A Taste of Greek (Out of Olympus #3) (27 page)

“I don’t care whether they like it or not. They shouldn’t have gone on strike then,” Hermes countered, looking back at Zeus, eager to hear his answer.

“Though the bridge is a good idea, I still fail to see how that’s a trade,” Zeus said, “considering that if I let those two men die, if Penny won’t agree to divorce you, they’ll end up in Hades’ Underworld anyway.”

“True, however, you forget one thing: if they die, they’ll enter as dead souls, and you know how willing dead souls are to work? That’s why we’re having this problem in the underworld in the first place. Dead souls are lazy workers, and even worse in management.”

Hades raised his hand. “Not entirely true. The two German security guards work extremely well, and they’re both dead souls.”

Hermes rolled his eyes. “Because they’re German. Have you ever seen a German who didn’t work? They’ll do anything for their six weeks of vacation a year! Even if they have to spend it down in the underworld.”

“So, if I agreed to this,” Zeus interrupted, “how are you going to convince Bart and Kenton to do this? What if they refuse to work once they’re down there?”

“We will of course have to give them some incentives: annual leave to return to the mortal world for example.”

Hades huffed. “I’m not giving them six weeks!”

“Two weeks will be plenty. After all, they’re not German. Americans only get two weeks.”

“Well,” Zeus mused, rubbing his chin. He exchanged a look with Hades. “If we do this, will that get you off my back?”

Hades nodded. “Works for me.”

Slowly, Zeus moved his head up and down. “Fine. But I have a condition too.” He squared his shoulders and stared at Hermes.

Hermes’ heart stopped. “What condition? If you think I’ll give her up, think again!”

“Hothead!” Zeus chastised. “Why do you always expect the worst from me?”

Hermes pressed his lips firmly together, not wanting to anger Zeus any further when the deal was nearly done.

“If you don’t produce a child with Penny within a year, I will consider your marriage a sham and take my revenge on her. Is that clear?” Zeus asked.

Hermes let out a sigh of relief and felt a grin spreading on his lips. “I’ll work at it day and night.”

Zeus chuckled. “Don’t I know it!” When he exchanged a conspiratorial look with his two brothers, Hermes felt the hairs on his nape stand up. He knew those looks. He’d seen them often enough.

“You planned this! You planned this all along to get me to settle down and get married!” Hermes ventured a guess.

Hades nudged his brother in the side. “Told you he’d figure it out eventually. You’re lucky he’s not the fastest thinker!”

Finally, everything made sense. “The contract I delivered to Hades. It was all in there, wasn’t it? You’ve manipulated me all along!”

Zeus grinned. “I just had to push you a little.”

“And Penny? Did you make her steal the sandals?”

Zeus shook his head. “I didn’t have to. Once she got the news that she would lose her job if she didn’t get tenure and realized that she would have to uproot her grandmother in due course, all I had to do was make sure Penny crossed your path.”

“You, you . . . ”

Zeus shrugged. “So what are you gonna do about it? Will you leave her now just because I gave you a little push in the right direction? Or are you man enough to stick to your guns and make love to your wife so you can present me with my grandchild?”

Hermes looked at the God of gods and knew exactly what his answer was. But he wouldn’t give his manipulative father the satisfaction of giving him a response.

39

“They’ll have to do what?” Penny asked, gasping for air. “And how is that different from them dying? They’ll end up in the underworld no matter what!”

Hermes had returned from his meeting with Zeus only minutes earlier and explained what he’d negotiated with his father to assure her safety. They now stood in Triton and Sophia’s apartment, their friends having left them alone to talk in private.

“It’s very different. They wouldn’t be dead. They get to settle their affairs before they head down to Hades, and every year, they’re allowed to come back and visit friends and family for two weeks. It’s not any different than as though they were sailors who’re out on a ship for most of the year. In fact, they’ll be like sailors. They’ll be operating the ferry service. And you’re safe from Zeus’s wrath forever.”

“They’ll never agree to it,” she guessed. And why would they? They had no idea what was at stake. Neither of them would lift a finger for her.

“They will. And as long as they do their jobs right, they will want for nothing. Kenton will have access to as much Greek mythology as his little heart desires, and your father will be kingpin, never having to answer to anyone, never having to beg or steal. It’s a perfect solution.”

