A Widow's Hope (40 page)

“I’m not, and I hope you don’t either after you hear me out.”
Hannah had made up her mind that keeping secrets between two people in love was no way to begin a relationship. He had said it didn’t matter and she needn’t talk about painful things from the past. But it mattered to her. Her fears had hampered her at every turn. And she had no further desire to be afraid.

They reached the creek that eventually wound its way into the Tuscarawas River. Moss and matted leaves from many past autumns covered the banks. The trunk of an uprooted dead tree made a fine settee for meditation or conversation. Seth sat on the log and pulled Hannah into his arms.

She kissed him and then pulled from his embrace. “Last month wasn’t the first time I had been warned by the elders that I might be shunned,” she said without preamble. Hannah didn’t believe in inching your way into cold water; she preferred to jump into the deep end and get it over with. “Once in Lancaster, I stood up during a congregational meeting and voiced my opinion. Back home, same as in this district, women never do such things. They let their men voice all the opinions as stated in 1 Corinthians 14:34: ‘Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak.’” Hannah walked two paces away and wiped her palms down her skirt.

“What was the problem that had you so riled up?” Seth asked quietly.

“They were discussing the
Ordnung
for upgrading milking operations in such a way that might allow Grade-A certification for the dairy farmers’ milk. Some of the men didn’t wish to even consider the new equipment, even though it ran on propane and not electricity. Batteries would be required only for timers and such, and those could be recharged with a solar panel.” Hannah glanced back at Seth, who was swatting a mosquito but otherwise seemed unfazed. “A couple of my friends,” she continued, “wouldn’t be able to stay in dairy farming if they couldn’t get a better price than what was being paid by cheese producers.”

Seth waited for more of the story, and when none was forthcoming, he said, “That’s it? You stood up and voiced your opinion in public?”

Hannah nodded solemnly.

Seth appeared to be fighting back a grin.

“You find my shame amusing, Seth Miller?”

“Not at all. I just imagined you were hiding something far worse.” Now he did smile. “I briefly pictured some
Englischer
had seen you wearing shorts, a baseball cap, makeup, and red nail polish at a Phillies ball game. You had been cheering loudly, and they reported
that
back to the ministerial brethren.”

Hannah shook her head. “Oh, Seth.”

“Or you had cut your hair really short on a whim after sipping some of your pa’s apple jack.”

She faced him with arms akimbo. “You are truly impossible. How you managed to have a child as angelic as Phoebe is a testimony to Constance’s fine qualities.”

Seth rose from the log and encircled her in his arms. He brushed a string of kisses across her forehead and down the bridge of her nose. “We’d best get married right away. If we wait until December, you’re bound to find out Phoebe is no angel.” His lips finally found hers with a sweet kiss.

Hannah allowed herself to be enfolded by his embrace. It felt so good to be cared for, to be part of a couple again.

“I’ve got my own confession,” he said close to her ear.

She stepped away and walked to the log. After seating herself primly she patted the spot next to her. “Come and tell me what you’ve done.” She tried to act serious.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I had a talk with my daughter. She had one of those bed-wetting episodes last week. I thought we were all done with that. I’ve been spending a lot more time with her.” He took a seat on the log. “I sat her down and asked what’s going on. I told her she didn’t have to worry ’bout your taking all my attention. I’ve got plenty enough for both of you.”

Hannah held her breath as he paused in his story. “What did she say?” she asked.

“She started crying and said she was afraid you would leave her… just like her
mamm
did.” Seth stared off into the forest.

No cricket chirped nor owl hooted. The woods, almost dark now, were strangely silent as Hannah mulled this over. A shiver ran up her spine, and her breath caught in her throat.
The child really does love me. And so does her father.

“Oh, Seth, tell her I’m not leaving. Tell her I’m going to stay and be the best wife and mother in Holmes County.” Then Hannah remembered Scripture on pride and added in a soft voice, “At least I’m going to give it a try.”

Seth pulled her to her feet and into a hug. “Well, that’s good enough for us.”

She stood wrapped in his arms in the complete darkness. Night sounds encroached from all sides—rustling leaves, a snapping twig, the mournful cry of a nightjar. But Hannah felt safe and secure, and never more loved in all her life.

It probably was a good idea Hannah had agreed to an October wedding instead of marrying back in Lancaster with Thomas in December. For one thing, she didn’t want to steal an ounce of attention away from Catherine, a first-time bride. Those two would have plenty of guests to plan and provide for. Catherine came from a very large family, and both had many friends. For another reason, Hannah was amazed how many friends and acquaintances she had in Holmes County—all fairly surprising for a hermit.

As soon as the bishop announced their engagement, she’d received lots of cards and notes from well-wishers. She had met many of these women at the barn raising. And almost all of those who had sheep
had followed through with donations of wool so she could fulfill her promise to Mrs. Dunn.

These days she and Emma spun on their new wheel in an empty end of the barn loft. A replacement loom would have to wait. With Emma still so eager to embark on an enterprise with her, Hannah didn’t know where the new workroom should be. Probably one at each farm would be the best solution.

Hannah had little time to plan for the upcoming wedding. She and Julia, along with help from Emma, Leah, and Phoebe, had their hands full canning the bounty from the garden. Each of the girls had been assigned her own tasks. Seth, Simon, and the boys were cutting, raking, and baling the second hay crop at both farms. As busy as they were, her eldest niece didn’t allow an hour to pass without bringing up the event.

