A Wartime Christmas (18 page)

The knock came again, soft but insistent.

Kay put her cheek to the door. ‘Who is it?’

‘Kay? It’s me. Paul Butt.’

Kay breathed out slowly and opened the door. ‘Oh, Paul, it’s you.’

‘I hope it’s not too late.’

Kay looked out on the dark street. Her eyes flicked through the shadows. ‘No, but what is it, Paul? Is something wrong?’

‘I thought you might be able to use a bag of nutty slack.’ Paul Butt stood with his coat buttoned up to his chin and his fair hair blown over his face.

‘Don’t tell me it was left over from the canteen,’ said Kay in surprise.

‘I bumped into Babs yesterday on me way home from work. She said you’d both run out of coal. I’ve dropped a sack off next door and this one is for you. Me and Dad have plenty
to keep us going. This don’t come from our rations, if you see what I mean.’

Kay looked out to the street again, then beckoned Paul in.

‘My mate is a coal merchant, you see,’ continued Paul a little awkwardly. ‘I came late as no one is about.’ Paul hauled the sack over his shoulder. Kay quickly shut the
door. She turned on the light by which time Paul had found the coal cupboard. He disappeared for a few minutes and then emerged, rubbing the dust from his hands. ‘That should do you for a
month or so.’

‘Paul, how much do I owe you?’

‘This one’s on the house. Can’t see the kids go cold. I hear it’s Babs’s girl’s birthday tomorrow.’

‘Yes, Gill’s nine. They’re all very excited about the party. How’s your dad?’ Kay asked politely.

‘A few aches and pains. But he keeps going.’

‘Will we see you both at the party tomorrow?’

‘Hope so.’ Paul paused, rolling the sack up and wedging it under his arm. ‘And Alan? What’s the news there?’

Kay shrugged. ‘None, really. Only that he’s finished his training.’

‘He might get some leave before he’s posted, then.’

‘I hope so.’ Kay didn’t know what else to say. She felt a little embarrassed being alone with Paul at this time of night. He seemed to hesitate and she wondered if she should
offer him a cup of tea in exchange for his generosity. But then she decided against it.

‘Well, better be going,’ he said at last.

Kay turned off the light then opened the door. ‘Goodnight, and thanks, Paul.’

She watched him walk down the dark street towards his house at the end of the road. Once again she wondered why he had never settled down. He seemed to like kids and would make a good father. It
was very generous of him to give her and Babs the coal. Kay wondered if he was still seeing the girl from his works.

Just then there was a movement in the shadows. Kay jumped, realizing the door was still open. She closed it quickly. Staying very still she listened for noises. There was only a loud snore from
the front room. Treading up the stairs softly, she went into her bedroom.

She couldn’t help herself. She had to look outside. The street was in darkness, the blackout well and truly enforced. There were just the shadows and the stars above. She pushed the
thought of the stranger from her mind. If she went on like this, she would soon be getting on her own nerves. Let alone everyone else’s!

The party was in full swing and Kay had no regrets about the two pounds she had provided for the celebration. The fun and excitement were worth every penny. The entire street
had turned out for the occasion. The weather was fine and the children played both inside and outdoors. Jenny and Tom Edwards and their daughter Emily had brought the ale and port; Alice Tyler, the
tea and dried milk from the factory where she worked as the tea lady. Bert Tyler had added his contribution, a tin of biscuits that had emerged from an unspecific source in the docks. The biscuits,
as pure luxury, had been strictly rationed to two each for the children and one for an adult. The two spinster sisters, Hazel and Thelma, had made sausage rolls, though there was more pastry than
meat.

Kay was surprised to see that nearly everyone had brought Gill a gift: a handmade peg-doll from the Tylers, a girl’s annual from the Edwards, and from Paul and his father, a miniature set
of carved drawers to hold all Gill’s trinkets. Paul had made the gift and Neville had painted small red and yellow roses over it.

The tunes that Jenny Edwards was knocking out on the piano were all well-known favourites. ‘By the Light of the Silvery Moon’, ‘If You Were the Only Girl in the World’
and ‘Hello, Who’s Your Lady Friend’, had been accompanied by the wartime favourites, ‘Pack up Your Troubles in Your Old Kitbag’ and ‘Goodbye-ee’, until the
singing had finally drowned out Jenny’s bad playing. Kay had called in the kids and the eating and drinking had started in earnest. Gill’s birthday cake, a sponge consisting of more
carrot than flour, had been sliced into minute portions and divided.

