A Very Dirty Wedding (31 page)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Caulter

It's the rehearsal dinner.  Ella's wedding planner has arranged a huge spread in the backyard underneath a giant tent, the one where the wedding reception will be held tomorrow.  A second tent nearby is already set up for the ceremony itself.  Inside this tent, wide swaths of white chiffon drape from the center of the ceiling outward to the edges, and a massive chandelier hangs from the middle, sending yellow light shimmering and dancing over the interior. 

"I thought the rehearsal dinner was supposed to be small," I whisper to Kate, sliding my hand around her lower back.  "You look good enough to eat, by the way. 
Eat out
, I mean."

She definitely does.  Kate is wearing a red holiday dress, a sheath that makes no attempt to hide her figure.  It clings to every inch of her curves, accentuating her pregnant belly.  Her hair is swept up off the back of her neck, and the earrings she wears catch the light as she turns to face me.

"It was supposed to be small," she says.  "It got a little out of control with all of the out-of-town guests.  And you're being bad, Caulter Sterling."

"You bring it out in me."  I lean close to her and whisper.  "We should sneak out of here."

Kate rolls her eyes.  "This is our rehearsal dinner."

"Look around," I whisper, spinning her around to face the other side of the tent, where our extended families and friends are dancing, kids included.  "Dinner is finished anyway.  Everyone is mingling and dancing and listening to music.  There are so many people here, no one will even notice if we sneak out for a few minutes."

"Oh, is that all it takes you now -- a few minutes?" she asks.

"That all depends on whether I'm pulling up your skirt and bending you over your father's desk," I whisper.

"We can
not
do that," she says.  "It's completely indecent."

"It wasn't so indecent that summer, was it?"

"That was different," Kate hisses.  "That summer we both hated my father and we were…"

"Well, I know you were repressed and sexually frustrated and thinking of how much you desperately wanted to feel my cock inside you."

Kate laughs.  "Oh, please," she says.  "Like you weren't obsessing about how much you wanted
me
.  You were practically throwing yourself at me for years."

"I'm trying to throw you some D right now," I whisper into her ear, and I can feel her shake against me as she giggles.

"We can sneak out to the guest house," she whispers.

"Nope," I tell her.  "Christmas lights are being strung up on it, remember?  The wedding planner decided we needed more lighting outside.  To set the mood."

Kate groans.  "Well, that doesn't help
my
mood."

"Let's run up to the house," I insist.  "No one will notice."

"
Not
my father's office," Kate says, turning to face me and giving me a stern look.

I pull her against me like I'm slow dancing with her, careful to keep my voice low.  "You say it's completely inappropriate, but I seem to remember that you said the same thing back then.  And you still bent over, put your palms down on the top of that desk, and let me spank that sweet little ass of yours.  Then you let me fuck that tight little pussy right there in your father's office."

Kate rolls her eyes.  "You're so juvenile," she says.  But she runs her tongue over her lower lip, the way she always does when she's turned on.

And I know my fiancé.  She's
definitely
turned on right now.

"
Juvenile
would be if I slid my fingers between your legs right now, so that I could see if you're wet," I say.

Her cheeks color.  "If you did, I'd slap you right here."

"I can't say that would make me less turned on."

"House.  Now," she says, her voice urgent.  She turns and weaves between guests, smiling and nodding when someone stops to congratulate her, and hugging family members before we slip out of the tent.

Outside, snow is falling softly, covering the ground with a fine dusting of white powder.  "We're going to have snow for the wedding tomorrow," I say.

"Don't remind me," Kate groans.  "Ella and the wedding planner have been making contingency plans all day.  There's supposed to be a big storm tonight."

"What?" I ask.  "Where did you see that?"

"Haven't you checked the weather?" she asks.  "If you used your phone for doing something other than watching porn, you'd already know that."

"I also use it to check dating apps," I joke.

"Hilarious," Kate says.  "You know just the right thing to say to a pregnant woman."

"New Hampshire gets snow all the time," I say.  "A little snow is no big deal, right?  It's a Christmas Eve wedding.  A little snow is perfect."

"That would be true, if it were going to be just a little snow.  But it's supposed to be a Northeaster," Kate says.  "It's seven right now and already laying on the ground outside.  The wedding planner is going crazy.  Didn't you see her earlier, freaking out?"

"I figured that was just about wedding stuff," I say.  I intentionally leave out the part where I was busy fielding ridiculous requests from my mother and the wedding planner, Rebecca, to "up the ante" with the wedding.  Their most recent stroke of brilliance was their idea to have a white tiger cub to carry the rings down the aisle.

Ella's promise to keep things manageable and under control might have fallen by the wayside.

I don't tell Kate that.  I think her head would explode if she knew they'd even asked about a white tiger cub as the ring bearer.

Although, really, who doesn't want tigers in their wedding ceremony?

"I had to tell them not to order sleighs," Kate says.  "And horses.  Actual real-life horses.  They want to have sleighs bring people to the ceremony if we get snowed in."

"Or snowmobiles.  Actually, that's not a half-bad idea," I say.  Then I see the look on Kate's face.  "Or…
that's an awful idea
.  How could they even consider that?"

Inside the house, we cut through the kitchen.  Rose is there, directing catering staff with all of the precision and authority of a military general.  "Are you kids escaping from your own party?" she asks.

"We just wanted to come inside and...visit you," Kate says, exaggerated innocence in her voice.

Rose laughs.  "Shoo," she says, gesturing at us.  "I know you're trying to sneak off to get some time alone."

