theme of the story?

The theme of the story is that balls prefer sleeping to swimming.

6. Many authors use symbols in their stories. What do you think the ball symbolizes?

The ball symbolizes Johnnie's love for his father. It might symbolize the world, since it is also round. It could also symbolize how the author wants to drown himself because he knows that he is really boring and ruining the lives of students everywhere by writing the world's worst story.

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

Mrs. Carrell is making me write you a letter to explain my answers on the worksheet. I explained to her that my best work is not done working in restricted space, and that I did the best I could answering the questions. It's not my fault that she reads my answers as being “impertinent” and “disrespectful to the learning process.” I think that my answers to her worksheet show my creative thinking and my attempt to go above and beyond the exercise. At least when you were here we didn't just fill in the blanks on a stupid worksheet.

Get well soon.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

March 16th

Dear RJ,

I came up with a really great story idea! I'm thinking that my story will be about a snake tamer. He'll work for the circus as a snake trainer, and he'll have all these really dangerous snakes that work for him, and he can hypnotize them and stuff. He gets the snakes to commit a crime of some kind and then the circus goes on to the next town, so he's like a mastermind criminal and he decides to do something big or something. I don't know what will happen next, but I think it's a good start. I'm going to start writing it this weekend. It can be all mysterious and I can describe a lot of foggy nighttime scenes. This could be it, RJ! I think I've got a winner!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Assignment: Limericks

Since today is St. Patrick's Day, I thought we would write limericks in class. As you know, a limerick has a very specific rhyme scheme and syllable count. Grades will be awarded based on the adherence to the specifications of the limerick poem. Remember, the limerick is often a cheeky and fun poem, but this is a school classroom. I don't want to see anyone crossing over any lines of good taste, so keep your poems clean or I will have to bring your behavior to the attention of Ms. Whitehead for discipline upon her return.