A Tale of Two Proms (Bard Academy) (8 page)

Except it wasn’t. Something was wrong.

I didn’t quite know what it was, but as I kissed Heathcliff, his lips felt a little bit rougher than usual. Something was off. The taste of him or how he moved … it wasn’t the way I remembered. And then there were his hands. They were hard and insistent and they were roaming my body in a way that they never had before. Something about it was wrong. Something was… too dangerous. I always felt safe with Heathcliff. I always did. I always knew he would protect me, but something about him right now, about his hands, made me feel anything but safe.

And then Heathcliff was yanking at the front of my shirt, pulling it so hard he broke a button straight off the top.

 “Wait…. no,” I said, backing away from his rough hands.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked me. “Isn’t this what you want?”

“No,” I said, breathing hard. I glanced back over my shoulder and felt like I’d been seen by a hundred pairs of eyes blinking from behind windows in the dorm. And was I wrong – or did the faint smell of alcohol cling to Heathcliff’s clothes? Had he been
drinking
? I’d never known Heathcliff to drink. Not once. Not in all the time I’d known him. That’s when I noticed he was a little unsteady on his feet. He swayed a little. 

“Are you drunk?” I asked him, point blank.

“This worthless man has a vice or two,” he conceded. There was a teasing tone in Heathcliff’s voice. A tone I didn’t recognize. And since when did Heathcliff call himself worthless? There were many things Heathcliff was guilty of, but low self-esteem wasn’t one of them. It was one of his most attractive and most infuriating qualities. Heathcliff was supremely confident. “I would understand completely if you find my company… distasteful,” he said.

“No.…It’s just that I just need to get back to my room. You know – curfew.” Curfew was coming soon. Maybe ten minutes. Normally, I’d spend every last second with him, but for the first time – maybe ever – I wanted to put space between me and Heathcliff. I needed time to clear my head, time to think, time to figure out what had just happened. And why he felt so different.

Heathcliff dropped his hands. “As you wish, m’love,” he said, and gave me a curt little bow. And the dark and dangerous look in his eyes and the half smirk of a smile on his face made me feel exposed, like he could see my confusion and my fear.

And he liked it.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE

On the way inside my room, I wondered if this was the first sign that Heathcliff was changing for the worse. Was this how the evil vengeful monster from his story came about? Did it all start here with snide remarks and alcohol and a too-rough kiss? Maybe he wasn’t the kind, gentle soul I thought he was. Maybe he was just fundamentally… bad.

No.

I knew Heathcliff. I knew there was gentleness in him. After all, everyone knew he had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. It was the main reason he became so ruthless as an adult. I can honestly say that before he met me, he hadn’t had much kindness in his life. And I really thought my feelings for him had made a difference.

But something had been wrong with the Heathcliff standing in front of my dorm. It was like he was a different person. Like he was possessed. Maybe Catherine had taken over his body. Stranger things had happened at Bard.

 By the time I climbed the stairs, turned down the hall and walked into my room, I realized it was probably all in my head. I’d more than likely just imagined it. Maybe it was just me. I was just all worked up after seeing Catherine this morning. And then there was the growing stress of having the Big Decision weighing on me, too. It seemed like I kept jumping back and forth. One second, I felt like I’d be a fool not to marry Heathcliff. The next, I felt like I’d be a fool if I did.

 What I needed was some sleep. I sure hadn’t slept much last night after Heathcliff had proposed. Once inside my room, I went to the window and glanced out. He had gone. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Heathcliff would often wait for me underneath my window. I’d wave goodnight and then he’d leave. He liked to make sure I was safely in my room before he went to his. Even last night he’d waited there for the wave. I guess tonight he’d finally gotten tired of waiting. Or he’d been too drunk to remember, I thought.

That part worried me most of all as I shrugged out of my Bard uniform and into my pajamas. I wish I had a roommate to talk to about it.

My room for senior year was a single, not a double. I’d finally earned the right to be roomie-free. Many of the seniors went solo. Blade had been my roommate sophomore year. She’d decorated the room according to Goth Digest, complete with a skull candle and Wiccan framed spells on the walls. As much as I loved Blade, living with her was always a bit trying. But now, just for tonight, I wished she were here. I needed someone to talk to. Someone to tell me I wasn’t going crazy.

