A Taste for Love (23 page)

‘So he passed the Beth test?’

‘Yeah, with flying colours!’

‘Joy, I can’t believe it … you back in love again.’

‘I know … because I thought it might never happen again for me, and then Fergus came along and changed my mind. What about you, Alice? What about that nice widower in your class? He sounds perfect!’

‘Rob is great. A real old-fashioned gentleman, but he still misses his wife so much. I can’t be a stand-in for another woman. I enjoy his company and being with him, and he can be very charming, but there is something holding me back.’

‘Is it Liam?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe! Or maybe it’s too soon.’

‘For God’s sake, Alice, Elaine’s got her claws into Liam,’ reminded Joy, ‘and this is no Jennifer Aniston movie.’

‘I know, Joy, don’t worry. I have no intention of ever going back in that space. Maybe Rob just isn’t right for me. You know, he cooked the most wonderful meal for me in his house, and it was so romantic with candles and music and the two of us on his couch, and then, I don’t know why, but I just knew it wasn’t right.’

‘What did you say to him?’

‘I told him it was too soon; too soon for both of us.’

‘Poor guy.’ Joy laughed.

‘Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!’

‘OK, OK.’

‘But you know, afterwards, when I was back at home, I kept wondering what it was that had stopped me. I think that deep inside I know that even though he’s the nicest man ever and we are both on our own it’s just too simple, too obvious. Oh, I don’t know!’

‘Don’t tell me you want heartache and heartbreak and drama!’

‘No … I don’t know … maybe.’

They were just about to pay their bill when Alice’s phone went.

‘Hey, it’s Conor!’ she said, picking up.

‘Mum, where were you? I’ve been trying to phone you for the past few hours.’

‘Joy and I went to the cinema and I had my phone off.’

‘Sean’s been in an accident. He’s in hospital.’

‘Which one?’ Alice asked, feeling a mounting sense of panic.

‘He’s in the Mater Hospital. Lisa and I are here, and Jenny’s on her way from Galway.’

‘How bad is it?’ she asked.

‘Bad. He’s in a coma.’

‘Oh my God!’ she said, feeling like she had been punched in the ribs, trying to think. ‘What happened?’

‘He was with Dara in the car, and they crashed on the M50. It’s pretty bad, Mum,’ Conor said, trying to control his own voice.

‘I’m driving you straight there,’ said Joy. ‘This hour of the night there will be hardly any traffic.’

Alice felt numb as she sat in the passenger seat of Joy’s car. The drive into the city centre hospital was a flash of traffic lights, street lights, and road signs.

‘Sean is going to be OK,’ said Joy, mantra-like, over and over again. ‘Sean is going to be all right.’

Alice didn’t trust herself to speak – to say anything. She
closed her eyes, thinking of Sean heading off to college that morning. What T-shirt had he had on? Had he been wearing the new zip-up black Oakley sweatshirt she’d bought him? She couldn’t remember. What did he say to her? Did she kiss him? Had she been too busy doing the crossword? He’d had orange juice and toast and hot chocolate for breakfast because she could remember putting the plate and glass and cup in the dishwasher … but she couldn’t remember what they had said to each other. Where had Dara and he been going?

‘Alice, Alice. We’re here,’ said Joy, parking as close to the large hospital entrance as possible.

Sean was up on the third floor and Alice spotted Conor and Lisa sitting in the corridor straight away.

‘Where’s Sean?’ she asked, breaking down, just wanting to see him, to be able to touch her son, talk to him.

Conor took her in his arms. His face was red and blotchy and she hugged him. He and Sean were such buddies, even though there were almost eight years between them. They were very close. Sean had always looked up to his big brother.

‘Mum, he’s in the ward across from here, but you need to talk to the doctor on duty first.’

‘Well, where is he, then?’

‘Come on, and I’ll bring you over to the nurses’ station.’

‘Your son has suffered a significant head injury,’ the young doctor explained. ‘And he is in a state of coma. We are closely monitoring his condition, and keeping an eye out for any further internal bleeding or swelling of his brain. We have him on a ventilator to help his breathing and protect his airway. Should his condition seriously deteriorate he will be
transferred to Beaumont Hospital, which liaises closely with our neurology department, but for the moment he will remain with us. He has a broken collarbone, broken ribs, a broken ankle, a broken nose, and a few other injuries. We will examine him further in the morning to assess his condition.’

