A Soldier's Journey (16 page)

She didn't. “It was important,” she said slowly. “I am...was...a surgical nurse. It was always challenging. The...doctor could do magic with some of the traumatic injuries.”

“It had to be a challenge coming here, a place where you knew no one.”

“I didn't feel I had a choice,” Andy said. “I was making minimum wage working in a coffee shop and I was breaking so many cups it was only a matter of time before I was fired.”

The comment was light but obviously meant to deflect. Yet he couldn't stop the next words.

“You could always go back to nursing. Doc Bradley needs someone. I certainly can vouch for you after yesterday.”

She shook her head. “I can't,” she said simply. “I had to force myself to come here today. I never know when I'll have a flashback, and a hospital setting brings...” She shrugged self-consciously. “I just can't.”

He suddenly realized why she had seized on the history project. She was running away. He couldn't blame her, and yet he knew from personal experience that you could never run far enough. At one point, you had to turn and face the past. God knew, it took him long enough.

He studied her, wondering whether he should mention what he had read online. Then he knew that it would be dishonest if he didn't. He'd hated dishonesty in Margaret. He wasn't going to follow that path.

“I read about the attack in Afghanistan when it happened. Most of us keep up with news like that,” he said.

She stared at him. The warmth in her eyes was seeping away. “I thought I remembered your name,” he said slowly. “I checked the internet and confirmed it. It must have been hell.”

“Worse than that,” she said as she ran fingers through her hair. They were shaking. “I should go,” she said. “I shouldn't leave Joseph in the car this long.” The sparkle in her eyes was replaced by the curtain he'd seen on the first day.

“I didn't mean to pry,” he started to say, then interrupted himself. “Yes, I did. But I like you, and it was obvious something bad happened. I want to help, and sometimes it helps when you talk about it.”

“No, it doesn't,” she said. “It doesn't help at all.” She turned around and started for the door.

Damn.
Why had he said anything? He should have kept it to himself, or at least left it alone in the beginning. But he thought it unfair that she didn't know he knew.

She stopped at the door and turned around. “You shouldn't have done that. Dr. Payne swore that no one would know. I don't want pity or understanding or sympathy.” She scowled at him. “I discovered everyone knows everything about people in Covenant Falls, but I thought Afghanistan was off-limits.”

“You're right,” he admitted. “I should have left it alone, but I recognized...” Nate stopped, then tried again. “I wanted to help.”

She gave him a scornful look. “If I wanted help, I would ask for it. And no, you can't help, not unless you can bring the dead back to life.”

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I should have realized you're a hell of a lot stronger than you think you are. You're a survivor.”

“What makes you think I'm a survivor?” she asked.

“The smile on your face when you came in today.”

She stared at him for a long moment, then swallowed hard. “I feel guilty every time I do that.”

“You should talk to Josh,” he said. “It took him a long time to smile, too.”

“I'm not Josh.”

“You certainly aren't, but you have the same fiber.”

“You don't know anything about it.”

“Then, tell me,” he said.

“No.” She opened the door and this time she left.

He sighed. He'd sure messed that up.

But one good thing had happened: she'd had fire in her eyes. He much preferred anger over that old emptiness.

He picked up the book, although he doubted whether he could read the pages. His thoughts were too full of the woman who had just left.

* * *

A
NDY
'
S
ANGER
SWELLED
as she left the room.

It was made stronger by those few moments of intimacy that had warmed her. They had made her forget for a moment, had dulled the sharp slash of memories. She felt betrayed, particularly by someone she liked.

What had been a good day had turned sad, and she resented Nate for doing it. She didn't want to be known as
the
survivor in a massacre.

She drove to Covenant Falls in time to take Joseph home, freshen up and be on time for dinner at the Monroes'. She'd been surprised at being invited twice the same day, but she'd sensed that Sara Monroe was lonely and Mr. Monroe might have second thoughts about sharing the journals.

When she arrived, Al was dressed in a suit. He offered both Sara and Andy a drink. Both requested wine while he had what looked like whiskey.

“Is there anything about the camels in the journals?” Andy asked when they sat down. “I read about the spitting ordinance.” She wanted to hear Angus's version. It would make great copy for the inn.

