A Soldier's Journey (22 page)

“No,” she said slowly. “That's the last thing I want to do.”

“That's good enough for me,” he said.

Ethel returned with two steaming plates. They both had rainbow trout—whole, with the exception of the heads—and the tender white meat had been loosened around the bones. A mound of mashed potatoes with a puddle of butter in the middle and a medley of vegetables completed the meal.

She took a bite of trout. She identified garlic but there were other spices in a butter-lemon sauce. The potatoes also had spices, including a touch of pepper and cheese. The vegetables were fresh and slightly seared. “It's wonderful,” she said.

“We want to keep it simple.”

“You've sold me. Can I move in?”

“You haven't seen the bedrooms yet.”

“No,” she said as she took the last bite of mashed potatoes. “And I think I should finish the inspection...”

They took about two bites of the apple pie Ethel brought.

“I can't eat another thing,” she said. “It was really, really good. I would come back just for the pie.”

He stood and went to the kitchen, came out with two boxes and they put the rest of the pie in them. “I told Ethel it was beyond expectations, and that she could go home. I said I would clear up the dishes.”

“She didn't question that?”

“Well, I think she kinda figured we might like to be alone.”

“The whole town will know tomorrow.”

“With most people, yes. I don't think so with Ethel. Do you care?”

She did. She didn't.

She stood and took his hand to see the rest of the Camel Trail Inn.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

N
ATE
WONDERED
HOW
wise he was to show her the rest of the inn. Flames had ignited between them at dinner. They had been building, slowly but surely, from the moment they met.

He'd never felt this way before, not even with Margaret. Maybe especially with Margaret. With her, it had been teenage hormones, then trying to hang on to something when he was sent overseas, then a stupid one-night stand that had ended in disaster.

He hadn't thought magic, the kind Clint and Josh had found, existed for him. He certainly hadn't believed in love at first sight.

He took her good hand and her fingers closed around his. He led her out of the dining room to the hall that ran the length of the building. The air between them was fraught with tension and heat and emotion. He felt it in the way her fingers tightened against his. She stopped, looked up at him. Her gray eyes were smoky and wondering, and he sensed the same emotions that were running through him.

He leaned down and his lips brushed hers. Her mouth opened to him with uncertainty, then a need that echoed his. He knew her well enough now to understand that survivor's guilt was still like a knife in her.

As much as he wanted to pursue the kiss, he gently withdrew and put his arm around her. “Come see the rest,” he said in a voice he hoped was companionable rather than thick with wanting.

He tried not to notice the clean fresh scent of fawn-colored hair, which seemed to glow in the bright hall light, or the warmth of her body as he led her to the first room in the hall and put a key in the lock.

“No key card?” she asked.

“We decided on old-fashioned keys,” he said. “Less convenient, but they seemed more in keeping with the atmosphere.”

She stepped inside and was instantly charmed. It was obvious from the substantial oak furniture, rich tan drapes that were open to views of the mountains and the high headboard banked with pillows that it was designed for both comfort and the Western aesthetic. A large painting of the mountains hung over a desk. A horseshoe was nailed above the door and the lamps were of the same Tiffany style as in the dining room.

She turned to him. “Did you design it?”

“With Clint's help. He's a genius with computers. He found every wholesale outlet in the country. We kept looking until we found the look we wanted at a price we could afford.”

“It looks like you,” she said.

He looked at her questioningly.

“Strong, honest, comfortable.”

“Sounds boring,” he said.

“Nothing boring about it,” she said, touching his face with her fingers. “It's rather rare, I think.”

He wondered then about the man she'd lost. He wanted to ask more about him, but her gaze held a disquieting intensity, as if she could read
his
every emotion while deciding whether she could share her own. And then something changed in her face. An acknowledgment—maybe even acceptance—of what was passing between them.

Don't push.
It was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

The room seemed to grow warmer.

He felt a tightening in his groin, but he had felt that far too often in the past few days. Now, however, all he wanted was to be next to her, to feel her relax against him, to know she trusted him.

He saw pain in those smoky eyes, pain and passion and guilt and need, and his heart ached for her. And for himself. But still, something subtle had changed between them tonight. The attraction between them was like a shifting river current.

Then her eyes lightened, as if some decision had been made. She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him, this time without reservation.

The questions in his mind dissolved.

He smothered her lips with his, and his hands moved up and down her back. Her body shuddered, and his arms wrapped her close. Their lips parted. She rested against his heart. She must hear its quickened beating.

He was awash in need. He ached. He wanted her with every fiber of his being...

* * *

A
NDY
LOOKED
UP
at him. His eyes regarded her with so much tenderness her heart melted. How safe she felt with him! Not physical safety—she could take care of herself that way—but she knew to the depth of her soul that he would understand and protect who she was inside. In this short time, she sensed he knew her better than anyone had. Even Jared.

Everything with Jared seemed surreal now, an out-of-place time when emotions and feelings ran at warp speed.

This was real.

It's too soon to know that
, the gremlin inside her whispered, but more powerful feelings were ruling her now.

For the first time in months, she felt like Andy Stuart, the girl who'd fought her way out of the West Virginia mountains and the woman who'd battled her way to one of the best surgical teams in the army. Without her realizing it, Nate had guided her out of the darkness that had enveloped her, had showed her that, crippled hand or not, she was of value.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For knowing me better than I did,” she said.

The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. “I'm not sure that's true.”

She touched his cheek, ran her fingers over the strong angles of his face, touched the thick eyebrows that framed his eyes and then moved down to his lips.

How could it become so familiar so quickly?

“It's fast, I know,” Nate said, obviously reading her mind.

