A Woman of Influence (39 page)

That night, when Nelly came to assist her mistress in preparing for bed, she found her seated at her dressing table, solemnly regarding her face in the mirror.

Having laid out her nightclothes and warmed the bed, Nelly stood behind her, ready to take down her hair as she always did. Becky favoured a somewhat old-fashioned style and had resisted her maid's attempts to change it.

She caught Nelly's eye in the mirror and said, "What do you think, Nelly? It's not such a bad face, is it?"

Taken aback by the question, Nelly said, "No, ma'am; I mean, it's a very handsome face, ma'am. I do believe if you would let me do your hair a little differently, like Mrs Bingley's perhaps, it would look even nicer, ma'am."

Anna Bingley was not just beautiful, she was always tastefully dressed and coiffured. Her hair was always elegantly styled.

Becky smiled. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes, ma'am," Nelly replied and, for good measure, revealed that when they had been in London with the Bingleys, she had learnt exactly how Mrs Bingley's maid dressed her mistress's hair and, having practised on the parlour maid, was quite ready to try it out on Becky.

"I think it will suit very well, ma'am," she said, persuasively.

Becky nodded and, having looked critically at her hair in the mirror, said, "Very well then, perhaps I shall let you try it out before the wedding."

Nelly, her eyes wide, bit her lip to keep from exclaiming too loudly. Eyes glistening, she clasped her hands in front of her and asked, "Oh ma'am, is there to be a wedding then?"

"Yes, Nelly, I think there is," Becky replied softly.

The girl held her mistress's hands and wept. "I knew it, ma'am; I told you he was a lovely gentleman, and I think he loves you very much. Oh ma'am, I am so happy."

Nelly knew more than anyone else what Becky's life had been, having shared her home and much of her life for many years. She had seen both the success and the sorrow, the disillusion and hurt, and had longed to see her mistress happy again.

Becky patted her hands. "There now, see what you have done! You've made me break my promise to my dear sister! I gave her my word that she would be the first to know, and now I have told you. Never mind, Nelly my dear, don't you fret; I do believe you've been through so much with me, you deserve to know, but you must not speak of it to anyone else yet, and remember, Mrs Burnett must never learn of this conversation," she cautioned.

Nelly nodded, thrilled to have the responsibility of keeping such a secret; she smiled like the sun breaking through a cloud and declared, "Oh yes, ma'am, certainly not, ma'am, my lips are sealed."

When the sisters met the following day, their meeting turned out exactly as Becky had hoped it would. She had had some misgivings, wondering how Catherine and her husband would respond to Mr Contini, but she need not have worried.

With Frank Burnett's extensive knowledge of Europe, his travels and studies in France and Italy, the two men had plenty to talk about and there was never an awkward moment between them.

The dinner proved to be so delectable and the company so convivial that they hardly noticed the passage of time. Indeed, afterwards, when Mr Burnett discovered that their guest was staying at the local inn, he applied immediately to his wife to ask if they might not accommodate him under their own roof more agreeably.

Catherine agreed they could.

"There are two empty rooms, and you are very welcome to stay. It will not be luxurious, but I am sure it will be more comfortable and convenient than the inn," she said, and Mr Contini, after a little hesitation, for he was reluctant to impose upon them, was happy to be persuaded.

They arranged to send a servant for his things and had a room prepared for him, for which favour he was most grateful, recalling the rather cold accommodation at the inn.

Becky, seeing the generosity and warmth with which her sister and brother-in-law had accepted Mr Contini, was close to tears. Their hospitality and general friendliness towards him had exceeded all her expectations and convinced her that she had indeed made the right decision.

Later, as the gentlemen, both of whom had an abiding interest in Italian politics, settled down to drink port and talk of the Risorgimento and Mr Garibaldi's heroic struggle to unite Italy, the two sisters slipped away to Catherine's room to enjoy their own share of the happiness that Becky had finally found. Cognisant of the doubts that Becky had previously suffered, Catherine was determined to assure her sister of her pleasure at seeing her so happy, for it had become very clear to her that afternoon that the presence of Mr Contini had transformed Becky's life.

Becky had no reserve from her sister, knowing well that Catherine would set her happiness above any other consideration; she told her of the manner in which they had met again in London and of the part she suspected Jonathan Bingley had played in bringing them together.

Catherine was incredulous.

"Jonathan did that? Becky, I cannot believe it, he is such a proper gentleman, I cannot see him becoming involved in such a stratagem!"

"Well, neither could I," said Becky, "and while I did have my suspicions about his prior knowledge of the arrangement, I could not be certain until yesterday, when Mr Contini informed me himself. It seems Jonathan kept him in the dark as well! I was as surprised as you are."

Having heard all of the story, Catherine offered another view.

"It is possible of course, to see his actions in another light--not frivolous matchmaking at all, but as something done with the best of intentions--to help a friend, whom he knew to be in love with you, and give him the best opportunity to approach you," she argued.

"It might also be that Jonathan, aware of Mr Tate's conduct towards you, may have seen this as another chance for happiness for you too. Do you not think so, Becky?" she asked.

Becky laughed merrily.

"Indeed, Cathy, I am perfectly willing now, in my present state of felicity, to believe the very best of Jonathan Bingley and anyone else you care to name. Of course he wished to help his friend, who had confided in him and asked for his advice. Perhaps you are right that he also thought I deserved another chance at happiness. Whichever it was, and I am sure either or both were motivated only by the goodness of his heart, I have forgiven him completely for the tiny deception he practised, now that Mr Contini and I are so happily agreed upon our future."

She smiled and then was solemn again, as she took her sister's hand.

