A Wedding in Provence (10 page)

That note didn’t exist. Instead, his silence accused her. She should have known. She should have saved him.

“He’s not worth all these tears,” Olivia said.

Nell was confused for a moment and then realized they were talking about Gavin.

“I don’t know,” Nell said. “He was pretty damn sexy.”

“And sexy takes off in the morning.”

“So I should look for boring? Unappealing? Ugly as hell? Those are the guys who stay?”

“No,” Olivia said.

“I don’t want anyone to know,” Nell told her.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m embarrassed. Everyone thinks I’m such a flake anyway. And then my guy ditches me. He can’t even wait for the wedding.”

“I don’t want any assholes at my wedding,” Olivia said.

Nell smiled. “You’re right.”

The sound of laughter drifted through the open window. Then Jake called out, “Where are all the pretty French girls?” and someone hooted.

“Les filles! Les filles!”
Jake yelled.

“We can tell everyone he had a family emergency,” Olivia said.

Nell laughed. “I don’t even know if the guy has a family!”

“That’s the emergency,” Olivia said. “He went off in search of one.”

Nell squeezed her hand. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I didn’t like him anyway,” Olivia said.

“Neither did I,” Nell lied.

She thought of Chaney again. Alone. In the bed she shared with him. She had gone for a haircut. She couldn’t wait to show him her pixie cut. She raced home on her bike and walked into the apartment shouting, “Your sexy lover is home!” She knew right away that something was wrong, even before she walked into the bedroom.

“Let’s go eat breakfast,” Olivia said, standing.

Nell shook her head. “Carly’s going to lord this one over me.”

“You girls aren’t teenagers anymore.”

“Like OMG, really?” Nell said, smiling. “We just act like teenagers.”

“It’s time to try something else,” Olivia said.

“Go on down,” Nell said. “I’ll take a shower and put on some makeup so I don’t scare the guests. I’ll be down soon.”

Olivia leaned over and kissed the top of Nell’s head. Then she left the room.

Nell stood and walked to the window. She could see someone doing laps in the pool. Jake, the only happy guy at the inn because he was devoted to staying single. But I want love, Nell thought. I want Chaney back.

C
arly walked along the narrow winding road that led from the inn to the harbor. She wanted some exercise; she wanted to buy croissants at a pâtisserie in town and bring them back for everyone. She wanted a better day.

Her night had been ragged—too many nightmares, most of them slipping through her fingers the moment she awoke. Someone was holding her underwater. She and Wes were yelling to each other across a great expanse of snow but no words escaped their lips.

She tried to shake the images from her mind. Clean country air, warm sun, the smell of rosemary. Next time she’d bring sleeping pills when she traveled.

She knew that she was drifting away from Wes. The snowy
expanse between them. The unheard shouts. Perhaps she needed less comfort in a relationship. He was a brilliant friend and boss, someone she should meet for drinks and conversation about work. Not a guy to live with, not a guy to love. Next time she’d fall for an artist, a rock star, a handyman. Someone who touched her soul instead of her mind. Frankly, she was a little tired of her mind these days.

Why did she think that her relationship with Wes had anything to do with love? She remembered when Nell asked her if she was sleeping with her boss to further her career. That’s ridiculous, she countered. He might be sleeping with me to keep me from stealing it all away from him. But the issue wasn’t sleeping together. It was the pretense of love. Besides, the sex was merely competent. She wanted crazy sex, the kind of sex that had Nell and her guy banging against the wall all hours of the night.

My God, Carly thought. I’ve never envied my sister before. I must be coming undone.

She walked fast, trying to break a sweat. She’d feel better if she could get her endorphins going. Right now it felt as if she were slogging through air made thick with last night’s dreams.

A car honked lightly and she moved over to the side of the road. There’s plenty of room, she thought. Just pass me already.

But the car inched forward and then stopped. The driver tapped on the horn again.

“Yo. Carly!”

She saw Nell’s guy, leaning over the passenger seat to reach for the door.

“Get in!”

She shook her head. “I’m good,” she said. “I need the exercise.”

“Get in,” he said again. “We’ll exercise later.”

Is he flirting with me? Of course he is—the guy flirts with everyone. She had caught him last night with his eyes on her across the dinner table. And now one side of his mouth lifted in a mischievous grin.

Why the hell didn’t
she
ever have a one-night stand? Might be good for her to live inside her body instead of her mind. But this was Nell’s date, Nell’s one-night stand. Was the night over and he was moving on?

“Quick—a car is coming,” he said, and he pushed open the passenger door.

She slid into the seat and looked behind her. No car was coming.

He took off, speeding down the country road.

“Where are you headed so early?” she asked.

“I wanted to explore the area,” he said. “And look what I found. A sister.”

He was too damn pleased with himself. Where were his black glasses? He looked younger without them. Or older? He drove the car with one hand on the wheel, one arm on the window frame, his hand tapping on the roof as if he could hear a song in the silence. He wore a black T-shirt with the short sleeves pushed up, biceps bulging. Who is this guy?

“I’m just headed to town,” she told him. “You can drop me off when you get close to the harbor.”

“Maybe we’ll take a drive together,” he said.

“Why would we do that?” she asked. She felt like someone
other than herself. A woman who might hop into a guy’s car and take off. Not knowing where they might go.

“Scared of me?”

He reached out his hand and she thought he was going to touch her leg. She inched over in her seat, closer to the door. But he tapped on the radio and the sound of a woman singing plaintively of
amour
burst forth.

She shook her head. “Not at all,” she said. “I know my sister likes you. I’m staying away.” Though she was thinking about a long drive along the coast, the open windows, the briny smell of the sea,
l’amour
.