It was after they had sung ‘Happy Birthday’ and Kay and Babs had begun to clear the dirty dishes that Paul Butt joined them in the kitchen. He placed the plates he had carried on the
draining board and, turning to Babs, nodded to the yard. ‘I was able to get hold of the paint you wanted,’ he said. ‘I’ve put the tin in the Anderson, under the bunks out of
harm’s way. Brushes weren’t so easy to find, but there’s a decent sized one for the walls.’ He gave his shy smile. ‘Let me know when you want me to start. It’d
have to be on a weekend or in the evening. But as the nights are drawing out, that won’t be a problem.’

Kay saw her friend blush as she thanked Paul.

‘What was that all about?’ Kay asked curiously, when Paul had gone.

‘Paul’s offered to paint me front room,’ she said, adding quickly, ‘and before you say anything, I intend to pay him. The Tripps left the house in a terrible state, poor
things. They was old and had no one to do it for them. Eddie was going to get round to the painting, but he never had time before his call-up. I was telling this to Neville the other day when we
was queuing at the ironmonger’s. I was hoping to get some cheap paint and do it meself Of course, there wasn’t any paint going and that was when Neville said he’d see what he
could do.’

Kay smiled. ‘That was kind of Neville.’

‘I know. It’s very good of the Butts.’

‘You can’t get paint even with coupons.’

Babs nodded. ‘So when Paul offered, I jumped at it.’ Babs narrowed her eyes softly. ‘Tell you what, I could ask if there’s any more going for your place.’

But Kay shook her head. ‘No, Babs. I’d rather not.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t want any more favours.’

Babs grinned. ‘You ain’t like me, then. I’d grab anything going. After all, I need to take a pride in me place and give the kids a nice home. If I’m honest, Eddie could
take years to do any jobs. In the meantime, the house will be falling down around our ears.’

‘He is away fighting.’

‘Might not be much different if he was here.’

Kay looked at her friend. She hadn’t heard Babs talk like this before. Kay noticed that Babs looked very attractive today. She had grown her fair hair that she’d always kept short,
and curled it carefully around her face. She wore lipstick too, something that she normally didn’t bother with. And her smart two-piece suit enhanced her slim figure. She even wore high
heels, a departure from the laced flats that she’d always worn before.

‘Babs, have you heard from Eddie?’

‘Yes, but he don’t say nothing new. His letters are still all about the weather.’ Babs laughed, shaking back her hair. ‘Typical Eddie.’

Before any more could be said, Vi bustled in with a tray full of crocs. She was followed by Hazel and Thelma who carried the dirty glasses. The kitchen was soon full of chatter and Kay was
despatched outside to Babs’s Anderson to see what the children were up to.

But instead, Kay paused at the fence and looked across at her own house. Everything she saw reminded her of Alan. The windows with their borders of tough wood, the mended tiles on the roof, the
yard that had once been covered in rubble and debris, now swept and tidy with a few timbers stacked across by the wall, depleted now as she’d used them for firewood. Her husband had left
everything in good order. The interior of the house might need painting, as did Babs’s house. But then it was a task that Alan would readily attend to. She knew she could rely on Alan as she
had always done to keep house and home together. But Babs didn’t seem to have the same confidence in Eddie. Kay tried to think back to their old house, the one that had been bombed. Had Eddie
kept it ship-shape? Kay couldn’t remember. What she could remember was that the house had always seemed homely and cosy, somewhere you could go and enjoy a chat with your best friend.

Kay looked back to Babs’s house. Through the kitchen window, she could now see Babs at the sink. She was washing the dishes and smiling. She looked young and happy. The person beside her
was Paul. He too looked happy. If she hadn’t known better, she might have said that the pair only had eyes for each other.

It was gone seven when Kay, Vi and Alfie eventually left the party. As Kay drew the key up from the latch cord and opened the front door, her heart almost leaped out of her
chest. She couldn’t believe her eyes and for a moment she thought she was imagining the tall, dark-haired figure standing in the passage.

‘Alan?’ Kay gasped.

In three strides Alan reached them; Alfie was hauled up against his chest and Vi was flattened with Kay in his arms.

‘Son, what are you doing here?’ Vi said.

‘I was given leave at the last minute.’

‘Why didn’t you come next door?’ Kay wanted to know. ‘You must have heard the racket.’

‘Thought I’d make a cuppa first. What was the occasion?’

‘Gill’s birthday,’ said Kay, ‘but the whole street was there.’

‘Any excuse for a knees-up, eh?’ He laughed and hugged them all again.

