A Storm of Pleasure (18 page)

Gifted.

Cursed.

Alone as he was meant to be.

W
hen Katla regained herself from the mindless, grieving woman she became after witnessing her brother condemned to death by the man she loved, she felt nothing. Then her mind and heart filled with such pain over what had happened, how it happened, and worse, her part in it that she could not think in any rational way for days.

She’d left Harald in the middle of the night and wandered through the countryside without sleeping or eating or thinking. It was not until days and nights later that she noticed Godrod trailing her. She hurt too much to speak or acknowledge him, but his presence eased her in some way. He was the last link to her home and life in her father’s house.

She’d taken refuge from a storm when he approached her. He offered her something to drink from a skin, and she accepted it and then a bit of coarse bread that stuck in her throat. He did not speak to her even then, which was a good thing. She could not string words together that would make sense and did not have the strength to try. He simply followed her for the next several days until she began the horrible task of thinking through the pain.

One day, a week later, she thought, Godrod began leading her instead of following, and she allowed it. With no family left, she had few options. Knowing her uncle wanted her dead, Katla did not know where to seek refuge in Orkney. For now, she trailed Godrod, keeping pace with him as they seemed to make their way back to the shoreline. Katla did not know if they were still in Scotland or had crossed back into Caithness.

And she did not care.

All was lost.

Because of her.

Even Gavin would now suffer because of her—she’d dragged him into this situation, she’d forced him to help her with false promises, and now she’d abandoned him at his most vulnerable time to the punishments inflicted by his powerful gift. She’d used him far more than he’d used her—for his use had been of her body, but she’d used up his heart and soul.

It hurt too much to consider her actions against him, so she pushed them away. For hours at a time, she could keep his face from her mind. For hours, she did not remember the passion he’d shown her or the pleasure they’d shared. For hours, she could force her heart to forget the love that burned for him. Then, in a rush, it flooded back, ripping her traitorous heart to shreds in an instant.

Godrod said nothing about anything he’d witnessed. He kept walking through the countryside, over the rolling hills, and through valleys in the midst of harvest time. He spoke to her in few words, usually directions or questions about food or stopping for the night.

Sometimes he would leave in the middle of the night or early in the morning before she rose, but he never explained his actions. When she finally realized that he would reappear with food or supplies, Katla understood. She did not sleep much, merely laying her exhausted body down and waiting for the sun to rise again.

Godrod pushed her on, forcing her to move and to live even when she had no desire to do so. The days grew cooler and damper as they traveled, and soon she needed her cloak against the cold. When she knew that she would continue to live, even if her life was empty now that she had betrayed the man she loved, she asked Godrod the first question.

“Where are you taking me?”

“We head north,” he answered, dropping back to walk at her side. “I have friends and thought to seek shelter for the winter with them.”

“In Orkney?”

He shook his head. “Nay, Katla. ’Tis not safe for you in Orkney with your uncle seeking your blood.”

So, ’twas true then. Her uncle would not be content until Sven Rognvaldson’s children were gone. He wanted no one to question or seek that which had been her father’s.

“I thought the western isles. I have a cousin who serves a lord there and who would take us in until…”

“Until?” she asked. Though she could think again, she could not think clearly or too far into the future.

“Until it is safe and until you decide what you want to do.”

“I know what I need to do, Godrod,” she said, understanding that she must admit her guilt to the one most wronged by her actions. “We must go to Durness.”

Gavin’s descent into madness took little time at all. ’Twas as though his soul, at once understanding that he would not see Katla again, could no longer hold back the chaos and the clamor. Days after the ritual when the voices began their taunting, they soon took on the din of hundreds of horns blaring inside his head. After two months of relative peace, the pain roared back with such ferocity that he feared madness would be his only refuge.

Haakon began to feed him ale laced with some brew, something he’d used before Katla’s calming effect, but it did no good. With weeks left until the next full moon, he foresaw only pain and suffering until he died during that last ritual. But none of that mattered, because his heart had broken at the loss of her. The pain in his head paled when compared to the one in his heart. He would be at some ease once he knew she was safe with Harald.

