A Unique Kind of Love (16 page)

"L-Liam, my little boy," she whispered, her voice cracking. I stayed silent. I didn't care if in the movies, people in a similar situation would hush the dying down because speaking was bad for them. I wanted to remember her voice.

"It's me," I muttered. She patted my hand, before holding it again. I felt like the little 10 year old boy she'd take care of. The same boy who'd lost his mother, his father and Serena, his sister.

Her ever so blue, gleaming eyes were smiling at me. "Don't cry, Liam. Everything's going to be alright." She was reading me. I'd inherited my eyes from her. I felt my eyes betray me and they fell mercilessly.

"H-how can you be so sure? You're going to leave me! You're everything I have left," I exclaimed, crying harder. A small, sad smile appeared on her face and I wondered if angels really existed.

"Knock, knock!" she murmured, cheekily winking at me. I let out a chuckle. She was famous for those.

Grandma was one of those special people who immediately enter your heart, without you having time to process what was happening.

"Who's there?" I'd decided to play along.

"I am!" She hoarsely laughed, I joined along. It was difficult to imagine or think that no one would be there anymore to tell those horribly lame, yet strangely funny jokes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I didn't know if she was talking to me or to herself. After deep breaths, she looked almost better.

"How's Lena?" she asked, as if we were sitting on the couch, chatting about our day.
Oh, I wish
. Strangely, a blush rose to my cheeks. I lowered my gaze to our hands.

Grandma stared at me with a secret smile. "Fine. You saw her yesterday anyway, Grandma. Say… want to know a secret?"

She nodded. I had a feeling she knew what I was about to say.

"I think I might, possibly be in love with her," I confessed. Her smile widened, and her grip tightened.

"Why do you say that?" she questioned, just trying to tease me. This was hard.

"I-I don't exactly know. I think... Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. Well, I do love the way her eyes sparkle when she's happy, the way her hair bounces over her shoulder when she's
'happy dancing
,’" I found myself smiling.

"She has this way of making the simplest of things special, you know? I adore the way her nose twitches when she's sleeping. Her laugh is contagious, it's music to my ears. Seeing her smile makes my day, it's like she stole my heart. In some way, you know? I love it when she sings, even though it's horrible. And when I show her a new song, she pretends to know it so she won't look dumb. I love it when she blushes, especially when I'm the reason. If I continue talking, I think I would never stop, because - I would write a book about her.

“You see, she's like a star. No, she's like a million stars. They are all connected to form the biggest constellation in the sky. "

 I found myself fully grinning.

"You're sappy." My grandmother genuinely smiled at me. "Does she know?" Grandma asked, her face suddenly serious. I put my head down, ashamed. That seemed enough.

"Liam Christopher Black, promise me you'll tell her, okay? She deserves to know. She also deserves to hear your beautiful voice." That brought the tears back.

"I promise," I managed to blurt out hoarsely.

Her frail hand lifted my chin up.

"You know what?" she quoted me from earlier.

"What?"

"I think she might, possibly be in love with you too," she whispered, winking at me. I smiled.

"How do you know?"

"Oh, I'm sure. She looks at you the same way I looked at George." Her eyes watered, making my eyes verse their emotions out. George Black was my grandfather. He'd died when I was five.

"I love you, Grandma."

"I love you more, Liam."

We stayed like that, in silence for a couple of minutes. Suddenly, she squeezed my hand. I looked at her. Her skin looked paler, if that was possible. In some way, she looked calm.

"Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me I'll get buried beside George, I want us to be close. We were never apart, but I want to be beside him, please. I love you, Liam," she pleaded. Fear spread through me.

"I promise."

Darla Black smiled for the last time and closed her eyes.

 Her face was frozen, yet peaceful. She looked happy. She looked younger than I've ever seen her. The wrinkles were just a few, here and there. Her gray hair was spread around her head, on the pillow. Her features were impossibly soft. Her long eyelashes were glued to her bottom lid.

But what was most fascinating was that her lips were pulled up in an innocent, delicate smile. I shook my head. Angels would always be angels. Darla Martha Black would always stay in my heart, forever and always.

That's when the beeps went off. Before the nurses could come, I gently placed my lips on her forehead.

"Sleep tight, my angel," I said, before kissing her forehead again. I placed her hand on her chest, before turning and opening the door.

I snuck a last peek at her. I smiled, even though my face was wet with fresh tears.

"I love you, Grandma, I always will. I promise to do everything you said," I whispered, closing the door. I sighed, making the tears fall harder.

