A Spot of Bother (36 page)

There was no reply.

So he went back downstairs and out across the lawn, reassuring more people about his father’s health as he did so. The disco had begun and he slipped into the marquee and sat himself down beside Tony who was chatting about lath-and-plaster ceilings with Ed.

Ed slipped away and Jamie took a cigarette from the packet in front of Tony and lit it and Tony poured him a glass of dessert wine and the two of them watched Uncle Douglas dancing like a wounded ox, and the music was good because it filled all those little gaps during which people were tempted to wonder about the implications of what had happened earlier, though if you knew precisely what had happened earlier you did have to try not to listen to the lyrics too hard (“Groovy Kind of Love,” “Congratulations,” “Stand by Your Man”).

For the last two weeks he’d been desperate to talk to Tony. Now, sitting next to him was enough, touching, breathing the same air. Last time they’d been together they seemed like two separate people. Somehow, in the interim they’d become a…what? a
couple
? The word seemed wrong now that he was finally on the receiving end.

Maybe it was good to be something you didn’t know the name for.

They talked to Mona about the perils of shagging one’s boss (which she had done, inadvisedly). They talked to Ray’s parents who were weirdly unperturbed by the unorthodox nature of the reception (Ray’s brother was in prison, apparently, which Katie had failed to mention, and Barbara’s ex-husband was once discovered by the police sleeping in a skip). They talked to Craig, Jenny’s gay caregiver, who was technically not meant to be talking to people on his own account while he was on duty but, sod it, Jenny was pissed and getting along famously with the spectacularly boring guy from Ray’s office.

Half an hour or so later his mother came into the marquee. And it was a bit like the Queen coming into the room, everyone suddenly stopping dancing, going quiet and panicking slightly about how they were meant to behave. Except that the man from Top Sounds didn’t know what had happened earlier so Kylie Minogue carried on singing “Locomotion” very loudly.

Jamie was going to jump out of his seat and run over and save her from all this unwanted attention, but Ursula (who had been doing a surprisingly athletic Locomotion with a group of Katie and Ray’s friends) went over and hugged her and Jamie didn’t want to trump her a second time. And within a few seconds Douglas and Maureen had joined her and his mother was soon sitting at a corner table being taken care of.

Consequently when his father entered the marquee a few minutes later he created slightly less of a stir. Again, Jamie wondered whether he should go and look after him. But his father headed straight to Katie and Ray and presumably made some kind of direct apology for his earlier behavior which must have gone down reasonably well because the encounter ended in a hug, after which his father was similarly led to a table by Ed with whom he seemed to strike up a firm intergenerational friendship (Jamie later found out that Ed had suffered a breakdown some years earlier and not left the house for several months). And it was a bit odd, his parents sitting at different tables. But it would have been odder to see them standing together, which they’d never done at any kind of gathering, so Jamie decided to postpone worrying about them till the following day.

And when Jamie and Tony stepped outside a little while later, the light was fading and someone had lit multicolored flares on bamboo canes around the lawn which was rather magical. And the day finally felt as if it had been mended as well as it could be mended.

They played hide-and-seek with Jacob and found Judy looking miserable in the kitchen because Kenneth was comatose in the downstairs loo. So they found a screwdriver and undid the lock and arranged him in the recovery position on the sofa in the living room with a blanket over him and a bucket on the carpet nearby, before dragging Judy back outside and onto the dance floor.

And then it was Jacob’s bedtime, so Jamie read him
Pumpkin Soup
and
Curious George Takes a Train
and came downstairs and danced with Tony, and Lionel Richie’s “Three Times a Lady” came on and Jamie laughed and Tony asked why and Jamie just pulled him close and snogged him in the middle of the dance floor for the whole three minutes and three whole minutes of Tony’s cock pressed against him was more than he could actually bear and he was drunk enough by now, so he pulled Tony upstairs and told him not to make any noise or he’d kill him and they went into his old bedroom and Tony fucked him in full view of Big Giraffe and the boxed set of Doctor Dolittle.

142

Katie was relieved
that Jacob was sitting in her lap when it happened.

Ray, Jamie and Tony seemed to be handling everything and all she had to do was to hug Jacob and hope that he wasn’t too upset by what he was witnessing.

In the event, he seemed strangely unshocked. He’d never seen two adults fighting in real life. Apparently, Grandpa and that man were being like Power Rangers. Though Katie had trouble remembering actual blood in a Power Rangers video and Dad hadn’t done a somersault or a karate kick.