Sara smiled. “Angus bought them from a traveling circus that bought them from the army. They could carry a lot of supplies and go into hard-to-reach camps. But they were fierce-tempered beasts with a habit of biting anyone or any animal that came close, and that included Angus and the handlers. No one really liked the camels but Angus. One bit the wrong man, who promptly shot it. The shooter was quickly hanged. No one liked the camels, but the camels were citizens of Covenant Falls, and the shooter was an outsider.”

Andy could tell Sara relished the story. “What finally happened to the other one?” Andy asked.

“Died of old age. An English writer called her the Dowager, and the name stuck. The town held a funeral when she died. You'll find references to the camels in the journals.”

“You know that Clint and Nate plan to call their inn the Camel Trail Inn.”

“No, I didn't,” Sara said. “But it does have a certain flair about it.”

“I'm writing some material for them. Do you mind if I use what you told me?”

“Not at all. I've always been fascinated by the Dowager.”

Andy looked at Sara. “You've read all of this in the journals?”

“Some of it. Some came from lore passed from generation to generation. Whenever I heard any small scrap, I jotted it down. I love history and I had a real-life story here,” Sara said. “I met Al at college. I majored in English but I leaned toward journalism until I discovered there weren't any jobs. Until then, I was bound and determined to be a reporter, but I fell in love.”

She looked at Al and smiled. “I never regretted it.”

“But she still has that instinct in her,” Al said.

Elena announced dinner.

Al stood back while Sara led the way to the dining room and Andy followed. But in Al's last words, she knew exactly why she had been invited.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I
T
WAS
LATE
afternoon Thursday before the last physician signed off on Nate and he was finally released. Josh picked him up in his Jeep and started back to Covenant Falls.

“I messed up,” Nate confessed as they left the Pueblo city limits.

Josh glanced at him. “In addition to your various injuries?” he asked.

“I told Andy yesterday that I knew what happened in Afghanistan.”

Josh looked at him with a question in his eyes.

Nate hesitated, then confessed. “I went online and looked her up. There was an attack on her field surgical team while they were operating. Andy was the only survivor. Apparently, she was engaged to one of the victims, a doctor. You didn't know?” Nate asked.

Josh was silent, then said, “I knew from Dr. Payne that she'd been through a lot, but nothing like this. Being a lone survivor brings a hell of a lot of guilt.”

Nate knew that only too well. When he'd served in Iraq he'd been wounded during a search through enemy-occupied buildings. Two of his buddies had been killed on the last mission. He was still haunted by their faces, and that was only a fraction of what she'd suffered.

“She's damned gutsy,” Nate said.

“She is that,” Josh said. “It explains why she jumped headfirst into our history. She needed something. Just like I did. My salvation was rehabbing the cabin.”

“And Eve,” Nate said.

“Especially Eve,” Josh admitted. He studied Nate. “You like her, don't you?”

“Hell, she's off-limits. If I hadn't known before, I do now. She's still carrying a load full of pain,” Nate said.

“You do know, don't you, that every unmarried woman in Covenant Falls has tried to penetrate that shell around you.”

“That's about three people,” Nate said, “and all over fifty.”

“A few more than that, or so my wife tells me.”

“She's only here to heal. Then she'll be gone.” Nate said.

“Dammit, Nate, sometimes reasons are just excuses. Believe me, I know. If you like her, do something about it.”

“She's fragile,” Nate protested.

“I think she's discovering she's stronger than she thought,” Josh replied. “She faced Al in his den and came up triumphant. Damn if I know how she did it.”

“I do,” Nate said. “She looks like Al's sister when she was at that age, and he adored her. You wouldn't know that, since you never met Regina.”

Josh looked stunned. “For real?” he finally said.

“Eve probably noticed it, as well,” Nate said. “Regina was fifteen years younger than Al, and he helped raise her. She and her husband died in a car accident when she was about Eve's age.”

Josh pondered that. “I knew about her, of course, because of my problems with Sam. Eve didn't mention the resemblance and maybe she didn't think about it, but then Eve can be devious in pursuing a good cause.” He grinned. “Much to my surprise, it's one of the things I love about her. She never gives up on anyone, me included.”

Nate didn't answer. He usually distrusted manipulation, even in pursuit of good. He'd had too much experience with the kind that didn't mean well.

Eve and her huge heart was the exception.

“I take it you told her you've checked on her, and she didn't take it well,” Josh said.

“Right and right.”

“Better you told her than she discovers it later.”

“That was my thinking until she pretty much told me to go to hell. She takes privacy seriously.”

“So do you, my friend, as a rule. You must have it bad.”