‘Will he wake up, regain consciousness?’ Alice demanded.

‘We hope so, but at this stage it is too early to tell. We are just trying to keep him stable and watch for any other changes.’

‘Can I see him?’

‘Of course, I’ll bring you down to him myself.’

Alice held her breath as the doctor opened the door to the intensive care unit, passing her a gown and mask to put on.

‘We have some very sick people here,’ he explained.

Sean’s bed was literally inside the door, and a young Indian nurse was sitting beside his bed. Sean’s eyes were shut, his face swollen and bruised like he had been in a prize fight, the ventilator tube attached to his mouth making a strange whooshing sound.

‘Is he in pain?’ Alice asked, trying to control herself. ‘Can he feel it?’

‘We have him sedated, so he’s pain free,’ the doctor reassured her.

She leaned over and kissed Sean. Her poor boy, what had happened to him? She touched his arm and hand, stroking them, wondering if he could sense she was there.

‘How is he?’ the doctor asked the nurse.

‘The same,’ said the nurse, passing him a chart.

‘This is Sean’s mother.’

‘Alice Kinsella,’ Alice said, introducing herself.

‘He’s in good hands, Mrs Kinsella, I promise,’ said the
doctor, excusing himself. ‘They need me on the second floor. Nurse Assaf will look after you, and I’m on duty all night.’

‘Would you like to sit with him for a few minutes?’ offered the nurse, getting up off her bedside stool. ‘I’m sure Sean would love to know that you are here.’

Alice sat beside her son. She felt like crying and breaking down, but instead told him about her visit to the cinema with Joy and the film they had seen, and going for coffee after. She held his hand, stroking his palm and fingers and wrist, wanting to feel the pressure of his fingers, a movement, anything. Instead her son seemed to be in a deep, deep sleep, in a place where she could not reach him. Sometimes when Sean was a little baby, she would stand at the side of his cot and watch him slumber, his two arms above his head, his face so peaceful as he slept so deeply, lost to the world and the rest of the household around him.

‘Leave him be!’ Liam used to tease her. ‘You’ll wake him.’

It was only when he stirred or drew a breath or moved that she could relax and go back to her own bed, knowing that her baby son was OK.

Now she watched, too, for a sign, a movement to show that he was going to be fine.

A few minutes later she went back outside. Lisa handed her a cup of coffee, and Alice filled them in on what the doctor had said.

‘We just have to wait,’ said Conor. ‘Sean’s a tough kid … he’ll get through this.’

‘Have you phoned your dad?’ she asked.

‘He’s in London on business, but will get a flight home
first thing in the morning and come straight here. He’d missed the last Aer Lingus one from Heathrow and the Ryanair from Stansted.’

‘Poor Liam, I’m sure he’s in a right state.’ She could imagine how she would feel if the situation had been reversed.

‘What about Dara? What’s the news on him? Were they brought in here together?’

‘Dara’s been transferred to St Vincent’s Hospital,’ said Conor, his eyes welling with tears. ‘He’s got a ruptured spleen and they think he might need a liver transplant.’

Alice closed her eyes, thinking of the two best friends, always together, praying that the two of them would survive.

Joy refused to go home, and insisted on keeping vigil with them.

‘Alice, do you honestly think I’m going to get a wink of sleep all night if I do go home?’ she said. ‘I’d far prefer to be here with you, instead of worrying about you.’

Alice had to admit she would feel the exact same way if Beth had been in an accident.

There was a small waiting room for families, and they made themselves comfortable there. They took it in turns to check with the nursing staff how Sean was doing. Alice felt such relief when she saw Jenny and Dylan arrive.

‘Dylan was great, he just put me in the car and drove like the clappers to get us here,’ Jenny said.

‘The new Galway to Dublin Road is so much quicker,’ Dylan explained, as Jenny briefly introduced him to Conor, Lisa and Joy.

‘Can I see Sean?’ she pleaded.

‘Come on and we’ll ask the nurse,’ said Conor.

Jenny was only allowed to stay a few minutes with her brother, and came out in tears.

‘He looks so bad. So banged up! What the hell were himself and Dara up to?’

‘They were in the new car Dara got for his twenty-first,’ explained Conor. ‘But look, they didn’t do anything wrong. Apparently a truck ahead of them just jackknifed in the rain and went out of control, and came right across their lane. The ambulance men said it was a miracle any of them are alive.’

