A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again (38 page)

Michael Joyce’s style is power-baseline in the Agassi mold: Joyce is short and right-handed and has a two-handed backhand,
a serve that’s just good enough to set up the baseline attack, and a great return of serve that’s the linchpin of his game.
Like Agassi, Joyce takes the ball early, on the rise, so it always looks like he’s moving forward in the court even though
he rarely comes to net. Joyce’s first serve usually comes in around 95 mph,
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and his second serve is in the low 80s, but it has so much spin on it that the ball turns weird shapes in the air and bounces
high and wide to the first-round Canadian’s backhand. Brakus stretches for the ball and floats a slice return, the sort of
weak return that a serve-and-volleyer’d be rushing up to the net to put away on the fly. Joyce does move up, but only to midcourt,
right around his own service line, where he lets the floater land and bounce up all ripe, and he winds up his forehand and
hits a winner crosscourt into the deuce corner, very flat and hard, so that the ball makes an emphatic sound as it hits the
scarlet tarp behind Brakus’s end of the court. Ballboys move for the ball and reconfigure complexly as Joyce walks back to
serve another point. The applause of the tiny crowd is so small and sad and shabby-sounding that it’d almost be better if
people didn’t clap at all.

As with Lendl and Agassi and Courier and many P.B.ers, Joyce’s strongest shot is his forehand, a weapon of near-Wagnerian
aggression and power. Joyce’s forehand is particularly lovely to watch. It’s more spare and textbook than Lendl’s whip-crack
forehand or Borg’s great swooping loop; by way of decoration there’s only a small loop of flourish
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on the backswing. The stroke itself is completely horizontal, so Joyce can hit through the ball while it’s still well out
in front of him. As with all great players, Joyce’s side is so emphatically to the net as the ball approaches that his posture
is a classic contrapposto.

As Joyce on the forehand makes contact with the tennis ball, his left hand behind him opens up, as if he were releasing something,
a decorative gesture that has nothing to do with the mechanics of the stroke. Michael Joyce doesn’t know that his left hand
opens up at impact on forehands: it is unconscious, some aesthetic tic that started when he was a child and is now inextricably
hardwired into a stroke that is itself unconscious for Joyce, now, at 22, after years of hitting more forehands over and over
than anyone could ever count.
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Agassi, who is 25 (and of whom you have heard and then some), is kind of Michael Joyce’s hero. Just last week, at the Legg
Mason Tennis Classic in Washington D.C., in wet-mitten heat that had players vomiting on-court and defaulting all over the
place, Agassi beat Joyce in the third round of the main draw, 6–2 6–2. Every once in a while now during this Qualie match
Joyce will look over at his coach next to me in the player-guest section of the Grandstand and grin and say something like
“Agassi’d have killed me on that shot.” Joyce’s coach will adjust the set of his sunglasses and say nothing—coaches are forbidden
to say anything to their players during a match. Joyce’s coach, Sam Aparicio,
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a protégé of Pancho Gonzalez, is based in Las Vegas, which is also Agassi’s home town, and Joyce has several times been flown
to Las Vegas at Agassi’s request to practice with him, and is apparently regarded by Agassi as a friend and peer—these are
facts Michael Joyce will mention with as much pride as he evinces in speaking of victories and world ranking.

There are big differences between Agassi’s and Joyce’s games, though. Though Joyce and Agassi both use the Western forehand
grip and two-handed backhand that are distinctive of topspinners, Joyce’s ground-strokes are very “flat”—i.e. spinless, passing
low over the net, driven rather than brushed—because the actual motion of his strokes is so levelly horizontal. Joyce’s balls
actually look more like Jimmy Connors’s balls than like Agassi’s.
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Some of Joyce’s groundstrokes look like knuckleballs going over the net, and you can actually see the ball’s seams just hanging
there, not spinning. Joyce also has a hitch in his backhand that makes it look stiff and slightly awkward, though his pace
and placement are lethal off that side; Agassi’s own backhand is flowing and hitchless.
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And while Joyce is far from slow, he lacks Agassi’s otherworldly foot-speed. Agassi is every bit as fast as Michael Chang,
and watch A.A. on TV sometime as he’s walking between points: he takes these tiny, violently pigeon-toed steps, the stride
of a man whose feet weigh basically nothing.

