A Summer To Remember: Novella (Lost Love Book 1) (7 page)

Xavier

When Isabelle tells us her boyfriend recently passed away, my heart broke for her. I can't imagine how she must be feeling. I've not helped her case either, with my constant come-ons, Shit, I'm such a dumbass. I had a niggle she was hiding something. but my god, not for one second did not believe it could be something so terrible. To say it’s a shock is an understatement. How can I continue to pursue her knowing, what she's going through? What’s even worse, I'm a douche for jumping the gun. Accusing her EX of leaving her to face the pregnancy alone. I couldn't be any more wrong.

Covering my face within my hands, willing my emotions to subside. "You okay?" James inquires from the opposite side of the room. Determined to calm my breathing. James offers no opportunity for me to answer before Kyle puts in his two pennies "It wasn't my place to say." My hands turn white from the pressure I'm applying to the chair. "She will be alright, Xavier, she needs time." Pissed off listening to their excuses. I cross my hands over my chest, my eyes narrowing on Kyle. “What if she needs someone to be there for her, huh!” Kyle's head flips up, the veins in his neck throbbing, clearly angry. Guess I struck a nerve. His lips forced into a tight-lipped smile. "You mean to tell me, you know what's best for my sister. The girl you've just met." I see red, shaking with anger. There is no way I’m going to be on the receiving end of his boneheaded attitude.  I step in his direction, we’re now chest to chest. With venom lacing from my voice, “Not one of you have taken any time for her. She isn't eating, I've seen her eat one meal. One meal in five fucking days. She wakes up every night screaming. You haven't by any means comforted her, not once since I’ve been here. It’s me who spends the night helping to keep the nightmares at bay. Don’t you fucking dare stand there and tell me I know nothing about her.” I argued.

Kyle steps back, his face crumbles. His eyes glistening with unshed tears, raising his hands, he holds them out in surrender. “Shit." Kyle rubs his hand roughly across his face. "I didn’t realize she wasn't coping. And what nightmares?” I shake my head in annoyance, “hearing her screaming, scares me.” Kyle glares at me expecting me to give him more information, “You need to talk to her man.” I slap him on the back and sit back down.

The rest of the night passes before my eyes. Eager to jump into the shower and forget the evening's turn of events. I wrap myself in a bathrobe and lay back on the bed. My eyes are heavy, If I give into temptation and shut my eyes for ten minutes, It won't hurt. Will it! Unable to fight any longer, I drift off to sleep.

~#~

I wake in a panic and search out the time. It’s nine o’clock, crap, I slept all night. I must've been exhausted, my only hope is Isabelle didn’t have a nightmare. I won’t forgive myself If I wasn’t there to hold her.

After freshening up, I go in search of Isabelle. I enter the kitchen, just as my stomach lets out an almighty grumble. Excellent timing. The house is silent. Where is everyone or Isabelle for that matter? Picking a bowl from the draining board, I fill the bowl with cereal and pour myself a glass of orange juice. I’m half way through chucking it down when Caleb enters the room followed by Nikki. “Morning,” I mumble.

“Good Morning Xavier, how are you this morning?” My only response is a shrug, I’m not in the mood for talking. But, I’m saved from answering when Caleb distracts Nikki. I turn my back, giving them the privacy, they deserve. I find my thoughts drifting back to Isabelle. I hope she’s okay. Why won't she let me be there for her? If she'd prefer a platonic relationship, it's better than nothing.

“Where are Kyle and Isabelle?” James asks pulling me out of my retrieve. He strolls towards us. “Not sure. I've not seen anyone, since last night.” After tidying our dishes away, we’re trying to decide what our plans are for the day. Kyle comes waltzing in “You dirty stop out.” Nikki teases. He sends her a glare and tells her to be quiet. 

I glance past him and see Isabelle stood in the shadows. Sending her a reassuring smile, in hopes she will grace me with one of her own. Which to my delight, she does. That’s all I needed to put my worrying mind at ease.