“What do you think of this shade of blue for a wedding dress?” Emma held up a plump blueberry about to go into the blanching kettle. Canned blueberries would offer a nice change from apple and peach pies during the winter.

Hannah turned from the stove where she was sterilizing jars. The fruit was a shade of bright purple. “Emma, that’s a tad bright for even a first-time bride—totally inappropriate for a widow getting remarried.”

Emma popped the rejected berry into her mouth.

“Why don’t you two take the buggy to Sugar Creek tomorrow morning?” Julia asked. “I’ll be just fine with my other helpers.” She patted Leah’s and Phoebe’s shoulders as they chopped up tomatoes. “Buy some fabric for your dress so we can work on it in the evenings. Otherwise Emma won’t give us one quiet moment.”

“You’re sure you can manage?” asked Hannah.

“I’m sure.” Julia looked more relaxed than she had in a long time. The fearsome mood Simon had described hadn’t lasted for long. “You girls go out to the garden and pick the rest of the green beans. We
might as well finish them before we turn the kitchen into a sty canning sweet corn.”

Emma started to complain, but Julia raised her stern eyebrow. “Go, Emma. I wish a private moment with your aunt.”

Reluctantly the three left the steamy kitchen with their baskets.

“Goodness, you would think she’d appreciate a breath of cooler air,” Julia said.

“She’s worried she will miss something. She’s growing up fast.” Hannah finished trimming the last of the beets to be pickled, thinking about Seth the entire time.

“Too fast,” Julia said, drying her hands. She slipped into the chair across from Hannah. “Another month and we will both be Mrs. Miller…”

“They won’t be able to tell which of us baked the
good
pie at the potlucks. That should work to my advantage,” Hannah teased.

Julia leaned against the chair back. “I’m proud of you, sister. It took guts to go to Seth’s instead of the train station, especially with the Lees right there.”

Hannah grinned. “At least I would’ve been able to get away quickly if he’d ordered me off his property.”

“True enough, but I knew he wouldn’t do that.” Julia stretched her hand across the table. “Are you happy, sister? Do you think you can finally find contentment?”

Hannah set down the paring knife and covered Julia’s hand with hers. “
Jah,
I am. And I’ve already found contentment. Seth and Phoebe make me happier than I deserve to be.”

Julia shook her head. “You do deserve it. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. Only to not stop trying.”

“I will try each day to make Seth proud.”

“Keep turning to the Lord in prayer; all help can be found there.” She reached for a tablet and pen. “Now, without Emma interrupting every thought and notion we have, let’s write down what you want for your wedding luncheon. The whole district will be here,
and Simon will probably invite everyone from the barn raising if we don’t stop him.”

“I know Simon’s viewpoint on fires, but I thought we’d roast a pig a couple of days before the wedding.”

Julia furrowed her forehead.

“Not
our
sow…I couldn’t live with myself, but Seth can buy one from the packinghouse in Kidron.”

“Roast pork, it is,” Julia said, jotting it down. “How about baked apples? Fried zucchini? Baked beans?”

“
Jah,
and cucumber salad and corn on the cob.”

Julia wrote out the menu and then started listing ingredients in the side margin. “Why don’t you order the wedding cake in Sugar Creek with Emma? She would love to help pick that out.”

“All right, but I’ll try not to be gone too long.”

Julia nodded as the girls trooped in, their baskets brimming with green beans.

Warmth spread through Hannah’s belly. How nice it was to be part of a family.

The most spirited member of the family was in true form the next day. All the way to Sugar Creek, Emma chatted about everything under the sun, asked endless questions about the wedding, and dispensed plentiful advice for someone who’d just turned fifteen. But Hannah was glad for the company and for the extra pair of hands. She had far more wool to deliver to A-Stitch-in-Time than anticipated. It had taken thirty minutes and careful packing to fit it into the open wagon.

“What color will you have the women who’ll serve the food wear?” Emma asked.

“They can wear any color they please,” Hannah answered, enjoying the first streaks of fall color in the maple leaves.

Emma looked disappointed. “What about the wedding dinner in the evening?” she asked. “You’re not planning to serve more of the same roast pork and apples, are you?” She sounded scandalized.

Hannah clucked to the team to pick up the pace. “Our big meal will be at noon, after the wedding service. I have told you what we’re having—people will still be too full from that to eat more than maybe some dessert. Remember, my dear niece, this is a second marriage for your uncle and me. Things are to be more subdued.”

Emma inhaled deeply, as though ready to admonish Leah for a shortcoming. “I understand, Aunt Hannah, but you have several close friends, such as Miss Stoddard and her fiancé, plus those coming from Lancaster County. Uncle Seth also has many friends that he’ll probably want to entertain in a special manner. And what about your English friends, Mr. and Mrs. Lee and Mr. and Mrs. Dunn? Surely you intend to invite Mrs. Dunn, don’t you?” She looked at Hannah with her blue eyes shining.

Hannah wondered if the girl had thought of anything else
besides
the wedding lately. “I hadn’t considered it, Emma, but that is a good idea. I need to finish the invitations tonight and put them into the mail.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Let’s not wait another day! People have to know how to plan. October is a rather busy month compared to December.” She folded her hands in her lap and sat quietly… for about one minute. “Since we’re inviting your business associate, Mrs. Dunn, what about the Davis family from Charm?” Emma glanced at a passing pickup truck that blasted country music from its radio.