“And Zeus agreed to it? Why? He didn’t get anything out of this deal! He would have killed them anyway, so they would have ended up in the underworld in any case. What’s in it for him?” Somehow she got the feeling that Hermes wasn’t giving her all details of the deal that had been struck. “What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing,” he claimed and looked away. “It’s time. We have to go to the hospital to present our offer to your father and to Kenton.”

“But they’re both still in a coma,” Penny informed him. “I called just a few minutes ago.”

Hermes smiled. “Don’t worry, Zeus will take care of it. Now, put your arms around me. We don’t want to lose time.”

She did as he requested, and he teleported them right into the ICU, landing behind a screen that separated a sink from the beds in the large room. The constant beeping of the monitors to which the patients were hooked up echoed against the walls.

“Somebody’s going to find us here,” she whispered to Hermes, stepping out of his hold.

“No they won’t. Zeus has made sure that the door to the ICU can’t be opened right now.” He winked. “Minor technical problem.”

Panicked, she pressed her hand against her chest. “But what if any of the other patients needs a doctor quickly?”

“Zeus will make sure it won’t happen.” He took her hand and stepped out from behind the protective screen, pulling her with him.

Penny pointed to her father’s bed. “There he is.”

“And Kenton?”

“Two beds farther down.”

Hermes nodded, and moments later, he was wheeling Kenton’s hospital bed next to her father’s.

“What are you doing?”

He grasped Kenton’s forearm with one hand, and her father’s with the other. “Hold on to me. I’m going to teleport all of us down to the entrance of Hades.”

Without protest, she did as he asked, and felt herself whirled around in dark nothingness once more. She didn’t know if she’d ever get used to this. Luckily, it didn’t last long. Seconds later, they were back in the familiar boiler room. Hermes had transported not only them here, but also the two hospital beds.

“Let’s push them through.”

It took only moments until they had reached the River Styx where Hermes turned to the two unconscious men and snapped his fingers. On cue, both opened their eyes and sat up.

“What the hell?” her father cursed.

“Huh?” Kenton let out.

Both looked confused as they looked around, taking in their surroundings.

“Welcome to Hades’ Underworld, gentlemen,” Hermes greeted them, pulling their attention to him. Their gazes shot to him. Then her father’s eyes drifted past him and landed on Penny.

“Penny?”

“Hello, Dad.” Despite all he’d done, she felt tears rise to her eyes, grateful that she had a chance to talk to him.

“Let’s get this over with. We don’t have much time,” Hermes announced. “We know what you both did. But it’s clear that neither of you is aware of what chaos your actions caused. You didn’t just steal any winged sandal. You stole
my
winged sandal, and thus robbed the gods of their power of teleportation.”

Kenton’s body went rigid and his eyes went wide. “What?”

“I’m Hermes. Messenger to the gods.”

Her father started shaking his head. “Bullshit! That’s impossible! You expect me to believe you’re a god and we’re in the underworld?” He motioned to the river and the masses of people lining its bank. “More like a movie set and a bunch of extras.”

“Shut up!” Kenton interrupted him, then looked back at Hermes. “Prove it! And know that you can’t fool me. I know everything about the Greek gods.”

“As you wish,” Hermes agreed and levitated, then rose higher, made a loop, and came back down.

Kenton stared at him wide-eyed. “Fuck!”

“Now that we’ve established that I speak the truth, let’s discuss what’s going to happen to both of you. Zeus is asking for revenge. And given that the two of you are involved in the theft, and are the only two he can touch, because Penny is my wife and therefore—”

“Your wife?” her father piped up. Stunned, he stared at her. “You’re married to this guy? When? How did that happen? How come I have to find out like this?”

“Dad, it’s not what you think. We had to get married.”

Her father’s chin dropped. “You’re pregnant by this guy?”

“No, of course not! Why would you think that?” Her chest heaved, and her heart beat frantically. “We had to get married so that Zeus wouldn’t kill me.”

Hermes’ hand on her forearm stopped her from continuing. “Be that as it may, what’s important now is for you to understand the following: you’re both in a coma. And Zeus will kill you if you don’t agree to the deal I’ve struck with him to spare your lives.”