  I wasn’t sure what reception I was going to receive today. I know Isabelle relies on me to help with the nightmares but have I let her down by not being with her? But saying that, she seemed to be smiling more, which in turn brought a smile to my lips. But there were times throughout the day when my eyes would automatically seek her out. Each time there was an unidentifiable expression, masking her gorgeous features.

What’s making her look so worried? There’s something in her eyes, something scaring her. What can it possibly be? And how can I bring a true smile to her lips? Racking my brain for possible ideas but I keep coming up empty handed, I might need to enlist Nikki for some help.

~#~

When she excuses herself to her room, it’s the perfect time to have her to myself for five minutes. Mumbling to Kyle, I’m going for a lie-down. I head upstairs. Gently knocking her door, not to startle her. My hands are itching to pull her into my chest, and apologize for not being with her last night. As soon as the door swings open and my eyes land on her beautiful body, my nerves get the better of me. Running my hand through my hair, trying to get my words together but failing. I pull in a deep breath and finally release the words, “I want to apologize for not keeping you company last night. I was exhausted from sleeping in the chair and completely zonked out.” I wasn’t expecting her to blow up in my face. Does she really think I only come to her room is to babysit her? How can she not know how much I like her? Frustrated and utterly pissed off with the situation, I turn and make a brisk exit. I can’t be dealing with this crap.

No more than five minutes passes before I hear her bedroom door opening, seconds later it closes. I’m sitting on the window ledge, taking advantage of the tranquil mountains around me. Trying to gain some semblance in my head. How can she possibly not know how I feel?  I catch some movement in the corner of my eye, turning my gaze. Isabelle’s climbing into her car. What the fuck, where is she going?

Now I feel even more of a douche, has she left because of me. Did I overreact? This is the exact reason, why I hadn’t wanted anything serious. All the what if’s. Sighing, I get up, deciding I should get the wrath off Kyle over and done with. That’s if he’s even bothered to notice.

Finding everyone, sat around the television, playing COD as usual. I stand in the doorway. Waiting for Kyle to come flying at me, but it doesn't materialize, in fact, he turns towards me and smiles. Offering me his control pad. I gather he didn’t notice I upset her then. Waiting for a new game to start, Kyle, Caleb, and James are discussing what they want to eat. I don’t pay much attention to the conversation, as I get lost in the game.

Looking at the clock, three hours has passed since Isabelle left the house. I find myself, holding back the urge to pace. “What, If something has happened.”

“Chill out man.” James call’s from the other side of the room. “You're going to blow a fuse If you don’t calm the hell down.” I know he’s right but how can I calm down, when she possibly left because of me.

  The front door bangs open, Isabelle comes strolling in with a smile plastered on her face. It doesn’t quite meet her eye's though, I know something's wrong. She must feel my stare, her head flips in my direction. The fake smile leaving her features replaced with a genuine one. I pat the seat beside me, in hopes she’ll take the hint. She heads in my direction, stopping directly in front of me. Unable to resist, my hands reach out on their own accord, pulling her onto my lap. She makes a little squealing sound, my god that’s sexy.

We spend the evening laughing and joking. Having a great time but I go and spoil it, by opening my big mouth asking if she feels the chemistry between us. Which she gives me an understandable answer to.  I’m lost in her green eyes, when a sudden urge to feel her lips against mine, rules my judgment. Lowering my head, my eyes stay focused on her enticing lips. Swiping my thumb across her lips, freeing them from their hold. I lean in, barely touching my lips to hers. Waiting for some sort of sign that she’s okay for me to carry on. Her body goes rigid in my arms, I come to the realization I’ve pushed too far. She scrambles off my lap, and heads for the stairs. To her safe haven but not before I catch the hint of sadness in her smile.

As soon as she's out of hearing distance the boys start ribbing me, singing. “Ooh, Xavier and Izzy sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” shaking my head at them yet I can’t help but smile. “Piss off.” Kyle catches me off guard when he asks. “You really like her, don’t you? I been watching the way, you act when she’s around. You're smitten but my first threat still stands, what happens when you leave Xavier?” I know he’s right but I can’t help how I feel. I not sure if I want to hold back. I feel like she’s my one. My forever girl.

