A Soldier in Love (23 page)

He felt the sting and
impact of something hit his shoulder. He looked down it was a small rock. The
other boys were at it again. They had often thrown things at him.

“Your
mother is a whore,” a boy had yelled. It was Vrum, a vicious boy in Serik’s
class. He was large but not as a big as Serik. For some reason Vrum felt it was
his duty cruel to the others, often fighting and mocking others.
   

Serik gritted his teeth
and balled his fists up in anger. “She is not!”

“Then where’s your
dad?” he laughed.

He didn’t know. He was
beginning to notice his family was different than those of the other children.
He was different both in looks and in size. He was beginning to learn he had
different abilities as well.

“He is evil!” another
boy yelled.

“Freak,” they chanted.

Serik ran home as fast
as he could away from their tormenting words.

“Are you OK?” his
mother asked when he came home out of breath from running.

“Are you alone because
of me?” Serik blurted out.

“I’m never alone when
I’m with you,” she said with a weak smile.
 

Serik hung his head in
shame. Even at his young age he knew his mother was too kind to tell him the
truth. For whatever reason his mother loved him, she had kept him. The other
children’s words were true after all.

The next day Serik
could begin to see how different he was. Once he had came to the realization he
saw the way the others stared at him. He saw how others went out of their way
to avoid him.

“Freak,” a voice
called.

It was Vrum again. Serik
wondered why he always chose him as his victim to bully. Today, Vrum wasn’t
alone. Serik swallowed hard as Vrum and his three friends appeared. They moved
in closer and in the blink of an eye lunged towards him. The boys grabbed Serik
and tried to hold him down. Their hands clawing and tearing at his flesh as he
struggled against them. It was futile for them; Serik’s strength was innumerate
compared to theirs. He easily pushed them off as though they were puppets. He
wouldn’t let them torture him like they did the others. He shuddered at the
thoughts of what they did. He had heard of them breaking every finger in one
boy’s hand. Another story of a boy having his teeth pulled out one by one. He
decided he would endure no such pain or torture from them. It would end today.
 

“Evil, Cabaka, freak,
you want to fight me?” Vrum sneered.

Serik paced back and
forth as the other boys formed a circle around the Serik and Vrum.

“You do a disservice to
the Baat by contaminating our pure blood lines. Your mother should have been
killed,” another boy taunted.
 

“Evil freak,” the boys
all yelled in unison.

Vrum lunged toward Serik
with a punch but it didn’t faze him. Serik barely felt anything at all. He knew
that he was different from others; he was much stronger. He easily out
preformed them day after day in athletic trainings.

“Come on,” Vrum snapped.
“You’re not even going to try?”

Vrum raised his fist
again but this time Serik caught it. With his free hand he struck Vrum as hard
as he could.
Vrum’s
face briefly flooded with
confusion before he tumbled down. He had defeated the bully in a single blow. It
should have felt like a victory but it didn’t.

The others backed away
when they saw Vrum laying there motionless. Serik knew they were wondering if
he had killed him. Serik knew he hadn’t. He had given him a hard hit and a
possible concussion, but he wouldn’t die. They had forced him to do it. There
was no other choice for Serik but to fight or to be defeated.

“Remember this,” Serik
said with anger illuminated in his voice. “Remember this day when you want to
fight me again. I will kill you if you come at me again.”

The others stared in
silence as Serik sprinted away. No one followed him as he ran towards his
abode.

He panted for a minute,
catching his breath before going inside.

“Honey?” his mother
called from the kitchen as he quietly entered the abode.

“Yeah, mom?” he replied
weakly. He tried his best to appear normal. He couldn’t stand the thought of
his mother knowing. He didn’t want her to think it was somehow her fault. No,
it was his, all his.

“How was your day?” she
asked as she made her way to the living room.

“It was fine,” he lied.
“I’m just going to get started on my studying.”

He shut the door to his
room and began to cry.

I am just like my father. I am evil just like him.
Look what I had to do… I had to.

He wasn’t sure who he
hated more the father he didn’t know, the people around him, or himself.

***

“The Cabaka are going
to come back,” he heard the hushed tone of whispering coming from the kitchen.
It was the voice of his uncle warning his mother. He knew he shouldn’t have
been listening in but he just couldn’t help himself.

He shut his eyes and
relaxed his head back against the wall he was leaning against. He knew what it
meant, he would have to leave. It would just be easier for everyone that way.
He was always such a burden on everyone. He trudged up to his room and packed
his bag. He would make his life useful. He would do something in the name of the
Baat, but not for the people who hated him. No, he would do it for his mother. She
was the one person in his life who had always shown him kindness and love. Now,
it was time for him to do the same. He would do his
duty,
it would be his way to make her proud.