“I’m not in a coma!” Kenton protested, waving his hands around. “As you can see, I’m moving and I’m talking.”

“Yes, for the moment. But as soon as I return you to the hospital, you’ll be in a coma again. What happens afterwards is your choice. Now follow me.”

Curiously, both men got out of their beds, dressed only in their hospital gowns, which gaped open at their backs. Penny averted her eyes. This wasn’t an image she was interested in carving into her memory.

Hermes led them past the long line of people who waited along the riverbank and toward the large ferry that looked something akin to an old slave ship with unfortunate souls manning the oars.

“Why are all these people here?” her father asked, pointing to the waiting souls.

“They’re dead souls waiting for admittance into Hades’ Underworld,” Penny explained.

As they passed the crowd and walked onto the ramp leading to the ferry, Hermes turned to the people and removed the long rope that kept them from boarding. “Please, board one at a time. There will be no food or drinks allowed on the boat. Only 150 allowed per ride.”

A cheer went up from the crowd, and the first souls filed onto the vessel.

“I don’t understand. What are we doing here?” Kenton asked, his eyes watching the goings-on.

“This is your future if you choose to accept it,” Hermes answered.

“What do you mean?” Kenton said.

“The underworld needs two men to operate the ferry day and night. Rules and schedules must be maintained. The operators we had before weren’t working. Zeus agreed that he’ll spare your lives if you accept the job.”

Her father stared at Hermes in amazement. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Us?” Kenton said, gesturing between himself and his partner in crime. “Are you nuts? We have lives! We can’t just disappear to the underworld to operate a damn boat.”

Hermes mollified him with a quick hand movement. “There’s more: you’ll receive generous pay, as well as two weeks vacation every year, which you’re allowed to spend in the mortal world.”

“But—”

Kenton’s protest was cut off by her father, whose eyes now glinted with interest. “Shut up. And my mother? What will I tell her?”

“You’ll tell her that you got a fantastic job abroad, and that you’ll visit her once a year,” Hermes answered. “And there’s more. You’ll live forever. You won’t age. In addition, Hades has offered something else: you, Kenton, will become Hades’ personal historian. See that palace up there on the hill? That’s Hades’ palace. It’s filled with ancient weapons, artifacts, scrolls, everything a scholar in Greek studies could wish for. He’ll give you free access to it.”

Kenton’s mouth gaped open as his gaze locked onto the castle. “Free access to all artifacts?”

Penny smiled at Hermes. She was sure he’d struck this deal with Hades to make the decision easier for Kenton.

“Free access,” Hermes confirmed once more. “And you, Bart, you’ll run this place. You’ll also oversee a construction project. I want you to build a bridge over the river. You’ll have plenty of workers to choose from. You’ll be the boss. The man. What you say goes.” He pointed to the crowd filing onto the boat. “They’ll have to listen to you.”

A wide grin spread over her father’s lips. “Sign me up.”

Hermes turned to Kenton. “And you?”

“When do I get to start?”

A sigh of relief burst from Penny’s chest, and her gaze collided with Hermes’.

Thank you
, she mouthed.

40

Hermes locked eyes with Penny for a long moment before dropping his lids. Now the moment of truth had arrived. “There was one other condition.”

He’d teleported them back to the hospital and moments later, Bart and Kenton had made a miraculous recovery. Rose had rushed Penny’s grandmother to the hospital to celebrate the good news. Shortly after, Hermes had brought Penny back home, and now the two of them stood in the living room.

One more condition.
At his words, he could feel Penny’s heart stutter to a halt.

“Don’t you want to know what the condition is?”

He noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. But he didn’t want her to cry. There was nothing to cry about.

“Penny,” he whispered. “Zeus wants a grandchild. From us. From you and me.”

She lifted her eyes to look at him. “A child? You and me?”

Was this excitement or dread in her eyes?

He nodded slowly. “Yes, and you know what that means. We’ll have to have sex. Often. Practically all the time, you know, just to make sure that you’ll get pregnant. We wouldn’t want to anger Zeus since he’s been so generous by accepting the trade I proposed. We have to make absolutely sure that we can prove to him that we have a real marriage. You know, come to think of it, two kids would really cement it. Otherwise he might claim that the first one was just an accident and we didn’t really mean it.”