Isabelle

Awakening much later, I turn over the bed to find the space next to me empty. I’m disappointed Xavier isn't beside me. I reach for the phone to check the time, only to discover a calendar reminder. I forgot I had a meeting with the midwife. I have twenty minutes until I'm due there, which sends me scrambling to get ready. Arriving at the office, I book myself in and wait to be called.

"Miss Taylor, would you follow me please?" asks a little woman with graying hair.

Trailing behind her, she pushes open the door to the examination room. "Pull up a chair, lovely. My name's Joan. I’m the resident midwife here.”

Slowly, I lower myself into the seat she indicated.

“Don’t look so terrified, dear. There is no reason to worry. I will perform an examination, to see how the baby is doing. I will also check the heartbeat and ask you a few questions. Is that okay?”

I nod my head to show it's fine and I understand the next steps.

"Okay Isabelle, how have you been feeling?"

“I’m feeling better now the sickness has passed. but I'm constantly  drained."

Joan looks at me intently. “I'm glad you’re feeling better. You're coming into the blooming phases of pregnancy. Tiredness is normal in most circumstances however in the event that it deteriorates. Come back.”

"Okay," I reply, letting her know I've taken everything on board.

She requests that I pop onto the bed. Once I'm comfortable, she places her hands onto my belly, feeling around. "Everything feels fine. Let me see if I can locate the heartbeat." She pulls out a weird looking object and places it on my belly.

Seconds later the room's filled with the sound of the baby's heartbeat. I’m mesmerized, all I can do is lie here and listen to the most incredible sound, my baby’s heartbeat.

Joan taps my arm. "It's astounding, isn't it, dear?"

I can’t bring myself to answer. Afraid the sob I’m frantically trying to hold in doesn’t advance past my lips.

“It’s okay to cry.”

My response is a nod.

“Where’s the father, dear?”

That does it, there's no holding back my emotions, however hard I battle. I discover myself opening up to her, letting everything slip free.

I’m humiliated for letting my weakness show. In all honesty, Joan was incredible and extremely consoling. I feel somewhat lighter for opening up. Joan gives me her number in case I need anything. I express gratitude towards her and leave.

Did you hear the heartbeat, Josh? I silently ask, gazing toward the clouds. With a little grin, I climb into my little Honda and head back to the house.

As I pull to a stop on our two car drive. My phone lets off a buzz and I reach over the middle console, to where I stored it in the glove box.

  Kyle: We’ve gone to the beach so, grab some food and meets us.

  Me: Okay, give me an hour and I will be with you.

  Kyle: Laters.

~#~

Scavenging through my drawers looking for my black one piece. I’m not sure if it's likely to fit anymore, with my stomach getting bigger week by week. Maybe I should opt for a bikini instead. After a couple of minutes of debating which is the best to wear, my hand lies on my turquoise bikini. Screw it. I slip it on under my clothes, then go about packing my beach bag with all the essentials. Towel, sunscreen, iPod, check. 

“Oh, I know what I’m forgetting,” I mutter to myself. Peering around my room, I find precisely what I'm searching for. I slip my shades on top of my head. Perfect. Entering the kitchen, I begin making PB&J sandwiches, which Xavier said was his favorite. I also make some meat and salad, incase. It’s best to cover all bases. Junk food fills the rest of the bag. That ought to keep Kyle happy, at least until Dinner. Mentally, I go through the checklist. Crap, my kindle. How could I possibly overlook that?

Advancing back upstairs to get my Kindle, I locate it and then grab the bags.

Setting them onto the passenger's seat, I back out of the drive. The beach shouldn't take long to get to. It's thirty minutes away. When my favorite tune Cheerleader by Omi begins playing. I turn the radio up and wiggle my bum on the seat, in an attempt to dance. God knows what I look like to passers-by. But right at this minute, I don’t give a damn.  I’m still in a euphoria from hearing my baby’s heartbeat. It sounded so magical. Though it's not something I would've even thought I'd hear myself say for quite a while. Particularly without Josh. Not wanting to ruin the day by dragging memories of Josh up. I compel them to the back of my mind, unwilling to reminisce the painful reality.

