A Toaster on Mars (16 page)

‘Uh,' Astrid said.

‘Rumpelstiltskin,' Nicki said.

‘Smith, Uh and Rumpelstiltskin,' the colonel said. ‘You're the sorriest trio of recruits I've ever seen.'

‘Yes,' Blake agreed.

‘That's
Yes, sir!
'

‘Yes, sir!' the three responded.

Blake could not believe his luck.

‘Rumpelstiltskin,' the colonel said. ‘That's damn poor skin you've got there.'

‘I…I know, sir.'

‘What's your explanation?'

Blake peered into Nicki's face. Her jaw twitched. She seemed to be fighting some internal battle.

‘Come on!' the colonel bellowed. ‘Spit it out!'

Oh no
, Blake thought.
Not again.

‘I'm a cyborg, sir,' Nicki blurted. ‘With my companions I'm here to break into GADO and steal the Maria virus so that we can save their daughter from the clutches of an evil genius known as Bartholomew Badde.'

Lichenstein peered at them. ‘Did I hear you right?' he asked Nicki. ‘Did you just say what I think you said?'

‘I'm afraid so,' she said. ‘
Sir
.'

The colonel looked like he was about to explode. ‘That's no excuse for poor skin!' he said. ‘You need sun! Vitamin D!'

‘Yes, sir! Sun!'

‘How do you expect to function if you're not getting enough sunlight?'

‘I…I don't know, sir.'

‘Reminds me of the time I was fighting with the forces on Modo Twelve,' the colonel reminisced fondly. ‘There were nine of us against 12,000 Mododians. We fought them day and night. Hacking and slashing. In the end we were squashing them underfoot.'

‘Squashing them?' Astrid asked.

‘Mododians are only two inches tall,' the colonel explained. ‘Nasty little blighters!'

‘Lucky,' Nicki said.

‘I wanted to take out the whole planet. Nothing like an exploding planet to make a statement. Send a message! Show them who's in charge!'

Blake was wondering exactly who was in charge, and how long it would take before they walked in the door, when the colonel's phone rang.

‘What's that?' he yelled. ‘An inter-dimensional wormhole within the complex! That's outrageous!' He pushed a pile of papers off his desk, revealing an ancient square box with a black disk on top. He pushed a button and a needle settled onto the disk. ‘Ride of the Valkyries' began playing.

‘Three intruders, you say?' he barked. ‘Standard orders apply. Have them hung, drawn and quartered. Twice! And get me a cup of tea!' Slamming down the phone, the colonel glared at Blake. ‘You still here?' he asked. ‘Get moving! There's an invasion happening!'

‘That was good work,' Astrid said after they'd escaped down the corridor.

‘What was?' Blake asked.

‘All of it.'

Blake shrugged. It was a long time since he'd heard a compliment from Astrid. ‘Thanks,' he said. ‘Now we need to work out where we are.'

Nicki consulted her datapad. ‘We're three miles east of the chamber where they're storing Maria.'

‘That's not too bad,' Blake said.

‘But there's ninety-four security guards between us and the chamber.'

‘That's bad.'

‘What are we going to do?' Astrid asked.

Before Blake could reply he heard footsteps approaching. They all dived into a nearby storage cupboard as troops marched past. In the dark, Blake activated a torch on his wristcomm. The cupboard was packed with cleaning supplies and there was a metal box set into the wall. Blake prised it open.

‘Nicki, is this what I think it is?'

‘Not if you think it's an espresso machine.'

‘It looks like a juncture point for the communications system.'

Nicki examined it. ‘I think you're right.'

‘Can you break in?'

‘I can.' She flipped up a console on her arm and fed a lead into the system. Her eyes turned white.

‘Uh, Nicki, please don't do that,' Blake said.

‘It's nothing to worry about,' she assured him. ‘I only
do it when I'm hooked up to communication systems or affected by illicit substances.'

‘Are you picking anything up?' he asked.

‘Certainly,' Nicki said. ‘There's some really nice Buddy Holly on one station, Mozart's ‘Ninth Symphony' on another and—'

‘Anything about us?'

‘Oh. Sure. They'll shoot us on sight.'

‘Can you send a message directing security to another part of the complex?'

‘What will I say?'

Astrid intervened. ‘I've got an idea.'

‘Okay,' Blake said.

‘Tell them the eastern wall is under attack.'

Nicki entered the information.

‘Five hundred—' Astrid corrected herself ‘—no, a thousand soldiers are pouring in. They've got energy weapons, bio-shock guns and pulse rifles that are turning people into glug.'

Nicki nodded.

‘And black holes, too,' Astrid added.

‘Black holes?' Blake repeated.

‘Guns that fire black holes at people, sucking them into naked singularities—'

‘Astrid.'

‘Too much?'

‘Too much.'

24

The hole was so large that it could now accommodate Lisa's head and shoulders, and she could see a dimly lit vertical shaft that seemed to go on forever.

A wall of wind hit her.

What the—

Something fell from above, missing her head by inches.

It's an elevator shaft.

Lisa watched the elevator halt at a floor before continuing its descent. Two more elevators, on her left and right, were both climbing.

‘Sprot,' she muttered.