Michael Joyce also—in his own coach’s opinion—doesn’t “see” the ball in the same magical way that Andre Agassi does, and so
Joyce can’t take the ball as early or generate quite the same amount of pace off his groundstrokes. This business of “seeing”
is important enough to explain. Except for the serve, power in tennis is a matter not of strength but of timing. This is one
reason why so few top tennis players are muscular.
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Any normal adult male can hit a tennis ball with pro pace; the trick is being able to hit the ball both hard and accurately.
If you can get your body in just the right position and time your stroke so you hit the ball in just the right spot—waist-level,
just slightly out in front of you, with your weight moving from your back leg to your front leg as you make contact—you can
both cream the ball and direct it. And since “... just the right...” is a matter of millimeters and microseconds, a certain
kind of vision is crucial.
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Agassi’s vision is literally one in a billion, and it allows him to hit his groundstrokes as hard as he can just about every
time. Joyce, whose hand-eye coordination is superlative, in the top 1% of all athletes everywhere (he’s been exhaustively
tested), still has to take some incremental bit of steam off most of his groundstrokes if he wants to direct them.

I submit that tennis is the most beautiful sport there is,
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and also the most demanding. It requires body control, hand-eye coordination, quickness, flat-out speed, endurance, and that
strange mix of caution and abandon we call courage. It also requires smarts. Just one single shot in one exchange in one point
of a high-level match is a nightmare of mechanical variables. Given a net that’s three feet high (at the center) and two players
in (unrealistically) a fixed position, the efficacy of one single shot is determined by its angle, depth, pace, and spin.
And each of these determinants is itself determined by still other variables—for example, a shot’s depth is determined by
the height at which the ball passes over the net combined with some integrated function of pace and spin, with the ball’s
height over the net
itself
determined by the player’s body position, grip on the racquet, degree of backswing, angle of racquet face, and the 3-D coordinates
through which the racquet face moves during that interval in which the ball is actually on the strings. The tree of variables
and determinants branches out, on and on, and then on even farther when the opponent’s own positions and predilections and
the ballistic features of the ball he’s sent you to hit are factored in.
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No CPU yet existent could compute the expansion of variables for even a single exchange—smoke would come out of the mainframe.
The sort of thinking involved is the sort that can be done only by a living and highly conscious entity, and then only
un
consciously, i.e. by combining talent with repetition to such an extent that the variables are combined and controlled without
conscious thought. In other words, serious tennis is a kind of art.

If you’ve played tennis at least a little, you probably think you have some idea of how hard a game it is to play really well.
I submit to you that you really have no idea at all. I know I didn’t. And television doesn’t really allow us to appreciate
what real top-level players can do—how hard they’re actually hitting the ball, and with what control and tactical imagination
and artistry. I got to watch Michael Joyce practice several times, right up close, like six feet and a chain-link fence away.
This is a man who, at full run, can hit a fast-moving tennis ball into a one-foot-square area 78 feet away over a yard-high
net, hard. He can do this something over 90% of the time. And this is the world’s 79th-best player, one who has to play the
Montreal Qualies.

It’s not just the athletic artistry that compels interest in tennis at the professional level. It’s also what this level requires—what
it’s taken for the l00th-ranked player in the world to get there, what it takes to stay, what it would take to rise even higher
against other men who’ve paid the same price he’s paid.

Bismarck’s epigram about diplomacy and sausage applies also to the way we Americans seem to feel about professional athletes.
We revere athletic excellence, competitive success. And it’s more than attention we pay; we vote with our wallets. We’ll spend
large sums to watch a truly great athlete; we’ll reward him with celebrity and adulation and will even go so far as to buy
products and services he endorses.

But we prefer not to countenance the kinds of sacrifices the professional-grade athlete has made to get so good at one particular
thing. Oh, we’ll pay lip service to these sacrifices—we’ll invoke lush clichés about the lonely heroism of Olympic athletes,
the pain and analgesia of football, the early rising and hours of practice and restricted diets, the privations, the prefight
celibacy, etc. But the actual facts of the sacrifices repel us when we see them: basketball geniuses who cannot read, sprinters
who dope themselves, defensive tackles who shoot up bovine hormones until they collapse or explode. We prefer not to consider
the shockingly vapid and primitive comments uttered by athletes in postcontest interviews, or to imagine what impoverishments
in one’s mental life would allow people actually to think in the simplistic way great athletes seem to think. Note the way
“up-close and personal profiles” of professional athletes strain so hard to find evidence of a rounded human life—outside
interests and activities, charities, values beyond the sport. We ignore what’s obvious, that most of this straining is farce.
It’s farce because the realities of top-level athletics today require an early and total commitment to one pursuit. An almost
ascetic focus.
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A sub-sumption of almost all other features of human life to their one chosen talent and pursuit. A consent to live in a
world that, like a child’s world, is very serious and very small.