The car park's packed, I've been driving around hunting down space for twenty minutes. A car hauls out just ahead and I move into the parking space before I miss out to another person. Killing the engine, I grab the bags from the passenger seat and go in pursuit of the group. It doesn't take long to find them. You can't generally miss four gorgeous men playing soccer. My eyes focus in on Xavier's chest shimmering in the sun. How I need to run my hands along the contours of his abs. I give my head a shake, to dispose of the sexual allusions going through my scattered brain.

"Hey, whore. Get your ass over here," Nikki shouts.

   I attempt to stop myself ogling Xavier’s chest but it’s futile. I peep through my eyelashes to see if I’ve been caught. No surprise I have. Xavier's peering at me with a smirk, as though he knows what I've been thinking. Not wanting him to discover, the redness taking control over my cheeks. I make my way towards Nikki.

Placing my towel on the sand, I debate whether to strip down to my bikini. I self-consciously glance around to verify no one's watching. Just as I decide the coast is clear, Nikki breaks my reprieve. "What's wrong, Isabelle? Please tell me you came with some sort of swimwear.” 

I admit that I'm in fact wearing a bikini. Yet terrified about anybody getting a glimpse of my protruding belly.

“Don't be ridiculous, you're meant to show off your bump, you’ve got a miracle growing inside you. Anyway, who gives two shits what anyone thinks. Now strip.” Nikki whisper yells.

Plucking up the courage, I reach for the bottom of my shirt and pull it over my head before I have a chance to change my mind. My hands naturally want to cover my assets. I catch Nikki in the corner of my eye, shaking her head while glaring at my hands. Fighting the urge to give into temptation, I reach down and slip out of my shorts. In hurried movements, I drop my body onto the towel.

Someone wolf whistles in our direction, I would prefer not to pay attention to some perv. Nikki gets her sun cream and begins applying it to my back.

"He can't take his eyes off you." Nikki says discreetly.

Secretly I'm over the moon. However not wanting to show any sign of attraction to Xavier, I fake disinterest.

"You're not tricking anybody, Izzy. We can all see you're up on him."

Trying to overlook her implication. "Have you checked out the latest read from Kathryn Kelly?”

Nikki quits applying the sunscreen, moving so she's sat before me. "Uh, uh, Missy. You don't get the chance to change the discussion. We both know you have feelings for him, Why can’t you give him a chance?” she sighs. 

How can I make everyone understand? Regardless if the feelings are mutual. He’s leaving soon plus I can’t expect him to take on another man's child.

"I know what’s going through your head. He clearly couldn't care less about you being pregnant. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be trying so hard to get you to notice him.”

“What about Josh? I can’t forget about him. No scratch that, I’m not willing to forget about him. How am I supposed to just move on?” 

Nikki sighs while looking at me with a concerned expression. "You'll always remember Josh, Izzy. He was your first love but you can’t live the rest of your live alone. There's not an ideal time to move on,  Josh would want you to be happy. Xavier's crazy about you. Don’t miss your chance.” The discussion gets cut off when I feel somebody behind me. There's no reason to look, I know who it is when the woodsy smell hits my nostrils.

  "What Nikki said is true, you know." Xavier whispers discreetly in my ear, causing my body to break out in shudders. Shit, how long was he stood behind me? "I have feelings for you that I'm not going to deny.  And if you're worried about the baby, I want to stand by you and help you in any way I can.” Tears spring to my eyes once more. “Go on a date with me Isabelle?” He whispers so low, I think I've misheard him until I peer behind me and look into his anxious eyes.

I’m confused whether I ought to run with my heart and give him a chance or run for the wind. Feeling the gaze of two individuals, eagerly waiting for my answer. My mouth opens and closes as I attempt to come up with an answer; I discover myself agreeing. The grin that spreads across his face sends a shock to my heart. Maybe a broken heart can be healed.