‘Daddy comin’ down the river?’ Alfie’s inquisitive fingers went to the dark stubble on Alan’s chin.

‘In the morning, big man,’ said Alan. ‘You and me and your mum will take a stroll.’

‘How long are you home for?’ Kay asked.

Some of the light went out of Alan’s eyes. ‘I’ve got a twenty-four-hour pass.’

Kay said nothing. It was hard to keep her disappointment from showing.

‘You’ll want feeding, no doubt,’ said Vi, heading towards the kitchen. ‘Bet you ain’t eaten today.’

‘As a matter of fact, I haven’t.’

Vi waved her hand. ‘Sit by the fire then and I’ll sort you out something tasty.’

‘Thanks, Vi.’

Kay was bursting with questions as they crammed into the front room. She wanted to know everything: what Alan had done, where he’d been and most importantly where he was going to be
posted. But, as they made space on the couch and sat down, Kay knew she had to be patient.

Alan plonked another kiss on Alfie’s nose. ‘You’ve grown, son. You’ll be as tall as your dad soon.’

‘I got a train set,’ Alfie told his father, wriggling free of Alan’s grasp. ‘It’s in the war’bode.’

Kay laughed. ‘Mum and Dad bought him a train set for Christmas. Vi keeps it in the wardrobe. Go and get it, Alfie.’

‘How did Christmas go?’ Alan asked as Alfie scrambled away.

‘It was all right. But I missed you.’

‘What about Len and Doris?’

‘We got a nice card and Doris wrote saying they’re still hoping to adopt.’ Kay kissed her husband quickly. ‘But I want to talk about you, not them.’

Alfie returned holding a small red carriage. There was a big smile on his face and Alan hauled him up on his knee. ‘We’re gonna have some fun tonight, son.’

Very soon, they were all sitting on the floor in front of the fire. Kay watched her husband’s big hands join the lengths of track. He looked so handsome in his soldier’s uniform. It
was the first time she had ever seen his black hair cut so short. His cheekbones were clearly defined under his beautiful tawny skin. She hoped the army was feeding him well. She couldn’t
stop looking at him. The old feeling slowly came over her. A pull of attraction from the pit of her stomach. When his eyes met hers, she knew he was feeling the same.

‘I miss you,’ she mouthed silently above Alfie’s head.

‘And I miss you,’ he whispered back.

Kay burst into laughter as Alfie and Alan rolled on the floor, the train set forgotten. Alan’s strong arms took hold of Alfie and lifted him into the air. There were screams of delight and
deep chuckles.

Kay wished that every day could be like this. All that was important in life was holding the people you loved, being close to them and listening to their laughter.

Alan felt as though his whole body had been tranquillized with some wonder drug as he lay next to Kay that night. After making love, her body was warm and soft to his touch and
he listened in contentment to her steady breathing. While away, he had hungered for her with such desperate need that he had dreamed of this moment a thousand times. Real dreams, daydreams, had
removed him for a while from the reality of his life. They were good together; Alan knew that. After making love they seemed to slip into another world, far away from the one in which the war had
trapped them. It was as though nothing had been before, not the long months of separation, nor the doubt that beset him of ever really having an honest life, an existence where there was nothing
hidden. In the moments they came together, none of this mattered. It was just him and Kay . . .

‘Alan?’ She stirred, turning lazily to lay her hand on his chest. ‘I was going to ask you so many questions. But now they don’t seem important.’

‘What sort of questions?’ He looked at her in the darkness and wished he could read her eyes. He stroked her hair away from her face. ‘You know I can’t tell you much. But
I will one day. When the conflict is over.’

‘
If
it’s ever over.’

‘Listen, we’re going to win this war. Until the day we do, I’ll always be thinking of you and Alfie.’

‘When will we see you again?’

‘You know I don’t know that either.’ He kissed her full on the mouth. ‘I was lucky to get this leave.’

‘Does that mean you’re saying goodbye for a long time?’ There was a note of panic in her voice.

But Alan couldn’t tell her anything. He couldn’t tell a soul. He was frightened even to think of the mission himself. All war was dangerous, but the irony was he was not only at war
with the Axis but with Military Intelligence too. Whichever way he looked at it, his Company Commander had brought the truth home to him. This time there was no escape. The day he had met Kay and
fallen in love, he had forged his own shackles. Because he loved her so much, they were impossible to break. Kay had made him a better man, a faithful husband and loving father. The man he was, he
had left behind. But the military had called him back to service and now he had to deal with the consequences of his past.