"Cathy, I can scarcely believe it. Can it really be that I am at last to be truly happy?"

Catherine was quick to respond.

"Of course it is, why must you be so dubious, so lacking in confidence, Becky? This is not like you at all; of all of us, you were the one with the most assurance, you were determined and bold."

"I was, and yet that self-assurance has deserted me often in the last few years," Becky admitted.

"Why, Becky? I know things have been difficult for you recently, but you have had courage and influence and have achieved so much in public life."

Catherine could not comprehend her sister's attitude, which seemed almost to suggest that she was undeserving of the happiness she was now offered. Determined to be direct, she asked, "Becky, you do love him? You are sure of that?"

Becky spoke candidly, with a degree of openness she could use with her sister, without the fear of being misconstrued.

"Yes, Cathy, I love him dearly and I want very much to marry him, but I am afraid. I know it must sound strange, but I cannot help being uneasy; you see, each time I took a chance or grasped some opportunity that life offered, hoping it would bring success or happiness for me or my family, it has turned to dust."

She was looking down at her hands; her voice was low, and Cathy strained to hear her.

"With Mr Tate, we had much in common; I had hoped we could help one another. I wanted to write, he sought success in business and politics, and I thought if I worked hard at promoting all his favourite causes, we would be successful and happy together. But, in the end, although I did work very hard for him, there was little happiness for either of us and even less love between us."

Catherine was in no doubt of her sister's anguish as she continued.

"Then there was Josie. I doted on her, Cathy, and so did her father; we would have given our lives for her. All I wanted was the best for her; yet, when things went awry and we lost her, my husband, like Mrs Darcy, blamed me and turned away from me altogether. At the time I most needed him, he left me to grieve alone."

Her voice broke and Catherine embraced her, comforting her. "Dearest Becky, please do not upset yourself all over again. I know how hard it has been, but it is going to be different now, you must believe that. Mr Contini loves you very much, I can see it. He wants to make you happy and you must let him."

Becky dabbed at her eyes.

"He does, but do I deserve it, Cathy?" she cried, and it took all of her sister's powers of persuasion to restore her spirits and convince her that her present chance of happiness was not undeserved.

Catherine was quite firm.

"Becky, I cannot understand how you, who have helped so many people over the years, why even so recently as last week, with the Rickmans for whom you have done so much, how can you believe that you alone do not deserve happiness? Do not judge your past actions too harshly, my dear; you were very young and had no one to counsel you. I know that you respected and liked Mr Tate; it was not as if you had married him for money or position. You cannot carry all the blame for what went wrong; others too were culpable, and though I have no wish to speak ill of your late husband, his conduct after Josie's death was selfish and reprehensible. I said so at the time to Mother and she agreed with me."

As Becky listened to her increasingly passionate words, Catherine went on, "You have a future now, Becky, and the past is no longer important. If you and Mr Contini love one another, and it is clear to me that you do, then you both deserve the happiness it can bring you. There, that is all I am going to say on the matter.

"Now, promise me that you are going to let him make you as happy as I am with Frank, for that is the best I can wish for you."

Becky was deeply grateful for her sister's gentle kindness and sound common sense. She assured her she intended to enjoy the happiness that Mr Contini had brought into her life, because, as she explained, "I love him dearly, Cathy, and I have never known such joy as I feel when I am with him."

When the sisters went downstairs, the gentlemen were engrossed in a discussion of Frank Burnett's work at Rosings, and arrangements had been made to show Mr Contini around the Rosings Estate on the morrow.

He was particularly interested in some of the treasures that had been rescued from the fire, and Frank Burnett was eager to have his opinion of some of the fine old paintings that had been recently restored.

Becky's greatest satisfaction came from seeing the man she loved welcomed so readily into the circle of her sister's family. With her mother gone, there was only Catherine, and had she expressed some reservations about Mr Contini, it would have hurt Becky deeply. With the Tates, despite her mother-in-law's kindness, she had always felt an outsider, just as Josie had been at Pemberley. This time it was quite the opposite.

The week that Mr Contini had planned to spend in Kent was soon deemed to be far too short a time, and he required little persuasion to extend his stay by a further week, during which time, they made their plans and wrote many letters to friends and family. There was time, too, to explore and enjoy the depth of their love in an environment of quiet tranquility.

Over many hours spent together not only did they discover the many matters on which they were in complete agreement, but were able also to resolve without rancour other subjects on which they were not.

For Becky there were but a few simple questions, little niggling worries about which she quizzed him.

"Do you suppose your family in Italy will approve of me?" she asked, to be met with laughter.

"Approve of you? My love, they will adore you," he had declared with great conviction, and when she followed it with another tentative enquiry, "And will they not expect us to make our home in Italy?" he had looked serious and responded confidently, "Becky my love, I have lived most of my adult life in France and England, fleeing our political enemies; now I know this is where I am happiest and where I wish to live with you. My family will not expect me to do otherwise."

Content with his responses, Becky was then faced with a question from Mr Contini; one she had long dreaded even as she knew that one day, it would be asked and she would have to give him an answer.

It reached right back into the Summer of 1866, when after months of great anguish following Josie's death, Mr Tate announced without warning that he was leaving England to travel to America on business. Alone in London, Becky had found in Aldo Contini a friend and confidante, whose generosity and kindness had opened up for her a Summer of warm friendship, filled with happy companionship and many innocent pleasures. It had helped staunch her grieving and heal her wounds, and Becky, enjoying the delights it brought, had not recognized the peril they were in, until the day they had stumbled into an intensely passionate intimacy, during which they had both admitted to being in love. Becky had never known such a transforming moment before. Yet, soon afterwards, riven with guilt, she had ended the association and fled.