Blade’s room was down the hall from mine. Hana’s was on a different floor.

I heard a bell tolling in the distance, marking curfew. It was time to get inside. If I sought either one of them out now, I’d risk getting them or me in trouble, and probably all of us. I doubted my friends would be so glad to give me relationship advice if we were all in detention. And given Headmaster B’s new attitude, I’d say that she’d relish giving me some really gruesome punishment. Toilet cleaning, probably.

I sighed.

“Everything okay, Miranda?” It was the voice of Miss A. She had appeared at my door but I hadn’t heard her approach. But then, she was a ghost. They tended to be stealthy.

“Miss A!” I said, involuntarily putting my hand on my chest to prevent it from jumping straight out in fright. “You startled me.”

“Sorry,” she said and looked contrite. “I’m just doing room checks.” She held up her clipboard in her hand to show she wasn’t trying to scare the life out of me. She really was just making the rounds as the new dorm mother.

That job used to be Ms. W’s, my old teacher. But that was before she’d sacrificed herself to save us. Everyone told me that she was probably in a better place now – released from purgatory. But it still made me sad that she wasn’t here. She’d been one of the few faculty members – aside from Coach H – who was a true friend. I knew I shouldn’t mourn her. After all, her ghost had been trapped here for decades. Sacrificing herself meant she was released to go to the next world, or to heaven, or wherever it was she was supposed to go. She’d moved on and I was sure she was in a happier place. It’s what almost every faculty member at Bard dreamed of – being freed from this place. I shouldn’t wish her back here, but I really did miss her. She had always made time for me. She’d always listened. She would know what to do about Heathcliff. She would have helped me make the Big Decision, no doubt.

“Miranda? You’re sure you’re all right?” Miss A was nice. I had nothing against her. I just didn’t share the history with her that I had with Miss W. I hadn’t even spoken to her before the start of this year. And the fact was I didn’t know where I stood with some of the faculty. Many treated me a little bit like a live grenade with the pin half out. They all knew that I had a special connection to this place. Plus, few of them liked the fact that I knew Bard Academy secrets – like their real names.

I knew, for instance, that Miss A was actually Miss Austen – as in first name Jane. She’d kept a low profile my first two years at Bard. I hadn’t even realized she was here until she became the new school librarian. If she was worried that I knew her true identity, she didn’t let on. She only ever treated me with kindness. But I still kept my distance. I didn’t actually know why. Maybe it was because I was afraid to get close to another faculty member. Or maybe I didn’t trust them.

I honestly didn’t know.

I did like Miss A. On the whole, she joked and smiled more than the other teachers. She was far less doom and gloom. Right now, Miss A looked neatly put together, as usual. She wore her brown hair in a low ponytail and a simple pencil skirt and white collared shirt. “Are you sure you’re all right, dear?”

“Yes, well, I…” I didn’t know what to say. I was missing Ms. W? That couldn’t have been something Miss. A wanted to hear. She stared at me with knowing brown eyes.

“If you’d like to talk…” Miss A let her voice trail off. Her eyebrows knitted together in genuine concern. And for a split second, I thought about confiding in her. I thought about telling her about my Big Decision and about Catherine and my growing worry that something was wrong with Heathcliff. But how do you even start a conversation like that?
Um, my fictitious boyfriend whom you know I am actually forbidden to date might be bipolar and may be falling in love with his ex-girlfriend after he just asked me to marry him?

Riiiiight.

“No, Miss. A. I’m fine I was just…”

“Missing Virginia,” she said, meaning Ms. W. I must have looked shocked, and I was. It was like she read my mind. I wondered if she could actually do that. And if she could, what other secrets she found there. “Lucky guess,” Miss A said gently, when she saw the look of panic cross my face.

I relaxed a little, but not completely. Ghosts could be capable of anything. I needed to remember that.

“I know you two were close. I am sorry she is not here for you,” Miss A said.

“But she’s got to be happier… where she is, right?”

“Most likely.”

We both fell silent for a moment, lost in our own thoughts.

“Is there anything
else
I can help you with?” Miss. A almost sounded hopeful.