‘Where is the truck driver?’ asked Joy.

‘The doctor said they were operating on him earlier, but he wouldn’t give us any more information.’

Jenny sat curled up on the bench beside Dylan, while Lisa dozed against Conor. Joy sat loyally beside Alice as the staff came in and out and Alice was let in once or twice to check on Sean. The hospital was quiet except for the odd siren as an ambulance arrived into the busy casualty department.

Then the sounds changed as the Friday night shift began to end and the new Saturday daytime staff came on. The tea trolley trundled along with the patients’ breakfasts, the cleaning staff came up and down on the lift, and the teams of new junior doctors and trainees waited to start their rounds.

‘You go and have some breakfast,’ urged Alice. ‘I’ll stay here.’

Conor took Lisa down to the cafeteria for breakfast, and they brought Alice back a piping hot bacon roll. Joy went down then, to have some breakfast with Jenny and Dylan.

Alice stretched and went off to the nearby bathroom to freshen up a bit. She looked awful. There were grey circles under her eyes, and her mouth and lips were dry. She had aged ten years overnight, and she just prayed that soon there would be good news.

She threw water up in her face, and reapplied her lipstick, and dragged her tiny hairbrush through her hair. She had just emerged from the bathroom when she spotted Liam. He looked equally exhausted, and she knew he hadn’t slept a wink either. The two of them automatically put their arms around each other.

‘He might die,’ she gulped. ‘Sean could be brain-damaged, Liam, they just don’t know how bad it is or if he’ll come out of this!’

‘Ssshhhhh,’ he murmured, holding her close. ‘It’s all right, I’m here, Alice. I’m here.’

The new day-shift nurse took them both into intensive care and asked for the registrar to come up to talk to Sean Kinsella’s parents.

‘The fact that there is no change might seem bad to you,’ explained the serious young woman doctor with the glasses. ‘But to us it shows that at least Sean is stable. He’s had a good night and all his vital signs are fairly normal. Head injuries are slow to heal. They are never quick, as the brain needs time to repair and recover, which is what we all want.’

‘Can he hear us?’ asked Liam, holding Sean’s hand.

‘You should assume he can. Talk to him when you are visiting him. It’s reassuring for Sean to hear familiar voices around him.’

‘Buddy, Dad’s here,’ said Liam, putting his arm around
their youngest son. ‘Mum and I are together and Jenny and Conor are here, too. We’re all here, all wanting you to get better and wake up and talk to us.’

‘I’m around all day, Mr and Mrs Kinsella, if you need me. My boss Professor Murray will be around to see Sean later.’

‘Thank you, Doctor Collins,’ said Alice, reading the young doctor’s name badge.

They sat with Sean for a while and then went back to the waiting room, Jenny flinging herself into Liam’s arms.

‘Oh, Dad, thank God you’re here!’ she said, breaking down. ‘Sean would want you to be here.’

‘It’s OK, Jenny. I’m not going anywhere,’ Liam promised.

She introduced him to Dylan, and Alice had to suppress a smile, as even in the circumstances they were in she could see Liam trying to make an assessment of the tall gangly young student that his daughter was dating.

‘Nice to meet you, Mr Kinsella,’ said Dylan politely. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’

At least Jenny had the good grace to blush, thought Alice. God knows what she had told Dylan about her father’s love affair.

Lisa hugged Liam, too, and Alice could see she was relieved that Conor’s dad hadn’t let them down.

‘Thanks for coming,’ said Conor quietly.

‘As if I wouldn’t come immediately to see my own boy!’ Liam protested. ‘I came as fast as I bloody well could, Conor, you know that … don’t you?’

‘Yeah, Dad, I know you did,’ said Conor, standing up and putting his arms around his father.

‘It’s OK, Conor,’ said Liam huskily, patting his shoulders.

Joy disappeared off to get coffee for everyone.

‘Alice, I think I’ll head home now. Unless you need me to stay?’ she said as she passed around the plastic cups of coffee.

‘Joy, thanks for being so good – for bringing me here and staying all night. You must be wrecked.’

‘Nothing a few hours in my own bed won’t cure!’ Joy insisted. ‘If there is any news about Sean will you let me know? I’ll come back in if you need me.’

‘Go home and get some sleep,’ ordered Alice. ‘And I promise if there is any change I’ll be in touch.’

It was mid-morning before the consultant came to see Sean. He talked to Liam and Alice afterwards.