Playing two professional singles matches on the same day is unheard of, except in Qualies.
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Michael Joyce’s second qualifying round is at 7:30 Saturday night. He’s playing an Austrian named Julian Knowle, a tall and
cadaverous guy with pointy Kafkan ears. Knowle uses two hands off both sides
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and throws his racquet when he’s mad. The match takes place on Stade Jarry’s Grandstand Court, which seems more like a theater
than an arena because it has seats and bleachers only on the east side. But the Grandstand’s also more intimate: the box seats
start just a few yards from the court surface, and you’re close enough to see a wen on Joyce’s cheek or the abacus of sweat
on Herr Knowle’s forehead. It’s not as hot here at night, but it’s humid, and the high-power lights all have those curious
rainbow globes of diffraction around them, plus orbiting bugs. The Grandstand can hold maybe 1500 people, and tonight there
are exactly four human beings in the audience as Michael Joyce basically beats the everliving shit out of Julian Knowle, who
will be at the Montreal airport tonight at 1:30 to board the red-eye for a kind of minor-league clay tournament in Poznan,
Poland.

During this afternoon’s match Joyce wore a white Fila shirt with two different-colored sleeves. Onto his sleeve was sewn a
patch that says POWERBAR; Joyce is paid $1000 each time he wears this patch in play. Plus, this afternoon, a hat—in the afternoon
sun, pretty much all the players in the Qualies wear hats. For tonight’s match Joyce wears a pinstripe Jim Courier-model Fila
shirt with one red sleeve and one blue sleeve. The patch is on the blue sleeve. He has a red bandanna around his head, and
as he begins to perspire in the humidity his face turns the same color as the bandanna. It is hard not to find this endearing.
Julian Knowle has an abstract pastel shirt whose brand is unrecognizable. He has very tall hair, Knowle does, that towers
over his head at near-Beavis altitude and doesn’t diminish or lose its gelled integrity as he perspires.
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Knowle’s shirt, too, has sleeves of different colors. This seems to be the fashion constant this year among the qualifiers:
sleeve-color asymmetry.

The Joyce-Knowle match takes slightly more than an hour. This is including delays caused when Knowle throws his racquet and
has to go retrieve it or when he walks around in aimless circles muttering blackly to himself in some High-German dialect.
Knowle’s tantrums seem a little contrived and insincere to me, though, because he rarely loses a point as a result of doing
anything particularly wrong. Here’s a typical point in this match: it’s 1–4 and 15–30 in the sixth game. Knowle hits a 110-mph
slice serve to Joyce’s forehand; Joyce hits a very flat and penetrating drive crosscourt, so that Knowle has to stretch and
hit his forehand on the run, something that’s not particularly easy to do with a two-handed forehand. Knowle gets to the forehand
and hits a thoroughly respectable shot, loopy with topspin and landing maybe only a little bit short, a few feet behind the
service line, whereupon he reverses direction and starts scrambling back to get in the middle of the baseline to get ready
for his next shot. Joyce, as is SOP, has moved in on the slightly short ball and takes the ball on the rise just after it’s
bounced, driving a backhand even flatter and harder into the exact same place he hit his last shot, the spot Knowle is scrambling
away from. Knowle is now forced to reverse direction and get back to where he was.
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This he does, and he gets his racquet on the ball, but only barely, and sends back a weak little USDA Prime loblet that Joyce,
now in the actual vicinity of the net, has little trouble blocking into the open court for a winner. The four people clap,
Knowle’s racquet goes spinning into the blood-colored tarp, and Joyce walks expressionlessly back to the deuce court to receive
again whenever Knowle gets around to serving. Knowle has slightly more firepower than the first round’s Brakus: his groundstrokes
are formidable, probably even lethal if he has sufficient time to get to the ball and get set up. Joyce simply denies him
that time. Joyce will later admit that he wasn’t working all that hard in this match, and he doesn’t need to. He hits few
spectacular winners, but he also makes very few unforced errors, and his shots are designed to make the somewhat clumsy Knowle
move a lot and to deny him the time and the peace ever to set up his game. This strategy is one that Knowle cannot solve or
interdict: he hasn’t got the tools for it. This may be one reason why Joyce is unaffronted by having to play the Qualies for
Montreal: barring some kind of injury or neurological dysfunction, he’s not going to lose to somebody like Austria’s Julian
Knowle—Joyce is simply on a different plateau from the mass of these Qualie players.