I shook my head. “It’s okay, Miss. A. Thanks, though.”

For a second, Miss A looked a little bit disappointed. “I’m here if you need a sympathetic ear.”

“Thanks, Miss. A.” I gave her a smile. She wasn’t Ms. W, but she did honestly want to help. She seemed nice enough, but I just wasn’t ready to explain everything to someone new. It was hard enough when Ms. W knew my whole backstory. Maybe one day I’d feel like talking about it. Right now, the thought was exhausting. Miss A ducked out of my doorway but a second later, she was back in it.

“By the way, Coach told me you wanted to go to the prom with Heathcliff.”

I glanced up at her sharply. Coach H didn’t usually gossip. Why did he tell her?

“If you’d like, I could see what I could do to help,” Miss A offered. “Maybe I could put in a good word with Charlotte.”

She meant Headmaster B.

“Oh, yeah… sure.” I thought again about when I asked Heathcliff to prom and the dangerous look that had crossed his face. Was I still sure I wanted to go with him? Only if he didn’t drink, I decided in that second. “Um… thanks, Miss. A.”

“Sure.” She beamed at me. “All right then, dear, lights out.”

I clicked the light switch and headed to bed.  As Miss A left my door and continued her rounds, I wondered if I should’ve talked to her about my problems. All the girls on my floor were crazy about Miss A. Hana was a particular fan. She told me I ought to spend more time with Miss A, but frankly my heart just wasn’t in it. I just missed Ms W. too much.

My window was open a little to let the breeze in. It was a cool spring night, like so many at Bard. The fog and wind on the island made even May cold, and it was only mid-April. I lay down on my bed, hoping to try to think things through, but I fell asleep before I could get very far. Sometimes I had weird dreams at Bard, but that night, I had a blank, restless sleep. I woke feeling tired and a little hopeless like I’d spent the night running away from faceless shadows in a nightmare I couldn’t quite remember. I pulled on my uniform and went to the cafeteria looking for a friendly face.

Heathcliff sometimes waited for me at breakfast but today he was notably absent. I couldn’t decide if I was disappointed—or relieved. When I saw Blade and Samir at a table in the corner, I grabbed a muffin and a carton of milk from the breakfast line and headed their way.

“Miranda!” Samir said, relief in his voice. “You’re alive!”

“When we didn’t see you at dinner, we got worried,” Blade said. “But when they didn’t send out the hounds, we assumed you hadn’t gone AWOL.”

That’s what happened when you broke curfew or went missing from your dorm. They literally sent out hound dogs to find you.

“I didn’t feel like dinner,” I said. “Sorry to worry you guys.”

“I
told
you she’d be fine,” Samir said, sounding triumphant. 

“You only said that because you didn’t want to go out in the dark to look for her,” Blade said, her mouth half-full. “Gotta watch out for this one, Miranda. He does
not
have your back.”

“I do so,” Samir said. “As long as I can watch her back in daylight or a very well lit area.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

“See? She forgives me,” Samir said, as if that was his trump card. 

“So why did you ditch us for dinner?” Blade asked, chewing a bit of oatmeal and then swallowing.

“How can you
eat
that?” Samir asked Blade, watching her down the gruel-like oatmeal.

“Mind over matter,” Blade said. “So? What gives?” She looked at me again.

“I was just tired,” I said. “Maybe I’m coming down with something.”

“Well you look like crap,” Blade agreed.

“Hey, thanks,” I said sarcastically, but I didn’t mind. There was something warm and familiar about their good-natured insulting.

“I told them all you were probably with Heathcliff and he’s like a big bad ass, so you would be okay,” Samir said. 

“Yeah,” I agreed weakly. There was no doubt that the version of Heathcliff I met last night near my dorm was pretty scary. It’s just I wasn’t used to him scaring
me
. But I didn’t want to tell Blade or Samir about that. 

“Did Heathcliff ever find Catherine?” Blade asked me.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” This was Hana, she’d come up behind me and put down her tray. “Miranda, good to see you among the living.”

“I’m fine – really,” I said.

“We almost broke curfew to look for you,” Hana said.

“We told her already,” Samir said. Tentatively, he shoveled a tiny bite of oatmeal in his mouth and made a face of disgust as he tasted it.