A Very Daring Christmas (The Tavonesi Series Book 8) (34 page)

Her cast.

“We need to be careful,” he said as he unwrapped his arms and stepped back.

“I think that window closed a long time ago, Jake.” She bent down and slipped the fingers of her uninjured hand under the elastic of his briefs. Her fingers molded the shape of his ass as she slid his pants down and then off his hips. He toed off his shoes and kicked out of his pants. Being careful of her cast, he lifted her in his arms.

“I do believe we should test out your high-ranking room and bed, Miss Kelley.”

Words gave him a chance to get a grip, to calm the roar of feelings balling up in him and screaming to get out. But as he laid her across the bed and the candlelight danced across her face, the gentle smile she beamed at him had him losing control again. He ripped open the tux shirt, not giving a damn that the collar wouldn’t budge. The studs flew across the bedspread and rolled across the floor. Balancing on his forearms, he pressed his bare chest to the soft, creamy skin of her breasts, felt the hard buds of her nipples cool against him. She tugged his head down until his lips touched hers.

“I want you now, Jake.
Now
,” she murmured as she kissed him.

“There are a couple things I need to do before now can happen,” he said. Whether he could make good on even one of them was in high doubt right then. He broke off the kiss and pushed up.

The question in her eyes had him explaining.

“It’s Christmas, Cameron. You deserve to be properly loved on Christmas.” And every day after if he were to have his way.

She lifted a hand to the bow tie. “Then maybe you should let me unbind you.”

She winced as she tried to lean on her arm to push herself up.

“No. Don’t.”

“But I want to. Help me up.”

He took her uninjured hand and tugged her to a sitting position.

Her breasts brushed his arm as she leaned in to undo the bow tie. “You’ve made a mess of this shirt.” A slithering sound told him she’d loosened the tie. She slid it from around his neck. Instinctively his hands flew to undo the top button of his shirt and get the damned thing off. He tossed it across the room, barely missing the crackling fire in the grate.

“Hasty, are we?”

Her sexy tone had him snapping his gaze to hers. She lowered her hand and looped the black silk of the tie around his throbbing erection.

“It really is Christmas,” she said. She was definitely trying to drive him insane. But then he saw the tremble in her hand. And he knew she was out of her element.

“Unless you want me to use that to tie you up, I suggest you relax on this bed and let me make proper love to you. As in
now
, Cameron.”

She didn’t protest as he pressed her back down onto the bed. And she sure didn’t protest as he did everything in his power to take her to that mysterious realm of pleasure and bliss.

But the fact that he went there with her astonished the hell out of him. He’d barely managed to get a condom on, he was so far gone. Cameron Kelley would either be the life or the death of him. And right that moment, he didn’t care which, as long as he was with her.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jake woke with Cameron curled against him. He had no idea how long they’d slept. Long enough for Cameron’s cast to imprint crosshatches into the skin of his chest.

She stirred.

He kissed her forehead.

“Welcome back.”

She pressed her hand to his chest, traced the marks left by her cast. “We have to talk, Jake. I’ll die if we don’t talk.”

“Talk is highly overrated. Ask any ballplayer,” he said as he tasted her lips. She arched against him, giving in to the kiss. But then she twisted and put her hands on his chest, her arms locking him away from her.

“No, I need to say this. And I know it sounds like the worst sort of cliché, but all my life I’ve wanted to make a difference, to do something that could make the world a better place. That’s why I asked you what I did at my cottage. I wasn’t using you, Jake.”

“I know that.”

“Do you? I’m not so sure.”

Without hesitation, he told her about Scarlett Lee. Before he was half finished, one of her hands was laced tightly with his.

“And then when you asked what you did—and after sex—and then that tabloid came out, it felt like Scarlett Lee all over again.”

“Some scars run so deep, I wonder if they’ll ever heal,” she said.

“
You
healed that one, Cam. You. You healed me. It just took me a while to figure it out.” He brushed a curl away from her cheek. “And you
are
making a difference. Stories make the world a better place, a more livable place. We live and die by stories. I see that. And I see
you
, Cameron. You bring stories to life.”

