A Whisper To A Scream (11 page)

“So you got me out here,” I say as we face
each other. “What are you going to do with me?”

He laughs, amused. “What do you want me to
do?” He slides closer.

Instinctively, my arm shoots out and my
fingers brush against his stomach. His abs protrude through his
shirt and I feel like I’m a blind person reading braille. I push
him away. “Nothing.” I’m lying. The second I touched him I felt a
spark. Maybe even a sensation close to magnets being drawn
together.

As he scoots away, an ache throbs in my
heart. The darkness in front of me blurs my vision. I’m drowning in
a sea of black. Soon my entire body will be underneath the dark,
choppy waters. I look at Adam, who is looking at me. Again I replay
the first time I saw him. I replay him laughing at me. “What are
you thinking about?” he asks curiously.

“I’m thinking about the first time I saw you
in the school parking lot. And how you laughed at me,” I say an
edge to my voice.

He raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“I wasn’t laughing at you.”

“It sure looked that way to me.”

“I wasn’t. Trust me.”

I have a problem with trusting people. It’s
not that I don’t want to. But after my father left, I built up a
wall. I trusted my father. He said he’d always be there for me and
he hasn’t been. His responsibilities as a parent don’t matter. I
don’t matter.

A cool breeze whips through the night air. I
shiver and rub warmth into my arms. Adam notices this right away.
“You’re cold.” He removes his sweater and holds it out to me.
“Here,” he tells me. “Take it.” I’m silent for a minute. I can’t
breathe. He sits across from me in nothing but a wife beater as the
moonlight highlights the defined muscles in his arms. He keeps his
hand out. “Just take it.”

My fingers graze his as I take the sweatshirt
and I look away from him, blushing. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Not really.”

I wrap his sweatshirt around my shoulders and
his scent swells in my nostrils. I inhale deeply, cocooned in
Adam’s essence and all I think about is how I want his smell on my
skin. I rub the sleeve of his shirt against my cheek. “What’s your
interest in me?”

He scoots closer and the heat from his body
radiates onto mine. “You’re a mystery to me. I like that.”

“Really?” I slide over a little bit until our
arms are touching through our clothes. “I was under the impression
that you thought I was rude.”

“You are.” I’m not rude by nature, but I know
I can be when I have to be.

The confusion of this whole scenario drenches
me like a hurricane rainstorm. This guy is the type of guy teenage
girls idolize. So attractive that just looking into his eyes could
make a person weep. But that isn’t all. Adam is polite, educated,
and at times sweet and caring. “I don’t understand why you like me.
You could have anyone you want.”

He doesn’t turn his head, but he looks at me
out of the corner of his eye. “You’re right. I could have anyone I
want.” He reaches out and massages my cheek with his thumb. “But I
don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

“But why?” There’s nothing special about
me.

He leans in closer. “What can I say? I like
girls who slap me around.”

A hushed laugh exits my throat. “So that’s
it.”

Part of me is fighting the urge to kiss him.
Part of me wants to hurl myself at him. He cups my chin and I’m
overwhelmed with desire. I want his mouth on mine. His full lower
lip entices me. I’m staring at it, wondering what it will feel like
to have it brush against mine.

I lie back on the cold damp, ground. A chill
circulates through me and I snap back to reality. Adam’s is a
sorcerer and every time he looks at me, his spell has an effect on
me. Adam lies down next to me and takes my hand. “What’s wrong?” I
face him. His eyes search mine for answers.

My head snaps up and I get lost in the beauty
of the stars above me. “You must hate it here,” I say changing the
subject.

“No. I like it actually.”

“Really? I’d never pick Burton over
Chicago.”

“In a city that big, it’s hard to get to know
people.”

“Didn’t you live there your whole life?”

“No. We moved around a lot because of my
father’s job. Before Illinois, I lived in Texas and before Texas I
lived in Michigan.”

“I envy you,” I tell him. “I’ve lived in this
small po-dunk town my entire life. It must have been something to
see as many places as you’ve seen.”

“It gets old.”

“I’d trade places with you in a second.” I
prop myself up with my elbow.

“Are you sure about that?” He props himself
up, facing me. “Every few years a different school. A different
home. A different way of life. Trust me, you’d hate it.”