“You won’t,” he said.

“I won’t what?”

“Stay away.”

She started to laugh and then stopped. She looked at him again. Was he dangerous? He’s just a boy, she thought. A sexy boy, his eyes on her legs.

He turned the knob and the music got louder, too loud.

Carly felt herself stiffen. Ahead she saw a sign:
CENTRE VILLE
. He sped toward the intersection and then turned left, away from the center of town and the harbor and the pâtisserie.

“Where are we going?” she asked. She pushed fear away.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked, his eyes on the road ahead.

She thought of a conversation with Wes only a week ago. “If you want to run this business one day you have to stop analyzing every little decision,” he told her. “Don’t think so much. Act.”

Gavin turned the music louder until it filled all the space of the car.

“Somewhere,” she said. “Anywhere.”

She reached into her purse, her fingers trembling, and turned off her cellphone.

And then he said something, his words lost in the noise, a dreamy smile on his face. An adventure, she thought. That’s what he said.

“Yes,” she told him.

O
livia tried Carly’s cellphone for the third time and again the call went immediately to voice mail. She threw her phone on the bed.

Ulysse gazed at her quizzically. She had let him follow her into the room earlier and now he lay in the middle of the rug, watching her every move.

“Carly never goes anywhere without her phone,” she told him.

He raised one eyebrow and then the other.

Olivia sat on the floor beside the dog, resting her hand on his head.

When Carly was in high school she slept with her phone on her pillow. Some girls had teddy bears; her daughter cuddled with the Internet. She was never much of a child, even at four
or five. When Olivia would meet other moms in Dolores Park the kids would chase each other, climb trees, invent games. Big sister Nell was one of the gang, often getting lost in the park if Olivia didn’t pay close enough attention. But Carly would sit by Olivia’s side, observing the adult world, as if preparing for her own role in it.

No, she wasn’t preparing to be a mom. She was preparing to run the world.

Stop worrying about her, Brody said last month. She’s happy the way she is. Not everyone’s cut from the same mold. But Olivia did worry. She didn’t think Carly knew how to have fun. It didn’t matter how smart she was or how ambitious, the girl needed to learn how to balance her life in some way. Before she turned into her father.

The door opened and Olivia leapt to her feet as if caught doing something wrong. And then she remembered: She was supposed to be getting dressed for kayaking. Everyone was waiting for her. And now Brody was here to drag her out into the world.

“She’s nowhere,” Olivia said. “She’s not in her room. She’s not answering her phone.”

“Carly?” Brody asked.

“No one has seen her since last night.”

He walked toward her and took her in his arms.

“I’m not going without her,” Olivia said into his shoulder.

He pulled back and looked at her. “What?”

“Kayaking. Calanquing. Whatever it is.”

“Kayaking in the calanques. You have to come.”

“I’ll wait until Carly shows up. Ulysse and I are going to stay right here.”

Again Brody tried to press her to him. This time she wiggled away.

“I’m serious,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

“I see that.”

“Besides, my arms are too weak for kayaking.”

“That’s why we’re partners. I’ll do all the work.”

Olivia dropped onto the bed. Ulysse lifted himself off the floor and nuzzled his head onto her lap. “You keep distracting me by being so damn nice,” she said.

“I’ll try to stop that.” Brody kissed the top of her head.

“I’ll walk downstairs with you,” Olivia said. “I’ll make some excuse and you’ll all go off and have a grand time and I’ll be sitting here with Carly, drinking champagne, when you get back. Ulysse will be at my side, breathing dog breath in my face.”

“You sure?”

“Very. Carly knew what time we were leaving. She didn’t even show up for breakfast. That girl has never skipped breakfast in her life.”

“I’m sure she walked into town,” Brody said. “She’s probably sitting in a café right now, feasting on a decadent pastry. She just needed a little time by herself.”

“You’re wrong. I know my daughter.”

Brody nodded. He was quiet for a moment and Olivia imagined his thoughts: She needs to let her daughters go. She needs to let them be adults in the world. Or were those her own thoughts? If Carly were home in Palo Alto, Olivia would have no idea where she was and she wouldn’t have any reason to worry. Why turn into an overprotective mom just because her daughters were spending the weekend with her?

Her phone, sitting in the middle of the bed, rang loudly, setting off a round of barking by Ulysse. Olivia threw herself on the bed, grabbing the phone.

“Carly?”

“Mom. Sorry, I had the phone turned off.”

“Where are you?”

“In town. Went for a walk.”

Olivia felt her body ease, as if someone released the knot inside of her.

“We’re leaving for the kayak trip. Should we pick you up?”

“I need some time alone,” Carly said. “Do you mind?”

“You’re going to miss the kayaking trip?” Olivia glanced at Brody who was watching her. He wants her there, she thought. He organized this trip and he’s trying to win Carly over. She can’t bail.

“I’m going for a walk by the sea,” Carly said. “Work has been hell the last two weeks. We’re gearing up for an international launch and I’ve been dealing with hundreds of interviews for new country managers. I just need a little time on my own.”

“Carly, we have two days here together. Take time alone after the wedding. Brody planned this—”

“I’ll see you later in the day,” Carly said. “I gotta go. Love you.” She clicked off, ending the call.

“What the hell?” Olivia said.

“She okay?” Brody asked.

Olivia nodded. “The girl needs a break,” she said. “I guess I can’t argue with that.”

Brody offered a hand and pulled her up. Standing next to him, she smelled pine forest and ocean air. She placed her hand
on his chest, as if reaching for the smell. She wanted to unbutton his shirt and press her face into the heat of his skin.

Be a bride, not a mom.

“I’ll come calanquing,” Olivia said.