For the first time she didn't mind. It didn't feel like such a short time. She knew him better after a week than she had Jared after many months. The realization was like a kick to the stomach. How could she...?

She just looked at Nate. She knew he read the sudden dismay there. He leaned down and kissed her lightly. “I should take you home.”

She didn't make a move and swallowed hard. “I don't want to go.”

“You're arguing with yourself,” he observed as one side of his lips quirked upward in a half smile. “I didn't believe anything could happen this fast, either,” he added. “But I've taken a fierce fancy to you.”

“Now, that sounds like something one of your ancestors might say,” she said, trying to lighten the tension. “In fact, I think you should portray Angus in the play.” She took his hand in her good one, turned it faceup and studied it with her index finger, mainly because if she watched those lips much longer, she would collapse in his arms.

But looking at his hands didn't help. His fingers were long and the palms callused. She wanted to feel those fingers caressing her face again.

“I'm not an actor. I'm a backstage guy,” he replied as he nuzzled her ear.

He was anything but. She'd watched him take charge of meetings and projects and now she'd just seen his talent at building and design. He led without anyone realizing it. It was a rare talent: to make everyone feel that what they were doing was their own idea.

He had done that with her.

His arms slipped around her, and her good fingers moved to the back of his neck. She stood on tiptoe and lifted her head so she could touch his lips with hers.

He kissed her again, long and tenderly, so tenderly she thought she couldn't bear it.

Then he backed away. “I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone,” he said slowly. “But I didn't... I...didn't expect... Dammit, I've messed this up.”

She had never seen him uncertain before. It endeared him even more to her. “Why?”

“I didn't bring any...”

He stopped, and she understood.

She remembered what he had said about his wife. About the baby that never was, the one that forced him into a marriage he didn't want.

She started to pull back. He held on to her. “It's not for me,” he said. “It's you. I care too much to hurt you. I don't know how this happened, but I think I fell in love with you the moment you stepped out of your Bucket. It scared the hell out of me. It still does.” He paused. “I want this to be right for you.”

She touched his face. Ran her fingers over its angles, then through the thick chestnut hair. She wanted him. He made her feel safe and warm and wanted. And alive. She needed that.

She didn't want him to be right, but he was. It
was
too early to take chances. She couldn't trust her emotions now. She had been in a pain-filled world for months. She still heard Jared's voice, saw his face. Saw all the faces of those who were there that day, and then weren't.

She leaned her head against his heart. “He saved my life,” she said. “He moved in front of me. He took the bullet meant for me. He died. I lived.” She swallowed hard. “How could I forget...”

“You didn't forget. You will never forget,” Nate said.

She wished she could feel that way. But she couldn't. Not yet. It still felt like betrayal.

Home.
“I have to go,” she said. “Joseph...”

She heard his cell phone chime.

He pulled it out his phone, looked at the caller, then answered. “Nate.” He listened, then replied, “Okay, I'll head over there.” He clicked off the phone as she looked at him.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing I can't take care of. A truck carrying lumber for a construction job was hit by another vehicle. The boards are all over the road, and the truck is disabled. I have to round up a truck and a crew to get the boards before they are taken by the county as a road hazard.”

He paused, then added, “We start the job this week, and we need the lumber at the project.”

“Where's Josh?”

“He's on his way to talk to the police out there and figure out who was at fault. The last thing we need is a lawsuit.”

She wanted to help, but she wouldn't be much use in carrying boards.

“I can walk home,” she said.

“Hell, no,” he said. “I can call some guys while I drive you home. It's only five minutes.”

She didn't question him more. She knew she would only delay him if she argued. She grabbed her small purse from the bed where it had fallen and headed for the door. “Ready?”

He chuckled. “Now I know why I like you so damn much.” He followed her to his car even as he was calling around.

He ended the call as they reached the car. “Craig is getting some of the vets together.” He sighed. “I hope none of the lumber was damaged.”

He made another quick call, apparently to Josh, and she heard him explain he had a crew on the way. “I'll meet you there,” he added. “It'll be about twenty minutes.”

He replaced the phone in his pocket and opened the door on the passenger side.

Nate was all business now as he drove out of the parking lot. In minutes they were back at the cabin. “Don't get out,” she said. “I can get into the cabin. I see Joseph at the window.”

He just nodded. “I'm sorry. This is not how I wanted to end the evening.”

“I had a lovely dinner and a great evening,” she replied as reached over and gave him a quick kiss, then was out the door. She walked rapidly to the porch and opened the door, then watched him drive down to Lake Road.

She unlocked the door to the cabin and Joseph was ecstatic. He made little grunting noises of welcome, rubbed against her legs, then reached up and licked her hand.

She sat down on the floor, folding her legs beneath her, and hugged him. “I missed you, too,” she said, ruffling his thick fur. “What did I almost do tonight?” she asked as much to herself as to him.

She closed her eyes. Remembering the sweetness of the kiss. The unexpected reaction of her body.

Images of Jared darted into her head. The last time they were together. Two nights before the attack.

She looked down at her hands. They were trembling.

She stood. Wobbly. But standing. She walked to the back door to let Joseph out, but he wouldn't go. He just stayed at her side. She took the step down. Joseph regarded her with a worried look, then did what he was supposed to do before going to bed.

The air was cool but fresh. She took a deep breath.

Why now?

Andy felt weak, hardly able to walk back into the bedroom. She stopped at her bed, took off her clothes and lay down. She looked at the medicine on the table beside her. It had helped in the hospital.

But she wasn't in the hospital. She was getting on with her life.

She sat on the bed, then stretched out. Joseph crawled up beside her and put his head on her chest. He stared at her with those wide, kind, unblinking eyes.

Think of tomorrow.

Maybe she could do that now.