“No I wouldn’t.” He rests his free hand on
the curve of my hip. I bite my lower lip, thinking about how I wish
his hand would burn through my clothing. I want his hands on my
bare skin. “You never answered my question.” Well, he told me he
liked girls who slap him around, but that wasn’t direct answer. So
my question is still valid.

He moves closer and exhales. His warm breath
washes over my face. I sigh. He grips my hip. I’m unglued. I’m a
flower and my petals are being plucked. Adam rests his lips against
my forehead and longing for him to do more detonates in my heart.
“You know why I want you, Ellory?”

He’s like a seductive god. Adam knows to
perfect every touch. Every kiss. Every comment and every smile that
would drive a female conquest of his crazy. I’m trembling. I’m
losing the strong part of myself. “Answer it already,” I demand
with a quiver of my vocal chords.

“You’re unlike any girl I’ve ever met and
that fascinates me.” He’s so close that his lips are an inch away
from mine. “You’re wild, reckless, and unpredictable. So many girls
lack those qualities. Trust me. I would know.”

I don’t doubt that. “So what are you going to
do? Try and tame me?”

In one swift motion, he pulls me on top of
him. He locks my hips in place by gripping onto them. “Is that what
you want?” he whispers. A soft, delicate whisper that fills my ears
like a foghorn.

“No.” He slips a hand underneath my shirt and
his fingers flutter against my back. I feel his fingers all over my
body. I never want him to stop. I want him to touch me forever and
ever. “I can’t be broken in.”

I’m lying. He’s breaking me. I’m in pieces.
The wall I’ve built inside of me cracks, a thin fissure spreads
along the length of my inner barrier and its seconds away from
shattering. He cups the back of my neck and pulls my face to his.
Trailing the length of my lips with his thumb, he murmurs, “You’re
so beautiful.”

He has to be lying. I imagine the type of
girls he’s been with had supermodel caliber looks. Then I’m curious
about his past relationships. “How many girls have you been
with?”

He crooks me a smile. “Wouldn’t you like to
know?” He holds me tightly to his chest and rolls over on top of
me. I can’t help but feel a rush of pleasure. I love the way his
body feels on top of mine. “Yes. I would,” I tell him. I need to
know what I’m up against.

His lips graze the tip of my ear. “More than
I can count on my fingers and toes.”

Suddenly I feel silly. I’m embarrassed. Adam
catches on to the rift in my emotions. “Don’t worry, Ellory.” A
hushed loving whisper dances over my earlobe. “You’re special. I’ve
never felt this way with any of them.”

I feel like a heroin addict, anticipating the
high I’ll get after I’ve shot the drug into my veins. I arch my
back as Adam’s lips meet mine. His lips move over mine in a frenzy.
The kiss is a lot like the first one he gave me, hungry, ferocious,
and passionate. Except this time, I let myself crumble beneath him.
A heap of trembling desire. I want to kiss him for hours. I don’t
want this moment to end. And this time when he kisses me, this
time…

I actually kiss him back.

Chapter 10: Adam

A radiant beam of sunshine bleeds through my
window. The bright light pierces my eyelids and pulls me from my
slumber. I sit up delirious, wiping my eyes. Adam’s smell lingers
on my skin and I squint over my shoulder at his sweater sprawled
across the empty spot on my bed. Last night definitely wasn’t a
dream. I moisten my lips and I can still taste him. I bring a
finger to my mouth and trace the lining of my lips. They feel
raw—chapped from his kisses.

I fall back on my bed, giddy. Hugging myself,
I laugh out loud, sounding happy and crazy at the same time.
Suddenly, I’m yearning for Adam. As my fingers stroke the fabric on
his sweatshirt, I long for him so much it makes my stomach hurt. I
never thought that I would ever be putty over some guy and here I
am longing for him. And it sucks.

Even though I want to lie in bed all day and
think about Adam and his beautiful smile, hypnotic touch, and
mesmerizing voice, I know I can’t. Its 11:30 and I’m shocked that
Mom let me sleep in this late two days in a row.

“Mom!” I call, stepping into the kitchen.
“You here?” My eyes sweep across the vacant room as silence creeps
up on me. The refrigerator kicks on and a light humming drowns out
the silence. Light hits the stainless steel and I notice a white
piece of paper underneath the “World’s Best Mom” magnet. I remove
the paper and forty dollars falls out from behind it onto the crème
tile. “Score!” I bend over and pick up the cash and palm it. This
money is going to burn a hole right through my pocket. Then I read
mom’s note.