If Jacob had not been sitting in her lap she had no idea what she would have done. Clearly Dad was suffering horribly, and clearly they should have taken a lot more notice of his doing a runner and taking Valium. On the other hand, you’d think you could wait till the end of lunch then take someone out into the street to thump them, instead of fucking up your daughter’s wedding reception, however bad you were feeling.

And clearly Mum was horrified to find out that Dad knew about David Symmonds. But why in God’s name had she invited the guy to the wedding in the first place?

All in all, Katie was grateful she didn’t have to work out what she felt about all these things while she was comforting either of her parents, or she might have gone a bit Power Ranger herself.

It was Jamie who saved the day (Man of the Match, as Ray quite rightly said). She had absolutely no idea what he was going to say when he stood up to give his speech (Jamie later confessed that he had no idea either) and she was nervous, though not as nervous as Mum who managed to actually tear her woven napkin while Jamie was talking, obviously convinced that he was about to explain to everyone precisely why Dad had done what he’d done.

But the workplace-argument story was a stroke of genius. Indeed, people were so keen on the idea that later in the evening Katie was given several entirely different explanations as to why Dad had a grudge against his former colleague. According to Mona, David had spread rumors to prevent him getting the job of managing director. According to Uncle Douglas, David was an alcoholic. Katie decided not to disagree. Doubtless by the end of the evening he would have murdered one of their factory workers and buried the body in nearby woodland.

She did sound off a bit to Ray about her parents’ behavior, which was not helpful. But he just laughed at her and wrapped his arms around her and said, “Can we try and have a fun time in spite of your family?”

As a gesture of goodwill, it being their wedding, she decided to admit that he was right. Not out loud, obviously. But by not answering back.

He suggested that she get drunk instead, which turned out to be a rather good idea, because when Dad reappeared and came over to apologize she was almost past remembering what had happened earlier, let alone caring, and she was able to give him a hug, which was probably the most diplomatic of all outcomes.

Come eleven o’clock they were sitting in a little circle at the edge of the lawn. Her, Ray, Jamie, Tony, Sarah, Mona. They were talking about Ray’s brother being in prison. And Jamie complained that he hadn’t been told this thrilling information earlier. So Ray gave him a slightly parental look on account of this not really being a subject for amusing gossip, and told everyone about the drugs and the stolen cars and the money and the time and the heartbreak his parents had expended trying to get him back onto the straight and narrow.

Sarah said, “Bloody Nora.”

And Ray said, “Eventually you realize that other people’s problems are other people’s problems.”

Katie wrapped her arms around him drunkenly and said, “You’re not just a pretty face, are you.”

“Pretty?” said Tony. “I’m not sure I’d go that far. Rugged, maybe. Butch definitely.”

Ray had downed enough beer by this stage to take it as a compliment.

And Katie was rather sad they weren’t taking Jamie and Tony with them to Barcelona.

143

Jean paused halfway
up the stairs and held on to the banisters. She felt woozy, like she did at the top of tall buildings sometimes.

Everything was suddenly very clear.

Her relationship with David was over. When George hit him, it was George she was worried about. That he had gone mad. That he was making a fool of himself in front of everyone they knew.

She didn’t even know if David was still in the house.

If only she’d come to the realization yesterday, or last week, or last month. She could have told David. He wouldn’t have come to the wedding and none of this would have happened.

How long had George known? Was it knowing that made him depressed? That dreadful thing he did to himself in the shower. Was it her fault?

Perhaps her marriage was over, too.

She walked along the landing and knocked on the bedroom door. There was a grunt from the far side.

“George?”

There was another grunt.

She opened the door and stepped into the room. He was lying on the bed, half asleep.

He said, “Oh, it’s you,” and levered himself slowly into a sitting position.

She perched on the armchair. “George, look—”

“I’m sorry,” said George. He was slurring his words slightly. “That was unforgivable. What I did in the marquee. To your…to your friend. To David. I really shouldn’t have done it.”

“No,” said Jean, “I’m the one who…” She was finding it hard to talk.

“I was frightened.” George didn’t seem to be listening. “Frightened of…To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what I was frightened of. Getting old. Dying. Dying of cancer. Dying in general. Making the speech. Things became a little hazy. I rather forgot that everyone else was there.”

“How long have you known?” asked Jean.