Nate shook his head in wonderment. “It's impossible,” he said.

“Nothing is impossible. Look at Clint and Stephanie.”

Nate just raised an eyebrow. “Andy just lost her fiancé in a hail of bullets. I don't have two cents to my name. Whatever I did have after my marriage is tied up in the inn.”

“She's army, and I've seen how easy you two are together, even if you don't.”

“Even if I thought it could work, I've blown it.”

Josh changed the subject. “Speaking of our last two cents, we need to start working on the program for the preview weekend. The gold mines for sure. I've already talked to Herman Mann about a jeep trip to the gold mine near his cabin, and he knows of several other mines. He and Clint are going to prepare maps. I was thinking we should start with a steak fry up at the falls at sunset,” Josh said.

Nate shook his head. “Why not leave the falls for Sunday? End with a Sunday brunch at the waterfalls at noon. If it's good weather, we should have the rainbow. It'll allow everyone time to get back to Denver before nightfall with a great memory. Saturday will be used for activities: the gold-mining tour, horseback riding, hiking, even rafting on the river below the falls.”

“I like it,” Josh said. “But we have to plan something Saturday and Friday nights.”

Nate was stymied. “Damn if I know, but half of our guests are women. We need something that will appeal to them... Maybe Eve or Stephanie will have an idea.”

“Or Andy?” Josh added.

“Or Andy,” Nate agreed although he feared she might not talk to him again after his confession. “Maybe we should have a meeting.”

“Not today. You, my friend, are going home to bed. You can barely walk on that ankle and you lost blood, not to mention a concussion. An afternoon off is mandatory. Tomorrow will be soon enough.”

“But you'll talk to Eve tonight?” Nate bargained.

Josh nodded as they drove up to Nate's house.

Satisfied, Nate left Josh's Jeep and limped up to his house. Ideas were tumbling through his head. An event. They needed an event of some kind. Maybe even one they could develop into a draw for tourists. He knew some towns had really turned around when they held annual events. Covenant Falls needed a turnaround, and quickly.

He limped his way into the kitchen. There was a note on the counter. “Shepherd's pie in the fridge. Just heat at 350 for an hour. If you need anything, call me. Mom.”

She knew him well. She knew he disliked being fussed over and she also knew he would probably be hungry. He called her. “Hey, Mom, thanks for the care package.”

He hung up after assuring her he was fine, located the shepherd's pie, his favorite, and preheated the oven. He sat at the kitchen table and thought about his conversation with Josh. Disjointed activities just wouldn't make the impact they needed for the preview. He knew enough public relations from his home-building days to understand that a story pulled people in. Right now they just had a hodgepodge of unrelated activities.

He stared at the shepherd's pie. The last thing he wanted now was to eat alone. It hadn't bothered him in a long time, but this afternoon it did. Maybe it was the disappointment in Andy's face when he had mentioned Afghanistan, the fact that he had invaded her privacy. Maybe the shepherd's pie would be a good apology.

He stared at the phone for a long time. Well, hell, what did he have to lose?

His oven pinged, telling him it was ready for the casserole. He summoned his courage and called Andy, hoping that she wasn't over at the Monroes'. She answered on the second ring.

“Hi,” he said. “It's Nate.”

“You've been sprung?” she asked coolly.

“Finally,” he said. He hesitated, then said, “I owe you thanks for the great medical attention, as well as an apology. A very heartfelt apology. I now have in my possession the best shepherd's pie you've ever tasted about to go in the oven. Can I tempt you to come over and let me take care of both matters at the same time?”

He felt like a kid as he held his breath until she answered. “I love shepherd's pie,” she said. “You didn't make it?” she added cautiously.

“Nope. I'm good with steaks and burgers, but a Good Samaritan left it in my fridge.”

He felt her hesitation. “I really do want to apologize,” he said. “I don't usually pry.” He hated the word. “And,” he added in desperation, “I also have something to discuss with you. Josh and I were hoping you could help us with something.”

“Apology unnecessary. I...overreacted. It's just...”

“Hell, it was none of my business.”

There was a silence, then, “Can I bring Joseph?”

“He's always invited.” It had never been so hard to ask for a date, nor had he ever been so happy to have it accepted. It scared the hell out of him how happy he was.

“Where?” she asked.

“I'll pick you up,” he said.

“No, you won't. I'm through putting pieces of you together. I can follow directions.” He thought he heard a smile in her voice.