"Do you promise to tell me that you can speak, Mr. Black?" exclaimed a very emotional Lena Rose Winter, her hand on her hips, looking the opposite of frightening with tears streaming down her face. Her lips were pulled up in a smile.

I gasped. "I'm really sorry—" I started, before being cut off. Like lightning, she was an inch close to me in less than a second. She held my face with her hands. Tears streamed down her face, a melancholic smile on her beautiful face.

She chuckled a little. "I forgive you, because your angelic grandmother was right." I was confused.

"Yeah, she was right. Because one, your voice is the most amazing and beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life—" stopped Lena, intently gazing at me. I waited, because I was pretty sure there was a number two. I held my breath.

"And?"

I felt my heartbeat quicken and all breath knocked out of my body when she said:

"Because I might, possibly be in love with you, too."

She paused for a second, and I can feel time stopping. Everything was still. We were the only people in the world.

"You're not just a star, you're my whole damn sky, you idiot."

It was at that moment that she kissed me. And all I could wonder was how sadness and hope could possibly form love.

17

Wherever You Are

“I will try to fix you.”

~Coldplay~

Lena Rose Winter

Loss was something I was used to my entire life. In fact, it all started when my hamster Gibby died when I was about three years old. Although, every time I lost someone dear to me, it was like salt being added to a fresh wound. Your whole body feels numb and fresh memories crush their heavy weight on a newly broken heart.

Watching someone lose a loved one is entirely different though. You can see the person crumbling like a dry pastry before your eyes. You can do nothing but stare at them. You itch to comfort them, to convince them that everything was going to be alright.  It was easier said than done. You are aware that they are suffering and you want to take all that sadness away from them.

I currently stood a few feet away from a casket that contained my best friend’s deceased grandmother.

I clutched Liam’s hand with every piece of power I had. His hand seemed lifeless, yet I never let go.

Mom and Tori were behind me, their heads bowed down in respect. Tori’s eyes never left the snow. Liam’s neighbor stood by his side, her cheeks wet with tears. A few other people I couldn’t recognize stared at the casket with a couple of betraying tears falling.

“Lena, it’s your turn,” Tori nudged me. I noticed that the priest present with us had been done with his prayers. It was time for me to say the poem Liam had written this morning.

I stepped forward, reluctantly letting go of Liam’s hand. I cleared my throat and got the small piece of paper out of my jacket. I held it in the same hand as the white and blue roses.

“Well, uhm, to me, Darla Black was one of the kindest women I’d ever met. She is a happy, caring and generous soul. She took care of everyone in her life and they will forever be grateful for that.”

I looked at Liam over my shoulder; his eyes were glued to the casket.

“This is a poem by Victoria L. Payne that Liam wanted me to read.”

“In my Rose Garden of memories

I see you standing there

An angel in disguise
who taught me how to care

I long to hear your voice
for real not in my dreams,”

I paused for a second, letting a tear splatter on the paper.

“I am missing you so much these days
how empty my world seems
People say time heals all wounds
that someday the pain will subside
But Grandma I can tell you
I think they must have lied
The emptiness I am feeling now
is strong and I am weak
These days go by without you
so dreary and so bleak
 

In my Rose Garden of memories
I know you'll always be
for though you're gone
from this mortal world
in my heart you'll always be”

There was a sudden silence as a cold breeze blew over us, making me feel as if Darla had heard me and she saw how much we loved her.

My legs shook as I walked closer to the casket, my steps, making tracks on the snow. I put the flowers on top of the coffin and whispered, “I’ll try to take care of him like you did.”

I walked to Liam and put my hand in his again. Despite the freezing weather, his hand couldn’t possibly be warmer. I refrained from talking to him this whole morning. He avoided my eyes.

The priest and a man beside him looked at us with pity. “It’s time for the burial,” the man said. I stiffened.

He was giving us a choice on whether to stay and watch, or leave. The burial would take a longer time, since there was snow. The caretakers of the cemetery took care of cleaning the places of snow, but it didn’t stop nature from crying frozen tears in places where dead bodies lay.

For the first time that entire morning, I spoke to him, “Liam?”

He nodded.

“I’ll stay too.”

He squeezed my hand and our eyes met. He pleaded for me to go, he wanted to go through this alone. In a way, I understood.  A part of me wanted to stay with him and another comprehended that this was something he wanted to see alone.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

He nodded in gratitude.

Liam’s neighbor shook his hand and there was a mutual understanding between them. The few others; a middle aged woman and two men did the same with him. They were gone by now.

Mom blinked at me and headed towards the car. Tori patted his shoulder and walked away. It was a matter of seconds before I had to leave as well.