“About what?”

“About…” She couldn’t say it.

“Oh, I see what you mean,” said George. “It doesn’t really matter.”

“I need to know.”

George thought about this for some time. “The day I was meant to go to Cornwall.” He was swaying a little.

“How?” asked Jean, puzzled.

“I came back here. And saw you. In here. On the bed. Rather burned onto my retina. As they say.”

Jean felt sick.

“I really should have said something at the time. You know, got it off my chest.”

“I’m sorry, George. I’m so sorry.”

He put his hands on his knees to steady himself.

She said, “What’s going to happen now?”

“What do you mean?”

“To us.”

“I’m not entirely sure,” said George. “It’s not a situation I’ve been in very often.”

Jean was not sure whether George meant this to be funny.

They sat silently for a while.

He had seen them naked.

Making love.

Having sex.

It was like a hot coal inside her head, and it burned and scalded and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it because she couldn’t tell anyone. Not Katie. Not Ursula. She was simply going to have to live with it.

Jamie knocked on the door. They had a short conversation with him and he went away again.

She felt bad for not saying thank you. She could see now how good he had been, making that speech. She would have to tell him later.

She looked at George. It was very hard to tell what he was thinking. Or whether he was thinking at all. He was still swaying slightly. He did not seem terribly well.

“Perhaps I should get you a coffee,” said Jean. “Perhaps I should get us both a coffee.”

“Yes, that sounds like a very good idea,” said George.

She went and got two cups of coffee from a mercifully deserted kitchen.

George emptied his cup in one long gulp.

She needed to talk about David. She needed to explain that it was all over. She needed to explain why it had happened. But she was fairly sure that George didn’t want to talk about the subject.

After a few minutes, he said, “The salmon was good, I thought.”

“Yes,” said Jean, though she had trouble remembering what the salmon was like.

“And Katie’s friends seemed like a nice bunch. I suspect I’ve met a few of them before, but I’m not terribly good at faces.”

“They did seem nice,” said Jean.

“Sad to see that young lady in the wheelchair,” said George. “She seemed very pretty. Dreadful shame.”

“Yes,” said Jean.

“Anyway,” said George. He got to his feet.

Jean helped him.

“Better get downstairs,” said George. “Can’t help. Us sitting up here. Probably creating a bit of an atmosphere.”

“OK,” said Jean.

“Thanks for the coffee,” said George. “Feeling a bit steadier now.” He paused at the door. “Why don’t you go down first. I need to visit the little boys’ room.” And he was gone.

So Jean headed downstairs and went out to the marquee and George was right about the atmosphere because everyone seemed to have been waiting for her, which made her feel very uncomfortable. But Ursula came up and hugged her and Douglas and Maureen took her to a table and gave her a second coffee and more wine and a few minutes later George came down and sat at another table and Jean tried to concentrate on what Ursula and Douglas and Maureen were saying but it was quite hard. Because she felt as if she had just walked away from a burning building.

She watched Jamie and Tony and all she could think was how much the world had changed. Her own father had slept with the woman next door for twenty years. Now her son was dancing with another man and she was the one whose life was falling apart.

She felt like the man in that ghost story on the television, the one who didn’t realize he was dead.

She went over and apologized to Katie and Ray. She thanked Jamie for his speech. She apologized to Jacob, who didn’t really understand why she was apologizing. She danced with Douglas. And she managed a quiet talk with Ursula on her own.

The pain subsided as the evening wore on and the alcohol did its work and shortly after midnight, as the guests were thinning out, she realized that George had disappeared. So she said her various good nights and made her way upstairs and found George fast asleep in bed.

She tried to talk to him but he was dead to the world. She wondered whether she was allowed to sleep in the same bed. But there was nowhere else to sleep. So she undressed and put on her nightie and cleaned her teeth and slipped into bed beside him.

She stared at the ceiling and cried a little, quietly so as not to wake George.

She lost track of time. The disco stopped. The voices died away. She heard footsteps coming and going on the stairs. Then silence.

She looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was half past one.

She got up, put on her slippers and dressing gown and went downstairs. The house was empty. It smelled of cigarette smoke and stale wine and beer and cooked fish. She unlocked the kitchen door and walked into the garden, thinking she would stand under the night sky and clear her head a little. But it was colder than she’d expected. It was starting to rain again and there were no stars.

She came back inside, went upstairs and got into bed and lay there until sleep finally found her.