She raised her arms and circled his neck. Her cast weighed heavy on his shoulder as she tapped her lips to his. Her kiss was sweet, light. He’d never known there could be so many kinds of kisses. He wanted to taste every one of hers. Tracing the curve of her hips with his palms, he tightened his hold and tried to draw her closer, but she pulled away

“And
you
change those kids’ lives in Dominia, Jake. They have new stories, bigger stories to live in. And I
get
the power of a dream, the importance. You’re right—kids have to dream. There’s power in dreams. Life in dreams.” She smiled. “There’s hope in dreams.”

With a light touch, he slid his hands back to her rib cage. His thumbs brushed the undersides of her breasts, and immediately his erection sprang to life. But before he gave in to making love again, there were things he needed to know. Questions that required answers that no parlor game would lead to. And there were things he had to say, needed to say. He could only hope he could find the words.

“Not just kids. We need dreams too.” He took in a breath. Fought down his urge to stop talking and just kiss her. He locked his eyes on hers. “You’re the dream I didn’t know I longed for. I let fear rule me. I was afraid of being trapped; now I see I was imprisoning myself. For too long I believed I was a fake, a fraud. I was hiding—needed to hide—from the scrappy kid from the wrong side of the tracks that I felt I was. I set all these limitations to protect myself, to protect that kid. Set them up for everything and against everyone. Against everything except baseball.”

“You earned your way.”

He put a finger to her lips. She nipped at it.

“Shhh... What I didn’t see is that I’d set a trap, a safety trap. But it was the worst sort of prison. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness should be reversed—liberty should come first. Freedom makes true happiness possible. You showed me what it was like for a person to be afraid and yet step up anyway. And you know what’s amazing?”

She drew her brows together and shook her head.

Stunned that he could find words for his feelings, he added, “When I look back, I don’t even see the wall I thought was there. It’s like I got to the other side and found there was no other side. I’m just here, in a new place, with a new horizon, and the fears are just old memories with little power.”

“Does this mean you’ll stop hiding your good deeds?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The money for the project in Dominia.”

He shook his head.

“I know, Jake. It didn’t take much to figure out who sent it. Wire transfers are traceable, you know. And besides, Coco told me.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “No secret is safe in this castle. And certainly not around Coco. But seriously, I’d prefer to keep those kinds of gifts quiet. I’m not giving up all boundaries.”

“Your secrets are safe with me.”

He traced his finger along her lips, and her shiver made his erection throb. “I know that.”

“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” she said. “I was using visibility, piling on responsibilities, to make myself feel better, to run from my fear that I was a narcissist like my mom, that I was shallow. Hollywood can do that to a person, you know. But the work for UNICAN, that experience, changed me. I was hiding in plain sight. From myself.”

“Welcome to the visible world, Cameron.” He stroked his hands along the creamy skin of her throat and leaned in to kiss her. “Let’s explore a few of those secrets I’ve yet to uncover.”

She put her cast between them. “What about Dylan, Jake?”

He sat back, his stomach tensed as he drew his thoughts together. He’d planned to tell her earlier. He
hadn’t
planned on being completely distracted and derailed by passion. He’d hoped, sure. But he hadn’t planned on it.

“My parents are too old to raise a young boy. And my sister would be a disaster. So that leaves me.” He swallowed. He’d rehearsed his words, but they didn’t come out smoothly. He could only hope he’d make some sort of sense. “I’ve decided that a good nanny and I would be better for him than any alternative I could come up with. Plus, Alex and Jackie said they’d help, at least until their baby is born. And my parents will help, of course. Alana and Matt offered as well. You helped me to see that I can do this, be a dad to Dylan. I’m not saying I won’t make mistakes—loads of mistakes—but I’ll be the best dad I can.”

His throat suddenly felt dry. How long had he known he loved her—since the day she’d had the moxie to kidnap him? Since the day he’d first laid eyes on her? He’d fallen, and fallen deep. But she wanted a family, the whole works. He was not that. He couldn’t pretend he was, even if that meant giving her up. He wasn’t going to play on her feelings for him to get her to settle for less than what she dreamed of.

