A Ton of Crap (57 page)

The “Peasant Tongue”
Up until the fourteenth century, the Czech language was suppressed. It was considered to be a language spoken by peasants, not worthy of literature or any kind of standardization. For the first time, following the work of Jan Hus, Czech appeared in literature. In the nineteenth century, a movement to standardize the dialect to an older form of Czech took place. In Moravia and Silesia, this dialect is still spoken.

THE CIVIL WAR

The Emancipation Proclamation
In September of 1862, a preliminary form of the Emancipation Proclamation was ordered declaring that any slaves in the Confederate states would be freed unless the states rejoined the Union by January 1. The Confederate states did not take the offer, and on January 1, 1863, President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, stating that slaves in all of the states would be granted freedom. The Emancipation Proclamation did not actually free all slaves however. Rather, it freed the slaves who were living in the Confederate states and allowed blacks to fight for the Union. Though ending slavery was never a major goal of the Civil War, the Emancipation Proclamation turned it into one.

VIRGINIA WOOLF

Mrs. Dalloway
One of Virginia Woolf’s most well-regarded novels is
Mrs. Dalloway
, published in 1925. The book examines a single day in the life of a woman, Clarissa Dalloway, in post–World War I England. The narrative structure jumps in and out of the character’s mind and forward and back in time. The book features themes of mental illness, depression, homosexuality, feminism, and existential issues.

LINEAR ALGEBRA

Vector Space
A structure formed by a collection of vectors is known as a vector space. When objects can be added together or multiplied, they are known as scalars, meaning they can be scaled. Axioms provide the set definition of vector space, and include formulas and rules such as
u
 + (
v
 + 
w
) = (
u
 + 
v
) + 
w
and
v
 + 
w
 = 
w
 + 
v
, where
v
,
u
, and
w
represent arbitrary vectors.

JOHN DALTON

Atomic Theory
Dalton’s greatest achievement was his atomic theory. His theory states that atoms are tiny particles that make up elements; atoms of different elements are different and have different atomic weights; all atoms of a particular element are the same; chemical compounds are atoms from one element combined with atoms from another; and lastly, that atoms cannot be divided, created, or destroyed.

CZECH

Czech and Slovak
The Czech language and the Slovak language are very similar. The two countries were once a single country, Czechoslovakia. However, when the Communist regime fell, they broke apart, becoming the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Though there are slight differences, speakers of Czech can understand and read Slovak, and vice versa.

THE CIVIL WAR

The Gettysburg Address
On November 19, 1863, President Lincoln issued one of the most famous speeches in American history: the Gettysburg Address. The speech was delivered in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, four and a half months after the Battle of Gettysburg, where the Union had defeated the Confederates. The speech paid tribute to all lost soldiers, and featured no hatred or ill will but emphasized the principles of democracy.

VIRGINIA WOOLF

To the Lighthouse
To the Lighthouse
is considered to be one of Virginia Woolf’s greatest works, and a modernist masterpiece. The structure of the narrative is less plot-centric and more focused on character introspection and consciousness. There is no narrator in the story, but rather the story is told through shifting from one consciousness to another. The existence of God is discussed and questioned.

LINEAR ALGEBRA

Complex Numbers
A complex number is a number that consists of two parts: a real part and an imaginary part. Complex numbers allow problems that would not otherwise be solved with real numbers to be solved. The imaginary number is introduced by using the letter
i
, and is based on the formula
a
 + 
bi
. The letters
a
and
b
represent real numbers and
i
equals Ö-1.

JOHN DALTON

Dalton’s Law
Dalton’s interest in weather led to the announcement in 1803 of his law of partial pressures, otherwise known as Dalton’s law. This law states that the total of the pressure from a gaseous mixture equals the sum of the partial pressures of the individual components. In other words:

P
_Total
 = 
p
₁
 + 
p
₂
 +
p
₃
…

CZECH