So he waited.

The moment Harald entered the chamber, Gavin knew something was terribly wrong. Worse, his deafness prevented him from hearing any explanation. Now all he could do was worry until he could hear again. He set Haakon to packing and sent word to King Edgar’s steward that he was ready to leave. As a courtesy, and probably in the hopes of attracting Gavin to his court if his allegiance to Earl Magnus ever waned, Edgar offered them passage back to Orkney on a large, swift ship.

A terrible sense of foreboding filled Gavin as they sailed north and worse, the power seemed to build far in advance of the waxing moon. When someone touched his hand, he would hear bits and pieces of thoughts or memories from the person. If he concentrated, he could make it happen. Only in short bursts and not as clear as during the ritual, but it happened too many times on the voyage north for Gavin not to recognize that the power was approaching some precipice. Harald noticed it, but did not ask him about it. Haakon knew it, too.

On the fifth day of the journey, his hearing returned and he finally learned the details of Katla’s disappearance. The only thing that consoled him was the knowledge that Godrod must be with her and that they had enough coins and gold to pay for food, supplies, and passage out of Scotland.

Once the voices began in earnest, he could think very little. By the time they arrived in Durness, he was back to the screaming madman he’d been when Katla had found him in the cave. So many voices, so many thoughts, so much pain.

The ale did not work. The wine did not work. The healer’s brew did not work. So Gavin existed in pain, day and night, whether in the cave or out of it. He tried staying in the cottage above the cliffs, but every place in it reminded him of Katla and brought some memory of their time together back to him. Like the taunting in his mind, the memories mocked every hope he’d dared allow himself to have during those days. So he left, walking off into the hills, carrying only a skin of the drug-tinged ale with him for the small measure of relief it gave his body.

As though something else guided his feet, two days later Gavin stumbled into the circle of stones and fell there in the center. Exhausted, empty, and in pain, he could go no farther. Though he heard the same laughter there, he could not tell whether it was someone else’s thoughts or produced by the strong herbs in his ale. And he did not care.

Haakon would follow and retrieve him when the earl’s emissary arrived for the ritual. Until then it mattered not where he slept or if he did, for without Katla there was no peace.

It had taken weeks, but they’d crossed the land of the Scots and then hired a boat to take them north. Skirting along the western coast between Scotland and the isles now ruled by the Norse king, they made good time due to fair winds and unusually calm seas for this time of year.

The Gaels with whom they traveled shared stories to pass the time, and Katla learned much of the history of the places they saw along the way. And though they all worshipped the Christian God, some still spoke of the Old Ones and the coming festival of Samhain when the beings in the spirit world could cross into the physical one. Katla shivered when the old woman described the process to her, but something rang true in her words.

The end of the month approached when the second full moon would occur, and Katla wondered if Gavin would return to Durness for it. She thought he would. She would wait for him in Durness.

The waters churned dangerously and wildly, and the boat could go no farther, so she and Godrod decided to travel the final miles over land. They passed through an area called Assynt and through the hills of Quinag as they headed into the Southerlands and toward Durness. Finally, they entered a valley that looked and felt familiar to her.

The valley curved, and as they followed the stream running through it, Katla realized where their path would lead. As the sun drifted low in the sky and night was only a few hours away, they saw the ring of stones in the distance. Katla pushed on, something pulling her to that circle. She waved Godrod back when they reached it, entering alone.

This time, the whispers grew louder around her, and she turned this way and that, fooled by their strength and clarity into thinking others spoke to her. Katla walked toward the rise in the middle of the circle and would have tripped over him if she’d not been looking down at that moment.

Gavin lay senseless at her feet, unmoving and barely breathing.

H
e opened his eyes and saw her once more.