“Thank you,” he counters while pulling me into the safety of his arms.

  I spend the rest of the afternoon in Xavier's arms, attempting to read my kindle. I say attempt loosely, Nikki goes on and on about what to wear for the date.  I’m not really that bothered and to be honest, most of my clothes are growing too small in any case.  I made the mistake disclosing this information to Nikki. In her eyes, my clothes getting tight is the perfect excuse for a shopping spree.

Rolling my eyes at her dramatic reaction, and a lot of persuading on Nikki's part. I relent and agree to go shopping tomorrow afternoon. With no idea what Xavier’s plans are, I put my trust in Nikki’s judgment.  The rest of the afternoon is spent laughing and joking.

James is hysterical. Everything he says as me bursting out with laughter until my sides are aching. For the past twenty minutes, he’s been trying to hit on a petite blonde but with every avenue he tries. She keeps knocking him back, clearly not interested. Xavier's been  sweet and hasn’t left my side.  My body has been on edge since he sat behind me, my body pressed tightly against his.

“I’m starving,” Caleb announces while dropping on the sand in front of us. I’m not surprised, both; him and Kyle have been attempting to surf. I say attempting loosely, as they were more off the board than on. Kyle’s strolling behind him, yelling “me too, I think we should go to Saffron Paradise. Come to think of it, I quite fancy some spicy pork.” All in agreeance, we pack up.

Caleb, James, and Nikki climbed into Kyle’s car, which leaves Xavier and me in mine. Apprehension hits me. What if we haven’t got anything to say to each other? It’s not like we haven’t spent time alone, but when he appears in my room each night, no words are spoken. My worries dissipate when he asks if there’s anything I would like to do tomorrow? Tilting my head, I pull my eyes off the road for two seconds. “I’m not really sure but whatever you have planned, I’m happy with.”

  I flash him a reassuring smile before turning my gaze back onto the road. Silence descends on us, but it’s not uncomfortable. I switch the radio on for some background noise. Xavier starts singing quietly, bringing a smile to my face. Turning the blinker on to make a right turn into the restaurant’s car park. I spot Kyle’s car towards the back of the parking lot. I pull to a stop next to them and we all head into the restaurant in search of a table.

We wait fifteen minutes before we're seated. My feet are aching and I’m extremely tired.  I think some food is in order, then I’m overdue an early night. A petite waitress walks in our direction and introduces herself as Emma. When she finally pulls her eyes away from Caleb she makes her way around the table asking what each of us would like. She particularly swoons, when she hears Caleb’s heavy drawl. Nikki rolls her eyes, clearly not amused, with the waitress hitting on her man.

Can she not see, Nikki particularly sat on his lap? I shake my head at Nikki, letting her know it’s not worth the hassle. It’s not like he’s paying attention to the waitress anyway. His eyes are fixed to Nikki, but she’s too preoccupied to notice.

Xavier places his hand on the top of mine, giving it a squeeze. He clears his throat, drawing the attention of the waitress from Caleb to himself. My body freezes and a sudden surge of jealousy forces its way up my spine. I’m in the midst of pulling away from Xavier's touch when I feel the heat of his breath, alongside my neck. He quietly whispers in my ear, “there’s no need to be jealous, babe.”

My breaths come in shallow spurts,

Keeping his hand on my thigh, he turns back towards the waitress. “Do you have any egg rolls please?” Without waiting for a reply, he tilts his head until he’s facing me. A smirk graces the soft contours of his lips. He leans forward leaving his lips barely touching mine. “You're the only girl I’m interested in, Isabelle.”

That should make me feel better but in reality, it doesn’t. How will this possibly work? I mean for one there's going to be a stupid amount of distance between us when he leaves. And two, he can have any girl, so why is he interested in me. A British girl, who’s soon to be a mother.

A plate is placed in front of me brings me back to reality. I suddenly notice the chatter around the table has died down, all set of eyes on me. Have I missed something?

Kyle asks, “Is everything is okay? The waitress is waiting to see if you want anything else.”