"What?" Kate squeaks.  "Never."

"Get out of my kitchen," Rose says.  "And if you see your father, tell him the wedding planner is waiting for his entrance."

"His
entrance
?" Kate asks.

"He got a Santa outfit," Rose says, shaking her head.  "Didn't he tell you?"

"A Santa outfit?" I ask.  Somehow I can't picture the Senator in a Santa costume.  He doesn't seem like the type to tolerate frivolity in any form.

"It was his idea, not mine," Rose says, shaking his head.  "I don't know what's gotten into him lately.  He wanted to do it for the kids at the rehearsal dinner tonight, since it's so close to Christmas.  I thought it'd be good for him to do something like that."

"Huh," Kate says, before taking my hand and pulling me to the door.  "Well, we'll go back out there soon."

"Your father is dressing up as Santa?" I ask her when we're out of the kitchen.

"I don't know what's going on," she says, giving me a wide-eyed look.  "He didn't do anything like that when I was a kid.  Maybe he's trying to make up for it now."

"Maybe he's taking antidepressants," I say.

"He
has
seemed more upbeat lately," Kate says.  "I thought it was because we were getting married."

"Let's stop talking about your father," I tell her, pressing her back up against the nearest wall in the hallway.  I pull her hands above her head, and watch as her breasts rise and fall with each inhale and exhale she makes.  "I'd rather talk about what I want to do to you."

"Oh?" she asks.  "What do you want to do to me, Caulter Sterling?"

"I want to --"

"Oh God, you already knocked her up, Caulter."  I hear Joe say loudly, walking past us.  "Get a fucking room."

"Shut up."

"He has a point," Kate says.  "We
should
go to a room.  The library?"

"Mmm, the library."  My cock hardens at the mere mention of the word.  I have very good memories of the library.

At the door to the room, Kate pauses.  "Peek in first and make sure no one's in there."

"We're adults, you know.  You're acting like we're high school students sneaking around trying not to get caught," I whisper back to her.

Kate looks at me with a mischievous grin.  "I thought that's the game we were playing," she whispers.

"Naughty Kate."  My dick presses against the zipper of my tuxedo pants, the thought of being with Kate in the library giving me the biggest boner ever.  My head is spinning with ideas – she's too pregnant for me to take her on the ladder again, so I'll just have to improvise.

I turn the doorknob quietly, and open the door a crack.

And get a view of what's perhaps the most traumatizing thing I've ever seen in my life.

Ella, dressed in a naughty elf costume, is bent over a desk in the library, while Santa smacks her ass.

"Oh, fuck," I whisper, turning around so fast I probably just gave myself whiplash.  "Oh God, my eyes.  Shit, I need bleach for my brain."

"What's going on?" Kate hisses, pushing me out of the way.

"Don't look in there," I tell her.  It's like the image is burned on my brain.  I wonder if I can get electroshock therapy to erase my memories.  Or maybe a partial lobotomy. 

"Don't tell me what to do," Kate says.  She looks inside, then whirls around and slaps me hard on the arm.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Why did you let me see that?" she whispers frantically, a panicked and pained expression her face.

"I told you not to look in there!"

"It's my
father
," she says with disgust.  "And Ella."

"Yeah, I know," I say.  "Talk about a fucking boner killer."

"Dressed as Santa and an elf!"

"I saw it.  Stop reminding me."

"My father was
spanking
your mother!" Kate slaps me on the arm again.  "Oh God.  I could hear them talking."

"I didn't hear them talking."

Kate slaps me on the arm again.  "I'm going to vomit," she says.  "My father was telling Ella he wanted to slide into her chimney because she'd been a bad little
ho ho ho
."

I can't contain my laughter, and Kate claps her hand over my mouth to stifle my snort.  "Shhh.  They're going to hear you."

"We should get out of here," I say.  "You have to admit, though.  That's a pretty good line.  I may have to use it on you sometime."

Kate looks like she sucked a lemon.  She shakes her head back and forth over and over.  "No," she says.  "We will never speak of this day again.  And you will
never
dress up as Santa.  Or use the words
chimney
or
ho ho ho
in my presence."

"But you are my little
ho ho ho
," I say, cupping her ass with my hand and pulling her against me.

Yeah, whatever, the carnage in the library was a boner killer for a second, but hearing Kate use the words
ho ho ho
, my cock is springing to life again.

I press my hardness against her for effect, and she puts her palms on my chest.

"Oh my God, Caulter," she hisses.  "How can you be hard right now?  Oh shit.  Does this turn you on?  Are you some kind of pervert?  I don't mean like the kind of pervert I know you are, I mean the
real
kind of pervert."

"We'll find someplace else," I say.  "They don't have to ruin the mood."

"Are you insane?  I'm not sure I'll ever have sex again after seeing that!" She pushes me back, but then she slips on her heel.

And I'm focused on catching her so she doesn't fall.  Except we both slam into the door and it swings wide open.

And there we are, my hands under Kate's arms as she struggles to stay upright and I struggle to not let her fall to the floor.

And there they are -- an elf sitting on the desk in the library, her legs wrapped around Santa's waist.

Kate shields her eyes as I yank her to her feet, a look of sheer panic on her face.  Meanwhile, I'm pinching my eyes closed tightly, trying to keep the train wreck in front of me out of my line of sight, as I blindly pull Kate toward the door.

On the other side of the door, Kate breathes in deep breaths as she grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall, running far more quickly than she should.