His angel had returned, though he was certain it was too late to save him. Mayhap she would play the role of Valkyrie this night and guide his soul to the land of the dead?

It mattered not, for all his hopes were gone, all his dreams crushed, his life worthless. Death promised to be an easier path than life was now. He lifted his head and saw the moon rising and felt its pull in his blood.

He turned his head and gazed into eyes he knew, that gaze he’d never thought to see again. He breathed her name.

“Katla.”

She remained standing above him, surrounded by the glittering stars as they made their appearance in the growing night sky above her. Her hair floated around her, reflecting the light of those stars, and he heard her voice, piercing through the tumult in his mind, for he heard it with his heart.

“Gavin,” she said, and his heart raced at the sound.

His blood pounded through his veins, and he felt his body stir to life. Pushing himself up off the ground, he blinked to clear the dizziness away and looked around them. The circle filled with wisps of light that swirled around. But the touch of her hand on his face made everything else disappear.

“I…” she began.

He placed his finger on her mouth and shook his head. “No words,” he pleaded. “I have too many in my head.”

“No words then,” she said, nodding in agreement with his request.

He’d had this dream before, and so he let it flow again, reaching out to touch her face and kiss her mouth. Not certain what was real and what was fantasy and blind hope, Gavin held her close, afraid she would disappear as quickly as she’d appeared before him. As he lifted his lips from the possessive joining of their mouths, Gavin began to hear her body.

The joy and sheer pleasure of those sounds pushed all others away, and his body responded to her nearness, to her touch, and to her scent. His heart sang in response to the music her body made as they undressed each other. The overwhelming desire that shot through him when he held her naked in his arms nearly took away his control. Then, something else took over, and he was carried away by it as he loved her, loved her for the last time.

Soon there was no beginning or end to either of them; their bodies and hearts merged in the passion that spun out around them and through them. They breathed as one, they moved as one, they felt pleasure as one. As they pursued that moment of satisfaction, of joining, of completion, Gavin knew he would always love her.

If only they had more time.

That thought flitted through his mind while their bodies exploded together and passion overwhelmed them. It was a long time before either one could move, and so they lay, still joined, still in the euphoria that such passion created, ignoring the force that would pull them apart. Katla was the first to speak, and he listened, still surprised that he heard only her voice and no other.

“I need to tell you something, Gavin,” she began.

He sat up, shaking his head to stop her. The moon rose over the line of trees, and he could feel the power beginning to flow. There was little time and he wanted to tell her so much.

“Katla, there are things you must know,” he said. “Things I could not tell you.”

She stood then and stepped back. Reaching for her tunic, she pulled it on quickly. Godrod was out there somewhere and, just as before, she thought she saw someone walking outside the stone pillars.

“I lied to you, Gavin.” She needed to tell him the truth about her actions. He needed to know. “I lied to gain your cooperation. I dragged you into my plot knowing you would suffer. I…” She stuttered then, unable to say the words.

“I know you lied.” His words stopped her. “You have no knowledge of my past.”

“You knew?” She frowned at him. “Then why did you agree to help me?”

“I am the Truthsayer, it is my task to hear the truth.”

She sensed that he was still avoiding the complete truth. She could hear it in his voice. She could feel it in her heart. “Why did you help me?”

“Because you have given me so much, I wanted to repay you.”

“I gave you pain. I gave you lies. I kidnapped you, Gavin.”

He smiled, and the sadness of his look touched her heart. “You gave me moments of peace and silence such as I’d never felt before. You gave me moments of hope that let me see a possible future for myself. You gave me yourself time and time again to ease my pain, even when you had every reason not to.” He laughed then. “Even now when you should hate me for speaking the words that damned your father and your brother, you feel pain for me.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks at his words. She’d thought he’d only sought the pleasures of the flesh from her. She’d thought only her body was of interest for the passion he could stir within her and the satisfaction he could find with her. But it was the emotions created by their joining that he treasured.

