A Ton of Crap (71 page)

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Authors: Paul Kleinman

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The February Revolution
Throughout 1916 and 1917, as Russia suffered greatly in World War I and had food shortages, there were many strikes and protests, often leading to violence. February 23, 1917, was the International Women’s Day Festival. The festival turned into a citywide protest of men and women from factories and industries. As Czar Nicholas II ordered the military to attack, many in the military, no longer loyal to the czar, joined the protesters. Chaos broke out in the city. By February 27, over 80,000 troops had mutinied. Nicholas II abdicated, giving power to his brother; however, his brother wouldn’t accept unless chosen by the representative assemblies. The next day, he resigned, and Russia did not have a head of state.

HUMOR

John Kennedy Toole
John Kennedy Toole lived from 1937 to 1969. He wrote one of the most well-known comedic novels of the twentieth century,
A Confederacy of Dunces
. The book was published posthumously in 1980, eleven years after Toole committed suicide at the age of thirty-one. When Toole had finished writing the manuscript of
A Confederacy of Dunces
, the publisher he sent it to rejected the book. After his death, Toole’s mother insisted that author Walker Percy read the book. He finally did, and fell in love with it. The book was published and the next year, John Kennedy Toole was posthumously awarded the Pulitzer Prize.

TRIGONOMETRY

The Law of Cosines
When solving triangles that do not have right angles (known as oblique triangles), the laws of sines and cosines are used. If you need to find the third side, and the other two sides of a triangle and the angle are known, then you use the law of cosines. The formula for the law of cosines is:

c
² = 
a
² + 
b
² − 2
ab
 cos θ

For example, if we are given a triangle ABC, side
a
 = 9 inches, side
b
 = 11 inches, and the angle of
C
is 60°, what is the value of
c
?

The formula would look like this:

c
2
 = 9
2
 + 11
2
 – 2(9)(11) cos 60

c
2
 = 202 - 99

c
2
 = 103

c
 = 

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Theory of Relativity
Einstein’s theory of relativity can be broken up into two parts: the special theory of relativity, first published in 1905; and the general theory of relativity, published in 1915. The special theory of relativity states that regardless of total velocity, the laws of physics remain the same, and the speed of light is always constant. In other words, you cannot know whether you are moving, unless you see another object, but the laws of physics always apply. The general theory of relativity expands upon the ideas from the special theory of relativity, including gravity in the picture. This theory states you cannot know the difference between gravity and inertia, and that gravity, which acts like a force, is not one. Gravity bends space-time.

CANTONESE

Differences Between Cantonese and Mandarin
Though both Cantonese and Mandarin share the same basic alphabet, the two languages have very distinct sounds when spoken. Cantonese is thought to be more complex than Mandarin, with up to nine tones compared to Mandarin’s four. The most obvious difference is the location of people who speak these languages. Whereas Mandarin is used in mainland China and Taiwan, Cantonese is spoken in southern China. It is said that when comparing the two, it is like having a duck try to talk to a chicken. Though they are both birds, the species are very different.

LESSON 23C
THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION

The Bolsheviks
Vladimir Lenin, an intellectual who had been known as a revolutionary and socialist, had been living in exile in Switzerland. Lenin saw the political unrest in Russia as the perfect opportunity for him and his party, the Bolsheviks. Lenin negotiated with Germany to be brought back to Russia, and in April of 1917, Lenin returned to great applause. Lenin delivered the April Theses, in which he advocated an end to the war and no cooperation with non-Communists.

HUMOR

P. G. Wodehouse
Sir P. G. Wodehouse lived from 1881 to 1975. His first comedic book,
Something Fresh
, came out in 1915. Wodehouse wrote ninety-six books in his career, and he is most known for his Jeeves and Wooster stories, his very eccentric characters, and multiple layers involved in the plots. Also a playwright and lyricist, Wodehouse wrote lyrics for musicals such as
Anything Goes.

TRIGONOMETRY

The Law of Sines
For the law of sines, we are dealing with triangles where the sides are the same ratio as the sines of opposite angles. So
a
 : 
b
 : 
c
 = sin 
A
 : sin 
B
 : sin 
C
.

So, side
a
is to
b
, is to sin
A
is to sin
B
, and the same with
b
to
c
. In other words:

ALBERT EINSTEIN

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