“I’ll help. I want to.”

Of course she’d offer. And she’d do it. But it was time for honesty. Time for bald, plain-spoken honesty. She deserved her dream.

“I told you that first day that baseball is my life right now. I thought hard, Cameron, but I can’t give it up. And you said you wanted a guy around, for kids and all those other wonderful reasons. I can’t be that kind of guy. I’ll be on the road. I’ll miss summers, graduations, and—”

“He’d have you. And I can help. We could make it work, give Dylan a family together. Be family for each other. I could take time off in your offseason, or take Dylan with me. Don’t lots of baseball couples make it work? I know plenty of film couples who do.”

She’d said
we
. Had she even noticed? And
family
? Was she saying what she seemed to be saying?

“Some do, some don’t,” he said, trying to temper his heart’s drive to insist on what it wanted, an insistence that muddled his good intentions.

She ran her fingertips along his shoulder and then cupped his cheek with her palm. “I love you, Jake. And yeah, I’m scared to death. I tried hard to talk myself out of loving you, but I couldn’t.”

He hadn’t dared to hope. Couldn’t even form the word. But she loved him. Impossible.

“I love your honor, your strength. I love your integrity, your dedication to friends and family and career.” Her cheeks went red, and she laughed. “And God knows I love your body.”

Jake raised a brow.

“And I’m pretty sure that you love me, even though you’re fighting to not say so.” She rubbed a finger over his bottom lip. “I’m reading the love in every action, every word you
have
said.” She smiled her real smile, the one that came from her soul. The one that always sent him reeling. “I’m reading the love in every roadblock you’re trying to fling in front of me.”

She could tell what he was doing? Man, he was in trouble.

“Cameron, it’s just—”

“I know what you’re doing, but you don’t have to protect me from myself. And you never have to protect me from you. I love you. I want to be with you, the you with all your responsibilities and obligations and dreams. The Jake of today and the Jake of tomorrow.” She leaned close. “I want
you
.”

Damn, the woman knew what she wanted. He let her love and the conviction behind it wash over him. Her words made him feel invincible. His mind finally agreed with his heart and his body and left him no choice but to say it all. Say it not to sway her, but to share what he could no longer hold back.

“I do love you, Cameron. I have for weeks.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her smiling lips. Then he even more gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “And I will for a lifetime.” He wanted to say
forever
, but figured he needed to work up to that. “But I warn you—I’m still flawed. I’ll be jealous of every costar you kiss.” He wasn’t ready to confess that he’d been jealous of Dimitri, a man she’d evidently had no interest in.

She jutted her chin out. “You’d
better
be.”

Her utter certainty had him willing to go all in. “So... truth or dare?”

She crossed her arm over her cast and mugged a smile. “We just shared the truth, so dare.”

He took a breath. And prepared for the greatest dare of his life.

“Marry me, Cameron.”

She leaned away from him. His heart racing, he hoped it wasn’t wariness he read in her body.

A strand of her hair fell over her shoulder. He brushed it back, watching the light dance in her eyes. No, it hadn’t been wariness. He’d managed to surprise her.

He had to say the words again, words that he’d once thought a trap but now knew were the way to freedom, to the horizon of his soul. He had to live in that light for the rest of his life. Nothing else would matter.

“I love you. I love the world the way you see it. I love the world when you’re nearby. I love your fervor and your commitment and your joy. I want to live every day of the rest of my life with you.”

“You’ve come a long way from a three-date limit to ‘marry me.’”

He backpedaled. “We could try it out first if you want, but I know real when I feel it.” He tapped on her cast. “I’ve never had the real, not with a woman. But I don’t need to wait for some cosmic confirmation. I know what this kind of love means.”

“Me too.”

“So? You’re killing me here, Cameron.”

“Okay, I dare. I’ll marry you. I believe in the power of love.”

“You sure you’re not under the spell cast by Dylan’s magic cape?”