“I wish I could give you what you need most, Gavin. Godrod will search out more knowledge and we will find…”

“There is no time, Katla,” he said, his voice changing as it always did for the truthspeaking. “This will be my last ritual.”

She looked around, searching for the person who would hear the truth and saw no one. “Your last ritual? I do not understand. Who, Gavin? Whose truth will you speak?”

His eyes changed next, glowing from within and losing all the color until only light shone forth. His face seemed to melt, and another’s took its place. When he grabbed her hand and she felt power surge into her body and her mind, she understood.

“I hear your truth, Katla Svensdottir,” the voice said.

He pulled her forward into some place that she’d never seen before. Even though their bodies did not move, their minds seemed to travel through the air around them. Lights flickered around them, and so many voices surrounded them that she felt dizzy.

“I hear your truth, Katla.” Gavin’s voice spoke alone in her thoughts. “Too many other voices have told part of it, though none have told it all. Hear it now,” he ordered, and she could do nothing but listen as voices shouted out at her from all sides.

Her father’s anger at the earl. Her uncle goading him to take action. Her brother pleading with her father to give him a role. Gavin speaking of his love for her. Harald offering a place in his household and more. It went on and on and on until she thought she would scream. Every aspect of her had taken on a voice, and the manipulations of all the players had been exposed by the Truthsayer’s abilities.

The last thing she heard was Gavin telling of his coming death. She screamed then, not wanting to hear of it and not wanting it to happen before she admitted her true feelings to him.

“I lied,” she called out, though she was uncertain he could hear. “I lied to you, Gavin. Hear me!”

Suddenly he was gone from her mind, from her thoughts, and she was alone with so many facts now known. She felt his hand slip from hers and opened her eyes to see him sinking to his knees before her. His face became his own, and his voice returned.

“You lied to me, Katla,” he whispered, and then he collapsed at her feet.

She knelt down and called out for Godrod. Leaning Gavin back, she placed her hand on his chest and felt his heart slowing under her palm.

“No! Gavin!” she yelled, and she shook him. “You cannot die now.” She screamed as his chest stopped drawing breath. “Gavin!” His sightless eyes stared back at her. She clutched him to her and whispered against his skin. “’Twas not only a bargain, Gavin. I lied when I said that. It was more than that between us.” She cried, tears pouring down her face, knowing he would never hear the one thing, the most important thing she needed to say to him now.

But she said it anyway.

Leaning close to his ear, she whispered the words no one had ever said to him. The thing he needed most. The thing she had not realized until she’d heard the truth he spoke to her.

“I love you, Gavin. I love you.”

Silence reigned around them; nothing moved; no one spoke. Only Katla’s sobbing breaths broke into it and echoed across the circle. So, when it happened, it was loud enough for both Katla and Godrod to hear.

An indrawn breath. And then another. Then Gavin’s heart began to beat once more under her hand. Katla looked at his face and he stared back.

Alive! He lived!

She touched his face and his skin, and he was alive. Gavin lifted his hand and touched her face, wiping away some of her tears with his thumb. He slid his hand into her hair and pulled her face to his, kissing her mouth and whispering words against it.

“I love you, Katla Svensdottir. I will always love you.”

She kissed him back with all the love she had within her, all the love she’d denied feeling for him. Then she helped him to his feet.

“Can you hear me, Gavin?”

“Aye, love. I hear you, though I do not understand how. My ears do not burn and there is no pain.” He paused for a moment and then laughed out loud. “And no thoughts, either!”

“How? How can this be?” she asked as Godrod handed Gavin his tunic and he dressed quickly.

Before either of them could offer any ideas, sounds began around them. First laughter like the tinkling of bells filled the air. Then whispers from near the stones. Katla watched as figures moved in the shadows. Clutching Gavin’s hand and afraid to let him go, she nodded as one figure, a man, separated himself from the circle and approached them.