The next morning he
woke up just as the sun began to rise. It was early, much too early for anyone
to be awake.

“Mother,” he called out
to see if she was awake. To his surprise she was. She was in her robe with her usually
neat hair disheveled around her kind face. She looked as though she hadn’t
slept at all. Her eyes looked tired and red from crying.

“Hi son,” she said
warmly giving him a hug.

“I’m leaving,” he
began. “I have entered into the Baat explorations.”

Serik’s eyes widened in
surprise as his mother began to weep. He had never seen her weep in such a way
before.

“Ma?” he said as he
reached for her hand. She gave his hand a sharp squeeze.

“Son,” she sniffled. “I
know things aren’t always easy for you but certainly this will be a death
sentence for you. It’s suicide. Please don’t go.”

“It will be easier on
everyone if I just go,” he said softly.

She only cried harder.

Serik didn’t know why
he remembered it all but he did. It was painful. He realized that was the last
time he had seen his own mother. Sure, he called sometimes but he always knew
that it was easier on her to have him gone. She would never say such a thing
but he knew.
 
She had a husband and
another son now, a younger brother he did not know.

Suddenly, he thought of
how much pain Michelle must have been in instead of his own pain. It was
horrible reliving the past.

Serik relaxed as
Michelle slept beside him. She slept more than he did since she was still
recovering from the effects of the memory fog.

And being starved to death,
he reminded himself.

He looked down at the
beautiful little female. The time that had passed with her was the happiest of
all of his life. He felt whole, he felt complete. His face ached from smiling
so often.

I have to do what’s best for her. I have to get her
back to her own kind that is what is best for her. I know better than to love
someone I cannot have. This is just like when I left Baat. I can’t even
consider being selfish.

He loved her. He had
loved her ever since he first laid eyes on her. He loved her with every fiber of
his being. He loved her with his whole heart. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t
do for her.
 

I will do right by you, Michelle. You’ve been
through enough. I’ll get you to safety. I’ll get you to your own people. I
won’t let you think the worst of me, I will let you go. Maybe you will hate me
but not as much as if you knew what I really was.

He knew it was going to
be painful. It was going to be more painful than anything he had experienced
thus far in his life. He would miss her small body curled up next to his.
Her intoxicating scent.
The sound of her laughter, her
words, her jokes but most of all he would miss her smile.

He had always imagined
a female that accepted him. She had been a faceless, nameless creature. She was
a comforting figment of his imagination that he had kept with him for far too
long. Now, Michelle was here to fill that void but he would be alone again. Worst
of all, he would be without her. He would know what he was missing. His light
and his warmth would be taken away. At least he would always have her memory
with him, he told himself. He knew that she would always occupy his mind
especially in those quiet times. Her face would be what he saw before he went
to sleep.

***

Michelle looked over to
Serik as he navigated the ship and studied his face. He was a warrior of course
but he was also so much more than that.

Soldiers do not fall in love
, she reminded herself.
He’s just lonely, he just needs a companion
, she added.

Then why does it feel real? Why does it feel right?
Why do I feel complete?
a
little voice whispered to her. She tried to push
her feelings down as she folded her hands in her lap.

“We have to stop at Sora
in a few days,” Serik’s deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

“OK,” Michelle replied
in agreement.

“I don’t want you to be
disappointed,” Serik started.

“Why would I be
disappointed?” Michelle interjected as she looked into his golden blue gaze.

“There might be… well
it is a rumor,” he began softly.

“What kind of rumor?”
she replied perplexed as his sudden aloofness. Usually Serik was direct and to
the point.

“There might be humans,”
he finished.

Michelle’s heart raced
and her eyes widened.
“Really?”
 

“I don’t want to get
your hopes up if there are none of your kind there,” he added gently.

She rushed to hug him.
“That’s great news.”

He pulled her small
body to his cherishing the touch they shared. He felt her arms gently squeeze
him as he inhaled her sweet scent.

Great news… you can finally leave me
, Serik’s heart sank as she pulled back flashing
another beautiful smile.

He
smiled back weakly. His heart sank even further as he thought about her body
close to his when they were dancing or when he held her at night.

What did you think? Did you really think she would
fall in love with you? That someone as beautiful as her would want someone like
you?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I am meant to be alone,
she was just, well, I don’t know… she deserves better. I’m such a fool, I know
better than to fall in love with someone I can never have.

“I
have a trade there but it will probably take some extra time. About a week,” he
added.

“How
far away are we?” Michelle questioned.

“We’ll
be there in the morning.”

Michelle
looked down at the book on the tablet Serik had set up for her but she was too
excited to concentrate on reading. She smiled to herself. She was finally going
to see her people.