“Turn right at Maude's, then take the fourth left—Aspen Road. I'm the fourth house on the left. It's a brown bungalow with yellow roses along the walk.”

“When?” she asked.

“When can you get here?” To hell with trying to be smooth. He wasn't any good at it.

“An hour?”

“Perfect,” he said and hung up before she could change her mind.

Down, boy
, he told himself. He didn't believe in romance. Maggie—Margaret—had killed that. He didn't trust his own instincts. And yet Andy had stayed in his head since the moment he'd met her. He had known her only a few days, but it felt much longer. He couldn't remember being so at ease with a woman.

Yet every moment with Andy had strengthened the attraction: the quiet, poignant watchfulness when she'd first arrived, the way she'd come back from the flashback at Eve's house, the mischief in her eyes when she'd won at poker, the competence in treating him and getting him to the hospital, the unique connection she'd apparently made with the Monroes.

There were so many sides to her and he liked every one of them.

Using the crutches, he limped around the living room, piling magazines and books in neat piles and clearing the dining room table. He rarely had company other than the occasional get-together with other vets, and he'd never collected much in terms of dishes and silverware. Still, he rounded up the best he had and put them on the table.

Carefully balancing himself with the crutches, he managed to take the shepherd's pie out of the fridge and put it in the oven, then realized something was missing. Wine. He had beer and bourbon but no wine. He called Josh. “SOS,” he said.

“You fell?”

“Nope. I need a bottle of wine. In the next ten minutes.”

“Should I ask why?”

“No.”

“Ten minutes?”

“Or less.”

“What kind?”

“Whatever is good with shepherd's pie.”

There was a pause, then Josh said, “Okay, but you owe me,” and hung up.

Nate plopped down in a chair. Damn, but it had been a long time since he'd asked a woman to dinner. He knew, though, that Eve and Stephanie both enjoyed wine with dinner and Eve had a ready supply.

Eight minutes later, the door opened, and he knew it was Josh. He slowly stood. His friend had a big smile on his face. “Hot date?” Josh asked.

“Just making amends,” he said.

“All we had is white. Want me to put it in the fridge? It's already chilled. I also brought a wine opener. Didn't know if you had one.”

“I do,” Nate said. “I'm not that hopeless. Thank you, and goodbye.”

“Can I have a guess?”

“Nope.”

Josh grinned. “Don't think I need one. I'll run before she discovers you're a clod who doesn't have wine.”

“Goodbye,” Nate repeated pleasantly.

“I can take a hint,” Josh replied. “Don't forget, you owe me.” He opened the door and left.

Nate found some cheese that wasn't gray yet and cut it into small pieces. He put two plain glasses in the fridge to chill them. Not elegant, but they would have to do.

Almost exactly an hour had passed when the doorbell rang and he opened the door. Andy looked prettier today than she had yesterday, and more yesterday than the day before. God help him if that trend continued.

Joseph barked at her side.

He looked down and grinned, grateful for the save. “Hello, Joseph,” he said.

“Thanks for inviting him,” Andy said, then looked around the yard. “I like your roses,” she said.

“I'm just their caretaker.” He paused. “You look great,” he said as he glanced appreciatively at a pair of pants that fit snugly on her slim figure and a dark brown blouse.

“Thank you,” she said. “I made a visit to the general store yesterday and discovered there are clothes other than uniforms and blue jeans.”

Nate's pulse spiked. His heart thudded faster even as he led her toward the kitchen.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she eyed his crutches and swollen ankle.

“Probably a lot better than I should, thanks to you. I don't know if I thanked you...”

“You did, and it wasn't necessary. I just happened to be going by.” She looked at him with concern. “No headache?”

“The barest shadow of one.”

“And the wound?”

“Sore but tolerable. A good meal will help build strong blood cells.”

She squinted at him. “Your medical training told you that, yes?”

“My common sense told me that. Along with my appetite.”

She grinned. “Shepherd's pie is one of my favorite dishes. I discovered it in Germany, of all places. There was an English pub near the base when I was stationed there.”

He limped his way into the kitchen, and she followed. She looked around and through the windows to the garden in back. There were roses everywhere.

“I inherited them,” he said with a shrug. “The house belonged to a friend of my mother's. Her son inherited it when she died. But he'd moved away and nothing was selling here. I was just returning to Covenant Falls and we made a bargain. I would rent it, make some improvements and take care of the property until the market turned around. That included the roses.”