Unlike any man she’d ever seen, this one was too beautiful to look on for long. He looked regal, wearing the long robes of nobles, his face pale yet lit with some strength from within. His gaze met hers first, and she realized that his eyes were the same as Gavin’s—during the ritual! Every step he took toward them echoed through the circle, and when he stopped before them and smiled, lights glimmered around them like fireflies of every color. Katla stared at his face and recognized it, too, for it was the face that Gavin took on during that time.

Was this the creature, the being, who took Gavin over, the one responsible for the power he had?

“Who are you?” Gavin asked, pulling her close to his side and away from the man.

“We are Sith,” he answered in a voice that was filled with many and sounded like music in the air around them. “You are Sith,” he said to Gavin.

Gavin shook his head in denial. “It cannot be.” Gavin looked at her and repeated, “It cannot be.”

The being laughed and the stars above flared brightly. He approached them and reached out his hand. Katla cringed, but he laughed again in that magical voice. “Fear not, human. Our touch harms you not.” The Sith placed his hand on theirs and whispered without his mouth moving.

“Hear your truth, Truthsayer.” Katla heard it as well, shocked again by the power that surged through her from just the touch of the Sith’s hand and Gavin’s. “Learn how you came to be.”

The words flowed into her mind, and then a vision was revealed there in the circle.

“Many years ago as humans count time, I discovered a woman in the western isles. Her beauty drew me and I came to her in the day and the night, giving her my love.”

Gavin realized that this Sith told the story as a human would, now referring to only himself alone. He watched with Katla as a young woman appeared in the circle near them, beautiful and filled with life.

“I took her to my lands through an entrance like that one,” the Sith said, nodding at the rise in the center of the stones, “and we spent many months there together. I gave her everything,” he said fiercely, “but she was not happy and asked to return to her mortal world and the man she’d been betrothed to before I found her. She refused my love and found her way back here on a Samhain night twenty-and-eight years ago as you count time.”

The Sith turned from them then and nodded at the place before them, and Gavin saw it as it had happened. He thought only he was seeing the vision until he heard Katla’s gasp and felt her hold tightly on to his hand.

The young woman appeared again, this time pushing her way out of the fairy hill. She was huge with child as she stumbled out of the ground, holding her belly and moaning against the pain of impending birth. She kept looking behind her to see if anyone followed, and then she began to run toward the path.

But she did not make it, falling to the ground as her pains struck. When she looked over her shoulder before gaining her feet once more, the Sith stood there on the fairy hill.

“Do not leave,” he said. “I gave you my love.” Gavin had not supposed this creature capable of such mortal emotions. But his love and pain were clear as the Sith spoke.

“Come back with me now.” He held out his hand to her but she turned away, trying to run.

“I cannot live with you. I do not love you,” she said, gasping for breath as another pain struck. She howled in pain but still turned away. “Let me go!” she screamed.

The Sith’s rage and pain exploded then. Flashes of light and waves of heat pierced the night sky as he lashed out at the woman who’d betrayed him. Katla shook at Gavin’s side.

“They are mine,” he said, pointing at her huge belly. “They are gifted.” Something flashed from his hand to the woman’s belly, and she screamed in pain. “But they will be cursed for your betrayal. When they use their Sith powers, their mortal lives will suffer. Their powers will grow and their mortal bodies will suffer. When their powers peak and end, they will wither and die.”

“No!” she screamed. “Please! Do not make my bairns carry the punishment for my sins against you,” she cried out, pulling herself up onto her knees and reaching out her hand to him. “Spare them, I beg you!”

The Sith approached her and crouched down in front of her then, placing his hand on her belly for only a moment. Gavin stared at the scene and watched some indescribable emotion fill the Sith’s face as he felt the bairns inside her womb.

“They will be taken from you, for you are not worthy to raise them. They will not know of their powers or the source of it, and you cannot tell them or the Sith will strike you all down,” he commanded.

She began to crawl away as though to escape his sentence, but he shook his head at her and waved his hand. Four others appeared around her, holding her and keeping her from running.