Lisa tried to remain positive. This
was
a way to
escape. All she had to do was get to another floor and—hey presto—freedom!

But she couldn't climb down. There were no handgrips. A strut a few feet below was wide enough for her to stand on without being struck by a passing elevator, but the ledge didn't lead anywhere.

Sprot
, she thought.
And double sprot
.

She dragged herself back into the cell. It was now pitch black at the window and the room was eerily quiet. Badde must have gone to bed.

She needed rope, but it wasn't the sort of thing she usually carried. She would have to make her own.

Lisa sliced along the edge of the mattress and removed the rubber interior. Then she cut the bedsheet into a makeshift rope and rolled up the rubber so it could fit through the hole. Securing it with the rope to stop it unrolling, she tied the other end to her belt.

Climbing back through her hole, she saw the middle elevator about twenty floors above. Now all she had to do was climb onto the ledge.

Except she was terrified.

Lisa took a deep breath.

‘Okay,' she said. ‘Here goes everything.'

She pushed the rolled-up mattress through the gap and allowed it to drop into the void. Then she eased herself, legs first, onto the ledge.

The elevator was still several floors above—but descending fast. Hanging onto a support beam with one hand, Lisa pulled the mattress up and untied it. Manoeuvring it against the wall next to her, she tried to calm herself.

Okay. Everything's fine.

The next part would be the hardest. Tightly gripping the mattress, Lisa would need to throw herself after the elevator. As long as everything went according to plan, the mattress would break her fall.

Lisa glanced up. Judging the speed of the elevator, it didn't look like it was going to stop—

The elevator screamed past like a freight train, its suction dragging her off the thin ledge.

Sprot sprot sprot sprot!

The air vacuum began to spin her about.

Keep turning
, she thought.
Got to get the mattress under me—

Oooff!

The mattress cushioned her fall just in time.

‘Ouch,' she groaned. ‘That hurt. A lot.'

‘That was a very good jump.'

The voice boomed up and down the shaft. Lisa looked about wildly as the elevator stopped at a floor.

‘Who said that?' she demanded.

‘I am a Pantron 9001 Quadragillion Computational Hydrogian Accelerator,' the voice announced. ‘But you can call me Panty.'

‘Uh, what are you?'

‘I just told you,' Panty said impatiently. ‘I am a Pantron 9001—'

‘Yeah, I got all that. But what do you do?'

‘I am the artificial intelligence of this building. I am responsible for lighting, air-conditioning, lift maintenance and all other duties associated with running the Pye building located at 2318 Hetron Avenue, Neo City,' Panty said. ‘I also play a mean game of chess.'

‘So we're still in Neo City?'

‘We are indeed.'

The elevator started descending again.

‘I need to get out of here,' Lisa said. ‘I've been held prisoner—'

‘I have standing orders not to allow any individual to enter or leave this building,' Panty said, now sounding embarrassed. ‘Sorry, it's a rule.'

‘Can I at least get off the roof of this thing?'

‘Of course.'

A hatch slid open and Lisa landed, mattress and all, on the floor of the elevator. It was a plain, square
chamber with no mirrors. Fine, powdery dust covered the walls. The floor was black with tyre tracks.

Mum would have a fit
, Lisa thought.

‘I know what you're thinking,' Panty said. ‘I'm not in charge of housekeeping.'

‘Does Bartholomew Badde own this whole building?'

‘The registered owner is Zark Klurzza.'

‘Zark Klurzza isn't his real name,' Lisa informed Panty. ‘He's an evil criminal genius named Bartholomew Badde.'

‘Really? He seems so pleasant.'

‘I need to get out.'

The elevator finally drew to a halt.

‘I have no standing orders regarding guests,' Panty said. ‘You may go anywhere you wish—as long as you stay within the building.'

The doors slid open, revealing a corridor with Victorian-style lamps set into the walls and rows of oil paintings. But it was the work of art at the end of the corridor that transfixed Lisa. Open-mouthed, she stepped out from the elevator and walked towards
The Last Supper
.

25

The hallway was quiet. Blake had expected to encounter dozens of security guards, but none had appeared. Although he was prepared to stun them, Blake didn't want to do any of the GADO forces permanent harm. They were only protecting what was important to them, just as he was protecting what mattered to him—his daughter.

‘There's no one here,' he said.

‘What do you expect?' Astrid asked. ‘They're busy fighting the armoured forces they think are breaking through the eastern wall.'

Nicki consulted her datapad again. ‘We're almost there,' she said. ‘The GADO vault is just around this corner.'

They arrived at a three-foot-thick glass wall. Set into the middle was a door secured with a huge multi-spiral locking device. Blake had seen similar locks before; they were virtually unbreakable. Through the glass he could see a vast chamber with a rotunda at the centre.

‘How do we get through that?' Astrid asked.

‘
Warning.
'

The single word reverberated through the hallway.

‘This is the GADO Automatic Security Computer,' the voice said. ‘You have entered a restricted area.'

‘Have we?' Blake tried to sound surprised. ‘We got separated from the tour. I thought the Eiffel Tower was through here.'

‘Your deception will not succeed,' the computer said smugly. ‘I am Tisklixion, the most advanced security system ever developed.'