Ellory,

Went to Fall Fest early. I’ll be home
later.

Love you,

Mom

She must have had a good day at the pumpkin
booth yesterday. I place the note back under the magnet and my
heartbeat escalates when the phone ring. “Hello,” I say and hold
the receiver on my shoulder with my head.

“Hey.” It’s Wren.

“What up, Wren?”

“Mollz and I are going to the mall. You want
to come with?”

I snap the bills of cash and grin.
“Absofreakinglutely!”

“Sweet. Pick you up in 30.”

I hang up the phone and sashay to the
bathroom. Going to the mall is an adventure. Mainly because the
only we have is about 45 minutes away. Unless you want to go
clothes shopping at the K-Mart. But that has never and probably
never will be cool.

***

An hour later, I walk to Wren’s car while
Freebird blasts from her stereo. I turned her to the song a few
years ago. We both know how to appreciate the wicked guitar riffs.
Wren even joined in my campaign to make it our class song. The rest
of the girls in our class are gunning for some song by a whiny
female country singer. I can’t believe they'd rather have that over
Skynard.

Molly offers up the front seat and climbs
into the back. I slide into the car, close the door and fasten my
seatbelt. “What’s up guys?” I ask excitedly.

Wren eyes me oddly as she backs out of the
driveway. “You’re awfully chipper today.”

I shrug. “Mom left me some cash. I’m eager to
spend it.”

The North Place Mall isn’t anything
spectacular, but they have a Victoria Secret’s, Hollister, and a
Buckle just to name a few of cool stores.

Molly leans forward. “No that’s not it.” She
squints as her eyes dart over my face. “You’re glowing.”

Wren’s head snaps to her right and she
narrows her eyes. “Did something happen that you’re not telling us
about?” I love that Wren knows there’s something going on without
me having to utter a word. Nervously, I play with my hands.
“Maybe.”

“You better spill it,” Molly comments.

Wren turns left out of the driveway. “Did
something happen after I dropped you off last night?”

I nod.

Molly exhales, frustrated. “You’re killing
me, Ellory. What happened?”

“Adam came over last night,” I gush. Just his
name on my lips sends a volt of electricity to my heart. It beats
rapidly. Almost pounding out of my chest.

Wren’s mouth hangs open. “Oh my god! So what
happened?”

“We watched the stars. Talked and umm…”

“He kissed you again, didn’t he?” Molly cuts
in.

Wren merges onto the highway cautiously and
gasps, “Wow.”

Molly falls back into her seat. “What was it
like to kiss him?”

“It was kind of surreal, but I kept thinking
like I’d rather suffocate than stop.”

I catch Molly’s reflection in the rearview
mirror. She frowns. “Did I say something wrong, Mollz?”

“No,” she mopes. “I just hope I’m able to
feel that way someday. To me, it feels like that day will never
come.”

I turn around and place a hand on Wren’s
seat. “Don’t say that. If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t
even like Adam at first.”

“I don’t know why,” Wren huffs. “What’s not
to like?”

Cars whiz past us as Wren switches lanes. The
sounds of horns and squealing tires ring out in my ears. Wren and
Molly banter over Adam for a minute while I tune them out. I’m a
little upset with myself for misjudging him. He’s not at all who I
thought he was. “Yeah,” I say, not even sure what they’re talking
about.

“Well,” Molly goes on. “At least I know I can
live vicariously through you, Ells.”

I snap to attention. “Molly, don’t count
yourself out. You’ll find someone who makes you feel that way. I
promise.”

A half-crescent of a smile appears on her
lips. “I hope you’re right.”

“She is.” There’s a positive spike in Wren’s
voice. Wren looks into the rearview mirror meeting Molly’s gaze.
“We’ll be fine, Mollz.”

One of the things I love most about Wren is
that she’s able to take a depressing situation and turn it into a
positive one. And on top of that, she’s selfless. Always worrying
about everyone else. I know she feels the same way Molly does. But
she’d rather pretend that it doesn’t bother her if it might make
Molly feel a little better.