A Woman of Independent Means (46 page)

Our husbands arrive tomorrow and sunshine is predicted. To celebrate their arrival, I have made dinner reservations for all of us, including children, at the Balinese Room on the pier. Eleanor and Nell were in favor of hiring babysitters and leaving the children behind but I find children behave as they are treated. If they are accorded the same respect as adults, they can be counted on to display comparable manners. Besides, none of them has ever seen food served on flaming swords, and it is time they got a glimpse of some of the wonders the world contains. Why is it I feel so much closer to my grandchildren than to my children? Perhaps because they are still young enough to consider me a peer—something their parents ceased doing years ago.

The children speak often of the week we spent with you in Honey Grove. They prefer traveling without their parents because I allow them to stay up as late as they like. Remember the night you and I talked until dawn with Betsy trying her eight-year-old best to stay awake with us? The others had long since fallen asleep when she suddenly saw the sun rising and burst into tears, terrified to realize morning would come whether she had slept that night or not. But better for her to learn early that nature does not ask our consent to continue its inexorable circuit.

Love,
Bess

June 10, 1948
Quebec, Canada

Dear Eleanor and Walter,

It is a joy to hear French spoken without having to cross the Atlantic. I wonder how many other cities as fascinating as Quebec await my discovery—and how many more I will never see. You must not spend too many more summers at home. Even though you are saving money, you are spending time, and what a waste to let a summer go by without a new experience to show for it.

I hope you are making use of my television set in my absence, even though you were opposed to its purchase. I cannot argue with your reasoning that television equipment is still in an early stage of development, but at my age I cannot afford to wait for technical refinements. You are undoubtedly right in your belief that the price of a set will be reduced considerably as production increases, but I will not deny my grandchildren the miracle of visual transmission for the sake of economy. Besides, I consider the privilege of owning one of the first sets in the city to have a value commensurate with the price I paid. The television set is only one of many occasions in my life when I have paid more than other people thought I should for something I wanted, but it is my considered opinion that I have never been cheated.

When you bring the children over in the afternoon to watch television, do not hesitate to use the window air conditioner I had installed this spring. I know you consider this another of my extravagances, but once you have enjoyed the oasis of a cool room on a hot Texas afternoon, I am sure you will deem the money well spent. And if you insist on staying in Texas all summer, the least you can do is take occasional refuge in a cool room that offers a window on the world.

From here we travel to Tanglewood and then on to Chautauqua.

Love,
Bess

August 29, 1949
La Jolla, California

Dear Eleanor and Walter,

California is indeed the Promised Land. In climate and scenery it surpasses anywhere I have ever been. If it were not for my grandchildren in Texas, I would be tempted to spend the rest of my life here.

We felt like pioneers, driving across the desert from Texas, traveling by night to escape the sun, sleeping fitfully by day. An automobile is a decided improvement over a covered wagon but the trip was not without hardship all the same. However, Grace and Frank Townsend proved to be gallant traveling companions and their good cheer got us through one long night when our engine locked and we were stranded for several hours with only coyotes and cactus for company.

Totsie Fineman has a charming house here and she is happier than I have seen her since Arthur died. Her son and his wife and two children moved to Los Angeles last year. They drive down several times a year to see her, but she is surprisingly content living alone.

Dwight opened a branch of his interior decorating business in San Francisco some years ago and it is so successful he now spends half his time there. Totsie met him quite by accident when she was in San Francisco last winter. It was the first time she had seen him since their son's wedding eight years ago, and what happened between them apparently took them both by surprise. Totsie said it was like meeting a stranger and suddenly discovering how much you have in common.

Their son has no idea they are seeing each other and they have decided not to tell him—at least for now. They seem to enjoy the clandestine aspect of their relationship and prefer to visit their son and his family separately rather than appear together in the conventional role of grandparents.

We are driving to Los Angeles tomorrow. Craig has graciously invited all of us to lunch at the studio and promised to introduce us to at least one movie star before we leave. I am sorry we will not be in Dallas to celebrate Betsy's birthday but we will drink a toast to her that night at the Cocoanut Grove.

I wish you were here with us. Next year we must all travel together. It is time for the children to realize Texas is not the only state in the union.

Love,
Bess

July 10, 1950
Ocean City, New Jersey

Dear Lydia and Manning,

The whole family has gathered here for two weeks at my expense and I am relishing the role of matriarch. All three families traveled by different routes from Texas, reliving moments from the past and finally arriving at a place new to all of us.

Eleanor and Walter drove by way of Maryland where his sister and her husband were waiting to meet the wife and children they had never seen. Andrew and Nell flew with their two children to Virginia and visited relatives still living in the county named after her maternal ancestors. They saw the college so dear to Nell in the Blue Ridge Mountains, then flew to Boston to visit Andrew's prep school roommate. Sam and I stopped first in Philadelphia where we were shocked to learn that Sam's first wife had died of a heart attack five years ago. It is so strange to have a large part of one's past obliterated without a trace.

I planned this summer in the hope that my grandchildren would begin to see how deeply their lives are rooted in people and places unknown to them until now. I am convinced that the more they know of the past, the more they will derive from the present.

Eleanor and Andrew were at first opposed to this trip on the grounds that it would be too expensive but I would rather have my grandchildren remember me for the experiences we shared than for the money I leave them to spend alone. I hope they will one day look back on this summer with the happiness I feel at this moment.

Children squander the present because they think it will never end. It is up to the adults who love them to impose the form and meaning that will make each day worth reliving in memory. But parents are faced with so many daily responsibilities for the care of their children, they have little time to consider their future and even less time to remind them of their past. It falls to us grandparents to enrich their present experience with stories from the past and dreams for the future.

The children are calling me to come play in the ocean. Their parents have gone back to their rooms and Sam is taking a nap, but I promised to stay out with them until the sun sets.

Love,
Bess

July 9, 1952
aboard the S.S.
Caronia
at the Arctic Circle

Dear Totsie,

I do not know exactly when I began to plan this trip. I think it was soon after my sixtieth birthday that I was seized with a longing to see the land of the midnight sun.

It is now 11:55 P.M. and the sun is still several feet above the horizon. This is the lowest point it will reach in the sky and soon it will start its upward climb toward noon. Everyone around me is taking pictures by the light of the midnight sun but there is no way for a camera to capture the sensation of a day that never ends. The memory will illuminate all the nights left to me.

It is just as well Sam did not come with me. He would go mad to see the universe mock the pattern of day and night by which he has ordered his life.

I suppose I should go below now and try to sleep, but I have never been one to close my eyes while the sun is shining.

Give my love to Dwight the next time you see him.

Je t'embrasse,
Bess

March 24, 1953
aboard the S.S.
Lurline
en route to Hawaii

Dear Mavis,

I felt like Magellan when we left Los Angeles harbor, sailing west to a whole new world. My only regret is that our final destination is Hawaii and not the Orient, but Sam would simply not hear of extending our itinerary beyond the authority of the United States.

The night before we left Dallas, Eleanor and Walter gave a gala bon voyage party for us, complete with leis and ukelele music. Then after all the guests had gone, my daughter surprised me with the announcement that I was going to have another grandchild. I am still in a state of shock.